The guy looks a little like Tucker Carlson.

Are you kidding?  I have twelve years of Catholic education!

There’s your problem right there.

12 years of Catholic education. A “quick learner.” AND a “newbie” who knows enough Netiquette not to ask too many questions.

This woman is an IDEAL subject for my experiments in childhood fear-trust conditioning. Any way to find out if she’s an orphan?

“We can buy tickets on “the Onlines.”  Yes!  I’m going to buy some today!

and

“Surf’s up! With our scorching browser at the ready we’re going to Surf the Net.”  Lots of gold in this one, thanks for sharing!

She must be PUMA’s perl haxxer

They for got to warn the newbies to checkunder your seat for trolls before you dial onto the Internets, and always make sure you get a good seal between your telephone receiver and the modem cups.

I’m sorry, I refuse to believe this isn’t a parody, it’s simply not possible that people like this exist and they’re not already writing for Red State.

@Gil

Check out last night’s “Pig of the Day” and “Updates” threads at pumapac.org to watch 12 people try to create an ERA flyer using a Word template.

Please, let’s not tell them that the trick is to delete all of your Windows .dll files at the same time.

Strange-

This woman is an IDEAL subject for my experiments

She’s Goldie Hawn + 100,000 donuts. I think she’s kinda cute though, I’d experiment with her.

You sound sort of depressed today, Strange.

What’s up, got no stocks cuz ya got no job ?
All your bases belong to some slob?
Want moar sauce, and some also’s too
Got some low down dirty cathrode ray tube blues

The PUMAPAC Self-basting Metaphorical Bullseye of the Day:

If everyone reading today commits to contributing $25 by March 1st (only$5 a week!) we’ll reach our goal in two shakes of a lamb’s tail!

@Scooter

Check your email. I’m unfortunately out-of-pocket today, and not likely to be a big help on the Acksis of Evil show.

Remind me some winter to pay that gas bill from three years ago.

two shakes of a lamb’s tail!

I just love Urban Dictionary’s alternate definitions:

2. all that it takes to get some people to mount a sheep.

“Spam—That’s sending junk email to lots of people you don’t know, right?”

No, that’s called a prowl.