Yes, But What Happens When a Younger, Prettier America Comes Along?

“There’s a much better American future ahead,” he said. “I haven’t met her yet. But when I do, I promise I’ll buy the Old America a box of chocolate turtles and one of those funny, goofy Hallmark Cards that lets y’all down easy, and almost makes you feel good about being dumped.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 05/11/11 at 05:06 PM • Permalink

Categories: Politics • Election '12 • Nutters • YouTubidity •

Share this post:

That bastard would dump us like yesterday’s garbage for Sri Lanka. All Sri Lanka has to do is sashay past him in a fetchingly wrapped sari, and bam! Newt would serve America divorce papers faster than you could say “cancer surgery.”

Comment by Betty Cracker on 05/11/11 at 05:38 PM

What galls me is when Newtie and the other Republican Runners say things like, “We want to change things for the good of the country, not for the good our ourselves,” inferring that the Democrats were the ones who ran the economy into the ground, wrecked education, ruined social programs. It’s mind-boggling how they bitch about the very shit they caused!

Fuck Newt and his disgusting fat face. He couldn’t be sincere if his life depended on it.

Comment by donnah on 05/11/11 at 06:12 PM

It’s hard to know where Newt thinks he’s going to garner support. The adultery and “run out of Congress on a rail” constituencies can only take you so far.

Comment by marindenver on 05/11/11 at 06:19 PM

I read that the current Mrs. Newt is going to playing a big part in his campaign—read: making sure the old horn dog doesn’t try to hump any donors or voters.

Personally, I would love to see a Gingrich-Giuliani ticket.

[I may be reading too much into this but the verification phrase is “come75.” Hmm…]

Comment by J. on 05/11/11 at 06:50 PM

I only got as far as “I’m Newt Gingrich,” before I had to stop the video. anyone want to summarize?

Comment by arguingwithsignposts on 05/12/11 at 12:51 AM

@TwinkyP:

“I’m Newt Gingrich. Reagan, Reagan, Reagan. I worked with him! When I was Speaker, here is a lie about how much unemployment came down. Bill Clinton was president then, but let’s don’t talk about it right now. We Americans must force change on They Unamericans Whom I Am Not Saying Hate This Country But You Know What I Mean.