Wednesday, September 01, 2010

...by way of Wall of Voodoo’s inestimable Stan Ridgway.

There’s always a good reason for war. Or, conversely—Who needed a reason in The New American Century?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 09/01/10 at 11:23 AM
Comments (1) • Permalink

During his speech last night, your preznit showed insufficient gratitude to Bush for his role in our Excellent Iraqi Adventure. Sensing that this would be the case even before the speech was delivered, prominent wingnuts preemptively dialed the Butt-Hurt Advisory Level up to Red.

However, the color-coded warning system reached unprecedented Throbbing Purple status once the last frame of the speech was viewed and the bunch who spent eight years polishing Bush’s knob realized that the Kenyan really, really, really wasn’t going admit the Sun Tzu of Crawford was Right About The Surge.

But fear not, wingnuts: Last night, Rachel Maddow gave Bush and his enablers the full measure of credit they deserve:

I’m left wondering how on earth Republicans haul their ginormous stones around without the assistance of extra-large wheelbarrows.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/01/10 at 10:38 AM
Comments (2) • Permalink

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

So says The Nation’s Katrina vanden Heuvel, who cites White House and other sources. If the GOP wants to have a confirmation fight, could the timing be better?

I’d love to see the brilliant, no-nonsense Ms. Warren on teevee analyzing the big shitpile and spelling out exactly how the GOP and its enablers stacked the deck in favor of their sugar daddies at the expense of the middle class.

Bring it on.

[H/T: Booman]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/10/10 at 11:47 AM
Permalink

Thursday, August 05, 2010

PolitiFact, a Pulitzer Prize-winning fact-checking organization, issued its totally-not-coveted “Pants on Fire” rating to Sarah Palin for the ginormous whopper she told on Fox News earlier this week:

“Democrats are poised now to cause this largest tax increase in U.S. history.”

As it turns out, letting the Bush tax cuts expire for the wealthiest Americans would restore tax rates to Clinton-era levels and result in a tax increase that’s smaller than the one championed by Palin’s hero Ronald Reagan. Hence the “Pants on Fire” rating from the non-partisan group.

But Snowpack Snooki isn’t going to let mere facts get in the way of lying demagoguery. She took to Facebook to “fact-check the fact-checkers,” with results that make Wile E. Coyote look like a super genius Roadrunner catcher. 

Maybe it was all the words and numbers PolitiFact used to explain the rating. Perhaps this cheesy 60s music video would be easier to comprehend:

[H/T: YAFB]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/05/10 at 02:31 PM
Permalink

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I don’t care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Sitting on the dashboard of my car

--American folk song

When progressives (and I count myself among them) grow weary of the halting, incremental pace of change under the Obama Administration, hard choices have to be made:

1.  We can curl up into a whimpering ball.

2. We can form alliances with wingnut assholes and engage in symbolic, counterproductive fist-shaking.

3. We can shake our heads at the rampant ignorance and stupidity that make anything but half measures nearly impossible and do our part to move things along.

I favor number 3 myself, with a side order of ineffectual bitching. But I admit it’s not all that emotional satisfying.

That’s why Plastic Black Jeebus comes in handy when incrementalism simply isn’t enough. See him take on arch-villains below the fold!

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/14/10 at 10:37 AM
Permalink

Friday, July 09, 2010

Steve M at No More Mr. Nice Blog has a post up about the media bloviator reaction to Palin’s content-free “Mama Grizzlies” video. Apparently, our stupid media is positively tremulous with excitement. Steve concludes:

So it’s all about whether they think this will gull the rubes—“centrist and right women” whom Palin can “harness.”

What they’re not admitting is that they’ve now been “harnessed.” And just like that, it suddenly seems possible that, for 2012, Palin can actually win the real first primary—the media tastemakers’ primary. Suddenly the gatekeepers and conventional wisdom mongers like her; she’s harnessed them, and they think she’s harnessed us.

Did we all see the same video? I’m obviously not Palin’s target audience since I concluded long ago that she’s a dumb-as-dirt demagogue and hysteria-monger.

But even if you’ve been living under a rock for the past couple of years, is there a single thing in that video that would compel you to take Palin seriously? Does she offer even one solution to any problem? No. It’s all “grizzly mamas, fuck yeah!”

In the media reaction, I’m seeing a replay of a movie that ended badly—the George W. Bush Effect. Remember the run-up to the first Bush vs. Gore debate? The expectations for Bush were so incredibly low – Gore was widely expected to wipe up the floor with Bush.

And you know what? Gore did, at least, if providing coherent, realistic answers to policy questions constitutes a victory.

However, thanks to the media build-up, all Bush really had to do was show up and not soil himself on live TV to be declared the “winner.” And that’s what happened.

I don’t think the plot will unfold the same way—Bush might have been a know-nothing dolt in 2000, but he was a relatively fresh face. Bush is Einstein in comparison to Palin, and she’s been in our grill for the last couple of years—long enough for the vast majority to conclude she’s a babbling idiot.

But I think Steve’s right about the media herd’s complicity in the dumbfuckification of our national politics. Useless fucking hacks.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/09/10 at 08:21 AM
Permalink

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

The aptly named “Zombie” (mindless automaton with no free will) over at the aptly named Pajamas Media (neither pajamas nor media: discuss) sees a sinister anti-Israel bias in HuffPo’s photo-cropping techniques:

The picture of Benjamin Netanyahu shown to the left appears on the front page of today’s Huffington Post, illustrating a story about Israel easing its blockade of Gaza…

[snip]

Somebody — most likely at Huffington Post — carefully cropped off the top portion of the photo so that the bottom parts of the two branches combined with the curved edge of the seal appear to be the outlines of horns sprouting from Netanyahu’s head.

[snip]

Coincidence? Perhaps. But considering the longstanding documented anti-Israel bias at so many news outlets, “coincidence” seems like the least likely explanation.

Leave it to the Jew-hating media to put devil horns on Netanyahu. Can a Katie Couric-led Kristallnacht be far behind? [Personally, I think it looks more like a halo than a set of horns. It looks even more like a jellyfish.]

But let’s not forget right-wing Israeli politicians aren’t the only targets of the mocking lamestream media. The BBC and countless American media outlets cropped photos of John Ashcroft to make it appear as if a terrifying Bare-Bosomed Bronze Lady Justice were preparing to smite the Bush Administration Attorney General for unspecified crimes:

The moral of the story? 100% of zombies agree there’s no end to lefty media perfidy.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 07/06/10 at 06:55 PM
Permalink

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Imagine what would have become of the Corleone Family if oldest surviving brother Fredo had succeeded Vito instead of the younger, smarter Michael. You don’t have to imagine it, America: You lived it when George W. Bush followed his old man into the presidency instead of the younger, smarter Jeb, whom the Bush Family rightly credited for having more brains than his elder brother (not that that’s a particularly lofty accomplishment).

The NYT ran a piece yesterday on Jeb Bush’s anguished attempts to haul the family brand out of the toilet and polish up the old turd. It really pisses Jeb off when Obama points to the smoking rubble GWB left in his wake:

“It’s kind of like a kid coming to school saying, ‘The dog ate my homework,’ ” Mr. Bush, this state’s former governor, said over lunch last week at the Biltmore Hotel. “It’s childish. This is what children do until they mature. They don’t accept responsibility.”

The Rove is strong in that one: What better way to avoid acknowledging your brother’s responsibility for his numerous, world-historical catastrophes than prissily criticizing his successor for his unwillingness to take responsibility for the disasters your brother authored?

Inevitably, the article turned to speculation that the Bush clan might have another scion to barf up for presidential consideration.

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/23/10 at 10:06 AM
Permalink

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Nothing sends wingnuts into an ear-splitting snit faster than a perceived slight to Ronald Reagan, whom they place at the right hand of Baby Jeebus for being somewhat less embarrassing in retrospect than either Bush. Jay Nordlinger over at NRO is reduced to insensate babbling by a remark from Vice President Biden:

It’s not often you hear Ronald Reagan bad-mouthed these days, even by people who hated him when he was alive and working. According to the pool reporter, Biden “pledged that if politicians will do what’s in the country’s best interest, America’s best days are ahead.” Biden then said, “That’s not Ronald Reagan sunshine in America. That’s literally, literally true.”

Sunshine in America, morning in America — whatever. (Maybe Biden was thinking of the “shining city on a hill,” too?) Nice to see that the Gipper can still get under their skin a little bit.

It’s pretty clear to me Biden meant “sunshine” in the “don’t pump sunshine up my skirt” sense, or, to employ another idiom, “don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.” But unlike Nordlinger, I don’t labor under an L. Ron Hubbard-sized portrait of Reagan and pine for a fresh round of Gipper golden showers. I guess that makes it easier to grasp the point of the remark.

Nordlinger goes on:

A final thing: Speaking to this insider group, Biden referred to the president as “Barack”: “Barack and I sat in on” this meeting. A tad bit condescending, I think. I wonder what he calls Obama one on one. Cheney, I believe, called George W. Bush “sir.”

I’m going to take a wild guess here and surmise that Biden calls the president “Barack.” And if Cheney did indeed call The Shrub “sir,” the patronization that dripped from the honorific would have been thick and sticky enough to seal a thousand gushing oil wellheads.

Nordlinger’s prissy parsing is another welcome sign that they got nuthin’. Nice to see that Joe can still get under their skin a little bit.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/19/10 at 07:45 AM
Permalink

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

If Harry Reid loses his senate seat to flaming kook Sharron Angle this fall, it will be all Rachel Maddow’s fault. No, really—that’s respected (in some quarters) media critic Bob Somerby’s take:

For various reasons [because she’s a flaming kook!—ed.], Angle is a highly vulnerable candidate, even though Reid has low approval ratings in Nevada. But uh-oh! Since last Thursday night, an unpleasant thought has played in our heads: If anyone can get Angle elected, it may be “the bad Rachel.”

Since Angle won the GOP primary, the bad Rachel has been mocking her in predictable ways. As with other top-shelf liberals, Maddow never seems to understand how her attitudes may be perceived by people who aren’t from the clan. (That is, by the bulk of voters.)

It seems our Rhodes Scholar has been making fun of Angle for wanting to abolish Medicare and Social Security and advocating a return to Prohibition in a state that’s chock-full of drunken Medicare and Social Security recipients. Tut-tut.

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/16/10 at 11:45 AM
Permalink

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Nope, it’s not an albino walrus, such as BP apparently imagines cavorting in the Gulf of Mexico. It’s one Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (mercifully, a.k.a. Boris Johnson), one-time Member of Parliament for upper-crust Henley-on-Thames, schoolmate of PM David Cameron, and current elected Mayor of London. Yes. Elected.

Contrary to a lot of the US media hubbub, Boris—whose public persona is modeled on Bertie Wooster, but who doesn’t defy belief by being even dafter than he looks—is leading the groundswell of bedwetting righties in the UK who don’t agree that President Obama is being ineffectual in his quest for asses to kick. Au contraire, he thinks you’re being positively beastly about BP and its little whoopsie in your back yard:

Speaking on Radio 4’s Today Programme, Mr Johnson said: “I do think there’s something slightly worrying about the anti-British rhetoric that seems to be permeating from America.

Translation: We’re witnessing classic British understatement here. Boris is known for his unflappability, even in the face of the numerous public balls-ups and misspeakings he’s been guilty of. If Boris thinks it’s “slightly worrying,” in US terms, that means it’s a BIG fucking deal.

Mr Johnson said the company should not be blamed.

“OK, it has presided over a catastrophic accident, which it is trying to remedy,” Mr Johnson said. “But ultimately it cannot be faulted because it was an accident that took place and BP, I think, is paying a very, very heavy price indeed.”

Everybody has accidents. Get over it.

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 06/10/10 at 02:40 PM
Permalink

Friday, June 04, 2010

Liz Cheney, evil spawn of super-villain Dick Cheney, is pissed at our preznit for failing to put Israeli interests ahead of American ones enthusiastically enough:

Yesterday, President Obama said the Israeli action to stop the flotilla bound for the Gaza Strip was “tragic.” What is truly tragic is that President Obama is perpetuating Israel’s enemies’ version of events.

Well, first of all, Liz Cheney is a bald-faced liar: The video of the Obama interview she embeds at her site demonstrates that within the first 30 seconds.

Obama called the loss of life “a tragic situation,” which is a pretty reasonable description of a state of affairs that culminated in Israeli commandos killing nine civilians, including a 19-year-old American citizen who had four bullets pumped into his skull at close range. Obama went out of his way to not condemn Israel.

But in addition to being a shameless liar, Liz Cheney is also a breathtakingly arrogant propagandist whose pronouncements demonstrate the subtlety and nuance that marked those of her horrible, horrible father and his drooling lackey:

There is no middle ground here. Either the United States stands with the people of Israel in the war against radical Islamic terrorism or we are providing encouragement to Israel’s enemies—and our own.

Shades of “yer either with us or agin us,” the Bush diplomatic strategy that worked out so goddamned well in the past decade.

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 06/04/10 at 05:21 PM
Permalink

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

OK, I give up. I guess it’s officially Palin Week here. What the hell. Hippopotamuses and trampolines and all that.

As if the gusher of bollocks that’s been spewed all over since the Gulf of Mexico oilcano erupted wasn’t enough, as if she hadn’t given us enough material to fill a webful of blogs in the last couple of weeks, TPM reports that Palin and her handlers think they’ve come up with a formula whereby she can slam “extreme greenies” while absolving herself of being part of the problem, and still get to shriek “DRILL, BABY, DRILL!”

She twats:

As Brian Beutler at TPM points out:

Of course just two months ago, in a widely circulated missive, Palin attacked President Obama’s plan to open up large swaths of the U.S. coastline to potential drilling for being too little, too late. “[L]et’s not forget,” she wrote, “that while Interior Department bureaucrats continue to hold up actual offshore drilling from taking place, Russia is moving full steam ahead on Arctic drilling, and China, Russia, and Venezuela are buying leases off the coast of Cuba.”

And that’s without even dipping into the treasure trove of statements from her failed ‘08 vice presidential bid.

Oh, go ahead, let’s dip. If your ears will bear it:

This is enough of a mega-clusterfuck without blaming the blessed “greenies” for it all. Join with me if you will as I throw open my window and scream into the evening breeze Alaskawards ...

FOR FUCK’S SAKE, ENOUGH ALREADY!

Yours grumpily, and about ready to rip Tony Hayward’s head off and throw it to whatever’s left of the sealife.

h/t Betty Cracker.

UPDATE: In case you don’t venture into the comments on this post, as the ever-astute Allan reminds me:

How’s that safe onshore drilling thing workin’ out for ya?  Now do you get it?

Gah!

UPDATE 2: BILL, baby, BILL!

WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama says it’s time to roll back “billions of dollars in tax breaks” for oil companies and use the money for clean energy research and development.

Posted by YAFB on 06/02/10 at 01:18 PM
Permalink

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Given his past keenness to criticize the administration at every opportunity since leaving office, the silence from Dick Cheney—and his vociferous daughter, come to that—over the Gulf gusher and government handling of the crisis is noticeable. Surely this is a great time to cement his mooted bid for the presidency?

It’s not as if the once-de facto President has any ties nowadays to Halliburton, having divested himself when he took office, so no conflict of interest there.

His tenure was marked with farsighted steps to improve accountability and oversight in the Energy Department. The current administration may be struggling to figure out how to come to terms with the legacy of the previous one, but the man who can probably do more than most to explain what went on is curiously silent.

As we wait anxiously to learn whether the topkill has worked, hopefully then free to brace ourselves for the post mortems, lawsuits, and debates about the best strategies for mitigation and cleanup, we need a man of integrity and decisiveness with long experience and insider knowledge and contacts—a Dick, in short—to shoulder the current effete leadership aside and tell it like it is.

Step up, Dick. Your moment has come.

read the whole post »

Posted by YAFB on 05/27/10 at 09:20 AM
Permalink

Monday, May 24, 2010

That’s gratitude for you. First, Obama constructs an elaborate plot to sucker “progressives” into supporting his corporate shill self—using a hideous combination of white guilt, misogyny and lies to dupe us so he can continue George W. Bush’s policies at the behest of his corporate paymasters.

Then he orchestrates the biggest corporate giveaway in the history of the planet under the guise of “reforming” our heinous health care system.

THEN, he buddies up to the oil and gas industry, calling for more offshore drilling right before an unprecedented oil spill disaster in the Gulf of Mexico.

THEN he coordinates a weak-tea financial reform package that allows the scoundrels who Icelandicized our economy—friends of Obama like Jamie Dimon—to continue boning us with impunity while collecting billions of dollars for their trouble.

Don’t say we weren’t warned: We were warned and warned and warned by our progressive betters just as fast as their earnestly typing fingers could fly across their keyboards. Daily—nay hourly!—we were warned. We are, in fact, like, the most warned bitches evar, okay?

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 05/24/10 at 06:22 AM
Permalink