Sarah Palin

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Desperate Repubs Turn to Huckabee for Salvation


I love the smell of desperation in the morning.  Especially when it’s accompanied by just a soupçon of Perry flop sweat.

Yes, Reuters is reporting that “conservative activists” are pleading with Mike Huckabee to mount a white stallion and be their savior.  Despite the fact that he pooh-poohed the idea in an interview with Fox News, “sources” say he’s thinking about it.  He’s also apparently thinking about the fact that he’d have to raise a bundle of money in a very short time so I’m betting that an announcement will not be forthcoming.

And speaking of someone else who’s *not running*, four pundits  recently weighed in on the pressing subject of whether or not Chris Christie is “too fat” to be president.  I kid you not.  The consensus?  “Maybe.  Maybe not.”

In other news of Republican people who are not running for president, Sarah Palin has extended her self imposed deadline of September 30 for *making a decision*.  As it’s been said here and elsewhere “grifters gotta grift”.  Those hapless marks won’t keep clicking that donate button at SarahPac without a little suspense to keep the adrenaline levels up.

Poor Repubs.  They’re running out of time.  Who can they tap next?  What do you guys think?

Posted by marindenver on 10/01/11 at 12:25 PM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Shackled: Palin Fears Presidential Run Would Cramp Her Style

Weird: Starting at about 8:45, Snooki makes a powerful case for sitting out the election, since serious candidates can’t be all free and mavericky and influential and stuff. Sure sounds like she’s decided she’d rather freelance than go through the campaign meatgrinder.

Weirder: She’s apparently unaware that her own PAC is fundraising on the tease that she’s poised to make her “crucial decision.”

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/27/11 at 11:40 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Palin v. McGinniss: There ain’t enough popcorn in the world

Numerous RW blogs are cock-a-hoop at the moment over the news that Sarah Palin’s lawyers have sent a stiff letter to Random House, publishers of Joe McGinniss’s recent exposé The Rogue

I’ll happily go on record right now as saying that among the things I don’t give a damn about when it comes to Palin is who she’s allegedly slept with in the distant past. I barely give a damn about the “babygate” stuff that’s been doing the rounds of certain blogs since 2008, (a) because I have no way of establishing the truth of any allegations myself, (b) I’ve grown more and more impatient with the way it’s been trundling on and on and on for so long and has taken up a lot of people’s time who might be better employed elsewhere, and especially (c) even if she’s ever proven an outright liar about any of this, it probably won’t change that many people’s minds one way or another about her fitness for office or her role as a pundit anyway. Her words and public conduct have done that in spades, and if they don’t convince you, I doubt anything else will.

I’ve no idea what the grand strategy is behind this formal warning letter, beyond providing cover in the face of the challenge from some quarters that if the allegations were untrue, Palin would sue. There’s no injunction in the pipeline as far as I know, and through my work I’m familiar with how excruciatingly careful publishers’ legal departments are over potential libel, especially with predictably explosive subjects like Palin. I’ve actually read more allegations from the book about Palin on Breitbart’s site than I have anywhere else. I haven’t read detailed excerpts of McGinniss’s book, and I probably won’t bother as a lot of it’s beyond snark by this stage, much of it has already been around as rumor over the past three years or so, and my tolerance for things Palin beyond marveling at her continuing status as a punchline for the follies of fame and fandom in politics has steadily dwindled.

But if it does ever go to court, hold onto your hat because there’ll be a daily stream of allegations and revelations, happily broadcast by the media of every political stripe.

I’ll note before I go any further after the fold that Palin’s living in a glass house (suspiciously similar to a certain public building in Wasilla built around that time, but that’s by the by ...), given, among other things, her attempts to smear McGinniss as a peeping tom and pedophile during his time as her next door neighbor. Now that’s what I call slander and libel, but she gets a free pass for that every time she does something similar.

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 09/27/11 at 09:09 AM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinOur Stupid MediaPoliblogsSkull Hampers

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Bill Kristol thinks Chris Christie is the Antichrist


Well, not really. He’s just wrong as usual, this time combining his uniquely wrong insights about both politics and poetry to accidentally imply that New Jersey’s portly guv is The Beast.

Kristol, who as you may recall was instrumental in foisting kooky bumpkin Sarah Palin on an unsuspecting world, looked upon the current GOP field on display during this week’s debate and was appalled by its kookery and mediocrity. In an editorial entitled “Yikes,” Kristol wrote:

Reading the reactions of thoughtful commentators after the stage emptied, talking with conservative policy types and GOP political operatives later last evening and this morning, we know we’re not alone. Most won’t express publicly just how horrified—or at least how demoralized—they are.


The e-mails flooding into our inbox during the evening were less guarded. Early on, we received this missive from a bright young conservative: “I’m watching my first GOP debate…and WE SOUND LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE!!!!” As the evening went on, the craziness receded, and the demoralized comments we received stressed the mediocrity of the field rather than its wackiness.

Not admiring your stitch-work, eh Dr. Frankenstein? My heart. It bleeds for you. Not.

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/24/11 at 09:00 AM

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Campaign T-Shirt Fail

A Palin Facebook fan representing too-clever-by-half wingnut outfitters 2012 Campaign Tees posted a link to their brandy-new design celebrating Snooki’s inevitable decision to run.

I smell Collectors’ Item!

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/22/11 at 10:38 AM

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

When Squirrels Collide

The story so far: On an ESPN radio show in Las Vegas, world-renowned brain-case Mike Tyson made some pretty heinous observations regarding Sarah Palin’s alleged date with basketballer Glen Rice. Tucker Carlson posted a clip and transcribed extracts from the show on his Daily Caller news site. Wingnut blogger Dan Riehl promptly accused Carlson of being a sexually-inadequate sissy-boy. Greta Van Susteren followed up by calling Carlson a “pig” on her Fox blog. A frenzy of angry Twittering ensued, culminating in last night’s Greta/Tucker slap-fest.

And, somehow, this is all the fault of media Liberals.

News Hounds kindly points out Greta’s rather spotty record of defending other female celebrities who don’t sign paychecks to her husband.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/20/11 at 10:59 AM

Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinOur Stupid MediaPoliblogs

Monday, September 19, 2011

At Last! An Obama Primary Challenger We Can All Get Behind


Given the vast amount of advice for the Democratic Party emanating from rightwingers at the moment and the yearning from some self-described progressives for someone—ANYONE ALREADY!!!!—to primary President Obama, it was only a matter of time before this final solution emerged, which is guaranteed to please them all.

Having so far failed to gain any mainstream traction in his bid to bring down Obama with his long-term birfer campaign, Joseph Farah of WorldNetDaily has a new cunning plan:

How Palin could beat Obama now

Lots of folks are still wondering whether Sarah Palin is going to jump into the 2012 Republican presidential campaign.

But if she really wants to make history, I have a bigger and better idea for her.
Brace yourself for a crazy idea.

Joseph, I’ve seen your columns over the past four years. Consider me braced.

Sarah Palin should reregister as a Democrat and announce her intention of seeking the Democratic Party nomination in 2012 over Barack Obama!

Crazy? I told you it was crazy.

But think about it.

How many Republicans nationwide would reregister as Democrats right along with her – temporarily – to support such a bold, unprecedented political move?

How many independents, who might not otherwise participate in primaries at all, would do the same?

How many Democrats, realizing they made a profound mistake in 2008, would vote for Palin?

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 09/19/11 at 01:27 PM

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Let’s You and Him Fight


Here at Rumproast, we’ve largely ignored the Joe McGinnness exposé on Sarah Palin. This isn’t the result of a behind-the-scenes editorial decision—it appears we independently reached the same conclusion, namely, ewwww.

This hasn’t stopped us (well, ME, anyway) from snickering uncontrollably at other bloggers’ treatment of the topic. I just prefer the low-hanging fruit to the rotting tidbits on the ground, this week anyway.

However, unhinged Palindrone Stacy “The Other” McCain just can’t quit McGinniss. I’m not sure exactly which allegations in the book drove the confirmed white supremacist round the bend. Could be the thing about Quitting Bull snorting coke off a 55-gallon drum. I dunno.

Anyway, McCain has a bizarre history of making vague threats of violence against perceived enemies. Like most internet tough guys, he never follows through.

But now he’s gone beyond fantasizing about himself as some pencil-necked wingnut Walter Mitty to spinning fantasies about Todd Palin repeatedly attacking and hospitalizing McGinness. It’s not just a passing fancy either—McCain spun a detailed yarn (that may owe something to “The Legend of Billie Jean”) about Mr. Sarah becoming the subject of a nationwide manhunt for repeatedly pummeling McGinniss as Mrs. Todd rides a wave of vicarious wingnut testosterone to the top of the polls to become the GOP frontrunner. No, really.

McCain is urging fellow Palindrones to contribute to SarahPAC to defray Mr. Palin’s imaginary legal expenses and fund a documentary to chronicle Palin’s imaginary assaults on McGinness. Now, I’m no lawyer. But wouldn’t encouraging violence—even if your imaginary gladiator ignores the encouragement—and funneling money toward a political action committee in connection with repeated calls to violence enter a legal gray area? Like I said, I don’t know. But I suspect the Roberts Court would enshrine it as a perfectly legitimate fundraising tool.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/18/11 at 09:32 AM

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Palin Wisely Still Not Running

Today is Constitution Day, the day America honors the much-amended pamphlet on government, citizenship, guns and alcohol that doesn’t mention God, anywhere, even once, and nowhere states that a Presidential candidate needs two citizen parents in order to be eligible for election. It’s also a day when a lot of people with flags on sticks pose for patriotic photographs that are even creepier than Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet.

Previously, there had been much online speculation that Palin would announce her candidacy today (the official Constitution Day) or yesterday (the observed Constitution Day)...mostly by people who had previously declared that she would announce on Ronald Reagan’s birthday (February 6) or at her recent Tea Party speech in Indianola (September 3).

But Sarah has not yet announced, because she is the Sun Tzu of not running while appearing to run, the John Boyd of fluidly-adaptable non-runningness, and the Liddell Hart of only running in the minds of her enemies.

Sarah plays Battleship where everyone else plays Uno. She is beyond knowing or second-guessing, and — by most measures — even caring about.

I mean, seriously — does anyone give a shit if she announces between now and the election? I sure don’t. In terms of policy and credibility, she’s indistinguishable from Bachmann or Perry. 

I’m trying like hell to care, because Palin’s parody potential is unlimited. But at this point, Barry Manilow has a better chance of beating Obama in 2012.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/17/11 at 05:09 PM

Categories: NewsPoliticsBarack ObamaElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Palin Uses Presidential Tease to Raise Money for Her Non-Campaign PAC

Is it just me, or is there something fundamentally twisted/stupid/evil about using your theatrical reluctance to run for President to raise money you can’t use to run for President from people you admit in your email are already struggling financially, and won’t have that money to give you if you ever do run for President, and will probably hate you later for making them think they were supporting your campaign for President instead of paying for vinyl bus art and office supplies?

Dear SarahPAC Supporter,

During these tough economic times, struggling families and individuals across America need leadership and solutions. In his address to Congress last week, our President offered only recycled proposals that have been proven to fail.

Increasing spending and expanding government control over the lives of hardworking Americans is not the solution to our broken economy. Mortgaging the future of our children and grandchildren will not ensure a better situation today, but it will ensure greater burdens in the future.

With the Presidential election right around the corner, Governor Palin has to make the important decision of whether or not to run for office. You’ve supported SarahPAC’s past efforts to defeat Obama liberals across the country, and I’m asking for your help again.

Let’s show Governor Palin that she has our support as she faces this crucial decision!

read the whole post »

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/14/11 at 12:56 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Palin: Social Security Was a Ponzi Scheme, Until It Wasn’t

Jeez Louise made waves last week for sagely parsing Rick Perry’s insistence that Social Security is a “Ponzi Scheme” and “a monstrous lie.” According to Palin, “What Rick Perry was trying to say, I believe, is that there needs to be reform.”

Sarah’s fans lauded her mature statesmanship in gently correcting Perry’s use of “irresponsible rhetoric.” Surely, Palin the Master Politician would never use over-the-top, old-folks-panicking, not-ready-for-prime-time words like “Ponzi scheme” to describe a venerable program that benefits millions of American voters seniors.

Except that she did, just last May, at 10:53 in this interview with Greta:

Not important. Just funny. And even funnier because it was a commenter at one of the Palin sites who spotted this first, else I’d I’ve never known.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/13/11 at 05:07 PM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggery

The only debate assessment that matters

The Tea Party’s own Madame Defarge shares her thoughts about last night’s debate with her ebullient press agent Greta Van Susteren:

Somewhat shorter Snowflake Snooki:

The other candidates are no Sarah Palins. Also, too, I invented the Tea Party, originated the concept of rooting out government waste, totally thunk up shrinking the size of government and conceived and birthed the notion that free enterprise is the best thing since moose meatballs all by myself.

So when you hear any other GOP candidate talking about these things, it’s like they’re totally licking my feet through my peep-toe sling-backs. Hahaha! It tickles in such a good way that I might just keep doing this forever. Unless Jesus tells me to run.

And you can’t slap a time table on Jesus.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/13/11 at 06:55 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '12NuttersSarah PalinTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Love Story That Just Won’t Quit!


Investigative reporter Howard Decker’s done it this time. He’s asking the question only the strong of stomach would dare:


You know they were young and pretty.
You know they were in Hawaii at the exact same time.
You know they both can drive to the net.

read the whole post »

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 09/12/11 at 11:30 AM

Categories: Knee SlappersPoliticsBarack ObamaNuttersSarah Palin

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Damn, I’m Going To Miss Her!


After yesterday’s lambasting by EpoEponymous Boy, her absence was not even felt at last night’s GOPapalooza MittRick Beatdown and Rib-stickin’ event.  Every day, America’s Artemis seems to be losing more arrows from her once overstuffed quiver, despite her moon maidens’ ritual sacrifices.

Certainly, she’s prepping her hunter’s thumbs to let fly a poisoned Tweet right after tonight’s address, but with her own side mocking her means of delivery, it looks more like she’s playing with a poisoned boomerang. And if the American Artemis morphs into nothing more than the American Airhorn, what am I going to do with all these Blingees?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 09/08/11 at 02:05 PM

Categories: ImagesMessylaneousPoliticsNuttersSarah PalinSkull Hampers

Multi-Million Dollar Promotion of Palin’s “Undefeated” Seems to Be a Free Press Release

We were promised a “multi-million dollar” marketing rollout of Steve Bannon’s The Undefeated, a film which so far has only earned $116,381 in theatrical release.

Has anyone seen heavy-rotation promo spots on cable? What about shelf-headers or free-standing kiosks at Walmart? Billboards? Happy Meals?

So far, all I can find is this. And once you strip away all the obligatory PR fluff, it sounds like Sarah’s movie is getting the same treatment as Beastmaster 12 and Star Trek: The Musical:

After methodically analyzing the most effective ways to bring this galvanizing film to the widest audience as soon as possible we have determined that Video-on-Demand, Pay-Per-View and DVD sales will be the best modalities by which to deliver this film as widely and as quickly as possible.

Yeah, well, since it sucked air in theaters, I guess that’s all you got left, ain’t it? Duh.

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/08/11 at 12:25 AM

Categories: MoviesMovie NewsPoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

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