Ahh.  Clearly somebody told Alvin here that politics is scored by golf rules.

This seems to be a very smart move to pre-empt accusations of being a rigid Dem party-liner.

One of his tweets/twits/stupid comments mentions hiring some Donald guy who ran the 2008 sentae [sic] campaign against Barack Obama.  Would that be the Alan Keyes campaign, by any chance?

This guy’s supposed to be a Dem from SC?  Oy.

@Elisabeth

It helps to know what the heck you’re talking about:

Meet my new campain manager - Daniel Vovak, he ran for Sentae against Barak Obama in 2004. .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

I guess he’s going for the anti-Obama vote?  As a Dem?

Oh, this just gets better (via wiki):

Daniel “The Wig Man” Vovak (born May 15, 1972 in Cleveland, Ohio) is a comedy writer[1] and satirist perhaps best known for his tongue-in-cheek political Republican candidacies and for The Blue Dress, a movie script that he wrote about the Monica Lewinsky scandal and which he was reportedly producing as a movie.[2][3] He also does ghostwriting.[4] 

snip

In July 2004, Vovak entered the U.S. Senate contest in Illinois, seeking the Republican nomination after Jack Ryan withdrew.[13] He was interviewed to run against Barack Obama during a special meeting of the Illinois Republican State Central Committee in the 2004 Illinois Senate election.[14][15] Alan Keyes was picked to run.

@Elisabeth—See how brilliant this is? Running as an “obvious Republican plant” is sheer genius for a Dem in the South! In fact, I think we should run “obvious Republican plants” against all the Blue Dogs.

I mean, as long as we’re sure they’re really Commies.

Apparently, on Countdown, the dude claimed he did not approve the website and he doesn’t know what twitter is.  It may be someone seriously screwing with this guy.  Almost enough to make me feel sorry for him.  But something still is awfully fishy about the whole thing.

I saw him on Olberman. Deer in the headlights time. Seriously. I agree; there’s something fishy.

Admit I am not following this closely.  I am just so happy that you posted something on top of the montrous open-mouth muppet of London Towne so I don’t have to look at it anymore.  Thanks, Kevin!  ;-)

LOL, my winkie got broken up into two lines.

Damn, it was a fake Twitter account.

That’s what he wants you to think. This guy is the Napoleon of Moriartys.

Spoofing and counter-spoofing spoof candidates may become the new Electoral Battlefield, with all incumbents eventually being replaced by Holographic Game Cards and the robot-actors from Kilroy Was Here.

Look, the poor dude doesn’t have twitty & I doubt he’s web-savvy, or savvy - period.  So you folks that bought into those fake tweets & stuff have been had, hard! The egg is on you for not checking into it and falling for it.

I’ve now watched several of his radio & tv interviews, including Olbermann, his disastrous radio interview on YouTube by PubliuSC, and his his interview with Mark Quinn on SCETV.

All the media and blogosphere has got their panties in a bunch over this and immediately jumping to conclusions that the dude is a “plant” or not mentally well.  You all sound just like all the conspiracy nutters we rip on here all the time.

*sheesh*.  Is it possible there could be something “fishy” with him?  Well, yes, that is one speculative possibility, but there is nothing really to base that on at this point, other than he was a total unknown that had a fluke win.

Well, did it ever occur to you that he might just be some average schlub, like most americans, who know very little about anything when it comes right down to it, yet always talk about how they could do better than the folks who are currently in office and decided to run?  You hear that talk all the time.  You see no-name candidates on ballots all the time.

The only thing really different is in this case, that average schlub decided to run and actually won.  He’s got a huge learning curve ahead of him and its one of the major reasons of why is not a good idea to have “average joe” run for office.

Instead of piling on this poor guy, who earned the right to be where he was by the will of the voters, go after the Democratic leadership for not investing into a real candidate to run against that asswipe demagogue, DeMint.

my winkie got broken up into two lines.

It just happens, I know a few good urologists. Lemme know.

G wouldn’t happen to stand for Glenn or Greenwald, would it?

The only thing really different is in this case, that average schlub decided to run and actually won.

And he did it without telling anyone, which is the part I find utterly cool.

And he did it without telling anyone

Including the FEC, by all accounts!

Yeah, cockup or conspiracy. Which is it going to be?

Meet my new campain manager - Daniel Vovak, he ran for Sentae against Barak Obama in 2004.

You can call Daniel Vovak @ 202-367-4835 and ask him about Alvin Greene’s candidacy for the South Carolina Senate seat. When I called tonight, Daniel answered, and when I told him I wanted to help with the Greene campaign he asked me “what group [I was] with,” then hung up on me, claiming he was busy “being interviewed.”

This guy is the Napoleon of Moriartys.

And Strange wins the internets.

G wouldn’t happen to stand for Glenn or Greenwald, would it?

No Alan.  And I’ve been posting here for 2 years now.

G for Greene?

Alvin, is that you?

And he did it without telling anyone, which is the part I find utterly cool.

It is fucking hilarious, that’s for sure!

G for Greene?

Alvin, is that you?

Again, NO Allan.

I’ve been here for 2 years as G.  Strange, Kevin K, Ms Polly & others here are familiar with me and my posts.

You seem tense.

Hey, G’s a regular, and a friend of the blog. I’ll vouch.

Don’t be mean; we don’t have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

You seem tense.

No. You seem clueless. I’m just responding because you asked a question.

You keep making worthless guesses that are getting you nowhere…and I’m sure trying imply and insinuate, based on the guesses you make.

If you have an actual comment about what I said, then make it. Otherwise, you’re just chasing your own tail here. 

Oh, and you should remember me too, as I’ve commented back to you on a number of your posts, both recently and in the past.  I often have the bad habit of fucking up and leaving out the 2nd “L” in your name.  Sorry ‘bout that.

Hey, G’s a regular, and a friend of the blog. I’ll vouch.

Don’t be mean; we don’t have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

Thanks for the vouch, Strange!  Hey, haven’t seen you on Patrick’s Bad Fiction blog or Dr. Conspiracy’s site in a long time.

Oh, and as a thank you for the props, if you give me an email address I can privately contact you on, I think I can dig up some of that raw footage with the filming scene I mentioned to you & Oblomova the other day, where Seka interrupted us mid-scene.

I can probably get some screen caps taken & email you the pics from that - both to give you a good laugh and *also so that you, as a fellow comic book fan - and only you will know my true, “secret identity”*.

;)

there is nothing really to base that on at this point, other than he was a total unknown that had a fluke win.

I disagree.  It costs $10,400 to file to run with the party.  In November he was defended by a public defender; in other words he had no money.  So where did an unemployed man out on bond living with his parents come up with that money between November and the filing deadline?  The money question is not definitive evidence, sure, but it is most certainly something to base suspicions on.

I admittedly haven’t been paying much attention to Mr. Greene (cut me some slack, the Darling Nikki Sideshow was hard enough to keep up with), but was there ever going to be a viable Democratic candidate in that state? In other words—why would the GOP need to run a stalking-horse in the Dem primary if no one was really going to challenge DeMint anyway?

Just confused. Then again, much about South Carolina politics confuses me. Maybe I’ll take a hike along the Appalachian Trail and clear my head. ;)

G, it’s not that I don’t “recognize” you. 

I just think it’s a bit soon to get outraged about how Mr. Greene’s being treated, here or elsewhere on the web.

And if I can call you “Jake” just this once:

Forget it, Jake.  It’s South Carolina.

I disagree.  It costs $10,400 to file to run with the party.  In November he was defended by a public defender; in other words he had no money.  So where did an unemployed man out on bond living with his parents come up with that money between November and the filing deadline?  The money question is not definitive evidence, sure, but it is most certainly something to base suspicions on.

I agree it is something to be suspicious of, but I’ll wait to get some actual answers & evidence on this issue before jumping screaming to conclusions, like a lot seem to be doing.

In the interviews I’ve seen, he’s been consistent that it was his own money he used for that $10.4 K.  Whether that is true or not, I’m sure reporters will be able to dig up and get at that answer within a matter of days. 

He wouldn’t be the first average schlub with some court case who chose to claim he was indigent and went with the public defender instead of the more expensive “lawyer up” option to defend himself.  Heck, he could have just made that choice so he wouldn’t have to crack into the cash he was saving up for running in this very race, for all we know.

I’m just saying that at this point, his going with the public defender on the case isn’t enough of a “smoking gun” to run with - only something worthy of raising eyebrows and indicating that further digging is needed to get to the bottom of it.  Heck, I’ve got a friend who’s been a public defender for Cleveland and he’s seen many folks choose to use him instead of lawyering up who have the money to otherwise do so. 

So, that is why I’ll just chill and wait for actual facts before I go passing judgment on this dude.

G, it’s not that I don’t “recognize” you.

I just think it’s a bit soon to get outraged about how Mr. Greene’s being treated, here or elsewhere on the web.

And if I can call you “Jake” just this once:

  Forget it, Jake.  It’s South Carolina.

LOL! Yeah, SC is one fucked-up state all-around in politics, that’s for sure!

Look Allan, I am outraged about the oil spill situation, not this bizarre little side show story that is merely amusement.

My chastising of others here was more of a “settle down” and *rolls eyes* reaction to the fucked-up frenzy panic flurry that generated this thread and everyone leaping to wild conspiracy conclusions and falling for fairly obvious fake tweets (one of the 1st things reported in many places on this unknown dude when he got the surprise win was that he was “retired” and didn’t really know how to use a computer or any social media at all).

So yeah, it was more of a *burn…you piss-pants reactionaries have been punked* type of slam. I’ll admit that I take little pity on the gullible, even when I know them.

I’m just asking that folks settle down and wait to get some actual facts to base things on.

Leaping to conclusions based on nothing but rumors is best reserved for PUMAs, birthers & TeaBaggers. 

Not my worthy RumpRoasters.  You guys are all way, way better than that.

We all good now?

Not really.

Alvin Greene is a public figure.

He became one when he paid his $10,400 and declared that he was prepared to become a US Senator, one of the 100 most powerful and influential individuals in our political system.

We mock public figures who set themselves up to be our leaders, especially when they are not ready for prime time.

We mock the stupidity of the situation.

Kevin posted something funny that enhanced the stupidity of the situation.

It turned out to be a phony.

It’s still funny, just for different reasons now.

It really doesn’t matter what the “truth” about Alvin Greene turns out to be.  Whatever it is, we’ll mock that. 

This ain’t CNN.

Not really.

Alvin Greene is a public figure….etc,etc

Yeah, no shit Sherlock. I never said he wasn’t. Nor do I have any problem with mocking.  And I’m obviously well aware that is one of the primary purposes of this site. 

I totally find the whole Alvin Greene situation to be completely hilarious. I’m just waiting to have a real baseline for what is actually going on, so I actually know what I’m laughing about.

You seem to be having great difficulty understanding that I’m not attacking mocking - I’m criticizing that the folks here jumped to conclusions based on hearsay conspiracy and got duped.

I’ve said all along that its possible there’s fishy stuff to his story that won’t pan out and I was clear that I didn’t rule out that he could be a plant, so learn to read and comprehend, ok? 

I was also quite clear is that my main focus is that there is no real evidence of such yet and it is also quite possible that he’s just some legit schlub who ran because he thinks he can make a difference and is in over his head. I’ll chill on passing judgment on him until I have some actual facts to go on, ok?

Mock based on facts = all okay by me. *love it*

Go off on a tizzy based on a bunch of false info and you get pwned and look like a fool.

..And when you look like a fool, then you deserve to be called out on the carpet for it and mocked in return.

So deal.  Obviously, you can dish out criticism, but have a little trouble if I give some criticism backlash that this post jumped the gun and got pwned. That’s a wee bit hypocritical, man.

You seem to have trouble appreciating the difference between reporting on an evolving news story and commenting humorously on an evolving news story.

I base this on your repeated statements that you are waiting to pass judgment on Mr. Greene until you have all the facts, and the stated and implied idea that to comment based on information currently available at the time of the posting was in some way a mistake that reflects badly on Kevin or anyone else.

This is not journalism.

I just don’t care whether the above-referenced Twitter account is legitimate or not, nor do I think that Kevin had some responsibility to contact Mr. Greene (for how else would one verify the authenticity of a Twitter account?) prior to making it the basis of a humorous post.

It was funny when he found it and posted about it, and it was funny to watch it get sorted out, and it’s still funny now.

So I just can’t bring myself to congratulate you for winning the internets.  But I will congratulate you for your role in making this the least amusing RR thread in history.

With that I will flounce out in a huff.

Oh lordy, I have had to actually click on the links on another piece of South Carolingian rococo ridiculousness, just so that I can try to keep up with this raging battle.

Ahem, G:

fucked-up frenzy panic flurry that generated this thread and everyone leaping to wild conspiracy conclusions and falling for fairly obvious fake tweets

really, I don’t see much fucked-up frenzy panic flurry here. There was at least as much concern over marin’s broken winkie, but then we are a caring blog, an empathetic blog, and a just plain neighborly blog.

I think Kevin’s “Oops” nicely covered the extent of the fucked-up frenzy panic, which, if you will review, doesn’t really begin till—-well, till your comment, G. Until then it is just riffing over a small sidenote to what is still a 100-proof shot of Southern Discomfort. If you read the WaPo article, much less saw Greene interviewed, it just seems evident that he is receiving assistance from somewhere; he can’t put together a simple, coherent thought.

Now I know that being unable to put together a coherent thought didn’t stop a certain moosetress of the absurd, but if she hadn’t been plucked from the frozen soil by Little Mac, she’d still be hiding in her unimproved ice-rink habitation, charging Alaskans for her microwave popcorn and racking up ethics charges.

The faux-Twitter account can be dismissed with a simple “Well-played, self-promoting prankster Daniel “The Wig Man” Vovak!” Reserve judgement? Good God, man, this is the Internet!

It is admittedly humiliating to have been taken in by a prop comic. But South Carolina seems to need its own variation of Poe’s Law, since there is no sense of reality to any news coming out of there.

Thanks, G. I jump to your defense and you turn into a total dick.

This is exactly why I can’t take my pet monkey into strip clubs anymore.

I’d stay and give you some more shit about being a hair-splitting yutz, but I have to wrap up my YouTube compilation of Wackiest Home Videos from the Deepwater spill.

Whatever.

I personally fact-check more shit than any snark blog called Rumproast ever should and seasoned pros fell for this tweet, too, but if G wants to do the rain dance over this, well, G, YOU DO THE GODDAMN RAIN DANCE! Look at you go! You’re having a good ol’ time!  Just turn that motherfucker into an animated GIF so marindenver can use it in a post. Deal? Deal!

Thanks, G. I jump to your defense and you turn into a total dick.

Not really seeing that, but hey, I’m probably Glenn Greenwald.*

*I don’t know what this means or why it’s a thing now

Not really seeing that

OK, well, actually I just “vouched” for him. Then the other thing happened.

Everyone does realize this is over a throwaway post about a Tweet, right?

EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS DYING! PAY ATTENTION TO STUFF THAT MATTERS!

Thanks, “progressives”!

Oh, don’t you start.

Wha? I go to bed, chuckling at my brilliant laugh line, and G comes and just ruins it with “has it ever occurred to yous” and “no jumping to conclusions” and the like. Do you know how hard it is to come up with a punchline?? Hmm? Do ya? *sobbing, runs from the room with arms flailing much like Phoebe on Friends in the jogging episode*

oh, I…don’t have anything…

Do you know how hard it is to come up with a punchline??

In further defense of G, allow me to suggest that the username “Twinky P” adds an extraneous dimension to an otherwise solid urology joke.

Wow, way too much angst spent on a KK throwaway post.

Wha? I go to bed, chuckling at my brilliant laugh line

It was very funny, Twinky P.  Even though I have an innie and not an outie. ;-)

gil, the funniest part is that I didn’t know what a twink was until someone told me! A friend and I came up with the name Twinky Perkytits, which I shortened because it’s too long to type. Now I’m just too lazy to change it.

In any case, thanks, guys, my day is complete with the acknowledgment of amusement.

Well, I guess I started some of the fretting over Greene when I decided to see who Daniel Vovak was, considering the now-known bogus twitter feed including Green hiring Laura Ingraham’s former producer.  I’ll even go so far as to admit I got punk’d a bit but, given this is SC and that we know next to nothing about Greene, I’d say I’m well within my rights to have been taken for a short ride.

I’m also quite loathe to go after someone based on scant amounts of information but this guy and his situation sticks to high heaven and deserves to be mocked often and loudly.  At least we’re not talking about his boobs.

LOUD NOISES!!!

Sorry for turning your comments section into Balloon Juice.  I know we’re generally nicer to each other here, but my passive-aggressive slam detector is a highly sensitive instrument, and though it throws the occasional false positive, I believe it was vindicated.

And nobody puts Kevin in a corner.

I didn’t know what a twink was until someone told me

Oh, jeez, I wasn’t even thinking of that. Okay, two extraneous dimensions.

I’d say I’m well within my rights to have been taken for a short ride

I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the issue, just that someone who shall remain initial-less got smacked down like a troll and didn’t deserve to be (disclosure: I’m about to travel to South Carolina of my own volition—i.e., not inside a kidnapper’s trunk—so my judgment’s clearly flawed at best).

Did it ever occur to some of you that just because someone comes roaring into a thread insulting people they shouldn’t expect to be flamed back?

In a word, “No.”

geez, gil, the last real troll-smacking around here involved an emo-pantsed genuine stalker guy who was quickly de-pantsed and is now in a tank somewhere drowning in his own acrid tears.

This was merely a love-tap administered to a valued but off-kilter regular who was yelling “Pwnage! Heavens to Murgatroyd, Leave Alvin Greene Aloooone!” at people who were more interested in Marin’s winkie to begin with.

What is this fell effect South Carolina has on the consciousness? Is it the magnolia blossoms? Let’s not all turn into Tennessee Williams characters at once!

Perhaps it’s time to draw a curtain over this unseemly mess and go on as if it never happened and never discuss it again.*

* I guess you can tell I was raised a Methodist.

This was merely a love-tap administered to a valued but off-kilter regular who was yelling “Pwnage! Heavens to Murgatroyd, Leave Alvin Greene Aloooone!” at people who were more interested in Marin’s winkie to begin with.

Well, shit, look I didn’t realize that I came across as “Leave Alvin Greene Aloooone!”, but yeah, I can see that now and that’s pretty funny.

I didn’t mean to, but I did.  So there. Jokes on me, I fucked up. I can laugh at myself re-reading it now too.  Life goes on.

So, my apologies to all, especially Allan, who I actually think consistently is one of the best wordsmiths here. 

I think things went off the rails much earlier when I tried to explain and thought that was the end of it and Allen had to reply that “It was not okay” and got all high and mighty about Allan Greene being a public figure and all that, which to me smacked of the same too self-serious shit that I guess I came across as, as well. So, it sort of devolved from there.

An no Allan, I wasn’t try to wait until ALL the facts were in, just ANY facts.  There is a big difference. It came across to me as a fact-free freak-out, that’s all.  I just wanted something tangible to go off of to laugh at, not something that appeared like nothing more than a reverse episode of PUNK’D.

So no Kevin K, I wasn’t meaning to attack your ability to research & fact check. Sorry if you felt that way. I’ve been on here long enough to know that you’ve got the chops and drop some really solid stories and can back them well.

Sorry. My bad. Apologies all.  I’m not a troll and the regulars here should know that.  I just went off the rails on this one and fucked up.

Yep Strange, I definitely earned my DICK points on this one, and I’ll take it like a man.

So I see that G has apologized to Allan on Strange’s Armed Birther Militiaman post so can we all just return to regularly scheduled snarking and I will go back to working on my dancing winkie gif for future use in a post.

We’re cool, G. Thx. Didn’t really bother me at all. I get far more shit from the other bloggers here who WON’T STOP MAKING FUN OF MY MUSIC VIDEO POSTS!

I’d suggest a group hug, but we’re really not that kind of blog.

Let’s not all turn into Tennessee Williams characters at once!

Especially Biscuit!

(pause for laughter)

Because the tin, see, it makes it hard to gain a foothold, and when you add heat to the mix it… ah, forget it.

Anyway, that’s why the “total dick” line was what set me off; I’ve always depended on the kindness of StrangeAppar8us.

Yeah, no need for a group hug.

Just simply being honest and admitting that I was wrong all around on this one.

I interpreted the initial blog post wrong, I reacted wrong, then I took Allan’s responses wrong and didn’t stop to pay attention to what I was even saying. 

Sometimes you have to stop and think to realize what you just did and just said…and it took me a number of hours before I did that.

I could blame it on being tired because it was very late when I posted and I’m still up from working all night and into today still. 

But I won’t, because although that problem helps me understand why I’m so off and got so reactionary to poor Allan and didn’t “get it” for so long, it in no way justifies my behavior or the tone of my words here.

The ironic thing is although I’ve been around here for 2 years and read this site almost daily, I don’t usually post that much, just because I don’t have the time to fit it in.

So, here I come and post more than usual the past few days as I keep giving myself more and more breaks to distract myself from glazing over too much at a mountain of spreadsheets, documents and projection calculations I’m working on, and I end up making a public ass out of myself in the process. 

Very not cool of me to do. I come here as a guest and end up shitting on the carpet in the middle of everyone’s party.

I can handle being an asshole and coming across as one. I’m old enough to have fucked up millions of times in the past and to know that I’m sure I’m destined for many more moments of stupidity in the future.

But I’m also old enough to know better and to hold myself accountable.

The worst part about it is that my poor behavior caused a major buzz-kill over here, which is totally against the whole spirit of this site and why I enjoy detouring over here for laughs.  So my apologies really go out to everyone.

More importantly, I really, really jumped Allan’s shit bad and that was totally not cool and I feel the worst about attacking him at all.  I still think some of his responses were prickish enough in tone to set me off, but I totally see his points now, so I don’t mind that he was pissed at me. I just wish I didn’t jump his shit for it and piss on everyone’s parade.

So, I hope that’s the final apology needed and we can all return to humor. 

Or as usual, I leave most of the humor to you folks, who are much better at it, and only chime in when something really strikes me.

@gil, and so do we all, because he’s so stella. (You aren’t the only one not to blanche at atrocious puns.)

@g: everybody has off days. At least you haven’t gone on record against the Civil Rights Act, or trash-talked Kevin’s hairdo, or written talking points on your hand. Have you? Let’s see those palms, young man!

I’ve always depended on the kindness of StrangeAppar8us.

As the Mormon mother in Angels in America says, “Well, that’s a really stupid thing to do.”