What an astoundingly well reported story! Kim Priestap at (Cheez)WizBang reports that Barack Obama is buying Michelle one massive, honking, studded with diamonds, and made of freakin rhodium, $30,000 ring as a little “winky, winky” thank you for being there for him the last two years. And then, to prove her point, links to a sight that says he’s NOT buying her one! A little internets research (courtesy of Sadly No!) says this is about as true as the lobster/champagne/Iranian caviar fiasco. As does this. Still, totally undeterred by “facts” she proceeds to chide him and suggest that:
instead of spending $30,000 on a ring, how about instead spending $15,000 on a ring. I’m sure there are some beautiful rings out there in the $15,000 price range that are suitable for his wife and that would adequately show his appreciation and love. Then he can take the other $15,000 and give it to a charity in Michelle’s name. I would recommend Operation Smile. For just $240, a child in a Third World nation can have the surgery needed to correct a cleft palate. With $15,000, 62 children can get the surgery that would give them a beautiful smile and a changed life.
And none of the commenters in any of the items referenced believe it’s not true either! I usually can think of something pithy, scathing and yet still witty :-) to sum up a situation but I am kind of out of words over this.
which doesn’t, um, exist. That we can see. As Marin Cogan recounts in the New Republic:
careful listeners would have noticed a recurring theme of anxiety: that Obama was going to use the newly acquired levers of government to destroy them. Specifically, conservative paranoia over the possible reinstatement of the “fairness doctrine,” a defunct policy requiring that broadcasters allow opposing points of view to be heard over the airwaves, has reached a fevered pitch. In September, George Will was warning his readers that, “unless McCain is president, the government will reinstate the ... ‘fairness doctrine.’” In October, The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page chimed in, predicting that under the spooky-sounding “liberal supermajority,” the fairness doctrine was “likely to be reimposed,” with the goal being “to shut down talk radio and other voices of political opposition.” And, two weeks before the election, the New York Post blasted: “Dems Get Set to Muzzle the Right.”
Then more fuel for the fire - On election day Sen. Chuck Schumer messed with their little minds on Faux News with this statement:
after Fox News host Bill Hemmer cornered him about the issue on the air. Schumer just smirked: “I think we should all try to be fair and balanced, don’t you?”
As part of its plan, Ford announced that the salary of Ford CEO Alan Mulally would be cut to $1 a year if Ford actually borrowed money from the government.
General Motors said that CEO Rick Wagoner also will accept a $1 salary. Chrysler LLC CEO Robert Nardelli agreed during Congressional testimony last month he would also agree to a $1 salary in return for federal help.
Mulally had a base salary of $2 million and total compensation of $21.7 million last year, according to the company’s filings. Wagoner received base pay of $1.6 million and total compensation of $14.4 million. Closely-held Chrysler does not disclose executive pay.
As painful and galling as it is, I get the logic of bailing out the auto industry. But as one of their prospective lenders, I say a condition should be that these rat-bastard CEOs get the heave-ho.
They sucked last year when they received annual compensation ranging from $14M to $21M. Some of them having been stinking up Detroit for more than 10 years, pumping out gas guzzlers and generally shitty cars in the face of looming fuel shortages and competitive forces we’ve known about for decades. They did nothing to address vital issues then, and there’s no reason to believe they’ll be more prescient and competent with a drastic salary reduction.
I could offer to teach calculus for $10 bucks an hour, and any university that hired me would save a shitload in personnel costs. But since I struggle to calculate a 20% tip in my head, it would be a poor bargain. Same thing here. Ford, GM and Chrysler need to kick these bastards to the curb. Then come talk to me about sticking their feedstaw in my wallet.
Yuppie parents have been provided with a new tool to guide offspring earlier onto success path - DNA testing to predict which sports will best suit your kids’ talents! And, yes, I’m citing an article in the NYT but the story originated out of Boulder, CO. Why am I not surprised. Parental quote from the article:
“I could see how some people might think the test would pigeonhole your child into doing fewer sports or being exposed to fewer things, but I still think it’s good to match them with the right activity. I think it would prevent a lot of parental frustration.”
Because it is, of course, all about the parents.
Tweety in 2010? Apparently a Senate run is on his mind (as much as he can be said to have an actual “mind”. The kind that thinks. And listens.) So far I have not signed up to volunteer in the campaign.
Obama rolled out his economic team yesterday, and I thought, “Meh.” I don’t have no steenking PhD in economics from an elitist university and was in fact an English major at a state school with a top-tier football team, but I could do better in the “bold ideas” department. Even if I did have to Google “number zeros trillion” to determine the basis of my plan.
According to Bloomberg, the total tab for the government bailout is approaching the neighborhood of $7 trillion, which is a pretty goddamn swank neighborhood if you ask me. The population of the US is right around 300 million. So what if we told Citigroup, AIG, GM, Ford, et al, to fuck off and instead divided that $7 trillion amongst the citizenry? If I’ve got my zeros right, every man, woman and child would receive upwards of $23K.
We’re focusing today on Mack “MackDaddy” Whittle, longtime CEO of South Financial Group, who pushed up his retirement last month so he could cash out with a $18 million Golden Parachute just before sending his bank hat in hand to the Feds to get $347 million in choice Grade A Prime bailout money.
You don’t have to know too much about complex derivatives or even simple accounting to know that all dollars are fungible. So the more money out to Whittle is more money needed from the taxpayer to keep South Financial Group on its feet.
But we also know Whittle isn’t the only one who’s pulled something like this. And we want to put together a list of everyone who has. It doesn’t have to be precisely like this. Gazillion dollar corporate retreats while you’ve turned your company over to the Treasury Department’s corporate ICU will do fine as well.
So let us know all the examples you can think of.
In the only good news, he tells us in an update that the shareholders are suing to get their money back.
Crappy 80s child actor turned crappy Evangeliban grown-up thespian Kirk Cameron discusses wholesome family films and opines about gay marriage on the Bill-O show:
Bill-O gushes about Cameron’s latest mega-hit with the Christianist set, Fireproof, which took in an astonishing 33% of the take garnered by a movie about talking Chihuahuas and 15% of the weekly haul of a cartoon featuring zoo animals on the lam.
Cheney, Gonzales indicted for alleged prisoner abuse
(CNN)—Vice President Dick Cheney and former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales have been indicted on separate charges related to alleged prisoner abuse in federal detention centers, Willacy County, Texas, District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra told CNN Tuesday.
The indictment stems from Cheney’s investment in the Vanguard Group—an investment management company that reportedly has interests in the prison companies in charge of the detention centers, according to The Associated Press. It also charges Gonzales halted an investigation into abuse at the detention centers while he was attorney general.
… the best part of a Texas indictment is that it can’t be blocked through a Presidential pardon. But we’ll see if “tough-on-crime” Gov. Rick Perry decides to go soft for his powerful friends ...
Betty Cracker‘s last three posts here are perfect examples of why I think she’s one of the sharpest and wittiest writers in the blogosphere. Since I always feel bad piling my posts on top of hers, I’m going to run links to them one more time for folks who missed them the first time around. Enjoy and don’t forget to let Betty know much you love her work in the comments. And if you don’t, what in the hell are you doing here?
Consider yourself fortunate if you’ve never experienced the agony of a corporate “re-branding” exercise, which goes something like this: You’re trapped in a dreary conference room with goofballs from the marketing and sales teams along with a sprinkling of executives, whom the marketing and sales people are desperate to impress.
Generally there’s a ridiculously expensive consultant or two leading the exercise, employing a white board or one of those giant Post-It note pads. The participants are encouraged to offer adjectives that describe the company and embody its promise to its customers. If the company is sucking wind (and it usually is if it’s engaged in re-branding), participants are told to offer “aspirational” adjectives.
Team Obama’s statement on the fate of the perfidious Joe Lieberman has everyone flummoxed. Some say it bodes well for Lieberman. Others say it bodes ill. Some are pissed off at what they see as a capitulation. Let’s unpack the actual statement, shall we?
We aren’t going to referee decisions about who should or should not be a committee chair.
TRANSLATION: Let the Senate deal with the turncoat bastard. We’ve got bigger fish to fry.
President-elect Obama looks forward to working with anyone to move the country forward.
TRANSLATION: If Satan himself emerged from Hell with a viable bail-out plan for the auto industry in his brimstone-reeking paws, we’d listen. So if Lieberman wants to act like a Democrat, he’s welcome to do so, even though he’s only somewhat less evil than Satan. Heck, we’ll even deal with Boehner; we mean anyone.
We’d be happy to have Sen. Lieberman caucus with the Democrats. We don’t hold any grudges.
TRANSLATION: Lieberman is a loser. Loo-hoo-hoo-ZER. As such, he is beneath our notice. If he wants to get on board the O-Train, that’s fine with us. Or he can hang around at the station with the dregs of the GOP like Paul Broun and wait for the citizens of Connecticut to kick his sorry ass the curb during the next election.
Like most liberal morons you hide under a cloak. Very reminiscent of the Klan. It’s quite clear that your greatest desire is to become a man. Although I’m quite sure you’ve become quite proficient at chomping. Here’s a kind warning. A great churning has begun. Molton lava is slowly, slowly working it’s way to the surface. Since you have no God, I’m afraid you must “abandon all hope”. Nothing can stop what will occur and the only ones to blame are those of your ilk. May God have mercy on your miserable soul.
The guy in Accounts Payable doesn’t seem like the violent type, but says he feels weird and nervous:
