Palin propagandist John Ziegler warns that unless God Himself sends a golden chariot drawn by legions of cherubs to elevate Sarah Palin to the presidency, she is toast should she choose to disregard his advice and run in 2012:
[B]arring a literal act of God, there is absolutely no chance that Palin can beat Obama in 2012.
[snip]
[T]here is no doubt that her celebrity power keeps her theoretically viable to do literally anything she wants, except the problem here is that huge portions of public believe, wrongly, that they already know the real Sarah Palin… [A]re Republicans really going to run against an over-hyped, inexperienced, charismatic celebrity by nominating someone who is already thought of exactly that way by at least half of America?
During an appearance on a right-wing Internet radio show on Monday, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) called upon voters who oppose the health care bill to get loud.
“Well I couldn’t agree with you more, as to the timing and the sense of urgency,” Bachmann told a caller to the show, Hot Tea Radio. “That’s why with everything within us we need to start literally banging garbage lids together, to create enough noise so that our neighbors and our co-workers realize where the time clock is at this point, because the second hand is literally banging up against 11:59 on the clock on freedom when it comes to health care.”
The people who elected this kook literally eat their own boogers every day when the Clock o’ Freedom strikes 12.
Some of you may remember when we wrote about the Florida case of a juiced-up musclehead with anger management issues beating down a Greek Orthodox priest with a tire iron because he claimed he was a genital-grabbing terrorist. Let’s just say it didn’t end the way we were hoping that it would. What a travesty.
Rush Limbaugh sez he’s leavin’ the country if it happens. Listen for yourself. (via Think Progress.)
I guess all I have to say to that is: “ohpleeeezohpleeeezohpleeeeze!!!”
The real punchline is that he’s planning to move to Costa Rica - home of one of the best soshulized medicine health care systems in Latin America. Hey, they even provide coverage to non-citizens. Like, umm, Rush would be.
Glenn Beck made a big deal out of landing an exclusive, hour-long one-on-one with outraged, seething, ready-to-go-Krakatoa Dem Congressman Eric Massa. Malkin and Limbaugh both warned him that interviewing Massa was likely to be the “Al Capone’s Vault” of misbegotten on-air scoops, but Beck predictably followed his gut straight into this year’s Christmas party reel of TV’s Queasiest Moments.
I haven’t screened the entire show, but this clip is guaranteed to make you feel like Emily Litella watching a live performance of “Who’s On First?” featuring Bob Dole and the ghost of Brother Theodore. The other segments can be viewed here.
From the comments on the Freeper live-thread, I get the feeling Beck was as bored as his audience by the end. Bored—but, surprisingly enough, not to tears.
Fulfilling his bloggy mission, Zandar points out the stupid in this wingnut-prØn poll, which finds that, according to Americans, the US has lost international standing during the Obama administration:
What a ridiculous poll. If you want to know how the US is perceived internationally by non-Americans, why are you asking Americans?
Good question, Zandar. As it turns out, Gallup released a poll last month that actually did gauge non-American perceptions of American leadership and presents data from 2006-2009:
As discussed here a couple of weeks ago, the Republicans seem to have hit on a new meme. Extending unemployment benefits makes people lazy and unwilling to heft their shiftless asses offa the sofa and go out and get jobs! Rep. Dean Heller R.-NV previously wondered if we were creating hobos. Senator Jon Kyl threatened to block the extension of the benefits because he apparently believes it is more important for Paris Hilton and her pals to inherit boatloads of money free of any estate tax.
At about the same time Iowa Rep. Steve King suggested that extending benefits turns the “the safety net into a hammock”. (via Steve Benen)
Now Tom DeLay, speaking on CNN’s State of the Union insists that Senator Jim Bunning, R-KY, took the principled stand in trying to block the benefits extension (among other things) arguing that people are only unemployed because they want to be. Hard to believe? Don’t take my word for it - listen for yourselves.
Yes, the vile loathsome DeLay wants us to believe that the jobs are out there just waiting to be taken. But the shiftless, lazy taxpayers just wants to park they butts on the couch until that last couple of weeks of unemployment before trudging reluctantly back into the world of a paycheck. Now I think it’s you living in that parallel universe Mr. DeLay, not me.
Everyone knows squishy, effete, elitist Kenyan lawyer Barack Obama is just longing to coddle America’s enemies! Unlike Dick Cheney, who once shot an old lawyer in the face (it was just Dick’s manner of saying, “Outta my way, motherfucker!”), Obama wants to serve terrorists glasses of warm, halal milk, read them Koranic bedtime stories and tuck them into comfy featherbeds with extra-soft pillows.
But damn it all, whenever secret Muslim Obama tries to deliver engraved invitations to Islamic terrorists to please come dine on pork-free goodies on the East Lawn, he keeps accidentally blowingthesumbitchesup with Hellfire missiles! It’s all a horrible, horrible misunderstanding.
Dick Cheney’s daughter Liz is an attorney who got through law school without learning that those accused of crimes—even atrocities—have a right to legal counsel. With the help of Fox News and Bill Kristol, Liz Cheney’s “Keep America Safe” organization has been busily smearing lawyers who represented War on Terror detainees, implying that the lawyers and the DOJ that employs them are in league with al Qaeda:
Liz Cheney, who in an earlier time would have impugned the character of Atticus Finch, is a disgrace to her profession and a neo-McCarthyite. That’s not surprising, given her parentage.
Also not surprising is that our stupid non-Fox media pretend not to notice this. They’ve long preferred covering key political battles and national security issues as if reporting on an Octomom-Brangela polygamous Vegas wedding.
The patriarch of the Cheney clan used fear to pull off one of the most expensive, deadly con jobs in the history of the United States. His daughter Liz is expanding the fear-mongering empire by smearing good people who are upholding the Constitution her father and his cronies crapped all over.
It looks like she’ll get away with it, just like her old man did. And it looks like the administration might just knuckle under to the fear-mongers. I hate to be dramatic, but I think this means the War on Terror is over. And we lost.
Dan Riehl’s by-God had enough of getting elitist, America-hating arugula jammed down his throat. From now on, it’s Leafy Green Spinach, or Death.
Granted, the Right doesn’t have much to celebrate lately. Their leaders seem silly, obtuse, feckless and prone to spontaneous performances of Comic Opera on the public stage. Warring bloggers, dueling Tea Parties and freelance IEDs like Palin and Beck have unleashed Open-Source Lunacy on a 4th Generation political battlefield where Republican message-control is proving increasingly vulnerable to “Black Swans” and systempunkt attacks.
With contrarian surreality, wingnut blogs announce that the never-before-thus-unified Right is inexorably “in the Ascendant.” Conservative pundits claim Obama is “finished” and the Democrats are “committing suicide.” The Hill is alive with vows to “recapture Congress” and “take back the Country.” Nonetheless, the USS Usurper steams blithely ahead, intent on reaching its destination and indifferent to the Conservative howl that “reconciliation” is a legislative equivalent of the Black Mass, with Orc-eyed Obama presiding over a blasphemous procedural peversion where Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi dance widdershins whilst reciting the Constitution backwards.
On a cinematic scale of vengeance-spawning insults, last week’s tableau of senior Congressional Republicans seated in a Kindergarten-desk semicircle as Prof. Obama distributed juice boxes, Fruit Roll-Ups and stern upbraids rivals Capt. Kirk’s stranding of Ricardo Montalban on Ceti Aplha V. But it’s the prospect of reconciliation that finally has Conservatives channeling Ahab.
Some Republican goofball left a copy of an RNC fundraising presentation in a Florida hotel room, and now everyone can see it. It reveals fundraising themes (Socialism! Aaiieeee!) and typical donor characteristics (“ego-driven” fat cats and “fear”-driven, “reactionary” yahoos) that were perfectly obvious to everyone already.
The only thing mildly surprising about it is the amateurishness of the presentation itself—crappy Microsoft clip art, unreadable fonts, slides packed with too much text in too-small fonts, etc. Use some of that sweet fat cat money to hire a professional next time, boneheads!
Oh, and destroy the fucking evidence when you’re done! Did Nixon teach you people nothing?
Sen. Jim Bunning (R-Ky) has finally realized that given the choice, even ReaLAMEricans prefer food and shelter to high-flown rhetoric about big gubbermint [via AssPress]:
A Republican that had been stubbornly blocking a stopgap measure to extend help for the jobless relented on Tuesday under withering assaults from Democrats and dwindling support within his own party.
Sen. Jim Bunning of Kentucky had been single-handedly blocking the $10 billion measure, causing federal furloughs and threatening the unemployment benefits of hundreds of thousands of people. He was seeking to force Democrats to find ways to finance the bill so that it wouldn’t add to the deficit, but his move sparked a political tempest that has subjected Republicans to withering media coverage and cost the party politically.
While Bunning wanders around in search of a new cloud to shout at or an imaginary squirrel he can chase away from the bird house, we can look forward to the following from the blithering classes:
1. 25,000 words on how Bunning’s capitulation is horrible news for the Democrats.
2. 48,000 words on whether Congress can survive under the steel-toed jackboots of the Democrats.
3. 76,502 words on what Democrats should do to make up for this unseemly display of partisanship.
Champion sour-grape sucker Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild takes liberties with Fox & Friends peasant Steve Doocy:
You can watch the entire episode here (not recommended). In it, her ladyship expounds upon the theory proffered in her gently received “I Told You So” column at The Daily Beast.
To wit, socialist monster Barack Obama used the Trojan Horse of centrism to get elected. Only Lady Lynn and other prominent peers of the realm had the wit to perceive it because you Obot peasants are all what Rush Limbaugh might satirically call “retards.”
Moreover, Obama is a big fat liar with all this bipartisanship stuff because while he pretends to extend the PATRIOT Act, incorporate GOP ideas into a corporate-friendly health care bill and not raise taxes, he’s really dismantling the very foundations of liberty in a mad bid to transform America into France. Or maybe Greece. At any rate, some socialist country with BIG GOVERNMENT and teeny coffee cups.
Anyway, Lady Lynn told you so, you ignorant bumpkins, but you wouldn’t listen, and now America is doomed. The end.
This is “old” news from the CPAC confab, and Dave Sirota has covered it elsewhere. But it was largely overlooked at the time…and it deserves a stronger shot of daylight.
Let’s face it: Glenn Beck is a damaged human being—not so much a “personality” as a collection of symptoms and tics, a buggy OS with too much broken code, a bunting-draped Golem with a 4th-of-July sparkler jammed up its ass and a rolled-up scroll of Jack Chick tracts stuffed in its mouth. His radio program—which used to open with a snappy rock anthem—now spins up on a wailing dirge straight out of the ‘80s Arena Band Gulag. What follows is three hours of alternating manic-depressive smash-cuts, synced to a mashup of soundtracks from Why We Fight and Ernest Goes to Armageddon: He cries. His callers cry. Suicidal ideation cross-fades seamlessly into commercial spots for Food Insurance and Gold-on-Paper as the Preferred Currrency of the Brain-Eating Zombie End-Times. Anger and desperation alchemically transmute into giggly, often cruel and puerile humor. Then comes the double-clutch downshift into cracked-voice, verklempt warnings of the “Nameless” Destroyer Whose Name Is “Obama”...or “Marxism,” or “Democracy,” or “the Death of American Exceptionalism,” or “Government” or ‘Creeping Incrementalism” or “Knickers That Buckle ABOVE the Knee.”
Beck blames the show’s whipsaw emotionalism on untreated “ADHD.” As I listen, the phrase “untethered space-walk” comes to mind. I understand his Fox show is pretty much the same shtick, but with visiting freaks, balloon animals and camera-friendly “Tammy Faye” mascara-tears. Kind of a 3D House of Wacks.
In short, Beck is a Nimitz-class head-case—an earnest, creepy paranoid with a steamer-trunk-sized load of unresolved guilt that can only be redeemed by convincing everyone within the sound of his voice that Crazy is Normal…and Righteous.
