They’re coming for our CHILDREN!

Teabaggers, I mean. Yesterday, as my 11-year-old was approaching Raymond James Stadium to attend the Bucs vs. Packers game, a teabagger foisted the above card off on her. He better thank Great Reagan’s Ghost the kid was accompanied by my infinitely more sweet-natured sister; I might have gone all Tonya Harding on his ass.

How would those bastards like it if I stood outside the gates of the Monster Truck Rally handing out copies of Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals to their children? Not very much, I’m guessing.

My daughter wasn’t interested, but I took a look at the site advertised on the card, and hoo-boy, fellow pinkos, if grammar and style are the small-arms fire in the War of Ideas, we’ve got these fuckers totally pinned down under a withering fusillade. Here’s their home page, which I took the liberty of editing:

At first I thought, well, maybe the Tampa teabaggers are going all rogue with the English language and all, but no—the numbered text is directly from Glenn Beck’s 9-12 project site. Normally I don’t think it’s fair game to make fun of poor grammar. But this is Beck we’re talking about—a multimillionaire! Hire an editor, dickhead.

Then there’s the calendar page at the Tampa teabaggers site, which included this rather wistful observation about yesterday’s membership drive: “People were not as receptive as when we do the corners.”

Apparently the Tampa teabaggers were able to distribute more cards at events like “Operation Can You Hear Us Now?”

And the answer to that question would be, “No, because there are only three of you.”

The Tampa 9-12 organization has 1,320 members. The population of Tampa is 340,882. What’s that Beck says—“We surround them”? Yeah, like General Custer surrounded the Lakota at Little Bighorn.

But not to worry—in addition to coming after our children, the teabaggers are banding together to indoctrinate their own with this wonderfully named splinter group:

There’s entirely too much FAIL in the “Sisterhood of Mommy Patriots” to unpack now—not least the fact that it comprises women who are able to refer to themselves as “mommy patriots” with a straight face. But I’m considering a black-ops assignment. Stay tuned.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/09/09 at 08:14 AM • Permalink

Categories: Politics • Bedwetters • Nutters •

Share this post:

“Sisterhood of Mommy Patriots.” Yeah, between this and a new HuffPoo post from Siskind, this day is off to a great start!

Comment by Oblomova on 11/09/09 at 08:54 AM

Apparently they must have brought the mojo to your beloved Bucs…putting aside the fact that they rebrandished the most hideous, painful and negatively reminiscent bucs uniforms ever. Maybe if you tell the teabaggers the coach’s name is Raheem, they’ll stay the fuck away next time. Besides, isn’t there a intersection light on Dale Mabry where they can be mocked more openly?

Comment by Manamongst Hussein on 11/09/09 at 10:55 AM

Betty, it will be the fulfillment of one of the prophesies of the Apocalypse when you become a MinuteMom. Good, because the sooner these chuckleheads are Raptured, the better.

They should know better than to mess with an editor’s child.

Comment by Mrs. Polly on 11/09/09 at 11:05 AM

I must note, again, that the fRighties’ difficulty telling adults from children is one of the creepiest things about them.

# 4 and #5 would appear to be mutually exclusive.

Comment by Hunger Tallest Palin on 11/09/09 at 11:08 AM

Rule of thumb: Anyone who insists on being designated a “patriot” is a fear-filled coward with a gun collection; any group that represents itself as “We the People” is a handful of mental defectives with a grievance and an unread copy of the Constitution.

Comment by StrangeAppar8us on 11/09/09 at 11:43 AM

HTP: No doubt about 4 and 5.

Also: 7 ends in a preposition.

Proper grammar and consistency are the blitzkrieg of Liberal Fascism.

Comment by Another Luke on 11/09/09 at 12:05 PM

Anyone who insists on being designated a “patriot” is a fear-filled coward with a gun collection; any group that represents itself as “We the People” is a handful of mental defectives with a grievance and an unread copy of the Constitution.

Or, as John Whiting once wrote:

“Any time there is a so-called nationalist revival, it always means one thing: someone is trying to seize control of the entire nation.”

Comment by Brad on 11/09/09 at 12:09 PM

not least the fact that it comprises women

Let it go forth that today, the ninth of November in the year of our Lord two thousand and nine, someone on the internet used the word “comprise” correctly.

Comment by gil mann on 11/09/09 at 06:02 PM

How would those bastards like it if I stood outside the gates of the Monster Truck Rally handing out copies of Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals to their children? Not very much, I’m guessing.