What’s Not To Love About Wayne’s World?
Ordnance-obssessed* yokels, the NRA has a jobs program for you, and it’s the gubmint what’ll bring it, for the sake of the cheeeeldrin! Put down your Gadsden flags and march yourselves right over to the nearest Board Of Education, and apply for the enormous new KiddieShield Jobs Program, which not only will pay you to skulk about your toddler’s school hallways with the firearm of your dreams, but will pay NRA instructors to train you in operation of same! Everybody wins! Not a single pedagogical center should be unsecured by this nation’s Nimrods, not if we care for our most precious resource—uh, kids.
Pity poor Wayne LaPierre: he cannot comprehend the lack of imagination displayed by the wayward lefty press, who cannot, for a moment, even picture how Sandy Hook might have been even a little bit less tragic if Adam Lanza had encountered a hail of gunfire from QuickDraw McArmedGuards like the ones who didn’t prevent Columbine. He also cannot comprehend the nation’s fervid imaginings of how very much less tragic Sandy Hook might have been if Adam Lanza didn’t have access to a gun that burps 6 bullets a second.
*correct spelling of “ordnance” h/t Quaker in a Basement….I missed my NRA Ballistics Terminology Seminar, because I wasn’t Raised Right.