The story so far: On an ESPN radio show in Las Vegas, world-renowned brain-case Mike Tyson made some pretty heinous observations regarding Sarah Palin’s alleged date with basketballer Glen Rice. Tucker Carlson posted a clip and transcribed extracts from the show on his Daily Caller news site. Wingnut blogger Dan Riehl promptly accused Carlson of being a sexually-inadequate sissy-boy. Greta Van Susteren followed up by calling Carlson a “pig” on her Fox blog. A frenzy of angry Twittering ensued, culminating in last night’s Greta/Tucker slap-fest.
And, somehow, this is all the fault of media Liberals.
News Hounds kindly points out Greta’s rather spotty record of defending other female celebrities who don’t sign paychecks to her husband.
Given the vast amount of advice for the Democratic Party emanating from rightwingers at the moment and the yearning from some self-described progressives for someone—ANYONE ALREADY!!!!—to primary President Obama, it was only a matter of time before this final solution emerged, which is guaranteed to please them all.
Having so far failed to gain any mainstream traction in his bid to bring down Obama with his long-term birfer campaign, Joseph Farah of WorldNetDaily has a new cunning plan:
Lots of folks are still wondering whether Sarah Palin is going to jump into the 2012 Republican presidential campaign.
But if she really wants to make history, I have a bigger and better idea for her.
...
Brace yourself for a crazy idea.
Joseph, I’ve seen your columns over the past four years. Consider me braced.
Sarah Palin should reregister as a Democrat and announce her intention of seeking the Democratic Party nomination in 2012 over Barack Obama!
Crazy? I told you it was crazy.
But think about it.
How many Republicans nationwide would reregister as Democrats right along with her – temporarily – to support such a bold, unprecedented political move?
How many independents, who might not otherwise participate in primaries at all, would do the same?
How many Democrats, realizing they made a profound mistake in 2008, would vote for Palin?
Here at Rumproast, we’ve largely ignored the Joe McGinnness exposé on Sarah Palin. This isn’t the result of a behind-the-scenes editorial decision—it appears we independently reached the same conclusion, namely, ewwww.
This hasn’t stopped us (well, ME, anyway) from snickering uncontrollably at other bloggers’ treatment of the topic. I just prefer the low-hanging fruit to the rotting tidbits on the ground, this week anyway.
However, unhinged Palindrone Stacy “The Other” McCain just can’t quit McGinniss. I’m not sure exactly which allegations in the book drove the confirmed white supremacist round the bend. Could be the thing about Quitting Bull snorting coke off a 55-gallon drum. I dunno.
Anyway, McCain has a bizarre history of making vague threats of violence against perceived enemies. Like most internet tough guys, he never follows through.
But now he’s gone beyond fantasizing about himself as some pencil-necked wingnut Walter Mitty to spinning fantasies about Todd Palin repeatedly attacking and hospitalizing McGinness. It’s not just a passing fancy either—McCain spun a detailed yarn (that may owe something to “The Legend of Billie Jean”) about Mr. Sarah becoming the subject of a nationwide manhunt for repeatedly pummeling McGinniss as Mrs. Todd rides a wave of vicarious wingnut testosterone to the top of the polls to become the GOP frontrunner. No, really.
McCain is urging fellow Palindrones to contribute to SarahPAC to defray Mr. Palin’s imaginary legal expenses and fund a documentary to chronicle Palin’s imaginary assaults on McGinness. Now, I’m no lawyer. But wouldn’t encouraging violence—even if your imaginary gladiator ignores the encouragement—and funneling money toward a political action committee in connection with repeated calls to violence enter a legal gray area? Like I said, I don’t know. But I suspect the Roberts Court would enshrine it as a perfectly legitimate fundraising tool.
Today is Constitution Day, the day America honors the much-amended pamphlet on government, citizenship, guns and alcohol that doesn’t mention God, anywhere, even once, and nowhere states that a Presidential candidate needs two citizen parents in order to be eligible for election. It’s also a day when a lot of people with flags on sticks pose for patriotic photographs that are even creepier than Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet.
Previously, there had been much online speculation that Palin would announce her candidacy today (the official Constitution Day) or yesterday (the observed Constitution Day)...mostly by people who had previously declared that she would announce on Ronald Reagan’s birthday (February 6) or at her recent Tea Party speech in Indianola (September 3).
But Sarah has not yet announced, because she is the Sun Tzu of not running while appearing to run, the John Boyd of fluidly-adaptable non-runningness, and the Liddell Hart of only running in the minds of her enemies.
Sarah plays Battleship where everyone else plays Uno. She is beyond knowing or second-guessing, and — by most measures — even caring about.
I mean, seriously — does anyone give a shit if she announces between now and the election? I sure don’t. In terms of policy and credibility, she’s indistinguishable from Bachmann or Perry.
I’m trying like hell to care, because Palin’s parody potential is unlimited. But at this point, Barry Manilow has a better chance of beating Obama in 2012.
Is it just me, or is there something fundamentally twisted/stupid/evil about using your theatrical reluctance to run for President to raise money you can’t use to run for President from people you admit in your email are already struggling financially, and won’t have that money to give you if you ever do run for President, and will probably hate you later for making them think they were supporting your campaign for President instead of paying for vinyl bus art and office supplies?
Dear SarahPAC Supporter,
During these tough economic times, struggling families and individuals across America need leadership and solutions. In his address to Congress last week, our President offered only recycled proposals that have been proven to fail.
Increasing spending and expanding government control over the lives of hardworking Americans is not the solution to our broken economy. Mortgaging the future of our children and grandchildren will not ensure a better situation today, but it will ensure greater burdens in the future.
With the Presidential election right around the corner, Governor Palin has to make the important decision of whether or not to run for office. You’ve supported SarahPAC’s past efforts to defeat Obama liberals across the country, and I’m asking for your help again.
Let’s show Governor Palin that she has our support as she faces this crucial decision!
Jeez Louise made waves last week for sagely parsing Rick Perry’s insistence that Social Security is a “Ponzi Scheme” and “a monstrous lie.” According to Palin, “What Rick Perry was trying to say, I believe, is that there needs to be reform.”
Sarah’s fans lauded her mature statesmanship in gently correcting Perry’s use of “irresponsible rhetoric.” Surely, Palin the Master Politician would never use over-the-top, old-folks-panicking, not-ready-for-prime-time words like “Ponzi scheme” to describe a venerable program that benefits millions of American voters seniors.
Except that she did, just last May, at 10:53 in this interview with Greta:
Not important. Just funny. And even funnier because it was a commenter at one of the Palin sites who spotted this first, else I’d I’ve never known.
The Tea Party’s own Madame Defarge shares her thoughts about last night’s debate with her ebullient press agent Greta Van Susteren:
Somewhat shorter Snowflake Snooki:
The other candidates are no Sarah Palins. Also, too, I invented the Tea Party, originated the concept of rooting out government waste, totally thunk up shrinking the size of government and conceived and birthed the notion that free enterprise is the best thing since moose meatballs all by myself.
So when you hear any other GOP candidate talking about these things, it’s like they’re totally licking my feet through my peep-toe sling-backs. Hahaha! It tickles in such a good way that I might just keep doing this forever. Unless Jesus tells me to run.
Certainly, she’s prepping her hunter’s thumbs to let fly a poisoned Tweet right after tonight’s address, but with her own side mocking her means of delivery, it looks more like she’s playing with a poisoned boomerang. And if the American Artemis morphs into nothing more than the American Airhorn, what am I going to do with alltheseBlingees?
Has anyone seen heavy-rotation promo spots on cable? What about shelf-headers or free-standing kiosks at Walmart? Billboards? Happy Meals?
So far, all I can find is this. And once you strip away all the obligatory PR fluff, it sounds like Sarah’s movie is getting the same treatment as Beastmaster 12 and Star Trek: The Musical:
After methodically analyzing the most effective ways to bring this galvanizing film to the widest audience as soon as possible we have determined that Video-on-Demand, Pay-Per-View and DVD sales will be the best modalities by which to deliver this film as widely and as quickly as possible.
Yeah, well, since it sucked air in theaters, I guess that’s all you got left, ain’t it? Duh.
Pre-GOP debate circular firing squad alert! Erick Son of Erick at RedState:
For the past year, Palin fans have become an online fixture with more venom and insanity than the most rabid Ron Paul fan. They have not evangelized on behalf of Sarah Palin trying to lead people to Sarah Palin, they have freaked a lot of us out.
I am at the point of fearing that should Palin not get in the race we’re going to have a Hale Bopp moment with many of her most ardent supporters. These people have become too emotionally invested in one person to discuss that person rationally or even to address serious policy concerns.
[snip]
Unfortunately, as I found out and as others are starting to find out, moving on from Sarah Palin is like leaving Scientology.
To not bow at the throne of Sarah you get disowned. You get attacked. You have people drum up stories attacking your credibility.
Eventually, Jeez Louise had to field a Grand Unified Theory to rationalize her various attacks on Obama as a (1) Redistributionist, (2) Union Thug and (3) Crony Capitalist. As you’d expect, it’s a rather gymnastic exercise, with a huge “degree-of-diffculty” multiplier for positing an altogether novel form of à la carte Monarchofascunism:
This collusion is at the heart of Obama’s economic vision for America. In practice it is socialism for the very rich and the very poor, but a brutal form of capitalism for the rest of us. It is socialism for the very poor who are reduced to a degrading perpetual dependence on a near-bankrupt centralized government to provide their every need, while at the same time robbing them of that which brings fulfillment and success – the life-affirming pride that comes from taking responsibility for your own destiny and building a better life through self-initiative and work ethic. And Obama’s vision is socialism via crony capitalism for the very rich who continue to get bailouts, debt-ridden “stimulus” funds, and special favors that allow them to waive off or help draft the burdensome regulations that act as a boot on the neck to small business owners who don’t have the same friends in high places. And where does this collusion leave working class Americans and the small business owners who create 70% of the jobs in this country? Out in the cold. It’s you and your children who are left paying for the cronyism of Obama and our permanent political class in DC.
Quite a Commie prick, for a guy who extended the Bush tax cuts in their entirety, just so’s the Middle Class could keep their rates. And what kind of devious motherfucker goes to bat for Middle Class Union Thugs whilst simultaneously palling around with their union-hating management? And what about those temporary selective waivers of Obamacare compliance that, ready or not, end in 2014? And don’t even get me started on extended Unemployment Benefits for slackers who don’t even have a job.
Oh, and leave us not forget that Obama hails from the same state as Abraham Lincoln:
We should not forget that for all his lofty rhetoric, President Obama is a Chicago politician. Graft, cronyism, and quid pro quo are the well-known methods of an infamous Chicago political machine, of [sic] which Barack Obama emerged. This corruption isn’t just the result of a few bad apples. It’s the nature of a skewed system that’s typical of one not allowing a level playing field.
Jeez Louise just finished a short, grating medley of her Greatest Sound Bites to a crowd at the Tea Party Express rally in Manchester, NH. It included arena-concert fave “Only Dead Fish Go With the Flow” as well as her latest release “Crony Capitalism.”
It was a lot like Saturday’s speech in Iowa, minus the “5-Point Plan” for economic recovery. In fact, it was a lot like every other speech she’s ever given on the Tea Party stump, at least as far back as the Searchlight, NV gathering in February 2010.
Highlight: At one point, there seemed to be some commotion in the audience — possibly a heckler — after which a group of fans began to chant “Run, Sarah Run.” Palin promptly quashed the display with an awkward “I appreciate your encouragement,” before quickly resuming her prepared remarks.
I’ll post the video when it becomes available, even though it’s probably not worth torturing yourself to watch. Carry on.
[UPDATE:] Well, here’s a chunk of it, anyway. Probably all you need:
Amy Siskind’s PUMA front organization, The New Agenda, styles itself as a nonpartisan women’s group that is dedicated to calling out sexism wherever it’s found. But Siskind got so caught up in lady-fapping over Palin’s lame-ass speech yesterday that she kinda forgot she’s always supposed to be “searching for sexism.”
Today, Siskind approvingly linked a Mooney Times column by unfunny wingnut troglodyte Eric Golub—the dude from yesterday’s rally in Iowa who made the tasteless joke about Trig Palin. Golub repeats the “joke,” which slams Democratic women—including Hillary Clinton—in the column Siskind links:
[T]he left should worship Sarah Palin and adopt her as one of their own, because the leftist haters are an entire political ideology of special needs children.
...and unlike Trig, they aren’t very lovable…
Every word out of their mouths is ‘gimme, gimme, I need, I need, I want, I deserve, I’m entitled’...no you don’t.
When you’re four years old it’s mildly adorable. When you’re 64 like Barbara Boxer, Hillary Clinton, or the Pelosiraptor, it is intolerable.”
Siskind’s organization has been anti-Obama and anyone who supports him from its inception. Still, it’s a bit surprising that Siskind would overlook a slam on her former idol Hillary Clinton.
Remember, this is the same Siskind who concluded that President Obama is a sexist monster because he once used the word “periodically.” If a Democrat had directed remarks like the above toward Palin or Bachmann, Siskind would be in an ear-splitting snit all over Fox News. But since Golub shares Siskind’s creepy, worshipful attitude toward Palin, it’s all good.
This morning, athletic former elected official Sarah Palin showed participants in a “1/2 marathon” at Storm Lake, Iowa how to “run an unconventional race” by wearing a disguise and cutting across residential lawns.
"[W]e wholeheartedly endorse the excellent Rumproast blog" -- Jim Newell, Wonkette
"Mind you, don’t let yourself be trapped dialoging with these guys: truth is their enemy; pyschological warfare and misinformation dissemination is their profession." -- TeaParty.org
