When Chocolate Goes Bad: What’s Up With “Big Cocoa”?

Two weird stories out today:

♦ Voice of America reports that three journalists have been arrested by Ivory Coast officials after publishing details of a secret inquiry into corruption in the nation’s cocoa industry.

♦ Meanwhile, yesterday, an unidentified buyer purchased Europe’s entire supply of cocoa beans—some 241,000 tons.

Either George Soros hates Halloween, or Mr. Slugworth ain’t fuckin’ around anymore.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 07/17/10 at 04:15 PM • Permalink

Categories: Food • News •

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The cocoa purchase was by a London hedge fund (so convenient of the Torygraph not to be able to figure that out).

I have to disclose that I have a stockpile of 400-gram fruit & nut Toblerone bars. Not sure if it’ll be enough to get me through, but I guess there’s always eBay.

Comment by YAFB on 07/17/10 at 07:27 PM

It means Chocolate Jesus is fixing to return.

Comment by General Stuck on 07/17/10 at 09:14 PM

This. Is. War.

Comment by Allan on 07/17/10 at 11:19 PM

First the coffee bean prices, then the energy prices, now the chocolate prices. Will these blasted hedge hogs never quit?

Comment by Glix on 07/17/10 at 11:25 PM

The chocolate ration has gone up from 30 grams per week to 25 grams per week.

Doubleplusgood!

Comment by jeffinfremont on 07/17/10 at 11:44 PM

Twelve hours until Costco opens.

I wonder if I can fit a pallet of Nestle’s Chocolate Chips in my trunk?

Comment by Allan on 07/18/10 at 12:10 AM

Great, now we’ll have to wall the Eastern seaboard to keep out the chocolate refugees.

Comment by Mrs. Polly on 07/18/10 at 06:35 AM

Alarming, to say the least.

Comment by Betty Cracker on 07/18/10 at 06:35 AM

al qaeda done it. Those pesky scamps.

Comment by Elton on 07/18/10 at 09:26 AM

I am disturbed. And very, very jonesin’ for toblerone. You know, if they fuck with the cocoa, the revolution will sweep over the world and we’ll finally get the Kenyomuslamofascist overlord we were promised.

Comment by ruemara on 07/18/10 at 03:44 PM

It’s not just the chocolate. Without cocamide DEA and cocamidopropyl betaine, all our of face creams and shampoos will lose their luxurious conditioning properties, and our tanning lotions will smell like Lestoil.

This is Evil of a kind I fear we have never faced before.