Nutters

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Nope-Got No Sole

Okay—that title is lifted from a tweet from Jonathan Capehart, who documents the silliness of the “Shoe Truthers” with a trace of the exasperation any sane person might feel when examining the actual serious thought processes of people who might be a wee bit paranoid a lot.

I’m kind of an uptight thinker who seldom strays into the fanciful except to atomize a yet-more out-there notion—so let me boringly put a damper on this thing: there is obviously no way for any person to aim a shoe that they were wearing at a public figure and then hobble off scot-free. They are certain to be apprehended—any fancy of flight would prove, well, bootless.  Any collusion to plant a person in an audience to launch a shoe would involve some connecting factor, because once charged with a federal offense (and a savvy lawyer like Hillary Clinton would have known this much) any stooge paid off to, for some kind of reason, launch a shoe at her, would roll like the mighty Mississippi. Who would bargain away their freedom for X-untraceable amount of funds for a PR scheme? The sane folks who’d go for that are few and far between, and there are many limiting factors involved in employing someone who would not be classified as mentally fit.

And let’s consider the PR downsides, which are numerous. Getting smacked upside the old bean with a sneaker would be ungraceful, so one might study to avoid head to tennie contact. Ducking is, itself, a kind of submissive posture. The actual fact of anyone launching an athletic shoe at one implies unpopularity—there is no good reason anyone would want to portray that level of unpopularity. A “lone shoe-er” is a poor representative of anything like a “vast, right-wing conspiracy”, so activating sympathetic historical memes is out…leaving what exactly? A footwear fetish?

So fine, you are left with the spectacle of a former First Lady, US Senator, and Secretary of State ducking and covering from a podalic projectile because that’s the way she likes it. Uh huh? Uh huh. That is some serious stupid.  I do not know what to make of anyone who would stupid that hard.

(X-posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 04/15/14 at 11:37 PM
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Monday, April 14, 2014

Bloody Lunacy

Tomorrow, in the wee hours of the morning throughout much of the United States, there will be a total eclipse of the full moon corresponding with Passover.  During a lunar eclipse, the Earth is positioned between the moon and the sun, and the moon is obscured by the shadow (there are two regions of shadow, the penumbral and umbral regions)- during a total eclipse of the moon (as opposed to a total eclipse of the sun or of the heart), sunlight passing through Earth’s atmosphere colors the moon a shade of red.  This reddish hue has inspired the term “Blood Moon” for eclipses of this sort.

Religious nutbars being what they are, whackaloon John Hagee believes that four coming lunar eclipses signal Earthshaking events, perhaps even the dawn of the “End Times”.  Religious fundies can even spoil the beauty of the celestial dance.

Religious people are often characterized as humble people, but I think that’s total B.S. Every religious fundamentalist sees him-or-herself as the center of momentous events, a witness to the climax of history.  In reality, each and every one of us is a tiny speck of matter on a slightly larger speck of matter, as Douglas Adams put it far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy, and I would add, not even a particularly distinguished galaxy at that.

We are not that important in the grand scheme of things, no matter what interpretation of an ambiguous passage in a book written by Bronze Age goatherders and passed through many translations over the course of the last couple of millennia is favored by a crazy religious fundamentalist in Texastan.  Get over yourselves, fundies.  Enough of this bloody lunacy. 

Cross posted at my eponymous blog.

Posted by Big Bad Bald Bastard on 04/14/14 at 05:48 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersRelijun

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Free Your Mind

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Aiming at who-knows-what entertainment value, Fox News, on Friday, launched a “robust discussion” of the current state of racism in America.  Or, at least as robust a discussion as five white conservative pundits, including a B-list comedian, could have on that topic.

The timing of the program probably had to do with Attorney General Eric Holder getting all “uppity,” a few days ago, about being disrespected by Louie Gohmert (R-TX), and follow-up remarks by Rep. Charlie Rangel (D-NY) when he was asked if Holder had played “the race card.”

The discussion meandered along most of the well-trodden paths leading to Post Racism America.

Comments like these abounded:

This race thing is – you know, at this point, I can’t believe they’re still saying it.

I might even agree with you that there may be some racism left in America, but who cares?  Anyone who does or says anything racist is always punished for it immediately. So why do we even talk about it anymore?

Dana Perino even managed a deftly worded boy-who-calls-wolf admonition when she wondered if “playing the race card so promiscuously actually drains the power of calling someone a racist.”

Eric Bolling and Andrea Tantaros seconded the theme that most Americans aren’t even concerned about racism anymore.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 04/13/14 at 02:10 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Ben Stein Likes Indoor Plumbing, Dislikes Poor People

Visine pitchman, former Comedy Central gameshow host, and ex-presidential speechwriter Ben Stein really wouldn’t hack me off, what, a couple times every five-six years or so? If he just wasn’t a pious hypocritical ivory tower word-weaseling douche canoe.

It isn’t the highest standard in the world. Many people have avoided being a hypocritical ivory tower word-weaseling douche canoe. He just isn’t living up to that standard, and I despair of his regular attempts at self-sabotage.

So, I point to an interview, which kind of turns on a thin dime so subtly that you might have to think a minute to realize that Stein is weaseling.

“Yes, the government designates many tens of millions as poor, but they almost always have indoor plumbing (which my mother did not have in her small town in the Catskills) and they are super nourished as opposed to mal-nourished,” he said. “They get food stamps. They get free medical care. They get vouchers for many of the needs of life.”

While he pities their plight, Stein pointed out that poverty was greatly reduced in scope and severity in the past century.

“In olden times, poverty was the common human condition,” Stein said. “In the USA, as recently as the Great Depression, poverty was commonplace. FDR might have exaggerated when he described one-third of the nation as ‘ill housed, ill fed and ill clad…’ But surely he was not far off.”

And his mother would be how old?  I bet nobody had color tv’s in her day either. And his solution is?

“Maybe, just maybe, if we let God back into the public forum it would help. I have seen spiritual solutions work miracles.”

And in his mother’s day, way back when, when the poor folks were really poor, and not the kind of fake-ass poor we have today—is he saying things were less religious then? Because, unless I’m really mistaken, most conservatives envision the past as being a little less secularized and hippieficated , and way more squared-away, God-fearing, and role-knowing. And yet the really poor folks were back in the day, he says. And his momma did not have indoor plumbing, he also adds.

Thinking about that: Are you saying your momma was godless and self-sabotaging, then, Ben? Because I do not think that proves your point, and you shouldn’t even be talking that smack about your momma. That isn’t decent.

(X-Posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 04/09/14 at 11:27 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersMessylaneousPoliticsBqhatevwrNuttersPolisnarkRelijun

American Taliban Mobilizing Against Gay-stapo

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Apparently the far right wants blood and they are doing all of the right things to get them some.

Screeching and fear-mongering over gays in our midst is nothing new for them but those who pay close attention to their antics are recognizing that we have entered a new phase—the mobilization and deployment of armed-to-the-teeth, anti-gay wingnuts who are coming around to a belief that they have a sacred mandate to eliminate the gay.

Guys like Scott Lively have been gay-bashing for a long time and are relatively harmless because their self-interest trumps their desire to scuff their Guccis in the trenches.  Up until recently, Lively would rather go to Latvia or Uganda, where he’s a bigger fish, and persuade some petty satraps there to go out and kill their own gays. 

He is evidently smart enough to know that the tiny minority of Americans nutty enough to support his agenda will never get much of anything done - at least, legislatively.  And Lively’s gay-bashing cottage industry of books, speaking engagements and his hate ministry Abiding Truth Ministries has barely netted enough to keep him in Crown Victorias.

So he’s decided to run for Governor of Massachusetts on a platform that includes “Your President, Barack Obama, Is a Fag.”

Meanwhile, Lively’s book The Pink Swastika has become something of a cult classic in the gay-hate microcosm.  The book explains that homosexuals are the true inventors of Nazism and the evil genius behind many Nazi atrocities.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 04/09/14 at 11:27 AM
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Categories: LGBTPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Halting Evolution One Seat At A Time

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There’s this guy, from The Gopher State [State Bird: Common Loon], who was going about his American Dream, minding his own business, raising a family, working hard, getting his MBA on-line, and then—BOOM!

An incident happened! and suddenly, Aaron Miller knew that he must drop everything and get himself elected to Congress to save America from science-crazed, war-on-religion, constitution-shredders wrecking everything.

That “incident,” which has become a set piece of Miller’s stump speeches, occurred as follows:

. . . he shared a story about his daughter becoming very upset because she had to learn about evolution at school. He said his daughter told the teacher that she did not believe in evolution. He said the teacher expressed agreement with his daughter, but told her that they were forced to teach the lesson by the government.

When asked for further detail, Miller declined to provide the name of the teacher in his story.

So, you see, it was a father’s concern for his children that set Mr. Miller on his path to Washington, DC:

There’s a war on our values by the government,” Miller said. “We should decide what is taught in our schools, not Washington, D.C.

As a parent, of course, I can empathize.  I remember a similar incident, when my son was in high school. He came home one day fuming and obviously upset, because he told his math teacher he didn’t believe in calculus so he shouldn’t have to pass his class.  His teacher agreed that there really was no such thing as calculus but that he wouldn’t get into engineering school unless he played along.  Took him a long time to heal . . .

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Posted by Bette Noir on 04/08/14 at 10:16 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '14NuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Kochs Branch Out Into The Whine Business

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One of the many things that I love about the Internets is the opportunity it affords to be politically active without getting my head bashed in.  I was 18 years old in 1968 when my childhood friends started disappearing into jungles, or Canadian provinces, as the case may be. 

At that time, I learned that the most expedient way to express my grief and disapproval was to band together with the rest of my generation to make a very loud, often inarticulate, noise.  That behavior often resulted in my getting spit upon, derided and, on some special occasions, getting my head bashed or my pins knocked out from under me by fire hoses, for my trouble. 

Unpleasant enough stuff, but, as a rule, such encounters did not end as badly as Kent State.

Gradually, I learned that if one stood firm, kept faith and kept up the noise, it was, indeed, possible to make change happen.  Nowadays I’m way too old to get my head banged [or put myself in a position to, God forbid,  break a hip] but I still have an abiding belief in making noise.

It has taken me a few days to fully digest Charles Koch’s most recent lamentation, nailed up on Rupert Murdoch’s wailing wall for billionaires, the op-ed page of The Wall Street Journal.  In case anyone hasn’t seen Koch’s op-ed, it was evidently far too important to put behind the pay-wall, where Koch’s target audience of Lying Libruls were unlikely to pay for the privilege, so you can find it here.  Very democratic . . .

Generally, I don’t much care for the Open Letter format but since my chances are slim for a one-on-one with Charles Koch, and my political beliefs won’t allow me to remain silent, I’m forced to rebut his opinions out here in the less populous reaches of the internet, where, nevertheless, worthy citizens of this republic still keep faith with the ideals that Mr Koch seems hell-bent to dispense with . . .

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Posted by Bette Noir on 04/05/14 at 10:05 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrElection '14Election '16Nutters

Friday, April 04, 2014

Public-Private Poutrage

Modern conservatism in the US is predicated on a bizarre, ongoing inversion of reality. Item: an addled B-movie actor explodes the national debt and is lionized as a champion of small government. A cowardly, none-too-bright male cheerleader from a patrician clan is packaged and sold as a brush-clearin,’ neo-Churchillian cowpoke.

The party that bankrupted the country through ruinous, pointless warmongering and Wall Street wilding markets itself as the fiscally responsible foreign policy grownups. The party that allows a gun manufacturer flak organization to intimidate it into allowing terrorists and the floridly crazy to purchase unlimited semiautomatic weapons bills itself as tough on crime. Etc.

So it shouldn’t be surprising that conservatives’ perception of their ongoing defeat in the culture wars is exactly the opposite of reality on every level too. But that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at the ahistorical ranting. Cue the Powertools, lamenting the resignation of erstwhile Mozilla CEO Brendan Eich:

So the liberals claim another scalp. This is something new in our history, as far as I know. Until now, private citizens could hold whatever political beliefs they wanted, and support political causes as they chose.

Ever heard of the McCarthy hearings? Where a wingnut senator persecuted private citizens and destroyed their livelihoods because of their political beliefs? See, when the party of free markets decides to regulate political beliefs, it does so via the government.

What happened to Eich is a free market phenomenon. You can make the argument that the companies and developers who balked at the prospect of working with a CEO who thinks gays are icky should have given Eich a chance. But the companies and developers are independent agents who are free to vote with their feet because freedom.

Over at Heritage.org, they’ve discovered the power of government policy in leading social change:

Policy should prohibit the government from discriminating against any individual or group, whether nonprofit or for-profit, based on their beliefs that marriage is the union of a man and woman or that sexual relations are reserved for marriage. Policy should prohibit the government from discriminating in tax policy, employment, licensing, accreditation, or contracting against such groups and individuals.

Okay, so you guys were for prohibiting the government from discriminating against same sex couples in tax policy, employment, licensing, accreditation or contracting, right? Nope.

Once again, the self-proclaimed anti-nanny state crusaders and champions of free markets are revealed as sniveling hypocrites. Hoocoodanode?

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 04/04/14 at 07:31 AM
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Categories: LGBTPoliticsBedwettersNuttersTeabaggeryRelijun

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

SCOTUS Shows Love for the Rainmakers and Buckrakers

In the home of the brave, free speech comes with a price tag, as the Supreme Court decided in a 5-4 (No! Really?) decision in the McCutcheon v. FEC case, which basically gives rich folks the license to print ballots.

Maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but here’s the deal—if putting your money where your mouth is, is a form of free speech, then some animals on this farm are obviously more equal than others, if laws that try to keep the rich from drowning out the voices of the not-so-much are seen as onerously violating the rights of the people who can afford to pay for this here microphone and mean to use it.

It kind of says, if you can’t afford to pay for the good sound system, you might as well shut up.

There was some dancing around in that decision about whether campaign financing was about quid pro quo—look, I get it. The decision for letting our politicians be bought outright was centered on not making it for each trick they turn out, but letting them perform on a retainer basis.  And that’s sweet, but let’s call it what it is. And let’s not pretend that our transactional political system isn’t about quid pro quo because the paymasters don’t give direction when our little dears can figure out what they are supposed to do to please Daddy without all that much direction.

Now, there might be an antidote to the influence of money in the form of a critical, tough, independent media who can cut through the “talk” of money and see to it that “bullshit” hits the road. A lot of our mainstream media might not necessarily recognize that cutting through the bull is their job, though. That’s kind of why I see blogging as important. Maybe this cosa nostra can strike a little bit back at the pezzanovantes that want to make peasants out of us. But otherwise, I encourage everybody to vote the fuck out of the GOP, because, let’s be honest, they are the most boughten and paidest-for. I’m all for kicking the Koch-machine—how’bout you?

(X-Posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 04/02/14 at 10:08 PM
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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The Banality of Evil: Rumsfeld Edition

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Seems like a lifetime ago, in the 1960s, philosopher Hannah Arendt gave us the phrase “the banality of evil” to describe Nazi Adolf Eichmann’s demeanor during his war crimes trial in Jerusalem.

Despite all the efforts of the prosecution, everybody could see that this man was not a “monster,” but it was difficult indeed not to suspect that he was a clown. And since this suspicion would have been fatal to the entire enterprise [his trial], and was also rather hard to sustain in view of the sufferings he and his like had caused to millions of people, his worst clowneries were hardly noticed and almost never reported (p. 55).

Arendt has always had critics of her thesis about Eichmann’s “ordinariness.”  Still, I find her ironic notion of the “banality of evil” a very useful device for characterizing some of the inexplicable nuttiness afoot in 21st century America.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 03/26/14 at 12:36 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrBushCoNuttersOur Stupid Media

Monday, March 24, 2014

Enjoying My Hobby in Your Lobby

It’s some kind of crying shame that I haven’t addressed the Hobby Lobby case when I am supposed to be a pro-reproductive rights feminist over here. I don’t know where my head is at. But when I was buying yarn to crochet a cozy for a diapraghm case, I had a kind of epiphany that really only comes when you’ve been sniffing the Modge-Podge for a while—

Look. I think we can agree that an employment contract is not a one-way street. It never was meant to be. So, if Hobby Lobby believes it is totally in the right to make decisions regarding the reproductive health and maintenance of it’s employees, in other words, making those employees’ private business their store business, then it’s only fair that the employees should be able to bring their private business right into the public business.

That’s right, Hobby Lobby. If you all think you have a right to dictate the methods your employees use for their bedroom or kitchen floor or whatever activities, those employees should feel comfortable enjoying those activities in your store. I don’t mean on the clock. Off-the clock, of course, since your company has decided to also be the boss of all off-the-clock funtimes. But let’s get this clear—you wanna make the rules?

You should get to make the rules about stuff happening on the premises of your store. Sexy funtimes don’t happen in your store. Until you made it about you. Now I think employees should get to use the break room, or even the return desk, to do what they like—because you guys decided their business was your business. So why shouldn’t your business be where they can do their business?

Of course—no one would probably want to actually screw in your store. Not because pony beads and potholder looms aren’t fucking erotic as hell, but because that is not what your store is for. Your store is for serving your customers, who for the most part don’t give a good goddamn what your employees do so long as they don’t screw up an order and give them exact change.  Why don’t you try and be at least as tolerant as your customers? And recognize that your employees are human beings with bodies, and that the female bodies deserve to be treated by the people who have to live in them—and that isn’t you, Hobby Lobby execs.

(X-Posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 03/24/14 at 11:14 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaHealth CareNuttersPolisnarkWar On WomenRelijun

I See A Dark Man, A Tall Man With No Leadership Skills

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America’s Biggest Loser decided to come out and do the Nae Nae on Face the Nation, Sunday, just for shits and giggles, I guess.  There’s no more plausible explanation for why Willard Romney would set himself up by grabbing a hot mic and exposing himself to nationwide derision.  Again. 

Unless, of course, he’s delusional enough to think that he still has something to sell America [perish the thought].

For whatever reason, the man decided to prance like a dancing horse over to Bob Schieffer’s Place and do a Loser’s Lap during which he delivered this precious evidence of why Willard is not Barack—brace yourselves, ESP enters into it:

The president’s naïveté with regards to Russia, and his faulty judgement about Russia’s intentions and objectives has led to a number of foreign policy challenges that we face.  And unfortunately not having anticipated Russia’s intentions, the president wasn’t able to shape the kinds of events that may have been able to prevent the kinds of circumstances that you’re seeing in the Ukraine, as well as the things that you’re seeing in Syria.

I think effective leaders typically are able to see the future to a certain degree, and are able to take actions to shape it in some way.  And that’s, of course, what this president has failed to do. And as secretary of state, Hillary Clinton as well.

Ooooh! the ultimate burn.  I guess he learned words like naïveté while he was making Paris safe for the Angel Moroni.  Also, the “and your little dog, too” addendum about Hillz was a nice touch..

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Posted by Bette Noir on 03/24/14 at 09:55 AM
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Sunday, March 16, 2014

Lose, Reince, Repeat

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I have to hand it to Reince Priebus, the guy is no quitter. 

Despite the fact that his party’s candidates turned the 2012 presidential campaign into an internationally acclaimed political farce and handily lost an election that they believed they had in the bag, Reince was undaunted.  The RNC chairman spent his entire post-election Christmas vacation pounding out 100 pages of extreme makeover ideas for the GOP, some of which were pretty good ones.  Ultimately, all of them were cavalierly dismissed or completely ignored by the rank and file.

So that was one year down the tubes.  Now we’re heading into mid-term elections which, if current GOP trends prevail, will surely prove to be a farcical free-for-all in search of America’s Biggest Extremist.  Karoli over at Crooks and Liars has astutely observed the usual Republican establishment’s pre-election jitters surfacing already:

It must be an election year, because there’s no other reason for wingers who never do anything about their crazies to react to the backlash over Austin Ruse’s statement that “liberal professors should just be taken out and shot.

We’re bound to see more such organizational hand-wringing before November but, let’s face it, Reince doesn’t really have a prayer of keeping that many congressional races sane, so that’ll be another year shot.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 03/16/14 at 12:14 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '14Election '16Hillary ClintonNutters

Friday, March 14, 2014

Who Would Jesus Shoot?

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Is it some esoteric law of nature, or something, that all anti-gay uber-bigots wind up looking like my Uncle Bruce the Bachelor?

Meet Austin Ruse, who is one of those insufferable little lumps who believes he is a Great Thinker, Mover and Shaker because some like-minded insufferable little lumps publish his brain farts on their blog.  [Think Breitbart.]

The guy has a BA in journalism from Mizzou, a big mouth and an even bigger ego which he has parlayed into a lifetime free ride as “president” of the non-profit hate group Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute (C-FAM), which styles itself a “think tank.” 

Under Ruse’s twisted guidance, C-FAM earned its official designation from the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) for it’s groundbreaking work in international gay-bashing but is sure to eventually earn its stripes in other categories of hatefulness like misogyny, racism, liberal-baiting, dissolution of the Girl Scouts of America and banning contraception.

Ruse is a vocal disseminator of the Matthew Shepard: Drug Lord theory.  His rambling Matthew Shepard trutherism masterpiece, for Breitbart.com, entitled A Martyr Is A Terrible Thing To Waste, is queerly laced with a little wistful slobbering over Shepard:

. . . he was achingly handsome, tousled blond hair, slight of frame, and delicately chiseled.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 03/14/14 at 12:15 PM
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Categories: LGBTPoliticsNuttersRelijun

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Bachmann Wields Her Terrible Swift Sword

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Well Michele Bachmann (R-MN) won’t be afflicting the body politic in any official capacity much longer but the woman’s a trouper and, despite being a tad punch-drunk, she’s still in there flailing away. 

Holding court at last week’s CPAC, La Bachmann shared, in a radio interview, her still raw anguish over Governor Jan Brewer’s decision to veto Arizona’s “right to discriminate” law. 

Rep. Bachmann is especially aggrieved over the bullying that she and The American People are suffering at the hands of teh gayz:

And the thing that I think is getting a little tiresome is the gay community have so bullied the American people and they have so intimidated politicians that politicians fear them and they think they get to dictate the agenda everywhere. Well, not with the Constitution you don’t.

She added that gay people and “activist judges” are trying to take away her freedom: “If you want take away my religious liberties, you can advocate for that but you do it through the constitutional process and you don’t intimidate and no politician should give away my religious liberties or yours.”

 

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Posted by Bette Noir on 03/11/14 at 11:50 AM
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