Movie Reviews

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Ding. Freedom. Dong. Opportunity.

I realize most people would rather let 2011 quietly slip into the mists of memory and get on with life, but you’ll pardon me for taking a hangin’s-too-good-for-it stance; it really was a bastard of a year. In the spirit of very much letting the door hit the old sash-wearing cretin in the ass on his way out, I humbly submit my choice for Worst Of the 2011 Best Ofs. I haven’t actually read any other 2011 Best Ofs, but I can’t imagine I’d find a worthy challenger if I did.

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Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/01/12 at 05:27 PM

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Gil’s Gulch (UPDATE: now with state-of-the-art “actually links to something” link!)


Hey, I just realized I can use this blogging software for something besides trying to feel better about myself by mocking others. I can also use it to point people in the direction of a thing I enjoyed, in the hopes that they too will enjoy it and then do something enjoyable for someone else, like in that movie “Play it, Forward,” which I guess was about basketball.

Atlas Shrugged Part I desperately wants to be a genuine Hollywood movie, just as badly as Christian filmmakers want to replicate the look, feel, and production values of their godless would-be peers/cultural enemies. It proves just as unsuccessful, yet Atlas Shrugged: Part I gets close enough for its efforts to be poignant, comic, and a little pathetic.

Read it more for the comments than the article. And speaking of skipping articles, a sample:

Me late to thread, me know, but Heche completely wrong.  By every metric - GNP, unemployment, median wages - US economy better off day before Pearl Harbor than it was day before stock market crash.  New Deal not only got us out of Depression, it also set stage for incredible prosperity that follow WWII, and anyone who claim otherwise willfully ignoring facts to play politics.

By the way, I just found out that Gonzo lives here in Hoboken, I assume because of the Chicken Emergency. You’d think the brochure’d make a bigger deal out of that, I mean, fuck Sinatra.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/08/11 at 11:28 PM

Categories: MoviesMovie ReviewsPoliticsNutters

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Thursday Morning Music & Movie Combo!

This week, I’ve seen two movies in their opening runs (well, at least in this backwater), which is about as rare as a full lunar eclipse on winter solstice. The first was True Grit, the Coen Brothers’ darker remake of the 1969 John Wayne classic. I can add nothing to Roy Edroso’s review here, which is spot on [SPOILERS AT LINK!].

Okay, I can add one thing: a link to Doughy Pantload’s thoughts on the same movie. It illustrates the vast chasm between the two reviewers’ states of evolution as effectively as the ape and space scenes in 2001: A Space Odyssey. (SPOILER: Pantload is the ape!)

So, onto the second film: The King’s Speech. Despite being an American and thoroughly devoted to the principles of egalitarianism, I’m sheepishly fascinated by the British royals. Well, up to the present Queen, anyway—the younger ones are so thoroughly celebritized that I don’t find them very interesting.

The modern leap into celebrity is at the core of the film, when King George VI, who was afflicted by a severe stammer, must overcome it as best he can to present himself well in the celebrity vehicle of the day: live radio.

It’s wonderfully acted: Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham Carter—what’s not to like? Also, it closes with what is, in my opinion, the most sublime piece of music ever produced by a human being: the first three and a half minutes or so of the second movement of Beethoven’s 7th Symphony:

I highly recommend both movies, which are the best I’ve seen all year. (And possibly the only films I’ve seen all year. I can’t remember. New Year’s resolution: See more movies in 2011!)

What are your picks for the best movies of 2010?

Posted by Betty Cracker on 12/30/10 at 10:01 AM

Categories: MoviesMovie ReviewsMusicPoliticsOur Stupid MediaYouTubidity

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Tomorrow’s Shorters, Today - At the Movies

Because I Love You Phillip Morris is based on the life of Steven Russell, we’ll be treated to non-reviews from the fReichtard Primitive Cerebral Ganglia Trust.

I don’t intend to don my HAZMAT suit and wade through the sewers any more than the people who write “Ewww, gross!” 5,000 times intend to see the movie. However, I can still write their shorters without looking. (Take that, Sadly, No!)

I am able to do so, because I’m psychic.

Kidding! I’m able to do so because fRighties are so predictable it is a wonder they don’t shoot themselves to alleviate the tedium. This makes figuring out what a fRighty is going to say before his brain cell warms up remarkably easy. Observe:

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Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 12/11/10 at 05:11 PM

Categories: LGBTMoviesMovie ReviewsPoliticsNutters

Sunday, May 09, 2010

“Iron Man II” Best Comic Book Adaptation Since “The Fountainhead”

  least, that’s what I’m reading at PJM and HotAir. [WARNING: These articles may contain spoilers.]

I haven’t seen the film yet, but I know the story…and I suspect that Ayn Rand would be appalled by Tony Stark’s trust-fund-baby lack of discipline and closet do-gooder streak. And between John Galt, Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark, I can’t help but notice that high-octane Objectivist/Libertarian fictional heroes generally tend to be wealthy, talented, narcissistic anarchists…like, say, Madonna, Bono and George Soros.

[UPDATE: Apparently, Science Fiction constitutes a good chunk of Libertarian literature, although all really good Science Fiction is inevitably Socialist, Utopian or Gay.]

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 05/09/10 at 05:46 PM

Categories: MoviesMovie ReviewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Two short, lazy-ass film reviews: one in theaters and one on DVD

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo:  I went last night.  I was tired, I drank half-price hot sake at a Japanese restaurant before going to the theater, the film was subtitled, it was two and a half hours long, and I stayed awake for the whole thing. That means it was, at the very least, a good film.

The Boat That Rocked: The Movie That Sucked.

What films have you seen lately? Leave short, lazy-ass reviews in the comments.

Posted by Kevin K. on 04/28/10 at 07:23 AM

Categories: MoviesMovie Reviews

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Oscar Night Open Thread of Euro-Sonic Dance-Mutation

For me, the Oscar Ceremonies are right up there with really crappy Eastern European trance bands who have an obsession for robot art and overwrought typefaces. But just because I have no soul doesn’t mean the rest of you can’t have a party!

Consider this your swag-filled VIP Roastatorium for winner picks, gossip, Red Carpet cattiness and Oscar Awards live-snarking. 

UPDATE: Here’s the official list of nominees by searchable category. Here’s a potentially-lethal drinking game. Don’t thank me—I live to serve.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 03/07/10 at 01:32 PM

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Best Movie Review of the Year

From Dave Weigel:

22) Bruno

Fun, but my favorite Sacha Baron Cohen character this year was Orly Taitz.

Posted by Kevin K. on 12/30/09 at 06:43 AM

Categories: Knee SlappersMoviesMovie Reviews

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Best Films of the Decade?

The Royal Tenenbaums
The Royal Tenenbaums

I’m a sucker for lists, so I’ve been enjoying checking out all of the best-of-the-decade tallies surfacing this month, particularly the ones pertaining to films and albums. In a desperate attempt to get us talking about something—anything—besides health care reform or the magnitude of Obama and the Dems’ suckitude, I wanted to open the floor to a discussion about your favorite films of the decade. I may offer something more substantial by the end of the year, but for starters I’m going to post a rough scratch list of the ones I considered to be the best.  The first five listed are probably, well, my top five (The Royal Tenenbaums being my current #1) and the rest are an unordered list of some of the films that I really enjoyed from 2000 until now.  I compiled this pretty quickly, so I’m sure there are some glaring omissions, but hopefully you can help me pinpoint a few of those in the comments. Please list as many films as you want in the down below and feel free to order it as you like, add commentary, etc.

The Royal Tenenbaums
Punch-Drunk Love
Waltz with Bashir
Children Of Men

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Posted by Kevin K. on 12/10/09 at 06:35 PM

Categories: MoviesMovie Reviews

Monday, June 15, 2009

Prereview: The Taking of Pelham 123

Note: I have not actually seen this film. My review is based on having seen a commercial for it during last night’s TV broadcast of Joseph Sargent’s 1974 original, a passing familiarity with the careers of director Tony Scott and lead actors Denzel Washington and John Travolta, and uh… there was a third thing, what was it? Oh yeah everything Hollywood’s done for the past twenty years. Spoilers for the original film, and I’d bet anything spoilers for the new one, should you choose to read on, a course of action which I am by no means recommending.

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Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 06/15/09 at 12:09 PM

Categories: MoviesMovie ReviewsNew York CityTelevision

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I saw “Star Trek” last night!

This was my favorite part…

Seriously, who’s seen it and what did you think? I’m not a Trekkie but I thought it was good fun. Not quite the extraordinary cinematic achievement the endlessly great reviews and ecstatic personal endorsements are making it out to be, but a pretty solid and enjoyable ride.

Oh, one other thing, fuck Wolverine. Hard.

Posted by Kevin K. on 05/13/09 at 10:16 AM

Categories: MoviesMovie ReviewsMusicMusic Videos

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Waltz with Bashir: The Best War Movie Ever?

A clip from Waltz with Bashir

I finally saw Waltz with Bashir yesterday. Hands down the best film of ‘08 and one of the best I’ve seen in years.  I used to think The Thin Red Line was the most beautiful war movie I’d ever see and I was dead wrong.  And I’ve always had a hard time picking my favorite film about war, but not anymore.  Bashir is a stunning cinematic achievement that masterfully captures the devastation, confusion, insanity, and cruelty of warfare in ways that no film has attempted or achieved before.  Highly recommended.

MORE: Feel free to list your favorite war films in the comments.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/12/09 at 08:51 AM

Categories: MoviesMovie ReviewsYouTubidity

Thursday, January 08, 2009

I don’t know what’s a worse idea…

...comparing PUMAs to persecuted Jews or getting Debbie Schlussel to write for Big Hollywood.


Posted by Kevin K. on 01/08/09 at 04:01 PM

Categories: MoviesMovie NewsMovie ReviewsPoliticsNuttersPoliblogsPUMAs

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Things that are absolute certainties #247

We saw The Wrestler today (yes, Mickey Rourke is every bit as good in it as everyone is saying) so it is an absolute certainty that I will be driving my lovely wife Chris insane for the next week or so by regurgitating the line “I’m just an old broken-down piece of meat” ad nauseam.

Posted by Kevin K. on 12/20/08 at 08:26 PM

Categories: MoviesMovie Reviews

Friday, November 07, 2008

Set Your DVRs: “Boogie Man” on PBS on Tuesday

Boogie Man: The Lee Atwater Story, which I reviewed last month, will air this Tuesday on PBS’s FRONTLINE. It’s a great documentary.  Make sure you check it out.

Posted by Kevin K. on 11/07/08 at 06:03 PM

Categories: MoviesMovie ReviewsPoliticsNuttersTelevision

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