What In The Name Of “William Henry Pratt” Was THAT?

And by “THAT” I mean whatever it was three days ago that purported to be the annual comedy roast that mocks big government and the political press. I didn’t see it on the ‘Net, and nobody seems to be covering it…so forgive me for not believing it actually happened.

By “William Henry Pratt,” I mean the actual Christian name of Hollywood legend Boris Karloff. Early on in life, Pratt realized that no one named “Pratt” would ever be hired to zombie-walk through back-lot villages and papier-machĂ© castles. Karloff made the most of his Potemkin name, his size 40 feet, and his ability to powerfully snarl the words “FIRE BAD!”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 04/30/13 at 07:01 PM • Permalink

Categories: Geek SpeakKnee SlappersMessylaneousPoliticsOur Stupid Media

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Size 40 feet? You’d think he’d have used them to stamp out fires, but nooooooo, with some people it’s just FIRE BAD and wait for big government to save them.

After the royal ass whipping Stephen Colbert delivered (and that the villagers sniffed mightily at), they’ve been very careful to keep this thing out of the public’s eye.  Perhaps our media actually is capable of feeling shame? 

Though I did catch a bit of vid at TDS where Newt and Callista (helmet-hairs, the both of them) were left standing there, desperately trying to find someone to talk to at this event and coming up with bupkis.

That was hilarious, wasn’t it String?

There was another clip of Newtie laughing gape-mouthed at nothing in particular, while Callista tried to figure out the joke, or maybe where they were…

Yeah, it was delicious.  There could be more fitting fate to Newt than irrelevence, and none he would hate more.

That there be the pure and simple truth about Boris Karloff. And here’s clarification on one more frequent Hollywood misconstruction: The first-ever screen appearance of Hollywood sex legend Archie Leach was NOT as the Winkie Guard who yells “You killed her!” at Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz. That there fellow eventually went on to become Brilliantined smoothie Cary Grant…who was a lot of things, but never for the briefest moment was he a member of the weoponized “Oo-ee-oo” fighting force.

The guy who said “You killed her,” was largely unknown actor Mitchell Lewis.

One of my favorite Karloff roles was his chilling portray of Cabman Gray in The Body SnatcherThis particular scene is fantastic. The following scene is a great Karloff/Lugosi matchup.

Here’s a clip from The Black Cat, an existential, art deco narrative about two wartime masterminds who found each other in peacetime for a one-on-one exchange of torture techniques. Look carefully.  Both of these actors have been cherried out in villain gear worthy of Ming and Fu Manchu. In fact, Karloff appears to be the only onscreen heavy who ever dyed his hair tweed.

Ya know, you’re an odd motherfucker and you’re musical taste is all in your mouth (not to mention movies, essays, periodicals, books and scribblings jotted onto an old napkin, etc), but I guaran-motherfucking-tee we can jam together to this wonderful (non-Nasferatu lack-of-Ben-Shapiro-creepiness that normally marks your every jot and tittle) interpretation of a classic.

Ludwig would have jammed, too

Comment by HumboldtBlue on 05/02/13 at 06:07 PM

That’s a nice tune, pardner. But REAL music is when you have the Harmonicats cover Khachaturian.
All that’s missing in
this music video is Ed Sullivan, cummerbunds and a dozen spinning Fabergé eggs.

I can’t believe I fucked up your - you’re. Fuck me

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