While I Was Sleeping, Championship Cornhole Happened

I knew weeks ahead of time that the Miller Lite World Championship of Cornhole was going to take place on Saturday and Sunday at the Big Sandy Superstore Arena in Huntington, WV. I promised myself I would blog about it on Rumproast. But, somewhere along the line, I got sucked into a maelstrom of deadlines and pre-surgery eyedrop schedules, and totally dropped the bag.

As it turns out, there are no post-tourney reports or press releases. The outcomes at Huntington remain a mystery—and will probably stay that way, at least until Miller or the organizers remember that it’s bad form to let the promotional Web site die once the event is over.

What’s important at the moment is that Creative Class Bloggers understand that Cornhole is to Real America what Absinthe, Alinsky and the Something-Dreaming Game are to the Groundwater-Leaching Model of Progressivism. If you want to understand Beck and Palin, you must first understand Cornhole. Cornhole is the Rosetta Stone of Ultra-Nutbag Conservatism, the Smagardine Tablet of Gingrich Trismegistus.

Getting inside the Cornhole Mentality is a daunting task. There is no textbook, no manual, no Bible of Cornholery. But there is, it seems, a movie trailer…which may be all Ye know on Earth, and all Ye need to know:

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/06/10 at 03:18 PM • Permalink

So who was named The Great Cornholio for 2010?

Sorry, commenting is closed for this post.