That’s one for every state Mittens lost yesterday, or rather, very early today, to the little man in the tight-fitting conservatism. Congratulations, Rick Santorum, you’re this week’s NotMitt! You have now won more contests than the putative front-runner. Oh, he’ll still get the nomination in the end, with his deep pocketed PAC and their Hortastic negative advertising genius (and now you can probably expect a little more of that genius to be expended on you, you Washington insider you). But thanks are in order, Rick. You have not only won three states; you’ve underlined what the Democraps already know about the Republican electorate: Mitt Romney? Do.Not.Want.
Brian Beutler at TPM wonders if the GOP plans to follow Paul Ryan down the kill-Medicare rabbit hole again in an election year and concludes that yes, they do:
Why on earth would Republicans put the whole party back on the line? Particularly after a year of serial brinkmanship and overreach that has dragged their popularity down to record lows?
The answers speak as much to the hubris of this GOP majority as it does to the fact that the party’s in thrall to a movement that demands unyielding commitment to a platform of reducing taxes on high-income earners and rolling back popular, though expensive, federal support programs.
Ryan & Co. plan to coat the poison pill with saccharine-flavored provisions (inexplicably) contributed by Democratic Senator Ron Wyden, which were soundly rejected by Wyden’s fellow Democrats when the “bipartisan” agreement was announced a couple of months ago.
However, the sham “compromise” backed by Wyden puts the GOP in the unenviable position of having to explain subtleties to two different audiences with opposing agendas: It doesn’t accomplish the utter annihilation of Medicare the tea party extremists want since it contains a “public option” (no, really) that purports to preserve the program in its original form rather than leaving seniors entirely to the tender mercies of the private insurance industry.
But it does tie the cost of the “public option” version of Medicare to market permutations, which would almost certainly drive costs up for seniors, many of whom are Republicans. The devil is in the details, but it’s hard to see how this could actually save money without reducing benefits or raising costs.
As Beutler notes, Democrats are happy to have this debate again, especially in an election year. But should they be? Does Wyden’s participation provide a sufficient fig leaf for the “zombie-eyed granny starver”? I’m thinking not, though surely outfits like PolitiHack will do their utmost to muddy the waters.
Thanks to alert Balloon Juice commenter WereBear, I learned that Rush Limbaugh was possibly caught on film picking his snoot in Patriot owner Robert Kraft’s booth during last night’s Super Bowl. There is much speculation about it on the Google: Did he or didn’t he shove his finger knuckle-deep into his nostril in full view of all the swells in the skybox, including Steven Tyler?
Deadspin has a pretty definitive photo here. However, some wingnut site called the “Daily Rushbo” gives the clip the Zapruder treatment and concludes that no nose-picking occurred. Not content to rely on the analysis of someone daft enough to run a Limbaugh fan site, I used advanced digital still analysis techniques and found that the truth is far worse than the original rumor.
First, here’s the Deadspin still:
And here’s a detailed view of Limbaugh in mid-pick—the enhanced image clearly shows a viscous, green glob of mucus dangling from his index finger:
And a couple of frames later, the horrible truth is revealed: Not only did Limbaugh extract a slimy, revolting booger from his snout, he disposed of it by wiping it on the back of his host, Mr. Kraft.
Jesus, that’s disgusting. But it kind of puts the NFL ownership’s rejection of Limbaugh’s bid to join their little club in a new light, doesn’t it? It’s not that the owners were put off by Limbaugh’s constant race-baiting and misogyny; it’s just that he’s one crass motherfucker.
We may be the world’s sole remaining superpower, but there are still challengers to the throne, and whether it’s Cold War nostalgia or a decade of well-publicized moral compromise on our part, I for one find it comforting that the commies are the bad guys again. Makes it that much more likely that the bloodshed can be ended by a lone catchphrase-spouting musclehead. Okay, that’s definitely Cold War nostalgia.
Hey, so how’re Bill Keller and the rest of the “Hillary for Veep” morons feeling about all this? You guys really want Biden minding the tinderbox? Because I’m not sure if y’all are aware of this—it may have been mentioned in passing once or twice—but the man’s a bit of an oaf. It’s part of his charm, but, y’know, maybe not quite the personality trait you’re looking for in someone whose job is to stave off international conflagration. Hell, if he was Secretary of State we’d still be putting out the fires from his comically botched attempt to lie about our involvement in the assassinations of Iranian nuclear scientists. And I mean actual fires, like I can totally see Biden burning down the briefing room by accident while trying to distract the press corps with Zippo tricks.
Anyway, now comes the hard part: deciding what color to use for our Twitter backgrounds.
UPDATE: if you search for “Syrian bombardment” on Google Video, the sixth hit is this:
What was I saying about being a superpower?
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 02/06/12 at 12:41 PM
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“There are some things that you just can’t imagine happening in your life. This is one of them.”—Willard Mitt Romney
Here’s something Mitt may wish he left in Vegas: the clammy handshake and smoked-brass endorsement of a Quality Birtherloon Fiberglass Fun Figure who’s famous for the phrase “YOU’RE FIRED.”
The S.S. Grandiose, having sprung a leak too soon this morning, had little to say about the desertion of this particular rat.
UPDATE: The DNC press release about the Trump endorsement was simply the original Romney email, which, the DNC felt, spoke volumes just by itself.
But I thought it needed just one little detail adjusted:
Well, it wasn’t failure to launch, because Newt’s launched everything he can. Watch and wait with us, if you can bear the suspense. As usual, TPM has the goods, with their delightful interactive map.
Ooooh, I’m just on tenterhooks, aren’t you?
Update: Know what’s fun? Comparing the results with Betty’s map. So far, two might-as-well-be-Alabama counties are going for Newt, as per her prediction.
Hey, whatcha havin’ for breakfast? Ooh, an omelette, sounds delish. I’ve heard that making one of those requires certain sacrifices that could be considered controversial, so count yourself lucky that chickens haven’t established a religious organization that wields political sway out of accordance with its role in a pluralistic society, else you’d have to settle for a bowl of Chex.
U.S. Rep. Allen West of Florida rivals even Rep. Joe Walsh, R-Deadbeat Dad, in personal and political assholery. Having been booted out of the Army for a harsh interrogation incident in Iraq, West went on to win a House seat during the 2010 election.
Since then, he has consistently hit every wingnut pleasure center, comparing Democrats to Joseph Goebbels, styling himself a modern-day Harriet Tubman sent to lead African Americans off the liberal plantation and accusing President Obama of playing the race card while speculating that a prospective Democratic opponent “likes running against black guys.” Here’s Rep. West, R-Plantation (honest to god!), last night telling President Obama, Nancy Smash, et al, to “get the hell out of the United States of America.”
The teahadists eat that sort of thing up with a spoon, naturally. But the Florida GOP, which has a supermajority in the state legislature and is headed up by GOP Governor Rick “Voldemort” Scott, has undertaken a project to redraw the state’s districts—after being compelled to do so by votes on a ballot initiative in 2010. And it looks like Mr. West might be headed south.
Who would rob the nation of such a fiery demagogue? Wingnuts can’t pin this one on the Dems, who are pretty much powerless in Florida. But Colonel Mustard has a clue:
One of the rising stars of the Tea Party is about to be sacrificed by the Republican establishment in Florida, led by someone spinning for Mitt Romney.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
It was Will Weatherford in the Conservatory with a wrench! Well, the truth is, West was in some trouble with voters anyway. I don’t live in his district, but from what I understand, voting in a certified loon like West was something of an aberration for that area, and it’s possible they find West’s constant grandstanding a bit embarrassing.
Also, the state GOP had to be prepared to shed a few seats while still stacking the deck in their own favor. So, tough luck, West. The extent to which this develops into a Tea Party-Establishment flap is just warm, rich, savory gravy.
The Speaker didn’t disappoint as Congresswoman Giffords was helped to the podium to hand him her letter of resignation. Her friend and colleague Debbie Wasserman-Schultz also fought tears during the ceremony where she read Giffords’ farewell .
The country is learning, along with Giffords’ family, that recovery from brain injury is complex, and deficient in traditional happy endings, even for people who, like Gabby, have the best of care. Brain-injured soldiers are returning in great numbers from Iraq and Afghanistan, to whatever the VA can offer, but brain-injured civilians face enormous obstacles to getting the rehab they need to face what will inevitably be an altered life.
Followers of this blog know that our own StrangeAppar8us* is now a member of the community of TBI sufferers. There is a great deal that can be done to help them, and so I hope that Gabrielle Giffords might find a new purpose in speaking for the people who don’t have access to the care she did, because while TBI means confronting some sobering realities, there is no good reason for the brain-injured not to recover as much of their abilities as possible.
There is a book, Head Cases, which delineates some of the problems the brain-injured encounter, as well as presenting the stories of some brain-injured people, but I confess finding it too painful to continue reading. YMMV, I hope.
*I will be posting an update on Strange, and the progress of his fund, shortly.
President Obama will address income inequality (ouch, Mitt!), outsourcing (ouch, Mitt) and Congressional obstructionism, and outline an economic blueprint to which Mitch Daniels will then respond using his new, GOP-issued oligarch-friendly talking points.
Streaming.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Drinking games are just not as much fun since excerpts of both the speech and response are in pre-release, but here’s one anyway.
May be semi-live-blogged by yr. semi-live Mrs. Polly, but feel free to take the reins from my bloodless fingers.
Above: an impassioned, well-reasoned plea on behalf of bodily integrity, but not the skanky kind
(RRNN)—Kentucky Senator Rand Paul, son of Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul and recurring Kids in the Hall character Kevin McDonald was born to play, was detained by the TSA this morning after setting off a full-body scanner and subsequently refusing a pat-down. Guess where he was going at the time! Go on, take a stab.
Yeah, of course it was a March for Life rally, I should’ve made that one harder, huh?
So to clarify, a little over-the-pants groping: Demeaning and invasive. Federal intrusion into a woman’s decision-making vis-a-vis her reproductive system: Not only acceptable but necessary. I had a high school girlfriend whose Irish Catholic mother espoused roughly the same philosophy, but that’s neither here nor there.
Before things get too heated around the issue, I propose a solution in the spirit of exemptions to anti-abortion statutes: Rand Paul should never have to submit to pat-downs by family members or convicted sex offenders. In all other circumstances, I’m sure Agent McFeely will do his best to give you a “speedy delivery” through the line, Senator!
I can’t imagine why you don’t come to me with all your problems, America. I am Mr. Sensible Compromise over here.
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Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/23/12 at 04:39 PM
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(opening credits: a static photo of Chuck Todd’s head atop a tiny cartoon body skydives into the studio, landing just out of frame—when he stands up it’s the real Chuck Todd)
Hey DC dudes and beltway babes, welcome to Chuck’d! I’m your host Chuck Todd, faithful lackey of the ruling class TO THE XTREME. On today’s show I take on Stephen Colbert and give that little rabblerouser the what for! (pantomimes guitar solo) He says he’s a satirist, but I’d say he’s more like Jonathan Not So Swift, am I right? (high fives man in front row) Or maybe Won’t Rogers, BAM. (high-fives woman is aisle seat) All I know is, (applies hand sanitizer) never the Twain shall meet! Okay, folks, got a great show today, my band is in the house—give it up for LIXPITL. (makes devil horns)
After these messages from our sponsors for goods and services that I am ALL ABOUT, DAWG, (dollar-sign wipe to reaction shot of mascot Bobo the Cocktail Wienerdog) we’ll be right back with more Chuck’d! We’ve taken the truth… and Chuck’d it!
(band launches into Iron Maiden’s “Powerslave,” cut to commercial)
h/t Michael Bérubé, maybe? Had to search high and low for an embeddable clip and when I finally found one, there he was, right on the channel page there. So Professor, if you had anything to do with me being able to get my hands on this, have a hat tip! Just the tip, though.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/20/12 at 04:03 PM
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(RRNN)—Rick Perry dropped out of the 2012 presidential race today and endorsed those kickass muscle relaxers some sketchy dude slipped him before his now-famous Manchester, NH appearance. “I can’t recommend ‘em highly enough, they’re like a space-walk in a Ziploc, man. Oh, you mean for the nomination? I dunno, one of those other pills, I guess,” said the ex-candidate.
The former governor and homunculus borne of George W. Bush’s genetic runoff will return to the place of his creation, What A Bunch Of Clones Laboratories, where he will writhe in agony as his body breaks down on the cellular level at geometrically accelerating speed, intermittently cursing his “father” (head geneticist Stephen Wong) for encumbering him with this cruel mockery of life. His final hours will be spent on the run—after using what remains of his strength to break out of his glass enclosure, he will kidnap Laura Bush and climb to the top of the Wells Fargo Plaza, bleating “I just want what you have, brother!” in something approximating human speech until his teeth and tongue fall out and drop to the street below.
“It was scary but kind of fun too, I guess I needed a little adventure in my life,” the former First Lady will be quoted as saying as she furtively tucks a Ziploc bag into her pocket and steps away from a bubbling puddle of viscous, flesh-colored liquid which was once considered a leading contender for the GOP nomination.
“Did I say ‘so cool?’ I meant cold, so very cold.”
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/19/12 at 01:14 PM
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Sentient smirk Dana Milbank wishes you shrill broads would tone it down a little, please. Your baseless ranting’s distracting him from the important work of being an above-it-all dipshit.
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