They’re real, and they’re sec-tacular

DONK DONK DONK DONK DONK

Oh hey, didn’t see you come in. What’s that? Ha ha, no, this isn’t a madrassa, I was just banging my head repeatedly against my desk.

De Botton suggests that atheists like Richard Dawkins won’t ever convince people that atheism is an attractive way of looking at life until they provide them with the sort of rituals, buildings, communities and works of art and architecture that religions have always used.

Yes, that’s a lovely idea. Who wants to sleep in on weekends? I salute this notion, it promises all the sense of obligation and going-through-the-motions of church attendance, but without the downside of getting to be reunited with loved ones when you die. And don’t lie, you know that when you’re reading a comment thread on Pharyngula you’re thinking the whole time, “man, I sure wish I could sit next to these charming folks on a wooden bench for an hour and a half every week.”

I’d like an atheist temple in my neighborhood, actually; might help me figure out why, exactly, my godless brethren are so keen on having meetings all the time. Maybe the rampant polysexual hedonism’s more fun with an audience? Me, I’d be too paranoid about revelers bogarting my abortifacient stash to really loosen up.

My initial reaction to this story was a frustrated cry of “it’s called THE OUTDOORS,” but to be fair, this guy lives in England. I’ve never been, but to hear my more globetrotty friends tell it, a typical weather forecast goes something like “dreary with a chance of seasonal affective disorder,” so okay, I can’t expect Londoners to develop deeply meaningful personal relationships with Stephen Jay Gould or whoever over a picnic spread. Still, I can’t help but think he’s mistaking old for religious. I mean yeah, St. Patrick’s Cathedral is breathtaking, no question, but a modernist church? Yuck. Looks kinda cool from the outside but then you walk in and there’re all these weird angles that don’t seem to have any real purpose. I think I’m still talking about architecture.

De Botton argues that you definitely don’t need a god or gods to justify a temple. ‘You can build a temple to anything that’s positive and good. That could mean: a temple to love, friendship, calm or perspective.’

Okay, you guys have fun building your temples! I’ll be rubbing mine.

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Hey De Botton, here’s an idea, stop teaching atheists (because we are all born atheists) there is a magical sky-daddy-resurrected-zombie who will make everything just peachy, but only after you’re dead.

Then tax the fuck outta the snake-oil salesmen and women who make millions bullshitting their fellow citizens.

Comment by HumboldtBlue on 01/26/12 at 06:59 PM

I heard an interview w/Alain De Botton. Avec certainment I did! Actually he sounds tres Anglais. I think he’s a Brit.

He said some thing along the lines of, “One thing that religions get right is not assuming that if you are told something once you’ll believe it” He says that us secular humanists assume that if something follows logically, we only need to be told once and that’s it. Case Fucking Closed!

I thought that made sense. I applaud atheist temples in principle. I guess. It’s one more club I can not join.

Comment by Jewish Steel on 01/26/12 at 07:01 PM

you guys have fun building your temples! I’ll be rubbing mine.

Are you one of those fertility cultists, then?

Comment by Xecky Gilchrist on 01/26/12 at 07:14 PM

Hubby and I go to Temple every chance we get, but here they call it “the mountains”.

Occassionally we have to feed the collection plate, also known as the US Park Service or US Forest Service. Though there is the added benefit that the money doesn’t end up helping cover-up for pedophiles in priestly robes.

Comment by StringOnAStick on 01/26/12 at 11:58 PM

In my experience, those who believe there is a supernatural master of the universe, also think that atheism is another form of belief rather than a lack of belief.

Not sure why, but it’s important to them to share that with me. To which I say, “Whatever.”

Comment by Glix on 01/27/12 at 02:10 PM

Universities do an excellent standin for these places de Botton is writing about. Everything needed to pursue a life of reason is there.

The Pantheon was evidently meant to be a place like this, and it turned into a mausoleum. It was very impressive when I visited because it represented the French saying as a nation-state “These are our heroes—you do not have to be a soldier”. Someone who had to do with European unity (Jean Monnet?) was among the most recent.