Rumproast Related

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

YAFB’s 2012 Rumproast Roundup, Part 1

Just about every outlet runs a recap of the year at this point in the calendar, so I figured I’d join ‘em.

After the fold and in the subsequent parts you’ll find a whizz through the highlights and lowlights of the year I’ve chosen to cherrypick from the pages of Rumproast, along with some nominees for Headline of the Month. All this is obviously open to debate and I’m sure there are plenty of folks who’ll disagree with my choices in what is of necessity a very sketchy and superficial skim of 2012’s themes. If so, feel free to pipe up in the comments.

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Posted by YAFB on 12/26/12 at 08:29 AM

Sunday, December 23, 2012

I Came By It Honestly

Mama-san Don't Care

Poll, if I may interrupt for a second, I am really irritated at the way they allow Newt Gingrich to continue living on.

—my mother, at noon, and not a drop taken (so far).

Mama-San arrived yesterday, with her traditional complement of leftovers in baggies, family-size bottles of vino in case Chez Polly does not provide, and the non-crushable Shirt Which Must Be Carried Separately, which must not be housed in any kind of luggage, but travel with its own hanger, not to be confused with any other hanger which could not possibly be as good.  I had been introducing her to Charles Pierce with this piece, which is how we got to Newt, though with Mama-San, we could just as easily have gotten from there to her hatred of English toast racks or “EC cetera.” 

My nonagenarian mother will be here taking care of me while I do a four-day internship taking care of youngsters in their eighties, starting Christmas Eve. So if I don’t get another chance to say it, Roasters, how rare and wonderful it is to spend another year with you! And Merry Whatever You Wish.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 12/23/12 at 12:22 PM

Categories: BoozeImagesMessylaneousPoliticsNuttersRumproast RelatedSkull Hampers

Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Cutting-Edge Career To Which I Can Never Return (NSFW)

Ask anyone in advertising: they’ll tell you this video clip is the most spot-on parody of creative hackdom ever produced, and proof positive that Poe’s Law abides.

It goes without saying that I will never again be involved in graphic or video advertising services; and, certainly no one will ever pay me to put my eyes behind an SLR viewfinder or at the wheel of a high-end digital videocam.

‘Tis true: the biggest job on my plate right now is to find a way to feed myself for the next twenty years. The cats are living in foster homes. I’m probably moving to subsidized housing for the disabled. And my one great hope is that talking computers can compensate for a blind man’s keyboard disorientation. It’s gonna be a brand new future for me. One that I hope will be more than modestly shared with the brave ranks of Rumproasters!

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 12/13/12 at 03:53 PM

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

True…But Strange

Back in the mid ‘80s I spent most of my weekends chilling on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, where I dated one of the daughters of America’s original “Beat” writer, Chandler Brossard. One day, when she was engaged in her casting job for TV’s “Another World” soap opera, I received a phone call from Andy Warhol’s nephew, James, who lived in Queens. It seems James needed a human model for a book cover he was painting, and he thought I could fill the bill. And since my gal was busy tending to the needs of a TV show cast which included a budding juvenile Jane Krakowski, I decided to help him out.

Forty-five minutes later, the L train dropped me in front of James’s industrial-style loft in Queens. He didn’t have any official props, but he equipped me with a mop-bucket helmet, a bathroom-rug cape, and a plastic broom handle to stand in for my ray gun.

You can see the results above, in the appropriately titled, “Nightmare Machine” installment of the Battlestar Galactica chronicles. And thanks to James for visiting me in the trauma hospital, remembering that he had painted this, and offering to send me the original canvas to hang in my home. How’s your life, cousins?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/27/12 at 08:26 PM

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Just a Little More Robertson, if I may?

I have bittersweet feelings, as an atheist, about the Thanksgiving season, because it is the gateway to Christmastown. I have things to be thankful about (Obama winning the election, the dying out of Rush Limbaugh’s audience, the tendency of major events to show science is, like, a real thing, not a hobby people in lab coats do for shits’n'grins, Y’know, like how global warming is real, or how contraception means “not conceiving”—those kinds of things.)

Anyway, I do sort of hate Christmas, and yet, I don’t begrudge believers their thing. No, seriously. If they pay homage to the Christ within their fellow humans by providing those near and dear to them with gifts, or sing songs, or make any kind of merry—I am totally down with the merry-making. I and merry-making have been one for the longest. I am a wassailing fool.  I am a gift-wrapping, toe-tapping, high-spending, season-ending, bell-ringing, hotdish-bringing you-know-what of an atheist. I celebrate. I am not stealing or co-opting your joy. I have the spirit, you know?

But there’s this little thing with the all-Xmas radio channels and the in-store Xmas Musak. So many, many of my peeps are retail folks. So many, many of them are living with “Rum, tum, tum tum.” ringing in their ears, and regardless of belief, that regular aural assault on the eardrums of fala-lala-la is not healthy. It’s been used as a form of psyops by no less than Sheriff Arpaio..  As a member of student choirs since I was very young, I was exposed to a kind of SERE training against overt aural Xmas Ear Assault behaviors by the major retail establishments.  But I know full well what they are and how they demoralize retail workers while trying to send Christmas telegraphs to regular folks—all about the same thing: the need for too muchnesss, and the availability of right jolly old elves who serve the Christmas spirit,

Me, I think the Christmas spirit is that thing you have when you aren’t even doing Christmas stuff,  And I believe a Christmas is done best when it’s commercialized least—which is why I stand with Black Friday protestors, and support people espousing Small Business Saturday.

Your milage may vary. But I say just a little less “jingle” might better serve the better Kringles of our human nature.  I am for the Matthew gospel of the season—more than the buy it now button of our culture.  And I think its the outcasts and weirdos who espouse it better than some of the Christmas Warriors..

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 11/24/12 at 12:05 AM

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Hemi-Semi-Demi Liveblogging the Vote With Strange & Polly And The Whole Roast Crack Election Team

The He-Man Voter of Swing State

Here we go either liveblogging or openly thready, somewhat off-kilter, as your hostess is a hurricane refugee hanging with Strange in PA, and your host is napping until CNN stops telling us to ignore their own exit polls (“It’s too early!”).

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 11/06/12 at 08:57 PM

Friday, November 02, 2012

Hungry For You—Mitt Romney’s Ode To Obama’s Swing State Poll Numbers

OK, let’s see: 5 days to lift-off, hours of cheesy synth tracks; a third-rate Captain Spaulding chasing a minstrel in blackface, and a crappy word puzzle that nobody cares about. Yep, that’s Mitt Romney in the Home Stretch…with nothing to hope for, except maybe that everyone else won’t forget about him. Good luck with that one, Mitt.

(by StrangeAppar8us, as dictated to Mrs. Polly)

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Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 11/02/12 at 06:57 PM

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Frankenstorm: Big and Wet and On Its Way

I have no snark at all regarding the monster-storm that has the Mid-Atlantic (holler!)  and New England states in a state of downward hunkering right now. I spent a few hours this afternoon making sure my outdoor container plants and lawn furniture weren’t transformed into projectiles by the high winds expected, and that my fridge was properly full of bottled water and beer. At this point, if you know you’re in the path of it, hopefully you’ve stocked up on canned goods, batteries, and the like.  My spouse very thoughtfully pointed out the location of every flashlight in the house to me and we got out the old fashioned non-cordless phone as well as charging all our cells.  Luckily, our house is all above ground level and we’re in Philadelphia (our power doesn’t usually stay off long—I’ve lived in the ‘burbs, and there’s a real difference.)

I could get into whether this storm is a sign of global warming (well, yeah) or what we can expect (apparently, something weird and unprecedented), or even relate the impending awfulness to the election (by reminding you all once again that a certain candidate thought states should take responsibility in disasters—give your own particular local governments a good long look, friends, and shudder along with me, hm?), but instead I think this should be more of a “check-in” thread.

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 10/28/12 at 09:59 PM

Categories: MessylaneousNewsRumproast Related

Monday, October 22, 2012

Debate Liveblog? I Prefer…DEBATE UNDEADBLOG


Why yessss, we have an appointment tonight….you will return, return to us at nine, nine in the evening, to imbibe of the Rumproast life force as we dine on the viscera of our enemies, THROATY LAUGH!

Liveblog thread to go up at a quarter to. Hack easy pun finish: THE STAKES COULDN’T BE HIGHER! But really, do you want Cuddles up there to add “President’s Spawn” to his Curriculum (un)Vitae?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/22/12 at 03:21 PM

Categories: ImagesPoliticsElection '12Rumproast Related

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Coming Soon to a Screen Near You! Beauty vs. The Beast


We’ll be liveblogging tonight’s VP debate, beginning at 9 p.m. ET.

Will Joe Biden kick the evening off by ambling across the stage and sitting daintily on Martha Raddatz’s knee, to her obvious delight?

Will Paul Ryan flounce out in a cloud of talcum powder?

Will the booze stash stand up to the onslaught?

Will this chickenwire barrier I’ve erected in front of my laptop hold out for the whole 90 minutes?

Will Chicago derail the media narrative by taking down Twitter and Farmville, leaving the rest of the world to figure out WTF just happened for themselves?

Time alone will tell. Join us if you don’t like screaming at your screen without company.

Posted by YAFB on 10/11/12 at 03:20 PM

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Coming Soon! Clash of the Tight Uns


It’s a while since we’ve had a liveblog and debate livestream, but tonight we’re going to be blogging the life out of this I Wanna Be President/Let’s Kill Off a Few More Factcheckers argumenty thang and drinking till our livers bale out in search of more convivial, more caring homes.

Check in around 9pm ET, when the sorry caboodle goes live, or if you’d prefer to drink and throw bricks and unwary domestic critters at the screen alone, check in a little later for our post-debate chillout/WTF was that moderator thinking?!!!/drownsorrows/jubilate/arglebargle thread, where we’ll no doubt be letting it all hang out in style.

Date? Date.

Posted by YAFB on 10/03/12 at 05:00 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12Rumproast Related

Monday, September 10, 2012

Sign up and join the kewel kids!  Rumproast member drive now open!  LIMITED TIME ONLY!!

Fed up fighting with Captcha?  Well, we sympathize but taking it down lets in sooooo many spambots.  So we’re having a registration drive this week.  Benefits of being an oh-fishy-all Rumproast member?  Ummmm, let me think.  Oh wait!  You can sign in on entry (or even use the setting to auto-sign in every time) and your comments can flow with ease.  No more squinting battles to make out those weird words.  Or, worse, figure them out and Captcha STILL won’t let you comment.  Also, too.  We promise never, ever to share your email etc. information with anyone else.  So follow the link on the sidebar and become a Rumproastateer!!  TODAY!!

Posted by marindenver on 09/10/12 at 07:26 PM

Categories: Rumproast Related

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Honk If You Love rumproast


Greetings, all,
Bette Noir, here, all fluffed up and honored to be invited to become a RumpRoaster.  [I’d like to thank the Academy, and my dear old Gran who probably served up more actual rump roast than any of you can even imagine; perhaps she was clairvoyant] . . . I’ve been a daily visitor and admirer here for some time and even put in my two cents whenever I’m especially moved to chime in.  I vaguely recall one histrionic moment, a short while back, in which I proposed marriage to Big Bad Bald Bastard, born aloft, I suppose, on one of his intellectual updrafts. [Hello B4, darling].

I am going to keep this very brief because, I dare say, my life’s story is quite as boring and relatively un-knowable as the next person’s.  On the other hand my personal likes, dislikes, mood and peculiar predilections may, from time to time, infuse my observations providing amusement for some and a big, fat target for others.  So be it!

For what it’s worth, I am a retired occupational gadfly.  My last gig was as a technical writer for a monolithic old dinosaur of a corporation (which qualifies me to translate what geeks and propeller-heads say into something the rest of us might hope to understand).  It was quite a lot of fun, though, because the modern corporate citizen is in awe of people who can actually read and write in anything other than short bursts of jargon and acronyms, treating them as welcome visitors from a distant galaxy .  . . such work is lucrative, too, because corporations have a tendency to overpay for talents that seem exotic to them.  God bless the Corporatocracy.

I am also the lesbian mother of a completely heterosexual, over-achieving son who has presented me with a lovely little nuclear family of his own [ever so glad he wasn’t kidnapped by Fundies to be raised properly].  To some extent I am a product of my times – due to cultural upheaval, an immoral war, Civil Rights battles, assassinations and Nixon in my adolescence, I went through an extremely apolitical period.  If anything, at that time, I was a quasi-anarchistic, self-absorbed chucklehead.  It was my immature reaction to a very bad chapter in US history.  Eventually, I grew out of it and, in recent years I was forced to come roaring back, when I realized that the GOP is forever.

Well now, that’s quite enough to be getting on with . . . as I said, before, I’m honored to be here as a co-blogger and I hope that RumpRoast readers will find my contributions relevant, provocative and entertaining.  Please comment freely and call me on it if you think I’m BS-ing, I really do pay attention.

Posted by Bette Noir on 08/16/12 at 12:36 PM

Categories: Rumproast Related

Thursday, July 26, 2012


StrangeAppar8us back in the days of R/L facial symmetry

(Update on the condition of our blog confrere StrangeAppar8us)

StrangeAppar8us died on November 3rd. Well, actually, since he’s sitting here right now, I guess I’d have to say that either he didn’t die very much, or that he never died at all.

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Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 07/26/12 at 09:30 AM

Categories: Rumproast RelatedStrangeAppar8us

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Guns don’t kill people. DEMONS kill people.

Over at K-Lo’s laughing academy:


Open thread. Because…damn.

PS: Did you know StrangeAppar8us is coming back tomorrow?

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/25/12 at 09:14 AM

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