Will she or won’t she? Random Sunday Morning Ponderfication

Last weekend I read the last Harry Potter book. Later I had an unrelated conversation with a friend about writers who don’t know when to shut up. You know the one’s I mean. The dudes and dudettes who take a plot line or cast of characters or what have you and spin it out into 3,405,926 books, each one more tedious than the last. [Looks at Terry Brooks.] 

Stop smirking. We both realized part of our griping was pure jealousy, so there. And I can’t honestly say that if someone offered me truckloads of cash to write the same book over and over and over and over, that I would say no. Although I’d expect a gent with horns and a pitchfork to take part in the proceedings. And by the time a writer’s third book has gone sprinting off the shelves and publishers are fighting for your attention and no one dares mention the “E” word in your presence, the old ego must need its own seat flights.

Plus, what if the fans go loony ga-ga when you end a series and you wind up like the dude in Misery?

So I can understand why one book becomes three books becomes a dozen. Really. But aren’t these people afraid of going Anne Rice and becoming so detached from reality and so in love with their own legend that snot-nosed bloggers use their name as shorthand for an insanely egotistical writer who needs to get a grip?

[Looks at Anne McCaffrey]

Apparently not. Not that I’m saying Anne McCaffrey is a loony. Especially if you’re a loony ga-ga fan. But man. Does that woman do anything but write? Someone should check to see if her family has her chained to her desk.

So. Where was I? Oh yes. Rowling. Who has vowed to never ever ever write another Harry Potter book. I’m not saying she’s a liar or playing coy or even that she doesn’t currently mean what she said. Still, I give it five years before she puts out another.

Discuss.

That is to say, discuss without spoilers or you’ll be forced to listen to Sarah Palin speeches until your brain runs out of your ears.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 05/31/09 at 08:26 AM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I Like

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When I was a kid I thought Robert Heinlein was all that and more—that is, until I realized that he had MAYBE two stories to tell but many more books out than that. Eh, it probably beats factory work. Wasn’t George Sand cranking them out in her day—now she’s remembered for her dalliances more than her writing. I wonder how Anne Rice will be remembered 50 years after she’s gone.

I wish I could chain Terry Pratchett to his desk.

Every part of me wants to be a spoiler. MUST. NOT. DO IT.

It’s really difficult. *tying hands*.

That Herman Hesse—- all those Siddhartha tie-ins just completely ruined him for me. ( I did fall for the Gotoma action figure, I admit. I just love folding him into the lotus position. His little feet are so bendy.)

And then he thought he could woo me back with Steppenwolf. Hah! You can’t step in the same river twice, Herman!

Though the Polly Pocket Magic Theatre is a pretty cute toy. I saw it marked way down at Kmart, but did I buy? No, I did not. There’s such a thing as karma, Herman.

I did play with it for about an hour. The box was open! You know what? The little mirrors are just reflective stickers. So disappointing.

That is to say, discuss without spoilers or you’ll be forced to listen to Sarah Palin speeches until your brain runs out of your ears.

Jebus effing Christ man, calm down...we’re all friends here.  Now put the remote on the floor…slowly…and slide it to me…

And then he thought he could woo me back with Steppenwolf. Hah!

Where does The Glass Bead Game fit into all of this?

Perhaps the only kinda funny thing I can remember Jimmy Fallon ever saying on “Weekend Update” was during a report on how many bajillion copies of whichever Harry book was out that year had been printed. “Fans now eagerly await the next installment—Harry Potter and the Death of Trees.”

Harry Potter and the Death of Trees.

Reminds me of one reviewer who critiqued the current Stephen King fare by the pound. The first pound was fairly absorbing, the second pound seemed unfocused, the third pound started to show some spark…etc.

My cousin told me once that I just needed to read the books from a particular pulp fiction author.  She said they were real page turners.

I bought 5 books by this author all at once and began to read.  By the 3rd book I realized it was the same plot over and over.  I read the other two but only because I owned them.

Oddly, the name of the author now escapes me but maybe you’ll recognize him: 
1.  Set in exotic local like Africa or Antarctica. 
2.  Something rare or unusual has turned up in a cave or underground
3.  There are armed militia types trying to prevent the hero from getting his/her hands on the rare thing
4.  There are monsters/aliens trying to kill the hero
5.  There is an indigenous population of hitherto unknown people/beings

Anyone recognize the author?  Whoever it is, that’s the one I don’t recommend.

Anyone recognize the author?

Nope. But I bet Tom Sharpe could do a kickass spoof.

Anyhow, all this talk of trees is making me feel guilty. I’m just following orders.

Glix - Sounds like the work of co-hacks Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child.

If you took away the monsters and aliens I’d think you were talking about Hack Extraordinaire Clive Cussler.

When I was a kid I thought Robert Heinlein was all that and more—that is, until I realized that he had MAYBE two stories to tell but many more books out than that

David Eddings only has ONE story to tell.  But he usually does a good job at telling it.

Now Robert Jordan, there was an author who didn’t know when the hell to shut up.

And of course, Laurel K. Hamilton as a textbook example of how to really ruin a perfectly good series.  I miss the days when the Anita Blake series was good, before Anita became Buffy the Vampire Layer.

Oh honey lamb, you most certainly don’t mean Anne McCaffery, because Laurel K Hamilton has that job all sewn up. Beyond sewn up, she’s totally Emma Sue’d up. And I sure do miss Ms Anita Blake from when she was a bad ass. As far as last HP novel.. well if it doesn’t float you, it doesn’t float you. But I will say it was long, but a good finish for the series. Rowling will be writing about HP’s father last I heard. Robert Jordan? Is he the guy writing an epic poem and getting people to buy it as a scifi saga? Even Tolkein quit after 3 books, Jordan.

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