Yeah, sure, there’s probably still some mischief Palin can get up to if the media continue to give her a platform, but she now officially joins the ranks of hasbeen pundits heckling from the sidelines, no longer able to dangle the “I might run” carrot before her asinine followers, now rapidly dwindling in numbers. So in the interests of completeness and to make life easier for future historians investigating the footnotes of politics in the Library of Congress archives, it seems fitting to add this interview with Greta Van Susteren to our vast catalog of Quitterabilia.
For those still intent on staying on the boat, it features AN APOLOGY from Palin—“I apologize to those who are disappointed in this decision”—possibly a world first. And did you know Obama *hack putt* is *sneer* UNVETTED?!
From the sounds of it, Palin fancies her future lies in being a king- or queen-maker. And GOP candidates!—Sarah’s here to HELP, ya just gotta ask. Hey, where’d y’all go?
Meanwhile, on October 11 it’s up, up, and away again to fleece some more gullible furriners who apparently thought they were engaging a presidential candidate, and instead will get a pointlessly bloviating animatronic winkin’ whoopie cushion.
I don’t believe it myself, but it’s being reported here and here.
Apparently, she sent a letter to supporters a short time ago:
October 5, 2011
Wasilla, Alaska
After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for President of the United States. As always, my family comes first and obviously Todd and I put great consideration into family life before making this decision. When we serve, we devote ourselves to God, family and country. My decision maintains this order.
My decision is based upon a review of what common sense Conservatives and Independents have accomplished, especially over the last year. I believe that at this time I can be more effective in a decisive role to help elect other true public servants to office – from the nation’s governors to Congressional seats and the Presidency. We need to continue to actively and aggressively help those who will stop the “fundamental transformation” of our nation and instead seek the restoration of our greatness, our goodness and our constitutional republic based on the rule of law.
From the bottom of my heart I thank those who have supported me and defended my record throughout the years, and encouraged me to run for President. Know that by working together we can bring this country back – and as I’ve always said, one doesn’t need a title to help do it.
I will continue driving the discussion for freedom and free markets, including in the race for President where our candidates must embrace immediate action toward energy independence through domestic resource developments of conventional energy sources, along with renewables. We must reduce tax burdens and onerous regulations that kill American industry, and our candidates must always push to minimize government to strengthen the economy and allow the private sector to create jobs.
Those will be our priorities so Americans can be confident that a smaller, smarter government that is truly of the people, by the people, and for the people can better serve this most exceptional nation.
In the coming weeks I will help coordinate strategies to assist in replacing the President, re-taking the Senate, and maintaining the House.
Thank you again for all your support. Let’s unite to restore this country!
God bless America.
– Sarah Palin
[UPDATE:] Just saw it reported on NBC News. The moving grifter bags, and having bagged, moves on.
No, Dear Readers, we haven’t absconded with the Rumproast Google ad fortune—we’re all just really busy at the moment because we are PRODUCTIVE JOB CREATORS (in addition to being dirty-fucking-hippie-socialist-moochers). That said, two quick thoughts on two newsy items from TPM:
The article also states:
Wallace goes on to say that there were discussions about whether, if McCain were to win the election, “it would be appropriate for her to be sworn in.”
I am Jack’s utter lack of surprise. Also too: NOW you tell us, Wallace? Profile in courage, you are. I hope your fucking book bombs.
Item two:
I like Debbie Wasserman Schultz, and I get what she’s saying. But “things would suck worse without Obama” is kinda a losing message, even if it’s true. Back to the drawing board, DWS.
Nothing makes my sap quicken like a good, old-fashioned story about three gals, a mountain and a pipeline that never got built.
Nonetheless, I’m SOOOO glad I didn’t donate a hundred bucks to SarahPAC for a $23 DVD that went on sale today for 44% off at Walmart...especially since it seems like a lot of Sarah fans who paid the big bucks months ago only got their copies yesterday:
I got my copy yesterday in the mail from SarahPAC. It was like Christmas.
I got my DVD yesterday. I heard that great chat with Todd and Bannon last night. He knows how to talk without any stumbles or mumbles. It’s great to have such an unassuming guy who is not at all afraid of making the facts crystal clear about history and his complete support of Sarah Palin and their family.
Run Sarah Run!
I paid $100 to receive my DVD one day before Wal-Mart. I hope that Sarah gets in… after waiting so long for my DVD.
I guess you really can’t destroy an American spirit…or the undead hopes of zombie fans who know for a fact that Snooki is running, precisely because she’s not.
On Friday, Chicago Magazine posted an interview with recent Breitbart hire Joel Pollack. In it, Andy’s new in-house counsel and editor said some things about Freelance Busybody Sarah Palin that are just so transcendentally stupid that no commentary is required:
Sarah Palin is treated as Jews have been treated for generations: no matter what she does, she’s wrong. She’s either too religious or not religious enough; she’s a housewife who can’t function as governor, or she’s the governor who doesn’t take care of her domestic duties. All the things are thrown at her in the same way that Jews were targeted. She’s identified herself [with Israel] and has shown empathy for the things that the Jewish community cares about in a way that I think has yet to achieve the right recognition. She sent out a picture recently to supporters—not Jewish supporters, but her general supporters — and it’s a picture of her in front of the Statue of Liberty and she’s wearing a Jewish star. Maybe not since the Puritans founded America and gave biblical names to each other has there ever been such a positive identification with Jewish symbolism, so I like to joke that Sarah Palin will be the first Jewish president.
Indeed, America was founded by Jews in buckled hats, who had for centuries been persecuted in nation after nation for their inability to juggle both routine household maintenance and ribbon-cutting ceremonies. And now comes the Sarahcaust, because bigoted Liberals believe every anti-grizzlitic smear published in The Protocols of the Elders of Wasilla.
I love the smell of desperation in the morning. Especially when it’s accompanied by just a soupçon of Perry flop sweat.
Yes, Reuters is reporting that “conservative activists” are pleading with Mike Huckabee to mount a white stallion and be their savior. Despite the fact that he pooh-poohed the idea in an interview with Fox News, “sources” say he’s thinking about it. He’s also apparently thinking about the fact that he’d have to raise a bundle of money in a very short time so I’m betting that an announcement will not be forthcoming.
And speaking of someone else who’s *not running*, fourpundits recently weighedin on the pressing subject of whether or not Chris Christie is “too fat” to be president. I kid you not. The consensus? “Maybe. Maybe not.”
In other news of Republican people who are not running for president, Sarah Palin has extended her self imposed deadline of September 30 for *making a decision*. As it’s been said here and elsewhere “grifters gotta grift”. Those hapless marks won’t keep clicking that donate button at SarahPac without a little suspense to keep the adrenaline levels up.
Poor Repubs. They’re running out of time. Who can they tap next? What do you guys think?
Weird: Starting at about 8:45, Snooki makes a powerful case for sitting out the election, since serious candidates can’t be all free and mavericky and influential and stuff. Sure sounds like she’s decided she’d rather freelance than go through the campaign meatgrinder.
I’ll happily go on record right now as saying that among the things I don’t give a damn about when it comes to Palin is who she’s allegedly slept with in the distant past. I barely give a damn about the “babygate” stuff that’s been doing the rounds of certain blogs since 2008, (a) because I have no way of establishing the truth of any allegations myself, (b) I’ve grown more and more impatient with the way it’s been trundling on and on and on for so long and has taken up a lot of people’s time who might be better employed elsewhere, and especially (c) even if she’s ever proven an outright liar about any of this, it probably won’t change that many people’s minds one way or another about her fitness for office or her role as a pundit anyway. Her words and public conduct have done that in spades, and if they don’t convince you, I doubt anything else will.
I’ve no idea what the grand strategy is behind this formal warning letter, beyond providing cover in the face of the challenge from some quarters that if the allegations were untrue, Palin would sue. There’s no injunction in the pipeline as far as I know, and through my work I’m familiar with how excruciatingly careful publishers’ legal departments are over potential libel, especially with predictably explosive subjects like Palin. I’ve actually read more allegations from the book about Palin on Breitbart’s site than I have anywhere else. I haven’t read detailed excerpts of McGinniss’s book, and I probably won’t bother as a lot of it’s beyond snark by this stage, much of it has already been around as rumor over the past three years or so, and my tolerance for things Palin beyond marveling at her continuing status as a punchline for the follies of fame and fandom in politics has steadily dwindled.
But if it does ever go to court, hold onto your hat because there’ll be a daily stream of allegations and revelations, happily broadcast by the media of every political stripe.
I’ll note before I go any further after the fold that Palin’s living in a glass house (suspiciously similar to a certain public building in Wasilla built around that time, but that’s by the by ...), given, among other things, her attempts to smear McGinniss as a peeping tom and pedophile during his time as her next door neighbor. Now that’s what I call slander and libel, but she gets a free pass for that every time she does something similar.
Well, not really. He’s just wrong as usual, this time combining his uniquely wrong insights about both politics and poetry to accidentally imply that New Jersey’s portly guv is The Beast.
Kristol, who as you may recall was instrumental in foisting kooky bumpkin Sarah Palin on an unsuspecting world, looked upon the current GOP field on display during this week’s debate and was appalled by its kookery and mediocrity. In an editorial entitled “Yikes,” Kristol wrote:
Reading the reactions of thoughtful commentators after the stage emptied, talking with conservative policy types and GOP political operatives later last evening and this morning, we know we’re not alone. Most won’t express publicly just how horrified—or at least how demoralized—they are.
[snip]
The e-mails flooding into our inbox during the evening were less guarded. Early on, we received this missive from a bright young conservative: “I’m watching my first GOP debate…and WE SOUND LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE!!!!” As the evening went on, the craziness receded, and the demoralized comments we received stressed the mediocrity of the field rather than its wackiness.
Not admiring your stitch-work, eh Dr. Frankenstein? My heart. It bleeds for you. Not.
A Palin Facebook fan representing too-clever-by-half wingnut outfitters 2012 Campaign Tees posted a link to their brandy-new design celebrating Snooki’s inevitable decision to run.
The story so far: On an ESPN radio show in Las Vegas, world-renowned brain-case Mike Tyson made some pretty heinous observations regarding Sarah Palin’s alleged date with basketballer Glen Rice. Tucker Carlson posted a clip and transcribed extracts from the show on his Daily Caller news site. Wingnut blogger Dan Riehl promptly accused Carlson of being a sexually-inadequate sissy-boy. Greta Van Susteren followed up by calling Carlson a “pig” on her Fox blog. A frenzy of angry Twittering ensued, culminating in last night’s Greta/Tucker slap-fest.
And, somehow, this is all the fault of media Liberals.
News Hounds kindly points out Greta’s rather spotty record of defending other female celebrities who don’t sign paychecks to her husband.
Given the vast amount of advice for the Democratic Party emanating from rightwingers at the moment and the yearning from some self-described progressives for someone—ANYONE ALREADY!!!!—to primary President Obama, it was only a matter of time before this final solution emerged, which is guaranteed to please them all.
Having so far failed to gain any mainstream traction in his bid to bring down Obama with his long-term birfer campaign, Joseph Farah of WorldNetDaily has a new cunning plan:
Lots of folks are still wondering whether Sarah Palin is going to jump into the 2012 Republican presidential campaign.
But if she really wants to make history, I have a bigger and better idea for her.
...
Brace yourself for a crazy idea.
Joseph, I’ve seen your columns over the past four years. Consider me braced.
Sarah Palin should reregister as a Democrat and announce her intention of seeking the Democratic Party nomination in 2012 over Barack Obama!
Crazy? I told you it was crazy.
But think about it.
How many Republicans nationwide would reregister as Democrats right along with her – temporarily – to support such a bold, unprecedented political move?
How many independents, who might not otherwise participate in primaries at all, would do the same?
How many Democrats, realizing they made a profound mistake in 2008, would vote for Palin?
Here at Rumproast, we’ve largely ignored the Joe McGinnness exposé on Sarah Palin. This isn’t the result of a behind-the-scenes editorial decision—it appears we independently reached the same conclusion, namely, ewwww.
This hasn’t stopped us (well, ME, anyway) from snickering uncontrollably at other bloggers’ treatment of the topic. I just prefer the low-hanging fruit to the rotting tidbits on the ground, this week anyway.
However, unhinged Palindrone Stacy “The Other” McCain just can’t quit McGinniss. I’m not sure exactly which allegations in the book drove the confirmed white supremacist round the bend. Could be the thing about Quitting Bull snorting coke off a 55-gallon drum. I dunno.
Anyway, McCain has a bizarre history of making vague threats of violence against perceived enemies. Like most internet tough guys, he never follows through.
But now he’s gone beyond fantasizing about himself as some pencil-necked wingnut Walter Mitty to spinning fantasies about Todd Palin repeatedly attacking and hospitalizing McGinness. It’s not just a passing fancy either—McCain spun a detailed yarn (that may owe something to “The Legend of Billie Jean”) about Mr. Sarah becoming the subject of a nationwide manhunt for repeatedly pummeling McGinniss as Mrs. Todd rides a wave of vicarious wingnut testosterone to the top of the polls to become the GOP frontrunner. No, really.
McCain is urging fellow Palindrones to contribute to SarahPAC to defray Mr. Palin’s imaginary legal expenses and fund a documentary to chronicle Palin’s imaginary assaults on McGinness. Now, I’m no lawyer. But wouldn’t encouraging violence—even if your imaginary gladiator ignores the encouragement—and funneling money toward a political action committee in connection with repeated calls to violence enter a legal gray area? Like I said, I don’t know. But I suspect the Roberts Court would enshrine it as a perfectly legitimate fundraising tool.
Today is Constitution Day, the day America honors the much-amended pamphlet on government, citizenship, guns and alcohol that doesn’t mention God, anywhere, even once, and nowhere states that a Presidential candidate needs two citizen parents in order to be eligible for election. It’s also a day when a lot of people with flags on sticks pose for patriotic photographs that are even creepier than Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet.
Previously, there had been much online speculation that Palin would announce her candidacy today (the official Constitution Day) or yesterday (the observed Constitution Day)...mostly by people who had previously declared that she would announce on Ronald Reagan’s birthday (February 6) or at her recent Tea Party speech in Indianola (September 3).
But Sarah has not yet announced, because she is the Sun Tzu of not running while appearing to run, the John Boyd of fluidly-adaptable non-runningness, and the Liddell Hart of only running in the minds of her enemies.
Sarah plays Battleship where everyone else plays Uno. She is beyond knowing or second-guessing, and — by most measures — even caring about.
I mean, seriously — does anyone give a shit if she announces between now and the election? I sure don’t. In terms of policy and credibility, she’s indistinguishable from Bachmann or Perry.
I’m trying like hell to care, because Palin’s parody potential is unlimited. But at this point, Barry Manilow has a better chance of beating Obama in 2012.
