As a lead-in to this weekend’s major sporting fixture, the GOP have laid on a little entertainment in Nevada.
Who will win the thing isn’t an issue, the main interest of the evening lying in seeing whether Ron Paul can upset Newt even more than normal by pipping him for second place, and how far down the can Santorum will go.
One minor cliffhanger that might have enlivened proceedings was headed off earlier in the day when it was revealed that Newt was not going to repeat his self-parodic bravura performance from January 31 in Florida by going postal at his concession speech, but would instead hold a press conference to enable him to berate and insult the media to their yellow faces. A ripple ran round various outlets that he might be going to announce the suspension of his campaign. Alas—or YAY!—depending on your perspective, that prospect now seems a non-starter.
No, this is not a flight of fancy. As I buried in another post, you really can buy a Susan B. Komen gun. What you choose to bury is entirely your business. I’m not saying a thing.
Yes, the Ambassador would like us to know she means to preserve as many of us as she can~~but the sacred bio-essence passing through these portals must be preserved! A number of us may have to be sacrificed, but the bio-essence must be maintained! Come to Pink, children. Want Pink. Don’t turn from Pink. You… need…Pink.
Or, not. So glad I never went for the Pink Kitchen-Aid Mixer. Bundling that thing up and shipping it off to almost-Governor Handel wouldn’t have been a satisfying protest, but not buying it sure is!
Update: did I say Kitchen-Aid Mixer? Pah! Komen be Barnhardtin’! *
Hard are the privations suffered by those in the fight to stem the Brown Tide threatening to overflow this great land of ours. Here we see Governor Jan “Bulwark” Brewer, putting the funds she raised to fight illegal immigration to good use, investigating appalling rumors of theivery and beheadings at the Waldorf-Astoria in Orlando, Florida.
Before her recent triumphal tour as an advocate for chutzpah-awareness, Governor Brewer’s JAN-PAC had amassed a grand 22K, three quarters of which is still safely banked. The rest went for the above fact-finding, um, night—$625, and the remainder, (pardon the expression, Governor) to buying the Governor’s own book, Breakfast For Scorpions, sorry, Scorpions For Breakfast.
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer has issues, of that there is no doubt. The fact that they go beyond the political will come as no surprise. Let’s compare the billet doux she presented to President Obama during that infamous Tantrum on the Tarmac last week (the text of Brewer’s letter is in bold below), in the light of the appeal now published on her PAC’s website (in italics), and no doubt landing with a needy squelch in inboxes around AZ.
Welcome to Arizona!
When I met President Obama this week, I really wasn’t pointing at him. I was telling him, “You have ONE more year!” The President needs to be reminded that he is the President of the FEDERAL REPUBLIC and not a KING lording over state governors.
You’ve arrived in a state at the forefront of America’s recovery—and her future. We were at the brink. We were at the bottom of the list in job creation. Today, we have a balanced budget and we’re in the top 10 for job creation.
I’m proud of that hard-won recovery—the result of many tough decisions, courage and perseverance.
While I wanted to talk to him about jobs, our economy and visiting our border, President Obama criticized my book, Scorpions for Breakfast, and then walked away from me.
My hope is while you are here you will have a chance to see our tremendous results first hand.
We both love this great country, but we fundamentally disagree on how to best make America grow & prosper once again. I’d love an opportunity to share with you how we’ve been able to turn Arizona around with hard choices that turned out to be the right ones.
We deserve results over rhetoric, ...
And, of course, my offer to visit the border—and buy lunch—still stands!
... but this is a President who had the audacity to sue me and Arizona in my efforts to protect our country from illegal immigration!
With respect,
Donate today to Jan PAC and help me stop President Obama in 2012 and others like him who are taking our country down the wrong path.
Now no fingerpointing! It’s not as if the Governor is the first Arizona Tealoon to turn a tidy profit on her untidy relationship with the truth. So the Governor has managed to massage her encounter with the President into sales: “Scorpions for Breakfast,” her hilarious political fabulation-a-clef, has zoomed on Amazon from 343,222 to 7. (Thanks TPM) Shall we deny an author the fruits of the sweat of her tongue?
But now to the news I know Roastafarians have been on tenterhooks waiting for: the winner of the Kaption This Kaptious Kook Contest and the valuable, one-of-a-kind Jan Brewer Souvenir Hospitality Bottle Cap:
You know it. I know it. And Rick Santorum knows it: the ivy-covered walls of academe are lousy with Obama’s minions, all busily installing Saulinsky chips in the soft malleable brains of the Young. The propensity of these institutions to publish scholarship clearly controverting the received wisdom of the Only Textbook That Counts. This Liberal-tainted “scholarship” only proves their allegiance to Obama and Lucifer the Lightbringer, which is why we must dismiss it and stick to the wisdom of the bravely Judeo-Christian experts who have set up a parallel world of unaccredited universities and peerless (as in non-peer-reviewed) research.
Willard Romney (seen here in his triumphant Florida face-off with Newt Gingrich) came up the hard way~~Papacito was born in Mexico, for Moroni’s sake, and left young Willard nothing, nothing save his good name. Well, the given name Willard lies about, anyway. But let’s not scoff at the scope of Willard’s achievement: his propensity for lying was something Willard had to develop all on his own. Jobs, ads,healthcare, there is no lie too big~~grandiose, if you will~~nor too small for Willard.
But we dast not judge this child of La Raza too harshly; after all, he is probably a little light-headed, paying 50% taxes as he does.
Now who would ever believe Jan Brewer could treat the President uncordially? The Governor wanted a meeting with the President. He told her that her fabulous description (“fabulous” as in “confabulated”) of the last one they had, as portrayed in her searing expose of why Jan Brewer is as awesome as Jan Brewer, Scorpions For Breakfast: My Fight Against Special Interests, Liberal Media, and Cynical Politicos to Secure America’s Border, was, well, not very cordial, and then this thing up here happened. Afterwards, she added to her luster as a wordsmith by calling the President “thin-skinned,” and explained wagging her finger in the President’s face thusly: “I will say that a picture is what it is.” Thankee, Governor!
The RightOSphere is naturally outraged that the President apparently walked away from the Governor while she was in mid-sentence. I say she’s lucky she can still reach the middle letters on her laptop. Any old hoo, it’s a caption contest waiting to happen. Winner gets a souvenir Jan Brewer Hospitality Bottle Cap.
Another day, another unexpected point of agreement with otherwise reprehensible Republican carbuncle Newt Gingrich, now cheerfully bloodying the putative GOP nominee at a Univision-sponsored round table: what a weird, relaxing world Willard Romney inhabits. An Obama-level fantastical world, according to “Moon Miner” Newt (President Obama’s “fantasy” is evidently one Latino voters prefer, incidentally).
Did you hop the roof of a freight train, place your life in the hands of brutal coyotes, or otherwise risk your all and everything to cross the border illegally, only to find you can’t get employment and provide for your family? Just self-deport (which I imagine would go something like this) and reverse the process! You can take a job back home to while away the time while you wait your turn to enter this most greatest nation of all with our collective blessing. Still unsure about whether or how to do it? Here’s a site (H/T Dave Weigel) that can help you take that giant backward step proudly!
Meanwhile, a portion of Mittens’ money somehow has deported itself to pleasant havens like Switzerland and the Cayman Islands, though it was all duly declared——-in the years he let us see, anyway. ; - >
Whoa Nellie! Droopy-eyed bit player and former savior of the GOP Fred Thompson is ready to lay his leathern hand in benediction on one of the survivors of tonight’s steel-cage, charnel-house four-way grudge match (which will of course be live-blogged, either under a spandy-new image, or here, if Mrs. Polly doesn’t get back from her errands in time to put up a new one and no one else is arsed, as they say, to bother). Who will get the Thompson nod, not to be confused with Thompson on the nod? Oh breathless me!
Did the earth move for you last night? To read the pundits this morning, when our bleary eyes crested the pillow we’d been biting through the dark hours before dawn, a new era greeted them, the like of which has never before been witnessed.
The base is revolting because they swept the GOP back into relevance in Washington just under two years ago and they have been thanked with contempt ever since.
(Asshole Assholeson)
The unstoppable force that is Newt Gingrich and the immovable object that is Mitt Romney are headed for a collision in Florida.
(Politico)
A more sober observer, the Atlantic’s Robert Wright, asks:
How did Newt do it? How did a candidate who seemed near death only a week ago rise up to win in South Carolina? He did it the way he always does it: By playing the hate card.
