The Undefeated leaps from 10 theaters to 14 in its inexorable juggernaut course to becoming the most incrementally rolled-out summer blockbuster feel-good sleeper art-house niche-market celluloid experience since My Dinner with Batman and Aguirre, The Wrath of Khan.
Several of the opening day markets got the ax for lousy per-screen numbers that were harshing the average. Dallas, Houston, Denver and Orange stay. Phoenix and Atlanta get overflow screens. Second weekend adds Tucson, AZ; West Palm, FL; Milwaukee, WI; Charlotte, NC; and Ontario, CA. By all accounts, only America’s appalling lack of unused movie screens is holding back the latent breakout potential of this powerhouse film THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING, YOU SNIVELLING LIBTARDS!
Question: What’s the Venn Diagram analysis of Sarah Fans and Atlas Fans? Total overlap, or does she have a broader base? And, if so, will her film have a more devastating impact on Christmas than Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?
[UPDATE:] Looks like The Undefeated will pull better than Atlas Shrugged for the full weekend, so I think we’re officially talking a Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla take in terms of total North American sales, rather than SCCTM. Cultural-impact-wise, I think we’re still well south of Death Race 2000, which is right where we want it to be.
She’s unconventional. She does things her own way. She doesn’t ask directions. She’s never read the Owner’s Manual. And, dammit, she’s so gosh-darn badass that if she blows a tire on the tour bus, she’ll wrap Chuck Norris around the rim and drive on him till he screams “Akirameru!” and explodes in a shower of Chuck-Norris-shaped hunks of rubber and nylon.
Today, her stealth campaign for President begins in earnest — for the umpteenth time — with the ten-city opening of The Undefeated, an independent film that promises to be the Atlas Shrugged: Part I of independent films about boring stuff other than railroads and greed, but with just as many interminable talky parts.
This is why I never go out to the movies anymore. Some loud asshole always talks overs the credits, yakking about how God gave us “land mass” and “work ethics” and good old Judeo-Christian Exceptionalism. You used to have to go to the Bus Station to hear that shit, but now they’re everywhere.
Those attending the premiere of 1/2 Gov. Snowflake’s cinematic hagiography at the Corn Syrup Dispensary in Pella tonight could be forgiven for “spending a penny” or two, if not from desperation as the film reached the ninety minute mark with no sign of wrapping up, then from anticipation of The Malign Sarah’s after-film remarks: where better for her to make The Announcement!
Well folks, THAT was your clue. She is definitely running for the Presidency. You don’t tell your grassroots people to go pound shoeleather, thank them for helping Bannon put on a nice production and organize for the Iowa Caucuses, then turn around and say, “.....NAAAAAAAH, I’M HAVING MY PERIOD”.
Stephen K. Bannon loves the film he made about Sarah Palin. Sean Hannity loves the film Stephen K. Bannon made about his fellow Fox employee, Sarah Palin. Both of them barely escape devastating bukkake-inflicted facial injuries in this steamy exchange of hot Grizzly love.
Thanks to Betty Cracker and Dan Riehl for making Sarah-fapping the most exciting development in big-screen film enjoyment since the false-bottom popcorn bag.
A new genre is born: Political fap film. Deranged wingnut blowhard Dan Riehl watches the new Palin hagiography, The Undefeated (and yes, thatwas the actual promo graphic!), over and over and over and over:
From my first viewing of a rough cut of “The Undefeated” over a week ago, to re-visiting the opening four times now…
Riehl gives the film four starbursts…literally, I’m afraid.
I’m damn glad I’m not the poor sap who has to wipe down the upholstery between screenings. Ewww.
With its rivers, overlooks, funiculars, architecturally-distinctive ethnic neighborhoods and miniature-megalopolis skyline, Pittsburgh gets routinely tapped to serve as the cinematic stunt-double for other, more expensive locations. So it’s not totally surprising — but still kind of geeky-cool — that Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises will be filming some sequences here. We won’t be subbing for Gotham, but it’s satisfying enough just to be considered sufficiently strange to fit into Nolan’s idiosyncratic visual universe:
Pittsburgh is an old, oft-misrepresented, and deeply weird city. With its streets that twist about and dead-end without warning, the city’s organizing principle is nonsense. You don’t vacation in Pittsburgh unless you have family or friends there, and even then you need every breadcrumb trail at your disposal to navigate in the post-industrial cacophony of ethnicities and aesthetics.