What an astoundingly well reported story! Kim Priestap at (Cheez)WizBang reports that Barack Obama is buying Michelle one massive, honking, studded with diamonds, and made of freakin rhodium, $30,000 ring as a little “winky, winky” thank you for being there for him the last two years. And then, to prove her point, links to a sight that says he’s NOT buying her one! A little internets research (courtesy of Sadly No!) says this is about as true as the lobster/champagne/Iranian caviar fiasco. As does this. Still, totally undeterred by “facts” she proceeds to chide him and suggest that:
instead of spending $30,000 on a ring, how about instead spending $15,000 on a ring. I’m sure there are some beautiful rings out there in the $15,000 price range that are suitable for his wife and that would adequately show his appreciation and love. Then he can take the other $15,000 and give it to a charity in Michelle’s name. I would recommend Operation Smile. For just $240, a child in a Third World nation can have the surgery needed to correct a cleft palate. With $15,000, 62 children can get the surgery that would give them a beautiful smile and a changed life.
And none of the commenters in any of the items referenced believe it’s not true either! I usually can think of something pithy, scathing and yet still witty :-) to sum up a situation but I am kind of out of words over this.
which doesn’t, um, exist. That we can see. As Marin Cogan recounts in the New Republic:
careful listeners would have noticed a recurring theme of anxiety: that Obama was going to use the newly acquired levers of government to destroy them. Specifically, conservative paranoia over the possible reinstatement of the “fairness doctrine,” a defunct policy requiring that broadcasters allow opposing points of view to be heard over the airwaves, has reached a fevered pitch. In September, George Will was warning his readers that, “unless McCain is president, the government will reinstate the ... ‘fairness doctrine.’” In October, The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page chimed in, predicting that under the spooky-sounding “liberal supermajority,” the fairness doctrine was “likely to be reimposed,” with the goal being “to shut down talk radio and other voices of political opposition.” And, two weeks before the election, the New York Post blasted: “Dems Get Set to Muzzle the Right.”
Then more fuel for the fire - On election day Sen. Chuck Schumer messed with their little minds on Faux News with this statement:
after Fox News host Bill Hemmer cornered him about the issue on the air. Schumer just smirked: “I think we should all try to be fair and balanced, don’t you?”
Holy Jeebus, the media have such a jones for Obama vs. Clinton drama-crack! I don’t think I’ve seen them do so little to overcome an addiction since they failed to quit OJ for nearly 15 years. As per usual, they ignore real stories in an effort to analyze Secretary of State-designate Hillary Clinton’s facial expressions with all the subtlety and perceptiveness of a PUMA divining the coming revolution from the color of a pantsuit.
For instance, I’ve seen precious little hoopla around this bit from Attorney General-designate Eric Holder during today’s national security presser:
Holder: It is incumbent upon those of us who lead the department to ensure not only that our nation is safe, but that ours laws and traditions are respected. There’s not a tension between those two. We can and we must ensure that the American people remain secure and that the great constitutional guarantees that define us as a nation are truly valued. For example, working with both Republicans and Democrats to structure policies that are protective and consistent with who we are as a nation.
[Rough transcript]
In other words, the executive power grabs, countenancing of torture in the name of security, Constitution-shredding and the inexcusable politicizing of the Department of Justice that were the shameful hallmark of George W. Bush’s DOJ operation will end on January 20.
I don’t expect the chorus of naysayers who are already prophesying doom to recognize the significance of Holder’s statement. And the mainstream media are too fixated on creating a Clinton hoohah to notice—even though what Holder said implied heaps of disdain upon the current administration, which is maybe kinda newsworthy. But it made me happy.
PS: If anyone is interested in the outcome of the Six Random Things thingie from last week, my answers (and list of prospective victims) are here.
Yuppie parents have been provided with a new tool to guide offspring earlier onto success path - DNA testing to predict which sports will best suit your kids’ talents! And, yes, I’m citing an article in the NYT but the story originated out of Boulder, CO. Why am I not surprised. Parental quote from the article:
“I could see how some people might think the test would pigeonhole your child into doing fewer sports or being exposed to fewer things, but I still think it’s good to match them with the right activity. I think it would prevent a lot of parental frustration.”
Because it is, of course, all about the parents.
Tweety in 2010? Apparently a Senate run is on his mind (as much as he can be said to have an actual “mind”. The kind that thinks. And listens.) So far I have not signed up to volunteer in the campaign.
If you wanna talk turkey today (gack!), you can do that here. I’ll leave this post stuck to the top o’ the blog for the rest of the day. I hope you all have a wonderful time today and thanks a bunch for making this such a great place to hang out. I’m honored to have so many smart, entertaining and damn funny folks indulging in the Rumproast. If my arms were long enough, I’d hug all of you right now. Best, K.
As best I can tell, the following is the approximate order in which homo-sapiens came to the land now called America (or parts of Canada.) Some stayed and made themselves at home, some didn’t:
2. The population that came over the land bridge, the ancestry of the people we now call Native Americans.
3. The Vikings, about 1,000 years ago (they apparently didn’t stay.)
I once spent a fairly long amount of time talking on the phone with Diana Ross. The conversation was mostly about internet-related stuff (someone referred her to me because she wanted advice on setting up an official web site) and she was really nice. On the other end of the musical spectrum, I’ve spoken twice on the phone with the very reclusive Don Van Vliet (aka Captain Beefheart). He was nice, too. (Bonus fact: one of them used the phrase “fuck with my chrome” during one of the phone calls. I’ll let you guess which one.)
I have been known to grab squeeze bottles of brown deli mustard out of the refrigerator and squirt the contents right into my mouth. I have done that a lot. Sue me. I love mustard. (Bonus fact: I hate mustard on burgers, though. And key lime pie.)
I was editor-in-chief and co-founder of a humor magazine in college called The Chunk. It was originally called The Monthly Chunk but we had a hard time staying on schedule due to our debilitating drug and alcohol problems. The National Lampoon, which was a mere shell of its former self at the time, was so pissed off about an article one of our writers penned about how their magazine wasn’t funny anymore that they took a stab at The Chunk in one of their issues. I can’t remember what they wrote about us (the magazine is buried in storage somewhere), but I do remember that it was horribly unfunny. (Bonus fact: still not funny.)
I hardly ever use the word “awesome.” It’s not that I hate the word or anything, it’s just that for some reason I never incorporate it into my conversations or my writing. I noticed it a few months ago and I guess this is as good a place as any to share that utterly useless fact. (Bonus fact: one of my favorite words is “unctuous,” but I hardly ever use that one either.)
I was held up at gunpoint only a few months after I moved to New York City in the early nineties. I was walking through a desolate part of Greenpoint, a Polish neighborhood in Brooklyn I was living in at the time, when I was “accosted” by the “perp.” I gave him all of the money I had on me (I think it was about 60 bucks) and he asked me for my wallet. I said to him, I shit you not, “I have my bank slips in there and I have to balance my checkbook.” For some insane reason he thought that was an okay excuse and after he told me to turn around and run in the other direction, I thought to myself, “If I was him, I’d shoot me now for saying something so idiotic.” When I got back to my apartment I told my roommate the story and proceeded to chug inordinate amounts of amaretto, which was unfortunately the only booze we had in the joint. (Bonus fact: chugging amaretto sucks nearly as much as getting mugged at gunpoint.)
A lot of folks justifiably loathe Rupert Holmes’ “Escape (The Pina Colada Song),” but I think his song “Him” just may be the most impenetrably awful song ever created. I don’t care how old Holmes is right now, but if he ever gets near me I’ll punch him really hard in the face for writing and performing that abomination. (Bonus fact: if Rupert is, in fact, dead, I’ll hunt down his ghost and punch that fucking thing in the face. That’s how much I hate that goddamn song.)
We went out for a few drinks last night with icebergwedge and missmira, the myiq2xu slayer. Got up at 6:15 this morning and seriously hated the world. Like really hated it. Dragged my sorry ass to the gym. Watched Morning Joe on the treadmill. Hawkface is still a dick. Mika got upset when they showed a close-up of Sarah Palin’s face because I guess that’s sexist. Running while watching Peggy Noonan made me queasy. Stopped running. Listened to the Sex Pistols’ Never Mind the Bollocks while I was lifting weights. Haven’t listened to that in a while and really enjoyed it. Some day I will be as buff as Sid Vicious. Went to the grocery store to buy ingredients for the stuffing we’re bringing to tomorrow’s Thanksgiving dinner. Found out from the cashier that I qualified to get a free turkey! Barack Obama is magical! After only two speeches he’s gotten the economy back on track. Things are so good that THEY’RE GIVING AWAY FREE TURKEYS! Take that, you whiny netroot killjoys! Errrmmmm. Okay… pull it back. I then had to lug a nearly 22 pound frozen turkey home along with the rest of the groceries. This made me cranky after some seriously deranged jubilation at the grocery checkout. Jammed the bird into the freezer. Poured myself a coffee. Started writing this. THE END.
So what did you do this morning?
BONUS: Since we’re introducing people to our pets, here’s my cat Hubcap. She doesn’t want anything to do with you…
Newest member of the family, a three month old (in early October) golden retriever, swimming the first time he sees water, and not a moment’s hesitation.
Remember the man who dreamed up Reagan’s economic policy on a cocktail napkin, the supply-side and trickle-down guru Liesure Suit Larry, who is now Chief Investment Officer of Laffer Investments?
Obama rolled out his economic team yesterday, and I thought, “Meh.” I don’t have no steenking PhD in economics from an elitist university and was in fact an English major at a state school with a top-tier football team, but I could do better in the “bold ideas” department. Even if I did have to Google “number zeros trillion” to determine the basis of my plan.
According to Bloomberg, the total tab for the government bailout is approaching the neighborhood of $7 trillion, which is a pretty goddamn swank neighborhood if you ask me. The population of the US is right around 300 million. So what if we told Citigroup, AIG, GM, Ford, et al, to fuck off and instead divided that $7 trillion amongst the citizenry? If I’ve got my zeros right, every man, woman and child would receive upwards of $23K.
Thanksgiving is right around the corner! Since November days in Colorado are usually mild and fine, the marindenver household roasts the turkey in the backyard on our big covered charcoal grill. This year I’m trying a dry brine with sea salt and fresh herbs. (Takes about the same time as a regular brine but less mess in the fridge so why not?) While cooking, we add a few coals to the fire about every half hour along with a branch from my sage bush for a nice herbal smokiness. Baste it at the same time with chicken stock and white wine. Also new on the table this year is an artichoke gratin. (Some of you will now know I read Martha Stewart.) Last year we tried miniature pumpkin baked alaskas for dessert but, although delicious, they were a little too rich after that big meal. So we’re going back to pies - apple and pumpkin. Rounding out the menu will be traditional bread stuffing, garlic mashers with pan gravy, homemade cranberry relish and I’m still thinking over the veggies. Open thread follows the jump.
...Big Black‘s Songs About Fucking. It worked. Perfectly.
I’m only posting this because yesterday’s music thread made me realize how much happier I am chatting about music these days than bloviating about politics. I need a break. After that grueling and seemingly endless election cycle we all just survived, I’d much rather talk about Pussy Galore and the Dead Kennedys than argue about the imagined motives, rumored cabinet picks and alleged unchange-iness of a president who isn’t going to take office for two more months.
