August 28th was a day like any other, filled with those events that alter and illuminate our lives—as long as you weren’t at some tentless chafing-dishless revival in Washington DC!
For instance, there I was that afternoon, checking out my friendly neighborhood Burlington Coat Mosque, and could it be? Were my eyes lying? No, there IT was: PICKLE!
Heh. Under the headline “Taking Over the Streets?” Derbyshire at NRO publishes photos from an email fan which the writer avers are “an accurate picture of every Friday afternoon in several locations throughout New York City where there are mosques with a large number of Muslims that cannot fit into the mosque.” Rather than verify the images up-front, he milks their Wholly Speculative Outrage Content, then leaves it to his readers to do his journalism for him:
If this kind of obstruction of roads and sidewalks is really going on in Nurse Bloomberg’s city — where a restaurateur can get a four-digit fine for placing a chair on the sidewalk without the proper permit — it’s a disgrace. But give me the facts, someone, please.
Eat Pray Swim: Jabir heard about Park 51, or the Mosque, or the Cordoba Center, or Jihadi’s Playhouse, from the news stories about it, and he’s looking forward to the cooking school.
Another interview from the rally against the Not The Ground Zero Mosque.
When asked about Salman Hamdani, the Muslim police cadet/ EMT who died at Ground Zero trying to save lives, and whether his mother deserved a place near Ground Zero to pray for her son, the answer to the guy on the left is plain: NO!
Manning the barricades at the (not)Ground Zero Rally, was an Indian gentleman wearing a Gandhi T-shirt. I found him arguing heatedly with a couple of young men, also from the great subcontinent, who, after this encounter, turned to me and said, “I hope you’re putting this up on YouTube.” Your servant, guys!
Bottom line: This was your Joe-Basic Tea Party rally, minus most of the Gadsden flags and plus EXTRA anger and different costumery. It was, shall we say, intimate; there were fewer people, it seemed, than the last Tea Party rally in Manhattan, and that one didn’t fill up the space allotted it, either. The rain was only sporadic until after Pamela Gellar’s Mosquetastic Hyster-0-Rama exploitation fantasy concluded, so the unimpressive crowd can’t be blamed on that.
They will of course say something about this footage. And if you think it will be “Oh my God, I’m so ashamed that I ever had anything to do with these people,” you have not been paying attention.
So, in the interest of saving time, here are 13 pre-shorters of the shit the fRighties will fling over the next few days.
They are both 100% the product of my imagination and 100% accurate:
1. The fact that this gentleman denied he’s a Muslim when no one asked if he was a Muslim proves he’s a Muslim.
2. Saaay, what’s a brown guy doing in New York City, anyway?
3. It’s a shame the Muslims insist on inciting ReaLAMEricans to attack random brown people who probably don’t deserve it.
4. Once again the Democrat-controlled LameStreamMedia seeks to stifle our rights by not editing out the bits of this tape we don’t want people to see.
5. I didn’t watch the film but based on what a friend told me about it liberals are once again making a big deal about nothing.
6. It’s obvious the one or two people who appear to be misbehaving, and the man they appear to be harassing are all liberal moles.
7. Dear Brown People: We’re angry and upset so you’ll have to stay indoors until we calm down. P.S. We’re not racist.
8. I felt sorry for the man until he used the “F” word. He’s lucky he wasn’t killed by those brave patriots.
9. What did he expect? He’s brown and wearing a weird hat.
10. Check his counter tops!!
11. For all the protesters knew the guy was lying when he said he isn’t Muslim, so it was their duty to go after him.
12. Once upon a time the Democratic party was full of racists so the stuff that happens in this tape doesn’t count.
13. LOL, libtards are sooooo sensitive. They should sack up like us manly studs on the right. P.S. Stop the Ground 0 911 Mosque, it hurts my feewings.1 Mosque, it hurts my feewings.
I’m convinced this mosque was Obama’s idea. The notion of it and its location. I think he knows he’ll be a one-term president and wants as much destruction to the American psyche as possible. The legacy this man is now establishing is a continuation of the terrorism unleashed in the 90s and defined by 9/11.
We will never forget—what sells!
At the end of Part One, we were trembling at the brink of a discovery: down a side street, but a mere two shabbily picturesque city blocks away from the northern perimeter of the future 16 acre complex of memorials, waterfalls, museums, office buildings, retail shops, and restaurants currently still known as “Ground Zero.”
Look! There in the crepuscularity of this avenue of sorrow, the perfidious zealots have already declared their devotion to the One True Way by putting up a sign!!
There was really no good reason to marry an image of the WTC collapse to a headline teasing rumors that Cordoba Center planners are considering an alternative site…except that pics like this are Forbidden Wingnut Porn, and Matt’s nursing a ten-year-old case of blue-balls.
Aiieee! What’s that at Ground Zero? A MINARET? ALREADY??
No, no, the Mooslins haven’t moved in yet. But now that the Tundra Torquemadam has got her polar panties in a knot over the groundless rumor of the Ground! Zero! Mosque! I thought it time to actually show the hopelessly daft Grand Inquisitrix some irrefudiable features of my ‘hood, which she and her followers are honoring by trying to turn a generous swath of lower Manhattan into Joseph McCarthy’s Tribute Morgue.
Here we are, starting directly across from Ground Zero, praying without ceasing, as it is said that each time somebody licks all the way around a bonnet cone, an angel gets a brain-freeze.
The fRighties are so excited by the thought of giving beej to make the Baby Muhammad cry that even Glenn Beck - undisputed ruler of Wingnutistan - is making jokes about the 9/11 attacks (via L, G & $):
GUTFELD: But I have a lot of people that are interested in backing me for this [Despite the fact that they’ll have serious and well established competition in the area - ed.]. And I’m telling you, this is the greatest thing ever, because right now, I contacted the Cordoba House. I wrote them. I e-mailed them. They didn’t respond [Shocking! - ed.]. But I tweeted them and they tweeted me back.
BECK: And what did they say?
GUTFELD: They said, “You are free to open whatever you like. If you won’t consider the sensibilities of Muslims, you are not going to build dialogue.”
BECK: Oh.
GUTFELD: Yes. And you know I love to build dialogue.
BECK: Sure. Especially—you do that at Grind Zeros.
As you know, the site of the 9/11 attack in NYC is the second most sacred place in the world to fRighties. (At #1 - Where ever it is they think George Washington received the holy giant weeping eagle from Jesus’ own nail pierced hands). However, the thought of annoying the imaginary Muslim under his bed with hot ManSecks has Glenn so excited that even he forgets to symbolically dry-hump the corpses of 9/11 victims.
Something called Greg Gutfeld had an idea that gave me an idea that will make me filthy stinking rich.
His idea: Open a gay bar next to Cordoba House because it will give straight Muslims hives. Or something (via alicublog):
I’m announcing tonight, that I am planning to build and open the first gay bar that caters not only to the west, but also Islamic gay men. To best express my sincere desire for dialogue, the bar will be situated next to the mosque Park51, in an available commercial space.
This is not a joke. I’ve already spoken to a number of investors, who have pledged their support in this bipartisan bid for understanding and tolerance.
He’s apparently put some thought into this (for a given value of thought). But he didn’t go far enough.
I ask you, what two things do male fReichtards love?
That’s right. They love to think they annoy Muslims, and they love free range cock. And when I say the average male fReichtard is a big ol’ bottom, I’m not talking about how far his ass cheeks hang over the sides of his chair. My idea is to combine these two commonsense conservative loves so reaLAMErican men can stick it to the Muslims, while at the same time having it stuck to them by hot Middle-Eastern studs.
Or at least guys of a hue fRighties associate with Muslims. It’s not like the client will ask for credentials. (Note to self: Set up focus groups, STAT. Also, check Costco for “prayer rugs.”)
Just think of it! Now extramarital sex with someone of the same gender will become the act of a Brave Patriot. When the wife or the kids or the members of the congregation complain, my clients will be able to look them in the eye and say: “Listen you freedom hating terrorist coddlers, every time I give a guy a blow job, it’s like stabbing Osama Bin Laden right in the heart! What have you done to defend America today? Huh?”
I know, even I was stunned by my brilliance. Anyhoo, I’ll try to keep blogging after I become a multi-gazillioniare but if you don’t hear from me for a while I’m at my house in Marseille. Or Sanibel. Or the ranch near Casper ...
