After eight years of a Texas gunslinger with a paranoid sidekick, each of whom has been unconventional in both foreign and domestic policy, some bright person in the McCain campaign thinks the maverick brand is a good one.
Let’s run with that.
It’s in the news that McCain and Palin want to “restructure” Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Does that mean they want to ‘maverickize’ it? Palin says she is personally going to Washington to “reform” it. Does that mean she is going to ‘maverickize’ it?
Perhaps anytime the Republicans use a word that begins with “re” we should substitute ‘maverickize’ in its place.
The McCain campaign does Bush and Cheney proud. When you encounter something and you don’t know what to do, blow it up—- maverickize it.
To: Charles Gibson, ABC News From: Rick Davis, McCain Campaign Manager Subject: Upcoming interview with Governor Palin
Charlie, as we discussed, this interview is granted only on the condition that you treat Governor Palin with respect and deference. As a reminder, we’re granting access to the governor over a series of interviews; if you launch into a hatchet job like you and your pal Stephanopolis pulled on Obama during one of the final Clinton-Obama debates (check’s in the mail), you’ll find your access denied. Remember – we’ve always got Fox News.
Anyway, to help acclimate you to your new role as McCain campaign surrogate, here is a list of pre-approved questions for use in your upcoming interview. Please stick to the script:
Governor, the McCain campaign, which has consistently battled the scurrilous sexism of the left-wing media, declined to allow this interview until you were “comfortable.” Are you comfortable now? Would you like a blanket? Can I bring you some lemonade?
Governor, I’m going to ask you a question that’s of utmost importance to all Americans: Is John McCain as heroic and mavericky in person as he is on TV?
There’s a controversy surrounding one of aspect of your life in Alaska, America’s mavericky frontier. Please settle it for us once and for all – do you like A1 Steak Sauce or Heinz 57 on mooseburgers?
Governor, every American man, woman and child was riveted by John McCain’s war stories and account of his life as a POW during the recent Republican National Convention. As we all know, he’s very reluctant to talk about that aspect of his life. In fact, it’s been reported that campaign operatives have to beat President McCain (heh, I mean Presidential Candidate McCain, heh) with bamboo sticks to compel him to talk about his war experiences – he’s that reluctant to discuss them. What is your favorite McCain imprisonment or war story?
Another controversy that has been widely reported in the far-left media concerns your disposal of a state-owned jet when you took office as governor. Can you detail your plan to auction Air Force Two on eBay and wipe out the national debt when you become Vice President?
Governor, the American people are fed up with pork-barrel spending and government waste. As we all know, you heroically told congress to stick those Bridge to Nowhere funds where the sun don’t shine and cleaned up government operations in Alaska. A two-part question on that: How does it feel to co-lead a revolution in government with a mavericky war hero? Secondly, what steps will you and President McCain take to ensure the Democrats don’t once again seize power and run up deficit spending?
As you know, Barack Obama’s baby mama has been a controversial figure, making statements on the campaign trail that some have interpreted as the loony blather of a wild-eyed black nationalist. I’d like a one-word answer to this question: Have you always been proud to be an American?
Possible Black Panther Michelle Obama has some interesting associations in her past life. So does your husband, Todd Palin. Can you tell us about his ties to the snowmobile racing circuit?
Governor, you’ve been subjected to the most base, disgusting speculation in the Marxist media that dominates this country. We’ve witnessed the most indecent invasion of a politician’s private life in the history of the United States. To close our interview, I’d like to make a symbolic gesture of atonement as an American journalist, a gesture that will be familiar to hockey moms – and pit bulls – nationwide. As you see, I’ve brought a special “McCain-Palin” hockey stick with me. As I stand here before you in a Larry Craig wide stance, please take this hockey stick and hit me in the nuts with it as hard as you can. C’mon Governor, give it your best shot.
Charlie, please don’t worry about the last part of the script. As you know, your testicles are safely in the possession of the McCain campaign as a condition of our granting you this exclusive interview, so it won’t hurt a bit. Best of luck with the interview, and as I mentioned, the check’s in the mail.
While the traditional media and many writers in Blogilla (noun: online blogger community at large, also known as Blogistan, Blogosphere, Blogtopia, etc; the online version of the definitive American community, Wasilla, Alaska) undertake the process to deconstruct the enormous bullshit that is Sarah Palin, mecontemplates whether another approach might be worthy of consideration.
What is the worst case scenario that could happen with Sarah Palin as Vice President? I’m not outrageous enough to suggest that John McCain, if elected, will set a record for the shortest presidency ever. But what if he ties the record and croaks one month after taking office, as William Henry Harrison did?
In that case, Sarah Palin will become President of the United States by February. If McCain lasts as long as the second shortest presidency, Palin will be the leader of the free world by June. If the old sack of embalming fluid succumbs as soon after taking office as Zachary Taylor did, Palin will have her finger on the button by summer of 2010.
Cheesus-fucking-velveeta on a whole grain baguette, who fucked America with this impetuous and risky maneuver by putting a self-proclaimed hockey mom on the presidential ticket?
Not Sarah Palin. She’s just a power-drunk fundie being herself in America’s heartland, Wasilla, Alaska. No, this deed is solely owned by John McCain, the man who’s never been the leader of anything in his freaking life.
An idea is that instead of chasing down Sarah Palin to ask her what she would do as President, and instead of trying to get in her dirty panties to debunk all the lies she told at the convention (her peeps don’t even care about the lies anyway), everyone should ask John McCain what Sarah Palin will do as President.
Ask McCain precisely how Palin will handle Ahmadinejad. Ask McCain what specific steps Palin will take if the U.S. experiences spiraling inflation with record job losses—a very real possibility. Ask McCain exactly what Palin will do if Putin has no soul after all. Ask McCain what Sarah Palin will do about Roe v. Wade.
Ask John McCain all the questions.
It was he who fucked America, not Sarah Palin.
Ask him for an interview and hold him accountable for all the unknowns about his running mate.
Hardly anyone one can beat Joe Biden when it comes to expressing righteous anger. This Jed Report video has been posted everywhere, but I haven’t seen it picked up widely by the media yet, who are too busy doing reports about how there’s be a run on people wanting to buy Sarah Palin’s shitty eyeglass frames.
Peggy Noonan, who literally called bullshit on McCain for choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate right before The Speech, is now a convert. Why? Palin put Noonan in danger of soiling her granny panties in the same way St. Ronnie did a couple of decades back: Palin is just so gosh darned American:
Much has been said about her speech, but a few points. “The difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull? Lipstick” is pure American and goes straight into Bartlett’s. This is the authentic sound of the American mama, of every mother you know at school who joins the board, reads the books, heads the committee, and gets the show on the road. These women make large portions of America work.
She has the power of the normal. There is something so normal about her, so “You’ve met this person before and you like her.”
Speak for yourself, Pegs. I have met this woman before, but I don’t like her. She’s not the one who reads the books – she’s the one who tries to get them banned, or, failing that, tries to shit-can the librarian who won’t knuckle under.
She’s one of the many power-mad mombies who elbow their way to the top of the trash heap that is most small-town PTA organizations and then go on to intimidate city councils and run roughshod over school boards in an eternal quest to stamp communities with their particular brand of morality.
She’s the braying jackass who insists on giving Genesis equal time with Charles Darwin in biology class and wants to make sure no 3rd grader is ever corrupted by Heather and Her Two Mommies and that no middle-school student takes in the subversive message of The Catcher in the Rye. She’s Beulah from Field of Dreams:
BEULAH: Your husband plowed under his corn and built a baseball field. The weirdo.
ANNIE: At least he is not a book-burner, you Nazi cow.
BEULAH: At least I’m not married to the biggest horse’s ass in three counties.
ANNIE: All right, Beulah, do you want to step outside?
ANNIE: All right, I’ve got a better idea. Let’s take a vote. Who’s for Eva Braun? Who wants to burn books? Who wants to spit on the Constitution of the United States of America? Anybody? All right. Now, who’s for the Bill of Rights? Who thinks freedom is a pretty darn good thing? Come on! Let’s see those hands! Who thinks we have to stand up to the kind of censorship they had under Stalin? All right. There you go. America, I love you. I’m proud of you.
Yeah, I’m in the PTA, and I know the Beulah-Palin type alright. True story: each year, my kid’s elementary school takes a yearbook photo in which all of the kids come together on a field wearing shirts of some pre-determined color to form a message or picture, which is photographed from high atop the school. One year it was an American flag (my kid was part of a red stripe). One year it was the school’s initials.
And one year – about three years ago—the principal proposed that the kids form a peace sign. This came up during a PTA meeting, and our own contingent of Sarah Palins flipped out. A slap in the face to our troops! A political message against our glorious leader, George W. Bush! A capitulation to Osama bin Laden himself! It was unbelievable.
The poor principal, backed up by a few moms (including yours truly), tried to explain that peace wasn’t exactly a controversial subject. But the Palins and Beulahs wouldn’t budge. Rather than sit in undersized elementary school cafeteria chairs and argue about it all night, the principal and teachers proposed that the students form the school mascot – a dolphin – instead. In that year’s photo, it looks like an amoeba.
So yeah, I know Palin, alright. And the thought of her being an erratic 72-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency scares the living shit out of me.
Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman is among several national security experts helping brief Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin on foreign policy issues as she prepares to hit the campaign trail while cramming for a debate with her Democratic opponent, Sen. Joseph R. Biden Jr. (Del.), in less than a month, according to officials from Sen. John McCain’s campaign.
Lieberman, who was the 2000 Democratic vice presidential nominee but is now an independent, has helped introduce Palin to officials of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, the leading pro-Israel lobby. In a meeting Tuesday, the day before she delivered her prime-time address at the Republican National Convention here, Palin assured the group of her strong support for Israel, of her desire to see the United States move its embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem and of her opposition to Iran’s aspirations to become a nuclear power, according to sources familiar with the meeting.
The exchange offered a brief glimpse into the views of the one-term governor of Alaska, who has virtually no record on foreign policy and has not traveled extensively outside the United States. As governor, she made two foreign trips last summer, one of which was to Canada. On the second, sponsored by the Pentagon, she traveled to Kuwait and Germany—and made a short stop at a “military outpost” in Iraq—to visit members of the Alaska National Guard deployed there, according to Palin spokeswoman Maria Comella. Comella added that Palin may have visited Mexico on a personal trip.
Campaign officials and McCain foreign policy advisers called Palin a quick study who has sound judgment that will serve her in good stead on national security issues. But privately, some in the GOP foreign policy establishment voiced concern that McCain has turned to a relative neophyte on national security matters at a time when the United States is facing challenges ranging from wars in Iraq and Afghanistan to the nuclear activities of Iran and North Korea.
“Her speech wowed the pro-family and anti-tax groups, but can she handle complex foreign and defense policy decision-making?” asked one leading conservative foreign policy thinker who is concerned. He spoke on the condition of anonymity so as not to be publicly critical of the pick.
Democrats offered a more scathing assessment. “As much as Joe Lieberman might be trying to give her an information dump on what he knows, he can’t infuse her with the expertise that she’s sorely lacking,” Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (Fla.) said in an interview, adding that vice presidents often serve as foreign emissaries during international crises. “The problem with her lack of foreign policy experience is she’s running with a man who’s 72 years old and, God forbid something happens to him, it’s frightening because this is someone who would have the tiller of America’s foreign policy.”
Noting that the vice president sits on the National Security Council, Wasserman Schultz added: “What advice could Palin possibly offer McCain? There might as well be an empty seat at the table.”
John McCain / Rosetta Stone ‘08 ... Cramming Our Way Into the 21st Century.
UPDATE: Barack Obama on The O’Reilly Factor tonight (8PM ET). I caught his quick press conference after he completed taping the show and he was on fire, so I think it should be good. I’ll post a video of the presser if I can find a video of it.
Here you go…
Video (and related article) here if the embed doesn’t work for you.
I don’t know if we were the first blog to compare Sarah Palin to Marge Gunderson, but we rolled with it right after her selection was announced (see “new category” update). Glad to see it’s catching on. This is brilliant:
Sarah “Lipstick on a Prig” Palin, who doesn’t think global warming is manmade and, apparently, wants to drill the fuck out of every square inch of America, tossed this little hunk o’ red meat out to the crowd last night:
What does [Barack Obama] actually seek to accomplish, after he’s done turning back the waters and healing the planet?
A 19-square-mile (50 kilometers) ice shelf attached to an island in Canada’s northern arctic for thousands of years has broken from land, another sign of the effect of global warming, scientists said.
Nearly the size of Manhattan, the 4,500-year-old Markham Ice Shelf separated from Ellesmere Island in early August and is now floating in the Arctic Ocean, said Luke Copeland, director of the Laboratory for Cryospheric Research at the University of Ottawa.
Copeland and fellow researchers were watching the ice shelf, which is about as tall as a 10-story building, using satellite imagery when cloud cover blocked the region for five days. When visibility returned, the mass was gone
Sarah Palin, Mother Earth hates the living piss out of you.
Let’s be honest about what we saw: a woman who was thrust into the presidential race in a farce worthy of Preston Sturges, reciting a speech written by Matthew Scully, faking as hard as she could fake, and lying as fast as she could lie.
Starting tomorrow, the Democrats can and must come back hard on this issue of “reform”. McCain/Palin reform is just ... well, there’s nothing. It’s an overused phrase but it is all rhetoric. Not only has their party been in power for 8 years. But every policy pushed by John McCain is the one embraced by George Bush. Economic policy, tax policy, Iraq policy, social issues, Bush style politicking, everything. I’m not sure how many people agree with me. But I think the rhetorical ‘reform’ of McCain/Palin is like a big, imposing and very brittle vase. A few good hits and it’ll break apart in a thousand pieces.
They’ve been in power for eight years. They support all of Bush’s policies. And they say they’re bringing reform? Smack it with ridicule and an undertone of contempt and it will fall right apart.
No wonder they’re cool with eighty-seven year-old former prisoner of war John McCain as President for the brief fourteen moths he has left on God’s Green Earth before a renegade freckle goes Judas on him and drops him like a fainting goat that will never ever get up. He was, like, the youngest person there, besides that snowbilly family they found wandering around the Mall of America looking for the fried sugar stand.
Sarah Palin was smug, mean-spirited, and small-town nasty which should help shore up the evangelical base. Like Maud Flanders, those trips to Bible camp to learn to be more judgmental have really paid off ....
Judging a speech like this, it’s probably best to consider the goals and the audience. Going into the speech, I expected Palin to try to connect to a mainstream audience, demonstrating competence, credibility, and readiness. She already enjoys the support of the GOP base; Palin has to work on convincing everyone else.
And yet, she (or, more accurately, the McCain campaign aides who wrote her speech) went in a different direction, aiming to shore up the party’s base even more. Instead of seriousness, Palin went for biting and sarcastic partisanship. Instead of presenting herself as a trustworthy leader, Palin proved herself an attack-dog ideologue. Instead of answering questions about readiness, she answered questions about who she hates and how much. Palin not only steered clear of the concerns of swing voters, she practically thumbed her nose at them.
GOP: Is this the hill you want to die on? You do realize, I hope, that a lot of people who saw last night’s speeches, those who aren’t already predisposed to vote for McCain, will hear you slag community organizers and think, “Gosh, what a bunch of fucking assholes.”
Governor Palin’s address tonight was basically Reba McEntire doing a one-woman show on the life of Phyllis Schlafly. In turning the McCain campaign toward the traditional tactics of Republican politics—that is, fear, contempt, and patriotism—his advisors have also returned the Vice-Presidential role to that of attacker, who does the knife work so the Presidential candidate can remain above it all. But where Dole and Cheney, for example, looked the part, the novelty here was to have it performed by a young woman who dispensed her put-downs with the cheery sangfroid of a particularly vicious sewing-circle lady. She could afford, then, to be casual in dispensing her assaults, not only because the crowd had built up a froth of hatred against her enemies (whom, from the frequency and vigor of their booing, they must imagine to be everyone except themselves), but also because a large part of the audience probably thought it was not vicious, but cute. She’s certainly easier to take than the fist-clenching Giuliani, who may have been so warmly applauded in part for giving the delegates a good demonstration of how right they were not to have chosen him.
I think some of you are underestimating the percentage of voters for whom Sarah Palin lacks the standing to make this critique of Barack Obama. To many voters, she is either entirely unknown, or is known as an US Weekly caricature of a woman who eats mooseburgers and has a pregnant daughter. To change someone’s opinion, you have to do one of two things. Either, you have to be a trusted voice of authority, or you have to persuade them. Palin is not a trusted voice of authority—she’s much too new. But neither was this a persuasive speech. It was staccato, insistent, a little corny. It preached to the proverbial choir. It was also, as one of my commentors astutely noted, a speech written by a man and for a man, but delivered by a woman, which produces a certain amount of cognitive dissonance.
If you see any other good ones, drop a link in the comments (but please use the second button from the right above the comments box to highlight words and make them links). Oh, and TPM uploaded a video of the Ben Stein diss on Palin that we highlighted yesterday. You can view it here.