My God, what a hellhole—a gutted, trash-strewn Abattoir of Dreams where Socialism’s failed human Petri cultures scrounge for rods of dry, salted cow-flesh and enlist in steel-cage matches with Mexican luchadores, evil ninjas, obese Social Security Disability sponges and scary robots because government-subsidized Liberal education has damned them to a life of Hopeless Parasitism and nihilistic thrill-seeking. Only when these opportunity-deprived zombies are gnawing on processed tube-meat and being kicked shitless by a mechanical man in a diving helmet do they feel truly alive.
The Kwittin’ Image swooped in for a cameo, the Weeping Hamster thrilled to his own voice while conferring Wingnut Decorations upon some Rotary Club presidents, and there were more black entertainment acts than the Stax 50th anniversary concert. The Special Ops Warriors Foundation gets a boatload of money in exchange for providing cover for the Cuddly Savonarola, and everybody’s happy! Isn’t that what counts?
I have to say when I saw this earlier I was not only thankful that the poor guy got out of N. Korea in one piece, but also wondered if Kim Jong-il & Co. were just trying to lure over former U.S. presidents for photo ops.
Someone at the State Department was thinking on the same lines.
Per TPM P.J. Crowley is chief spokesman at the State Department. LOL.
The jury is finally in and found Ex-Governor Hair Helmet guilty of only one count out of 24 - making false statements to the FBI.
The thrust of his attorneys’ position was “we’re with Stupid” and it appears to have pretty much worked.
His lawyers tried to paint him as an honest, if simple, politician led astray by bad advisers.
The jury was deadlocked on the other 23 counts and the judge is apparently declaring a mistrial on those counts. Leaving it up to the prosecution to decide whether to re-try the case. Or they could take the one guilty verdict as enough and decline to spend more time and taxpayers’ money on a politician who is essentially a buffoon and likely won’t ever hold public office again.
What’s your vote?
UPDATE: Well, my question’s been answered. U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald announced tersely that he will re-try the case. Blagojevich, meanwhile, ignored his own “note to self - don’t talk so much” and did a victory lap while accusing Fitzgerald of persecuting him. The song and dance goes on.
Fox News (and yes, I know, usually they don’t believe in *science* but this seems to be an exception) had this spectacular video recreation of an exploding star many gazillions of miles away but warns of the potential for one somewhat nearer to explode and obliterate us all. Does bring us back to basics when you see this stuff. (Be patient through the 30 second or so commercial. ;-) )
I know what you’re thinking, but bear with me. This video includes shit you’ll never see anywhere else:
1. Mark Blankfield, the greatest physical comedian since Buster Keaton (although you can’t tell from this clip), in an absolutely kitchen-clean print of a hopelessly underrated dumb comedy from 1982 about a kindly surgeon who snorts white powder and turns into a Deranged Disco Freak.
2. George Chakiris. Period.
3. Tim Thomerson (Jack Deth, Dollman) at a time when he still had half a chance of being a slick, romantic lead.
4. The invention of the phrase “Putzpuller Prize.”
5. Possibly the greatest in-your-face, “I Yam What I Yam” male stripping anthem ever written, complete with soul-trio back-up.
6. “Some follow their hearts, I follow my nose. Some put on airs, I TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES.”
Plus, it’s partly dubbed in German, which lends the whole thing an air of disturbing Weimar menace that is absent from the original.
Experts were disappointed today when, using the latest undersea robotic technology, attempts to lower a cap onto the Kwittin’ Image Nonsense Gusher failed. Despite the additional placement of an absorbant boom near the mouth of the gusher, nonsense continued to spill at a rate which GOP sources refused to estimate, but which industry sources admit qualifies as one of the worst disasters in over eight years.
Industry sources were, however, quick to quash the suggestion that a nuclear option was in the works.
After more than 60 years of fighting crime in a bathing suit WW gets a makeover!
Although Wonder Woman was one of my fave cartoon heroes growing up, I confess I haven’t paid her much attention in recent (recent being about 40) years. So I’m glad to see she’s finally getting a modern touch with just the right element of glam.
Alas, if this so-called doctor gets her way female super-heroes may be a thing of the past. I really just have no words.
Happy Bloomsday! Thanks to a couple of mischievous Twittercritics (h/t Huffpo) and the raffish fellow in the eye-patch above, Sarah Palin’s isn’t the only stream of consciousness on Twitter, though there couldn’t be two more Polar opposites than Molly Bloom and Death Panel Nellie.
As chronicled recently by Betty Cracker, a troubling trend of middle aged males apparently wearing Tribbles on their head has emerged. Latest to join this movement appears to be BP CEO Tony Hayward attempting below to appear humble and apologetic after realizing that his statement that, hey, he wants the leak plugged as bad as anyone because he wants his freakin’ life back! might be seen as a tad insensitive.
Because, you know, several million Gulf Coast residents would like their freaking lives back too, friend. Along with their livelihoods and their whole freaking ecosystem. I don’t think anyone needs to poll the fish, turtles, shrimp and pelicans to guess they’re not too happy about literally losing their lives over this too.
Hear me, Mr. Hayward. I hope you do not get your worthless life back. I hope you get your ass fired, your company liquidated and you lose everything you own and hold dear so you can experience what you will have done to others. Oh, and I hope they repossess the Tribble too.
Just a few things of note as everybody settles back into the work routine.
First, of all the long-term, high profile political marriages who’da thunk Al and Tipper Gore (!) would be thinking about calling it quits? No explanation given, pleasepleaseplease don’t let us find out Al’s been having a long time affair with an aide or something.
Second, a question for the Repubs. How’s that repeal-the-bill thingy working out for ya, part deux? A “60 Minutes”/Vanity Fair poll finds that a plurality of Americans do not want to repeal any or all of the reform law. Respondents were asked if they would like to repeal specific sections of the law or none at all. Not surprisingly the individual mandate was the least popular feature with Republicans most wanting that section gone.
Next up mavericky half-guv Palin tells Bobby Jindal to find his own inner maverick and ignore the feds! She suggests Jindal go full speed ahead with building them there berms and ask forgiveness later. Yeah, I’m just SURE Louisiana has the dough to take care of that.
Finally, over at the Washington Post, Richard Cohen *muses* on whether recent declines in crime rates are bad for liberals! In a piece somewhat remarkable, even for Cohen, in its incoherence, he apparently is arguing that crime is committed by bad guys and therefore liberals are wrong to assume societal ills contribute in any way. He doesn’t explain why the bad guys are seemingly getting less bad these days. Maybe because bleeding heart lie-beral programs to fight crime might actually be, um, working?
“Defiant Judge Takes On Child Pornography Law” reads the title of the NY Times piece about federal Judge Jack B. Weinstein and his misguided attempt to soften mandatory sentencing guidelines for perverts who download images of child pornography.
Now generally speaking I don’t think private sexual behavior should be regulated, and I don’t particularly believe prostitution should be illegal, but child pornography is something else altogether. Children are sexually assaulted to satisfy the appetites of people like Pietro Polizzi, the defendant in this particular case, who downloaded 5,000 graphic images of children, mainly pre-pubescent girls. Judge Weinstein doesn’t think this guy should go to jail and said:
“I don’t approve of child pornography, obviously,” he said in an interview this week. But, he also said, he does not believe that those who view the images, as opposed to producing or selling them, present a threat to children.
“We’re destroying lives unnecessarily,” he said. “At the most, they should be receiving treatment and supervision.”
Let me repeat: he said that that “he does not believe that those who view the images, as opposed to producing or selling them, present a threat to children.”
Are you fucking kidding me?
Does this guy seriously not get the basic law of supply and demand? Does he seriously believe that children would be molested and photographed if pervs like Pietro Polizzi were not out there?! 5,000+ images this guy had. 5,000+ children sexually abused to satisfy this guy’s disgusting fetish. And Judge Weinstein thinks that the buyers in the supply/demand chain do not present a threat to children. I think we should lock up people like Polizzi and throw away the key. He certainly should never have access to a computer again. Although, left to his devices this disgusting creep would find other ways to get his pictures. And more children would be molested for his needs.
As is typical with these people Polizzi has absolutely no insight into his crime and sees himself as the victim:
“I don’t see Judge Weinstein as a judge,” Mr. Polizzi said during an interview as tears rolled down his face. “I see him as my father. He helps people. He doesn’t destroy lives the way the prosecutor has. He’s the one who is going to set me free from the court.”
Boo hoo. Poor Pietro. I swear, if Weinstein lets this perp walk, he deserves to be yanked from the bench.
Betty Cracker provided some guidance to converting $$ to chickens under Sue Lowden’s proposed Chickens for Checkups solution to healthcare costs.
Now the guesswork has been taken out of the process at the Lowden Plan website with its “medical procedure to chicken” converter.
Need an appendectomy? Only 1,018 chickens! And a flu shot can be had for a mere 5 chickens. Other procedures might take you into the realm of goats and cattle. Unfortunately you will be on your own for those conversions. A cautioning note or two has also been posted:
Chickens should be secured in your trunk or truckbed if possible. Any chickens riding in the passenger compartment on the way to the doctor must wear seat belts. Chickens should not drive you to the doctor, if you are unable to drive you should dial 911 for an ambulance. Ambulances may not accept chickens for payment, you should have at least 4 goats or an adult pig for such cases. Your healthcare provider may not accept chickens for payment, but many accept other livestock. The Chicken Calculator can not convert medical procedures to sheep, goats, pigs, ducks, cows, llamas, ostriches, etc. Check with your local livestock association for current exchange rates and providers.
Resources for doctors on managing their chicken farms are also provided. All in all truly one stop shopping for New Lowden Economics.
