When tree frogs attack…
As regular readers of this blog know, godless commie Cuban tree frogs have waged an unrelenting campaign of demeaning physical attacks and public humiliation against me for the better part of a decade. For no good reason.
It happened again this morning. Just after dawn, I heard the distant rumble of garbage trucks, looked out the window and realized that Mr. Cracker forgot to set out the garbage can (which is totally his job) before he went to work.
I also remembered that I cleaned out the fridge last night, a chore I don’t perform nearly often enough, so the garbage can had some stuff in it that was going to get rank fairly quickly in the 90-degree heat. Still in my flannel jammies, I rushed to put on a pair of flip-flops and drag the rubbish bin to the curb.
So I was attempting to muscle this extremely heavy garbage can down the drive and to the curb…oh hell, I’ll just draw a picture:
[Saga continues below the fold]
My neighbors love me:
And that’s when the creature made its move:
It was like it was happening in slow motion:
It landed on my face. If you were looking through my glasses, this is what you would have seen:
And just as the Grinch on Mount Crumpet suddenly acquired superhuman strength, I found the strength of **ten** Crackers plus two and flung that 100-pound garbage can across the yard as if it weighed no more than a cotton ball, ripped my glasses off my face and threw them 20 yards in the opposite direction and ran away screaming. Which, in addition to contributing greatly to the amusement of the sanitation crew (naturally they arrived at that very moment), resulted in this:
Fucking tree frogs. You do realize this means war.
Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/14/11 at 11:30 AM • Permalink
Categories: Critters •
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