Am I a bad person because I want Russell Brand to die a horrible, painful death?

Am I a bad person because I want Russell Brand to not die a horrible, painful death, but instead to continually regenerate from the wounds inflicted so that his horrible, painful death could potentially last forever?

A brief review of the atrocities:
1. Yet another craptastic remake of yet another excellent movie;
2. Brand being 200 times more annoying than he is attractive; and
3. At least two Bowie tracks are attached to this piece of shite.

Certainly, the “Shall I wash your dick, sir?” line will take on newly unpleasant overtones.

But I suppose Her Helenness is no less susceptible to ruining herself for dollars than was Sir John himself. At least it will keep her in feathered hats.

God, I love Helen Mirren so much.  I’m actually considering seeing this movie—and I hated the original—and this looks even worse.

@Mrs. Polly, thank you for that picture.  Sweet dreams may be mine tonight.

WTF was that? I gather from some of the comments that this a remake. I just don’t understand why would the fabulous Helen Mirren subject herself to this monstrosity. She’s not that desperate for money, is she?

I love your site and I love Betty Cracker.  But you’re all wrong about this.  Russell Brand is a comic genius (when he confines himself to playing himself).

Oh, and would Helen Mirren ever be in a bad film?  Of course not!  She’s not Dame Judi.

I love your site and I love Betty Cracker.  But you’re all wrong about this.  Russell Brand is a comic genius (when he confines himself to playing himself).

Yeah, I kinda get a kick out of Russell Brand and I didn’t really care for the first Arthur. Then again, I don’t care for remakes either. Nothing makes me angrier than thinking about the completely unnecessary remakes of outstanding films like Manchurian Candidate or Death Race 2000.

Oh, and would Helen Mirren ever be in a bad film?  Of course not!

I don’t know anything about R. Brand, but I think the original Arthur is silly good fun (bear in mind I laugh my ass off at the Naked Gun and Pet Detective movies, so my tastes are decidedly low brow).

As for remakes, they’re infuriating when done poorly, but there are some worthwhile ones, in my opinion, namely The Italian Job and recently True Grit.

PS: Thanks for your kind words, Pointer.

Who’s Russell Brand? I’m hating on the guy who’s playing Johnny Depp playing Willy Wonka doing a bad Dudley Moore impersonation. ;->

Does this mean Brand’s wife will be recording a horrible cover version of the 80s atrocity known as ‘Arthur’s Theme’? 

Actually, I’m not even hating on Russell Brand, since I’ve never heard of him and I’m sure he’s a wonderful performer. I just despise remakes of things that were uniquely “of their time” and iconically done to perfection the first go-round—even if, like the original Arthur, they were sentimental, escapist crap.

Who’s Russell Brand? I’m hating on the guy who’s playing Johnny Depp playing Willy Wonka doing a bad Dudley Moore impersonation. ;->

Actually that was my first thought when I saw the still shot. My second was some sort of historical piece replete with horse doody yuck-yucks. Then I hit play and discovered the truth was much worse.

But I do think Brand is going to be the guy studios call when Depp turns down a project.

Depp turned it down because he already wore that hat in Bennie & Joon and Willie Wonka, does the “fey” act in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies and perfected the substance-impaired routine in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Or so it’s being reported in the Arab media.

If they wanted a bad remake of a bad movie, they should’ve chosen to remake Arthur II: On the Rocks

Abhor? More like utterly detest and despise. Remakes are like promises…unfair to those who make them.

Russel Brand is an English comedian whose career has gone down the pan since he called a beloved national treasure (Andrew Sachs, i.e. Manuel in Fawlty Towers) on national radio and told his answering machine that he had slept with his granddaughter.  Cue national tabloid furore, shortly followed by the BBC cancelling his contract.  This is something of a step down for him, believe it or not, although to be fair he is ideally suited for the role he’s playing (obnoxious brat).

Remakes have always been with us, and they are not an inherently bad thing.

I can rattle off 5 or 6 Golden Age directors who remade their own films!

I actually liked the remake of The Manchurian Candidate. Hell, Frank Sinatra gave it his blessing, and I thought Jonathan Demme and the screenwriter were very respectful of the original, and careful not to touch the iconic moments.

Well, Dame Judi did play Dante in Bluntman and Chronic.

Russell Brand is too much of a fucking slob to play Dudley Moore.

Oh, and would Helen Mirren ever be in a bad film?  Of course not!

*cough cough*

Oh.  Right.  Um ... uh-yeah.  OK.  Ya got me there.