New York City

Sunday, January 12, 2014

FUHGEDDABOUDIT!

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I was born, raised and have lived most of my life next door to New Jersey.  And when I say “next door”  I mean two miles from the border.  I worked in New Jersey for many, many years.  When I tell you that Jersey is “different,” you can trust me.  And it was “different” for decades before The Sopranos created an indelible and enduring image for a state that most Americans couldn’t find on the map without help.

When I was growing up, on the edges of Philadelphia, people talked about so-and-so being “connected.”  That one word, applied to an acquaintance, a relative, a co-worker—whoever—produced instant shock and awe.  It meant that the person referred to had serious juice and was completely hands-off.  A connected guy could snatch your grannie’s purse or set the neighbor’s cat on fire, for an audience in broad daylight, but nobody, including the cop on the beat, would ever see a thing.

Being “connected” didn’t necessarily mean that you were a mob princeling or even a “wise guy” but it meant you did business with such people on a regular basis and that smart people would stay out of your way.

And it wasn’t all fear and loathing, either.  Connected guys were often heroes in their neighborhoods because they could make the seemingly impossible happen.  Troubles with the zoning board?  need a traffic light on your street?  need a loan that no bank will give you?  connected guys help out the little people and the little people don’t forget.  And the world goes round . . .

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Posted by Bette Noir on 01/12/14 at 02:07 PM
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Categories: New York CityBrooklynPoliticsElection '16

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

The Highway’s Jammed by Right Wing Zeroes on a Fat Chance Power Trip

I’ve written quite a bit about New Jersey governor Chris Christie, aka the Hudson Harkonnen, America’s cafone, and Phony Soprano.  The latest Chris Christie news is a rapidly ballooning scandal, the closure of lanes on the George Washington Bridge by Christie Administration Port Authority apointees which caused major traffic snarls, seemingly to punish the Democratic mayor of Fort Lee, who didn’t endorse him in his gubernatorial race.  Predictably, Christie is blaming an underling for this d-baggery.  Christie is just the sort of vindictive creep who’d place the lives of ordinary people at risk (the lane closures have been implicated in the death of a woman due to a delay in the arrival of medical help) to “punish” an “enemy”. 

To tell the truth, Christie’s handling of Port Authority matters has been awful from the beginning of his tenure as governor, when he put the kibosh on a Hudson River rail crossing that would have been funded by the federal government.  Even when he’s not motivated by spite, the guy is an utter disaster.

I wonder if, had Christie’s incompetent-at-best and depraved-at-worst Port Authority hires been exposed in November, the jerk would have won the gubernatorial election.  By making people’s commutes longer and more tedious, his administration hit people “where they live”.  I don’t believe that even the most rabid GOPer would countenance a policy which directly harmed him… not only “those people” were affected by these traffic snarls.

Got buyers’ remorse, Jerseyites?

Cross posted at my eponymous blog.

Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 01/08/14 at 11:44 PM
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Categories: New York CityPoliticsNuttersTeabaggery

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Trump U Does Have a Certain Ring, No?

It looks like The Donald is being The Sued over a kind of “get-rich eventually” program that he was kindly enough calling a school.  Trump is of the opinion that this suit against him is politically motivated, because…hm.  He could be a somebody. He could be a contender. Instead of a bum, which is what everyone who notices that he is a bum makes of him on teh internets. But let’s hear what he has to say:

“....”

Oh. Wait. What does his spokesperson have to say?

“The attorney general has been angry because he felt that Mr. Trump and his various companies should have done much more for him in terms of fundraising,” Cohen said. “This entire investigation is politically motivated and it is a tremendous waste of taxpayers’ money.”

State Board of Elections records show Trump has spent more than $136,000 on New York campaigns since 2010. He contributed $12,500 to Schneiderman in October 2010, when Schneiderman was running for attorney general, records show. An outspoken conservative, Trump himself flirted with a presidential run last year.

“Donald Trump will not sit back and be extorted by anyone, including the attorney general,” Cohen said.

I am astonished that wealthy people in America donate to campaigns ever, or are concerned that their money bought them influence. Why do they even bother? It’s nonsense, is what it is. Clearly, extortion is that thing of when, you thought you bought protection, but oh no, You “bought” people who bring legal cases against things you might have done that were illegal like it was their job.  Huh. Maybe attorney generals are not good investments if you are running a “get rich eventually” scheme.” Also not a good investment? The word “University”.  Don’t bother copyrighting that one, you shan’t use it legally.

What I’m saying is, once (as in not) and future (as in not) Presidential Candidate Donald Trump is kind of a grifter. As in duh. But I bet he is still popular with the sort who likes his kind of…

Oh what the fuck—remember Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous?  (It was MTV Cribs for ‘80’s celebrities.) That’s all of his appeal. Otherwise seriously. Ask him about anything. Besides whether any politician is a legit citizen. And let the derp ensue. (Not that I think he won’t be faux elevated in the press again, because I do—which is why I point out his “duh”.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 08/24/13 at 09:57 PM
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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The Commander in Chief Does Not Get a Mulligan

Charlie Pierce has a great piece up detailing the efforts of the right to use the opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library as an occasion to give Dubya a mulligan on 9/11 by repeating the mantra that “he kept us safe” afterwards.

Thus do we confront what we can call The Great Mulligan, which is granted by the dimmer lights in the chandelier to the president and to the national security team — Hi, Condi! — who presided over the most massive intelligence failure in American history, and over the greatest loss of life to an enemy attack on American soil since everybody hugged it out at Appomattox. This has popped up from time to time in the years since it became obvious what a complete and utter failure the Bush presidency really was. Sorry we lied you into a war, but we kept you safe. Sorry we demolished American values, and just about every shred of American moral credibility in the world, but we kept you safe. Sorry we let New Orleans drown, but we kept you safe. Sorry we allowed the national economy to blow up, but we kept you safe. In fact, if you sent C-Plus Augustus into his own museum, and had him take that interactive quiz, and provided he didn’t break a thumb trying to get a Diet Coke out of the exhibit, his answer to everything would be I kept you safe.

Go read the rest.  You’ll be glad you did.

Posted by marindenver on 04/24/13 at 03:30 PM
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Categories: New York CityManhattanPoliticsBushCoEditorialsWar In Error

Monday, January 02, 2012

Helter Geller

Malevolent Cocktail

Hate-spewing Coelecanth and Anders Behring Breivik muse, Pamela “Aynist” Geller, is simply beside herself since WordPress shut down the vile anti-Muslim hate site Bare Naked Islam. Pam is ready to sue for the freedom of BNI commenters to urge , as quoted by CAIR via TPM, ““What’s all this pussy-footing??? Throw 10 Molotov cocktails into these mosques and burn them down even with a**-lifters in them, especially with a**-lifters in them.”

By curious happenstance, 2012 began with a series of four terrorist firebombings in Queens last night. Molotov cocktails, at least three of which utilized Starbucks frappucino bottles, were thrown at mostly Muslim targets: a bodega, a prominant mosque and Islamic Center, a private home, and a house which was known to host Hindu services, which of course we all know are just Islam in paisley camo. 

Would I dare to suggest that last night’s anti-Muslim terrorist firebombings were in any way connected with Pam Geller’s incessant anti-Muslim agitation? Oh heavens, no! Any more than she would suggest that Anders Breivik’s victims were too brown to be considered real Norwe——oh, oops! Inapt simile. Any more than Free Republic would assume that Los Angeles Firebomber Samuel Arrington was Mus——

——Well, Hell’s Bells. Only 363 or so days until New Year’s! New beginnings, and all that. I can hardly wait.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/02/12 at 04:48 PM
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Categories: ImagesNew York CityNewsPoliticsNuttersRelijun

Monday, October 31, 2011

Blowhole Awareness

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Some anti-seagoing mammalist has stickered most of lower Manhattan with these. Just one of the many things you didn’t think you had to worry about, but if you like paddling about with large gray rubbery bottlenosed mammals, don’t say you weren’t warned!

Either that or it’s just another NYC company trying to sell you T-shirts suitable for that upcoming Thrash concert. They may be unwittingly doing dolphins a favor, even while slandering them: wild dolphins are beginning to turn tail and flee after the umpteen bazillionth encounter with starry-eyed Flipper fanatics.

In any case, I ain’t swimmin’ with ‘em again. Not after that time in ‘96. But I can’t say any more; I accepted a lot of herring to keep my mouth shut.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/31/11 at 08:22 AM
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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Jesse Jackson PreOccupies the NYPD

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Can’t say the Rev. doesn’t still have It. The NYPD decides that midnight is an excellent time to take down the Occupy Wall Street medical tent, protesters link arms around it, an unpleasant tenseness envelops all concerned, and PRESTO, there’s Jesse Jackson, right there, linking arms like the old pro he is. All livestreamed, of course. And, God bless’em, up on YouTube, instantly. Cops confer, disperse. Elated bwa-ha-has and empowered discovery by young lady: we can do stuff!

Imagine the despair of the lieutenant or inspector who thought, “we told those @#^&!s no structures, and THAT’S A STRUCTURE!” only to find himself face to face with the very Reverend Mr. Big Stuff, fresh from the unveiling of the statue of HIS FRIEND Martin Luther King, on the Mall in DC, yesterday. And he pops up here.  At midnight. Instantly.

Now the loo, or D.I., whoever is stuffing that white shirt, as the kids call him, is looking like a dick.* A failed dick. But the Rev. Jackson, with whom we’ve had our problems from time to time, is definitely smelling like a rose.

Maybe they should try to get him into one of those matador costumes.

*Moving in on the medical tent? At midnight? Any argument that it wasn’t a dick move will be met with vociferous disagreement and last night’s gnocchi, which were a little heavy but make pretty good missiles. Hey, I didn’t take a vow of non-violence.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/18/11 at 12:19 AM
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Friday, October 14, 2011

Wallstock Saved! National Lawyers Guild Observer’s Toes—Not So Much

Cool Fuzzies
It was looking like it might turn ugly down at Zucotti/Liberty Park . Last night, Mayor Bloomberg and colorful tough-guy mayoral hopeful Commissioner Kelly  had seemingly acceded to Brookfield Properties’ silkily disingenuous plea to be allowed to power-wash the park and save these DHFs from possible electrocution by the underground lighting system:

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Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/14/11 at 06:30 PM
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Categories: New York CityNewsPolitics

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Wallstock! Gallery: Foley Square

Yes, a great upheaval has been upheaving right practically on the Polly metaphorical doorstep~a huge improvement from what happened on my actual doorstep every Saturday night when I lived in the Village~but any old hoo, here are pictures of it! I’ll be posting them in dribs and drabs as I recover from the clouds of earnestness that roll over Zucotti Park every time I go. All the manifold possibility in the air, the bright eyes of the idealistic youths~they so sap a snarky person’s energies.

Impure and hardened individual that I am, I’ve tried to compensate for my aversion to chanting “hey hey ho ho” by taking the kids clean socks and spare umbrellas. I don’t know if I’m warming Libertarian toes or sheltering Anarchists, but how else can one little Obot co-opt this burgeoning movement?
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Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/11/11 at 03:25 PM
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Monday, October 10, 2011

Wallstock! Protected by Superheroes

Stay, Superhero, Stay

His powers of New York crowd-worming were unequaled, and I almost lost him at the October 5 rally. Pausing only to high-five small ecstatic children, he nearly ditched me, but thanks to the NYPD and their crowd-control driftnets, I finally drew even with him.

Pardon Me, Officer, But Are Anti-Gravity Heel Propulsion Devices permitted within city limits?

“Oh, Captain America, I’m so honored to meet you!” I trilled.

He turned. “I’m the King of America,” he informed me. “Oh, pardon me!” I said. “Would you mind describing your monarchy?”

“I’d love to stay and chat, but unfortunately, I’m on a mission right now,” he said apologetically. And with that, and before I could get a picture of him from the front, he melted into the masses, but I just knew I’d see him again. And sure enough, here he is on YouTube, along with his pal, WhateverMan.

Oh there is more to tell, Roasters, so much more. And I’ve oodles of photos to post, which I will, I promise, as soon as I recuperate from the ennervating effects of all that earnestness. And having a food cart roll over my foot. No damage, but a nice Viet Nam vet who was sitting on the sidelines with his 9/11 pamphlets and all told me I was likely to get gangrene, so until tomorrow I’ll be icing my toes. I have to speak to the King of America about this!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/10/11 at 10:52 PM
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Thursday, October 06, 2011

Makes me want to bust out my Sharpies and posterboard…

Great video on the Occupy Wall Street movement from DC Douglas:

Contrast this with Koch-funded Tea Party movement, which features angry old farts deploying lawn chairs in the town square to listen to a bunch of corporate crooks in Colonial dress railing against historically low tax rates. And yet if you rely on the media for information, the Tea Party is the grassiest-rooted, most important, significant political development in the history of the planet, and the Occupy Wall Street movement is just a bunch of smelly, unemployed hippies.

Is the media FAIL due to laziness? Fear of being labeled a (heaven forbid!) “liberal”? Marching orders from the giant media conglomerates that own the system? I’m not sure.

[H/T: Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/06/11 at 07:32 AM
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Categories: New York CityNewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaYouTubidity

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Live From WallStock! NYPD Driftnets Scoop Up A NYT Reporter

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      Blurry Pollys-eye view of the NYPD Going Hippie-Hunting

Our tough-talking police commissioner, Raymond Kelly, when he isn’t aiming his fire at enemy aircraft, has a devil-may-care attitude where jury-awarded compensation is concerned, and a distinct fondness for orange construction netting, as New York Times reporter Natasha Lennard discovered today when she became the dolphin in a bridgeful of penned-in protesters.

It’s been mighty exciting these past two weeks here at the Polly digs in lower Manhattan, but being able to witness the expression of free speech being quashed from our very own balcony is the sort of fantasy a girl can hardly believe could ever be fulfilled, and yet it happened!

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Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/01/11 at 08:13 PM
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Categories: ImagesNew York CityBrooklynManhattanNewsSkull Hampers

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Where The Lights Begin

sept 11 and thereabouts 210

I live a few blocks from Ground Zero, or as I’d like to think it will be known someday, One World Plaza. Last year, seeing the twin blue beacons, those elegant, quiet expressions of loss amd remembrance, I decided to follow them to their source.

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Posted by Mrs. Polly on 09/11/11 at 08:23 PM
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Sunday, July 24, 2011

It BEGINS: New York Same-Sex Couples Attack Marriage With Marriage!

We 3 New York At Last

While we’re waiting under the Heat Dome for international markets to tank, at last some news to gladden the heart—at least for those of us romantic multi-culti moonbats rooting for the destruction of society’s sacred institutions. Finally, same-sex couples are allowed to marry in New York.

At a minute past midnight, weddings took place all across the state, including the wedding of activists Kitty Lambert and Cheryle Rudd in front of a rainbow-washed Niagra Falls. Just a few minutes ago, the New York City Marriage Bureau performed its first same-sex marriage for Phyllis and Connie, who are 75 and 85, and were radiant in blue.

At 150% humidity, it’s amazing how much joy the air was able to hold.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 07/24/11 at 07:37 AM
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Categories: ImagesLGBTNew York CityNews

Sunday, July 17, 2011

The last of the famous objectivist playboys

Some days the noise and the bullshit and the cowards who dwell in the WWW make me curse AlGore.

But then some genius lobs a little brilliance into the place and I hasten down to the temple of ClintonGoreSoros and set fire to another virgin.

Who is Objectivist Morrissey?
While steamingly out of my mind, I decided to write 24 posts in 24 hours at my regular blog. One of the posts involved some goofy speculation about a Bizarro-world Morrissey who is a devotee of Objectivism. I found the concept too amusing to give up, and the idea of a parallel universe in which The Smiths were forging Rearden Metal wouldn’t go away easily.

A sample:

Moocher, moocher I was only joking when I said,
I didn’t want you well and truly dead.
Moocher, moocher I was only joking when I said,
Your body shouldn’t be filled up with hot lead.

And now I know how Howard Roark felt,
Now I know how Howard Roark felt
As the flames rose, past his upturned nose
As he razed where the moochers now dwelt.

Brought to you by the fast and furiously funny Big Bad Bald Bastard.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 07/17/11 at 09:26 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersNew York City

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