YAFB’s 2012 Rumproast Roundup, Part 1

Just about every outlet runs a recap of the year at this point in the calendar, so I figured I’d join ‘em.

After the fold and in the subsequent parts you’ll find a whizz through the highlights and lowlights of the year I’ve chosen to cherrypick from the pages of Rumproast, along with some nominees for Headline of the Month. All this is obviously open to debate and I’m sure there are plenty of folks who’ll disagree with my choices in what is of necessity a very sketchy and superficial skim of 2012’s themes. If so, feel free to pipe up in the comments.

JANUARY

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The new year brought one among all too many false dawns of Peak Wingnut, with the Republican primary debates in full swing.

Newtmentum figured prominently in our coverage, but it was sayonara for Jon Huntsman. This self-culling of arguably the sole sane candidate from the field was countered by Mrs. Polly‘s report of Michele Bachmann’s earlier self-defenestration, along with Betty‘s of the Rick Perryplosion, and the ebbing of the wave of Santorum that had threatened to engulf the nation, which in the end led YAFB to bemoan the inexorable ascent of Mitt the Inevitable on behalf of desperate snarkists everywhere. Meanwhile, finger-waggin’ Jan Brewer did that voodoo that she does so well, YAFB took WaPo factmangler Glenn Kessler to the laundromat, gil got ahead of the pack by skewering Jennifer Rubin, assorted baggers were trumpeting Ron Paul as the latest Obama-shaming New Progressive Hope, Betty presciently predicted that “You’ll get Willard’s tax returns when you pry them from his soft, impeccably manicured hands,” and somebody called Sally Failin (?check sp.) continued to explode periodically onto TV screens in dive bars across the nation in her continued bid for relevance and $.

Headline of the Month Nominee

Yes We Can-Can


FEBRUARY

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The Republican primaries continued to grind on, which drove YAFB to seek escape by taking as close a look at The Donald’s dastardly doings in Scotland as a soul could bear, thankful that Mrs. Polly had softened the animated toopstand up with a few coups de nads earlier in the month. Meanwhile Betty made the case that God probably wasn’t on the Republican candidates’ side after all, YAFB boggled at Jay Joyner‘s earlier description of Rick Santorum as “easily the most likable candidate remaining in the contest for the Republican presidential nomination,” repeatedly went postal on the CPAC conference, cataloged a florid loon venting the contents of a diseased mind at a crowd of allegedly rapy, misbehavy OWS demonstrators, then later tempted fate by celebrating Mardi Gras with a preemptive photoshop of the not-yet-undead Andrew Breitbart, while gil covered republican mating rituals at the same gathering in all their glory. Mrs. Polly belabored WI governor Scott Walker with the Mighty Umbrella of Snarktruth, having earlier revealed that ejaculations of Santorumentum’s wane had been premature. Betty savaged James Poulos for the latest volley in the Republicans’ infinite War on Women, and gil covered the upheaval in Syria, observing: “Anyway, now comes the hard part: deciding what color to use for our Twitter backgrounds,” which must have come as a welcome respite from covering the Kontinuing Komen Klusterfuck, after Mrs. Polly‘s revelation that yes, if Santa wasn’t under siege en route, you could well find a Susan B. Komen gun in your Christmas stocking (batteries not included). Among it all, Betty, again prescient, wondered, along with TPM’s Brian Beutler, whether “the GOP plans to follow Paul Ryan down the kill-Medicare rabbit hole again in an election year,” having already observed that Mitt Romney has never gotten the hang of politicking.

Headline of the Month Nominee

I Haz Assad


MARCH

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This month saw Vixen Strangely join our merry but at the time sorely depleted band. Having resigned herself, like the rest of us, to a predominantly depressingly Mitt-colored presidential campaign, she decided to take a look at potential Republican vice-presidential candidates. Had the Republicans taken her observations on board, it might have all panned out ... more or less the same, really. YAFB dubbed Dan Riehl the latest recipient of our coveted Tosser Award for his failed Word-powered attempt to nail WaPo’s factmanglers for colluding with the White House. However, Riehl failed to top Town Hall’s David Hoyt in clarifying why we call some folks wingnuts, and YAFB will always for ever be in love with this quote of his:

An international carbon tax program is one of the most hideous ideas forged in the minds of men. Since all known life forms are carbon-based, it is a proposal to control all life.

Meanwhile, Vixen told us about Dick Cheney’s new lovepump, looked forward to Newt retiring from the fray, offered some relationship counseling to the Republicans regarding Grover Norquist, and kept tabs on her old flame, the incomparable Ricky, by now not looking quite so fine. Having worked off his crush on Jennifer Rubin, gil took Nicholas Kristof to task for his analysis of why conservatives and liberals can’t just get along, ferchrissakes. Betty wrote one of the many, many posts about gun control, and more particularly the right’s obsession with obstructing it at any cost, that read as grimly ironic in retrospect. She’d earlier savaged WaPo’s Richard Cohen for wondering where oh where the Democratic Party’s Sarah Palin might be. A few kerfuffles dominated some other blogs at this point, so we weren’t about to be left behind: HugGate, the Trayvon Martin killing, and the vicious vendetta against Sandra Fluke that eventually saw Rush Limbaugh circling the plughole. And we weren’t done with the never-ending Republican primaries by a long chalk, as Super Tuesday disappeared back into the telephone kiosk whence it had emerged. In among all this, YAFB finally overcame his initial reluctance to address the death of Andrew Breitbart by examining the death cult that had gathered to hump his corpse, having finally stopped laughing his ass off at the bags of fail that were trying to keep the paychecks rolling in perpetuate the Big One’s legacy. He also once again despaired at various folks’ determination to not only obsess pointlessly about daily poll results, but totally misread them. This again proved somewhat prescient, but perhaps not as much as gil’s revelation that even at this early stage in the election, James Poulos was declaring that winning’s for losers.

Headline of the Month Nominee

Comfortably NOM?


Part 2 is here.

Posted by YAFB on 12/26/12 at 08:29 AM • Permalink

Categories: I Don't Know Much About Art, But I Know What I LikeImagesPoliticsElection '12NuttersOur Stupid MediaPolisnarkRumproast RelatedSkull Hampers

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I haven’t checked, but I think “comfortably NOM” is a hands-down headline of the year.

@HumboltBlue—I’m biased, but I like it—although the proper term for NOM is probably “smugly” (which isn’t a song-title at all) and I rather wish they weren’t comfortable, srsly.

somebody called Sally Failin (?check sp.) continued to explode periodically onto TV screens in dive bars across the nation in her continued bid for relevance and $.

I think the fact that she failed to respond to the shouts of “show us your hooters!!!” led to decreased ratings in said dive bars, and a resultant drop off the media landscape.

I haven’t checked, but I think “comfortably NOM” is a hands-down headline of the year.

That is a good-un!

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