Well at Least it’ll Solve the Sarah Palin Problem

For the last decade, apparently,  Russian academic Igor Panarin has been predicting the end of the U.S. as we know it.  The big fall apart will occur in 2010.  Well, considering the way things have been going lately, Panarin might just have something.  So he’s even made up a little map to show how things will shake out:


Hallelujah!  We get to go with Canada!  (But can we leave Boulder behind?  Just sayin!)  And, as we can see, our pal Sarah is going with the Rooskies.  Should have kept a better eye on Putin’s big rearin’  head Sarah!  He’s comin’ for ya!

The details of how this will come about are, as yet, a little sketchy -more on the lines of 1. America the Evil will Collapse.  2.  Yada, yada, yada   3.  Here’s a map!

On the other hand there is reason to believe that California is already sinking fast and being overtaken by wandering rogue skateboarders.

Poor Barack.  As though he won’t have enough on his plate come Jan. 21.

Posted by marindenver on 12/29/08 at 04:35 PM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I LikeKnee SlappersMessylaneousPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '08St. McSamePolisnarkSarah Palin

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Well marin, you may well be happy that you’d be part of Canada, but I’m thrilled that my area will part of the EU.

Hmmm…I guess I should learn how to say, “I welcome my Mexican overlords” in Spanish.

Merci Marindenver. J’aime Europe! Ciao!

I don’t think Betty is going to be very happy with this plan. I guess she can look on the bright side ... Igor didn’t hand off Florida to Cuba.

You are SO not getting out of here without taking Utah with you. The main reason to keep Nevada is for the buffer.

Igor didn’t hand off Florida to Cuba.

that was only on the condition Russia gets Brighton Beach.


So who the hell is going to be our new masters, Japan or China? I mean, what a weasely fucking prediction. At least give me a head’s up, because I gotta tell ya, I damn sure like Chinese food better than Japanese food.

Plus, the Chinese just seem cooler and more laid back than the Japanese, and I like laid back folks.

I’m all for Cascadia, but y’all can freakin’ have AZ, UT, NV, and ID.  And Southern Cali.

It’s also probably MUCH safer for Dr. Igor to speculate about the US and its problems instead of on whatever the heck it is that’s going on in Russia right now.

Like the rest of you, I look forward to our European overlords. (I’m trying to remember the punchline about the old joke about the German mechanic, the English butler, the Italian chef, and the French lover, but that will have to wait.)

I wanted to say something about the skateboarding article that marindenver posted.  California has a lot of skateboard parks.  Do they really need to be taking over abandoned swimming pools?

Much of DC is covered by national park laws regarding skateboarding.  In practice that means that if you get caught skateboarding, they take away your board, and give you a $75 ticket.  While I know people who’ve hard their board taken away, I’ve flaunted this law pretty often with no consequence.

All I’m saying is that California has lots of skateboarding, and I resent that.  I may have to start a PUMAskate movement.  That would show ‘em.

AltHippo, the joke I heard T-Bone Burnett deliver in concert in London almost 25 years ago (to fill time while he changed a string on his guitar) is thus:

Q: What is the difference between heaven and hell?

A: In heaven, the English greet you, the French feed you, the Italians entertain you, and the Germans organize everything. But in hell, the French greet you, the English feed you, the Germans entertain you, and the Italians organize everything.

Pool skateboard Nazis must die!

Nice to see the U.S. doesn’t have a lock on bloviating wank artists.

As a resident of Illinois, I for one welcome my new Canadian overlords.  Maybe teh football will be better.

Especially looking forward to seeing South Carolina enter the European Union.

Especially looking forward to seeing South Carolina enter the European Union.

Along with Tennessee.  Yes, it’s going to be a whole new order but exciting and a little thrilling at the same time.

I don’t think the Carolingians will cotton to (sorry) those funny-looking euro coins. But the cultural cross-fertilization could be quite rich. Foie gras with redeye gravy! A night of pickin’ and frailin’ the songs of Serge Gainsbourg! Jean Beauvais organizes tobacco farmers, leads them in destroying the local Gauloise-R-Us franchise!

It’s all fun and games until the ‘necks invade Poland.


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