Who’s Pushing Obama’s Buttons?

I’m worried about my President.

Lately, it’s become more and more of a challenge to follow the reticulated ley lines that trace back from the Oval Office to the sundry Aghartan Temples, Lovecraftian Sarcophagi, Floating Aerial Death-Dromes, Vril-Powered Crystal Pyramids, Nazi Regeneration Chambers and gated Georgetown mansions from whence are jerked the invisible wires that animate America’s First Marxist/Corporatist/Muslim/Zionist/Anti-Semitic/Demopub/Republicrat/ Anarchist/Racist-on-Both-Sides/Crypto-Reaganite Cypher-in-Chief.

But just whose water is our homuncular Head-of-State carrying? Zontar? J. R. “Bob” Dobbs? The Bohemian Grovers? The Franklin Mint?

More importantly, how many distinct, warring Control Entities can one fragile Host Mind sustain before the left and right hemispheres of the brain start chasing each other ‘round and ‘round like two slabs of calves’ liver in a blender, and Obama nukes Disney World?

A bit of Googling unmasks a slew candidates for Master Controller (MCPOTUS), but yields no consensus:

Who Owns Obama?  (Zionist Jews, Blacks, the Youth Vote and Zbigniew Brzezinski. Which, when I think about it, is sort of the Ginger Baker’s Air Force of mismatched political sidemen.)

The Man Who Controls Barack Obama  (William Ayres and, by extension, the Ghost of ‘60s Radicalism, a.k.a. any Liberal over 50 and any non-observant Jew under 5’ 10”.)

Who Controls Obama the Most; the CIA, Israel, Goldman Sachs, or Rahm Emanuel/Teleprompter?  (TelePrompTer narrowly edges out the Jews and write-in MCPOTUS Michelle O.)

Bilderberg CONTROLS BARACK OBAMA AND HILLARY CLINTON!  (Surely, only the Burger-Builders could run both of them.)

Obama’s Puppet Master…..TEA PARTY BEWARE..  (Soros, by way of the Rothschilds, financiers to the New World Order—which is just like the Old World Order, but with more movie channels and a lot less vinyl.)

The Truth About Obama, Banks, the Illuminati and Payday Loans  (Bankers, the Illuminati and FDR via his membership in the Ancient Arabic Order of Nobles of the Mystic Shrine, which this writer hilariously mistakes for a “real” secret society, rather than the fez-wearing “clown-car” type.)

Obama, Freemason, Related to Both Bush, Cheney  (Illuminati, CFR and Masonic connections—a veritable conspiracy Jackpot Trifecta.)

Glenn Beck: Obama Worships Satan  (Yeah, well, who didn’t see that coming? Fortunately, not everyone’s on-board Beck’s Crazy Train.)

UFO-Show in Norway Sky Welcomes Obama for Nobel Prize Ceremony (Technically, of course, this would mean that Obama commands the Grey Aliens, rather than being their telepathically-uplinked robo-thrall. However, in the typical alien hive-society, that’s a distinction without a difference.)

I’ve intentionally left out the KGB, the Trilateral Commission, the Eleven Celestial Imams and the Cult of Kali-Ma, since everyone knows you can’t get anywhere in American politics without being sponsored by those outfits. I just wish the Wingnuts and the Disenchanted Lefties would get together and pick two or three Dark Overlords we can all agree on, just to simplify the debate and conserve bandwidth on Obama’s neck-mounted USB port…at least until we’re willing to admit that—occasionally, anyway—the Brother-from-Another-Agenda may, in fact, be working to his own plan.   

Oh, and if any of you cynical bastards think this whole post was just an elaborate excuse to use that image and start an Open Thread, you’d be at least half-right.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 06/29/10 at 02:39 PM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsBarack Obama

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You can always find some epic crazy by browsing the various tags on Wordpress - just the usual key words, like “constitution”, “politics” and so on.  There are some very stupid crackpots out there.

the Cult of Kali-Ma

Kali-Ma… Kaliii-Maaa.. Maa… Liaaa…

Malia!

Did you plug the hole yet, Daddy?

Damn, she’s relentless!

The Franklin Mint?

Aha! I knew those bastards were in on it! From here on, beware any capodimonte from the Home Shopping Network. Pass the word to your fellow patriots.

I’m soooo excited you have Illuminati in there!  I’m in the middle of Brown’s Angels and Demons and now it all fits together!

I note that the the real puppetmasters, the Codpiece Prometheans, don’t even get a mention in this post.  Odd that.

I can’t believe neither Cthulhu nor Opus Dei didn’t get a shout out!

@Lawnguylander—Keep your voice down.

The Great Gazoogle has heard you, and has given us an answer: the Emo Vampires from Twilight control all.

We all know it’s really the Gnomes of Zurich, with help from the Trilateral Commission’s Orbital Mind Control Lasers.

Which in turn is really being controlled by a secret cabal of Immortal Knights Templar.  Who are being controlled by Hagbard Celine from his golden submarine.

Who doesn’t know his strings are REALLY being pulled by JR “Bob” Dobbs in an attempt to cull the “pink” herds before the Xist saucers arrive.

It’s all simple.  Really.

@Patrick McKinnion—I have studied the works of Ivan Stang, The Prophet. In fact, I was lamely attempting to emulate Subgenius art-forms in my header-image.

@HTP—Ia! Ia! Obama f’taghn!

Pfft… not one mention of the Norwegian Mafia? 

We won’t be ignored, America!

This is all a distraction.  First they have you looking for who’s pulling his strings.  Then who’s pushing his buttons. WAKE UP PEOPLE! THE OBAMATRON IS CONTROLLED WITH DIPOLE SWITCHES!

Barzini is a pimp. He could have never beat Sonny. I didn’t know until today that it was Sarah Palin all along.

During the Dean campaign, there was this one lady in our local group who got to talking about Kerry ‘n’ Bush ‘n’ Skull ‘n’ Bones, blah, blah, blah…then she said, “I know all about The Star Chamber!”

I took that as my cue to back slowly away, no sudden moves….

Crazy don’t know no ideology.

two slabs of calves’ liver in a blender

That’s an Islamokenyan Smoothie!

Strange, I am worried about that little blue and pink molecule at the bottom of your graphic. It looks cuddly, the way Ebola proteins do before they start chaining up.

Said graphic would make the most wonderful T-shirt, btw, but I fear the people from whom it would draw the most enthusiasm.

When I was counterprotesting the local TEA Party, I found myself forced to listen to a rabid antisemite, who stopped by briefly to look the group over and who I suspect was looking to make a few converts.  He calmly explained to me that Hitler had invented the phrase ‘workers of the world unite’—unfortunately for him, I was smarter than dirt, and knew that was wrong.  After I told him so, he then proceeded to calmly go into standard antisemite bullshit.  Including the fact that he wasn’t antisemitic, because the Jews aren’t really Jews.

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