Consider it a gloating opportunity, Kevin. Every time they reference the teleprompter, they admit they have nothing. It’s such a basic piece of equipment, it’s like trying to mock Bill Clinton for using a podium. Podium Boy had to hide his overactive lower parts from the world! So is Podium Boy bringing his special folding Podium?

And McCain is in LOVE with his microphone! He never speaks without a microphone! Hey! MIKEcain! You like holding that mike a LOT, don’t you, MIKEcain?

Mrs. Polly, as usual, brilliant.

You wouldn’t be referring to this, would you?

Last night’s press conference was scripted.  All questions were pre-screened and approved by the whitehouse.  All answers were written by the little martian men and fed into Barack Obama’s head through a little electronic implant controlled by the DNC superdelegates.

You wouldn’t be referring to this, would you?

Unfortunately, I’m referring to a lot more than that. But, yeah, that’s a perfect (and ridiculous) example. From one of the “adults.”

If only Obama would spend hours each day memorizing speeches or transcribing key talking points on little index cards! Why, the economy would be back in the black in no time. Swine flu would turn into mounds of tasty bacon. Peace and harmony would reign in the Middle East. A new manufacturing hub would arise in the Rust Belt, transforming obsolete TelePrompters into cars that run on an endless new domestic energy source: PUMAstupid. My dogs would obey my every command, and children everywhere would eagerly beg for cauliflower. Goddamn TelePrompter! It’s ruining our lives!

and children everywhere would eagerly beg for cauliflower.

Now you’re just being silly.

Yeah, I’m much happier with TelemprOblahblah than spending the next 8 years hating.  Hate kills you inside.  Hate kills kitty blogs.  Hate kills the GOP party.

All is good with the world.

As Mrs. Polly notes, in an open forum where wingnuts are rampant, the only response to Teleprompter is,

Really?  That’s all you got?  Bwahahahaha.

Someone should be reading into this teleprompter material. There might be something in it, like chocolate filling. That and BILL AYERS, but the liberal MSM will never tell you about that. It is a SECRET at this point. Hopefully Michelle Malkin can bring us the full story.

I’d rather have to spend the next eight years dealing with interminable, horribly lame teleprompter jokes than “pranks” (waterboarding is just like hazing!) carried out by Bush and Cheney. No foolin’.

I’m really enjoying this opportunity to come up with crazier and crazier conspiracy theories that I then slip into casual conversations with a few wingnuts I work with, in order to see what sticks and enters into the echo chamber.

The whole “re-education camp” thingy?  Yeah, that started as a water cooler chat about Felix Hernandez’s pitching performance against the Twins a few weeks ago.

I don’t care if Obama nukes Tehran.  The fact that he drives Captain Cockslap absolutely nutso outweighs anything bad he could possibly do.

Wow, the butthurt is strong in that thread.  Great blog name, by the way.  “Protein Wisdom” sounds like fitness/diet site.  Kind of ranks up there with “Pajamas Media” and “Little Green Footballs” as shining examples of why wingnuts can’t be taken seriously.

Fuck Bill Kritsol. Just thought I’d throw that out there.

Oh boy, Goldstein is in good form today. That’s a grade-A ragegasm… btw, I just checked Somberby—he’s still stuck on teabagging. Poor guy. I think K. broke him!

I think K. broke him!

We’ll only know for sure if he threatens to cock slap me.

Does this mean the Senator Boehner can only hide behind his pampers?

The fact that he drives <strike>Captain Cockslap</strike> every wingnut on the internets absolutely nutso outweighs anything bad he could possibly do.

Fixed.

So Caro included the Confluence post mentioned above on her daily post on Corrente yesterday.  Lambert and BF, rightly, smack her down for propagating right wing stupidity. 

What I don’t understand is why Lambert doesn’t just revoke her posting privileges?  What possible value does he think Caro brings to his site?