What could have been

With all that’s going wrong in America and around the world today, it’s important to remember how much better off we’d be with President John McCain, Vice President Sarah Palin, Secretary of State Joe Lieberman, Attorney General Lindsey Graham, Director of Homeland Security Randy Scheunemann, and Chief of Staff Joe the Plumber in charge. We really screwed up.

* FUN FACT: Scheunemann was a lobbyist for BP.

p.s. Feel free to correct any of my choices. I know Scheunemann is a stretch. Joe the Plumber, not so much.

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/04/10 at 01:56 PM • Permalink

Categories: Politics • Election '08 • St. McSame • BushCo • Bedwetters • Nutters • Sarah Palin • Skull Hampers •

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Truly, the Founders were wise to design a theory and mechanism of government that would never permit America’s voters to hand the nation over to a pair of petty tyrants. McCain and Palin would have killed this country faster than a direct hit by Asteroid Apophis, dishonored the vision of Jefferson and Washington, and made Jesus nostalgic for the scent of freshly-cut cypress and the sound of busy hammers.

Comment by StrangeAppar8us on 05/04/10 at 01:35 PM

McCain and Palin would have killed this country faster than a direct hit by Asteroid Apophis, dishonored the vision of Jefferson and Washington, and made Jesus nostalgic for the scent of freshly-cut cypress and the sound of busy hammers.

Yet again, solid gold.

Comment by Kevin K. on 05/04/10 at 02:15 PM

made Jesus nostalgic for the scent of freshly-cut cypress and the sound of busy hammers.

There really is nothing left to say after that. Ever. WAY funnier than Max Von Sydow’s line in Hannah and Her Sisters.

Comment by Oblomova on 05/04/10 at 02:39 PM

Indeed, if I weren’t a godless heathen, I’d drop to my knees this very minute to thank merciful Jeebus for delivering us from a McCain-Palin administration during these perilous times. As it is, I just thank ACORN.

Comment by Betty Cracker on 05/04/10 at 03:17 PM

McCain is now telling Hannity that Miranda rights are optional in the case of Shahzad—or, apparently, for any US Citizen who needs to have a BurnzOMatic torch stuck in his ear by Jack Bauer.

Fuck him and fuck Lieberman.

Countdown to Sarah Palin’s Twitter announcement that due process must be applied using “common-sense” principles of ad hoc justice.

Comment by StrangeAppar8us on 05/04/10 at 03:24 PM

So on topic:

http://washingtonindependent.com/83904/out-of-the-ba ilout-bedlam-obama-emerged-on-top

“That was surreal,” Obama said on the speakerphone from the car on the short ride back to the hotel, with several campaign aides on the call. “Guys, what I just saw in there made me realize, we have got to win. It was crazy in there.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be president,” he said in his familiar wry tone, only with more amazement than usual. “But he definitely shouldn’t be.”

Comment by forked tongue on 05/04/10 at 03:32 PM

Shouldn’t Joe the Plumber be head of HUD? Also, what about John Boehner as Secretary of the Interior (tanning on your tax dollars!) and John Ensign as Surgeon General?

Comment by J. on 05/04/10 at 03:36 PM

Secretary of Labor Don Blankenship.

Comment by Allan on 05/04/10 at 03:49 PM

Orly Taitz - SCOTUS.

Comment by the farmer on 05/04/10 at 04:13 PM

Tom Delay Secretary of the Treasury.

Comment by Hunger Tallest Palin on 05/04/10 at 07:02 PM

KK, in case you had any doubts.

Comment by StrangeAppar8us on 05/04/10 at 07:36 PM

@forked tongue

And McCain whined just last week that Obama wasn’t being bipartisan like he was. I’m guessing this quote will pop a blood vessel.

Comment by Elisabeth on 05/04/10 at 08:14 PM

Indeed, if I weren’t a godless heathen, I’d drop to my knees this very minute to thank merciful Jeebus for delivering us from a McCain-Palin administration

I’m a godless heathen and every night I drop to my knees to thank Jeebus, Buddah, Allah, Zeus, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster for delivering us from a McCain-Palin administration. These days, I roast a goat in thanks about once a week.