Who is the Ted Cruz Coloring Book *For*?

 photo tedcruzcoloringbook_zps9f8449c9.jpg

I know I’m coming a bit late to the party regarding commenting on the Ted Cruz coloring book, but I think it’s in part because it isn’t really…that weird to me? To explain, when I was six (!), I was a recruit to the Kiss Army, because they were not just a band, but an obviously swag-generating operation. I saw the Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park tv movie, and decided I was going to grow up and marry Ace Frehley. I had the Colorforms. I had some trading cards. What other bands had Colorforms and trading cards? None. So who was the number one favorite of headbanging first-graders? Exactly. You have to give it up for a band that merchandises for the milk and cookie crowd, although, I admit, by Animalize my tastes had just about matured out of them.

So it goes, right?

But that leads me to the question—who is US Senator Ted Cruz to The Future for? I figure the upper age for kids who actually color is what—ten? So the kids coloring Senator Ted today would be more concerned with entering high school than voting booths when 2016 rolls around.

I know. It could just be kind of a hipster-fun thing to have a political coloring book, and I might be overthinking this a little, but I don’t doubt that Cruz probably does have his sights on the White House (probably in 2016,* too) and that although he says he had no involvement with the creation of the coloring book, it definitely has the fingerprints of some “friends of Ted” (note the “Ten Commandments” branch on that tree). Am I being goofy if I think this is aimed at planting a seed with “Generation Joshua” (some of whom are definitely in the process of being softened up for the TX GOP politicians of the future)? That way, if 2016 doesn’t fly, maybe 2020? 2024?

(*I know I have claimed not to be interested in talking about 2016 yet. “Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds” and all that.)

X-posted at Strangely Blogged.

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 12/13/13 at 08:21 PM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I LikeMessylaneousPoliticsBqhatevwrElection '16NuttersTeabaggery

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I’m so glad you parsed all of that @Vix.  I’ve had to leave this alone because I find scary creepy.  Growing up in the ‘60s wasn’t exactly “normal” but really?? Ted Cruz might ring a bell with poli-bloggers but I doubt he’s a household word out there in the Mall of America yet.

On the other hand, tea-baggers have been sort of artsy-craftsy since the get-go and cheesy coloring and comic books seem to be a staple of home-schoolers.

Like I said creeeeepy. . .

I don’t know how seriously to take it (sometimes a coloring book is just a coloring book, and it could just be a lark), but the corner of evangelism Cruz, Sr inhabits is pretty authoritarian, and the Generation Joshua/ A Beka-ACE / quiverful/Dominionism/Jesus Camp, etc. stuff always makes me concerned—they’ve a military bent to them, and they start working on their kids’ brains young.

Kids dont buy coloring books. Parents do. Or rather parents get handed coloring books at family friendly political/religious events so the kids keep quiet while mommy or daddy hears the good word.

@Aimai like I said—creepy.

Oh, well, sure its creepy. I didn’t flesh out my point because I was on a phone while typing it but its more all of a piece with their general attitude towards sanctimony and anxiety about modern culture. Kerry had a “Kids for Kerry” thing at his convention when he was running for President but it lacked this creepy focus on Kerry and was more about pens/toys/trinkets for you to hand to your kid to keep them quiet.  What I think is interesting about the Cruz coloring book is not that it exists (like I said: trinket) but that its content is so Cruz/savior/smarmy and that it seems to combine right wing religious and constitutional fetishism in one dull package.  They spend half their time criticizing Obama for a cult of personality, and the rest of it itrying to shoehorn their own candidates into a worse one which conflates Cruz or Rand Paul with the founding fathers/jesus.

@aimai I guess if your Dad tells you that you are the Anointed One often enough, you can’t help but get a little messianic spring in your step.

Anyone who hasn’t had the opportunity to check out the creepy innards of this thing should go to the New York Daily News article

It’s not just the fact that the coloring book exists that creeps me out, it’s what’s in it.  My reaction is the same as Vixen’s title and Jon Stewart’s reaction to Megyn Kelly’s “white Jesus/Santa” thing—“who’s this for, anyway?”

It’s not just the fact that the coloring book exists that creeps me out, it’s what’s in it.  My reaction is the same as Vixen’s title and Jon Stewart’s reaction to Megyn Kelly’s “white Jesus/Santa” thing—“who’s this for, anyway?”

“White Jesus/Santa” and the historical revisionism of “Christian nation” language come from the same exclusionary place that seems to hold at its core that nonwhite and non-Christian are inherently less-than.

Homeschoolers. The same segment as Rush Revere saves the Constitution from Liberals.

It’s very jesuit of them or Maoist, to indoctrinate their children and stunt their brains in order to “win”.

They don’t want thinking adults, but drones to carry out the Conservative Agenda of Oppression, Subjugation and Adulation of the Rich.

Jeebus (sic), I just read the newspaper account of the book. Its even worse than you might think—though I love the additonal fact that the publisher is AC/DC and did a similarly craptacular coloring book for Obama at his inauguration.  I particularly like the assertion that Ted has a health care plan when none is offered, followed by the assertion that Obamacare is “worse than war” because “at least then our soldiers can have weapons and defend themselves” unlike the “defenseless children and old people.”  I really want to see the silver bullets that kill the diseases of children and old people without health insurance under the old system.

I really want to see the silver bullets that kill the diseases of children and old people without health insurance under the old system.

@aimai it’s called “survival of the fittest”  conservatives are very scientific that way

Indeed, it’s the only science they like (and practice).

I’m really going to enjoy seeing this fucking moron run for President, only to get slapped down by the voters. I really hope the Republican voters select him as the GOP nominee, it’s going to be fun as hell watching Hillary take him apart at the seams like a cheap suit.

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