“For 20 years, I’ve been doing things on behalf of the people of Nebraska and putting things off,” he said. “There comes a time when you have to make that decision, do you continue to put things off and do what you’ve been doing?”
~Replace John Hodgman in Apple’s “I’m a Mac” ad campaign; get fired for showing up to shoots dressed in hipster signifiers & agreeing vigorously with Justin Long
~Join PepsiCo Board of Directors, buy world a Coke
~Sell arms to anti-American forces abroad, cite decades-long experience providing ammo to the other side
~Become lobbyist; spend most of his time hanging out at service entrance, because he always does the opposite of what he’s supposed to be doing, see
~Attempt to take down IRS from the inside; unaware that IRS Records and Internal Revenue Service are not the same thing, record surprisingly competent rock/reggae fusion album
~Get job as Wal-Mart greeter, invoke “conscience clause” to avoid saying hello to potential sluts
~Find a way to look even more like Jerry Van Dyke
~Whenever there’s a patch of freshly laid, unhardened cement nearby, “tag” it with side of head, because the dude just loves earmarks
~Belatedly realize “Ask Ben Nelson To Resign” Facebook campaign was most likely started by liberals, run for Senate
~Spend more time undermining his family
UPDATE 10:34pm—I knew I was bitin’ Letterman’s style, but I was like whatever, all my stuff’s ripped off from somebody. Now that I’ve counted the number of items, though, I should probably apologize for making everyone at RRHQ vulnerable to an infringement lawsuit.
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The Iraq War is over, at least officially. It was, as then-Illinois State Senator Barack Obama said in 2002, a “dumb war:”
I don’t oppose all wars. What I am opposed to is a dumb war. What I am opposed to is a rash war. What I am opposed to is the cynical attempt by Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz and other armchair, weekend warriors in this administration to shove their own ideological agendas down our throats, irrespective of the costs in lives lost and in hardships borne.
The “cost in lives and hardships borne” Mr. Obama accurately predicted is impossible to fully reckon, as is the monetary cost. Well over 100,000 people are needlessly dead, tens of thousands more physically and psychologically scarred for life and around a trillion sorely needed-dollars poured down a rat hole.
How did this happen? There are many reasons, but the short answer is that it was a perfect storm of assholes. It was an event that brought together a small but influential group of arrogant neo-con dick-swingers eager to impose their vision on the world, profit-seeking conglomerates yearning to cash in, a supine media and a nation insane with fear in the wake of the 9/11 attacks.
But none of it would have been possible without the insecure, not-too-bright scion of a prominent political family who was then in the Oval Office and burning to prove to his patrician daddy that he is too smart and capable, not dumb, not like people say. So now we know what happens when Fredo Corleone leapfrogs his smarter brother to become the Godfather—only of a nuclear-armed superpower instead of an organized crime family. Not pretty, is it?
Mr. John Cole nails it regarding this “flawed analysis” by Niall Stanage, who would have us believe that a grueling debate schedule is what’s keeping the 2012 GOP presidential candidates from building sufficient breakout support:
Televised debates have had an outsize impact on this year’s Republican presidential race. But the demands of the debating schedule — Saturday’s event in South Carolina was the eleventh major clash — is taking its toll on the candidates, who find themselves constantly preparing for primetime.
The frequency of the debates cuts back on the time available for retail politicking in Iowa and other early-voting states. Even seasoned campaign veterans are now beginning to ask: How many debates are too many?
Nope. None of the Republican candidates can seal the deal because they accurately reflect what has become the core of the party: crackpots and plutocratic shills. As proof, look no further than the debate audiences and the machinations of those who control the money and public opinion outlets.
So far, the crackpot GOP debate audiences have barked and clapped like trained seals for executions, letting the uninsured die, discrimination against gay soldiers and torture. They represent the worst of this country, our counterpart to hate-and-religion-fueled troglodytes like the Taliban and Iranian mullahs, and while their views are unnervingly widespread, they do not, thankfully, represent the sentiments of the country at large.
Meanwhile, the moneyed interests and their media mouthpieces are busily greasing the skids for Romney, who can be counted upon to follow the long Republican tradition of catering to the needs of the few at the expense of the many. This has jackshit to do with the debate schedule.
In case you missed the GOP debate last night, here’s the Rick Perry implosion:
In a flagrant violation of one of the immutable laws of the universe—the one that decrees that there shall be no coherent, funny or sane comments posted on YouTube, ever—commenter bsphenom gets it about right:
This is the inevitable conclusion of the anti-intellectual and anti-government mentality of the modern Republican Party. We are literally down to complete morons who want to cut things they can’t even name, let alone understand. It’s a modern day version of angry cavemen who want to burn everything down. They have the cultural sophistication of ancient Mongol hordes.
Yep. Perry manages to make one nostalgic for the verbal acuity and intellectual rigor of Sarah H. Palin, who in her turn “made George W. Bush sound like Cicero,” as Republican god-botherer Rod Dreher was once honest enough to note. What happened to slow declines? When empires and great institutions crumble, isn’t it supposed to take awhile?
Anyhoo, I expected to find the GOP debate depressing, and it certainly was disheartening to realize that one of the ignorant buffoons, pandering nitwits or crackpots on that stage will be seriously considered for the leadership of a nuclear-armed superpower. But on the other hand, it’s heartening to imagine any of those silly bastards taking on President Obama in a general election debate.
An MSNBC reporter follows up on yesterday’s news, looking in on several tea partiers they profiled last year to witness the political evolution of the members of this totally spontaneous, diverse, non-Astroturfed group of heartland patriots. Surprisingly, they’re all still older, white Republicans!
Another startling development: They still don’t like President Obama. And they’re not too keen on those smelly Occupy hippies stealing their limelight either. I’m so glad MSNBC saw fit to run this item above the fold. You just can’t find that kind of hard-hitting feature anywhere else.
PS: Erick Son of Erick says that Mitt Romney will be the nominee, which means “conservatism dies and Barack Obama wins.” From your lips to God’s ears, Son of Erick!
At least, that’s what I thought when I read the above headline at the Raw Story. “Oh no!” I thought: If Wrongy McWrongerson has conceded the race to Obama, surely the Republican nominee—even if it’s someone as dumb as Rick Perry, as crazy as Michele Bachmann, as kooky as Ron Paul, as discredited as Newt Gingrich, as priggish as Rick Santorum, as lecherous as Herman Cain, etc.—will emerge victorious in the general election.
But the Raw Story headline is misleading: If you read the Kristol piece, he doesn’t concede the race at all. Rather, he metaphorically exhumes and humps the corpse of national debt-tripler and serial tax-raiser Ronald Reagan and laments that we shall not see the Gipper’s bonny like again. Then he speculates that a lesser GOP mortal might employ the lessons of Bill Clinton or FDR to achieve a less-than-Reaganesque victory. Ho hum.
I’ve always found neocon retread John R. Bolton somewhat fascinating—not only because former President Bush (recess) appointed him US Ambassador to the United Nations after Bolton had explicitly denied the existence of that organization—but because of his weird, carpet-don’t-match-the-curtains cranial hair.
As it turns out, his views on occupations are as contrasting as his forelock and mustache:
Is the Romney camp implying that Rick Perry is a brainless, slack-jawed yokel who would be utterly crushed in a head-to-head match-up with the Kenyan Usurper in this new video? Sin duda, as Romney’s fired leaf-blower might say.
And it’s true—Perry apparently is dumber than a post, unable to outwit a toadstool, incapable of pouring water out of a cowboy boot if the directions were on the heel, etc. But I think old Willard got just a leeetle too excited when it dawned on him just what a babbling halfwit Perry is, and old Willard forgot something kinda important about the constituency he’s attempting to woo: The GOP base doesn’t consider stupid a serious drawback in a candidate.
They went wild over booger-eating moron Sarah Palin. They worship Ronald “Amiable Dunce” Reagan. George “C+ Augustus” Bush anyone? Moreover, the base tends to get riled when some snooty-pants elitist looks down his patrician nose at the abstract-thought impaired. I’m just saying Mittens better watch his ass, if he knows what’s good for him.
Unreliable source Howard Kurtz wrote a piece about the Fox Death Star’s own Darth Vader, who is allegedly leading a broad-based Decrazification Initiative to steer the network brand away from Beckistan. Supposedly this is behind the departure of Beck, the downplaying of Palin and other assorted moves.
It’s Kurtz, so caveat emptor and all of that. But the piece contains an Ailes quote that may have inadvertently revealed the network’s master business model:
“Listen, one out of every 25 people in America is a psychopath.”
Either Ailes meant to say 25 percent of the American people are psychopaths or he underestimates the Crazification Factor significantly. Either way, there’s a lot of soap to be sold.
Well, not really. He’s just wrong as usual, this time combining his uniquely wrong insights about both politics and poetry to accidentally imply that New Jersey’s portly guv is The Beast.
Kristol, who as you may recall was instrumental in foisting kooky bumpkin Sarah Palin on an unsuspecting world, looked upon the current GOP field on display during this week’s debate and was appalled by its kookery and mediocrity. In an editorial entitled “Yikes,” Kristol wrote:
Reading the reactions of thoughtful commentators after the stage emptied, talking with conservative policy types and GOP political operatives later last evening and this morning, we know we’re not alone. Most won’t express publicly just how horrified—or at least how demoralized—they are.
[snip]
The e-mails flooding into our inbox during the evening were less guarded. Early on, we received this missive from a bright young conservative: “I’m watching my first GOP debate…and WE SOUND LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE!!!!” As the evening went on, the craziness receded, and the demoralized comments we received stressed the mediocrity of the field rather than its wackiness.
Not admiring your stitch-work, eh Dr. Frankenstein? My heart. It bleeds for you. Not.
It took the Rethugs only seconds to characterize President Obama’s plan to increase taxes on wealthy investors and hedge fund managers* to at least the same rates that are paid by teachers and plumbers as ZOMG CLASS WARFARE!!
In his speech this morning the President slowly and methodically laid out the need for increased revenues to tackle the deficit, the spending cuts that were also being proposed as well as the cuts that had been agreed to previously. He outlined plans to raise revenue that included closing loopholes, ending tax breaks for special interests, rollling back some deductions for wealthy taxpayers and not extending the Bush tax cuts for the highest brackets. The White House has put up a fact sheet which summarizes the American Jobs Act as well as the proposals for paying for it for those who are interested in more detail.
And, as the POTUS said, this is NOT class warfare - it’s math. Class warfare is calling people who live from paycheck to paycheck, indeed often day to day, who pay no federal income taxes and rely on earned income credits to buy new jackets and boots for the kids, “lucky duckies.” I mean, how lucky can you get?
The Prez gave a heck of a good speech which should rally everyone on the left going into the campaign. (Unsurprisingly some of them are already taking credit for it.)
Although I liked pretty much all of the speech, my personal favorite was at the end when he pointed out that dealing with debt and deficit has been an issue for elected officials since the days of George Washington and provided this money quote from the Founding Father himself:
Towards the payment of debts there must be revenue; that to have revenues there must be taxes and no taxes can be devised which are not more or less inconvenient and unpleasant. [Dealing with the debt is] always a choice of difficulties.
Yeah baby! In YER FACE Teabagger A-holes!
He also took a nice little shot at the Grover Norquist crowd and their “no new taxes, ever, for any reason, at any time, no how” pledge by reminding them that the only pledge they really owe allegiance to is their oath of office and pledge to uphold the Constitution.
Guess I’ll have to take up smoking again. ;-) More like that please, Mr. President.
My sister and I use this wry couplet to deride a certain branch of our family tree that reacts to crises real and imagined with hair-pulling panic and hysteria. We don’t find it particularly helpful or effective. In fact, it frequently makes things worse.
Perhaps we’re related—by marriage—to the Carvilles of Louisiana. Former Bill Clinton campaign manager James Carville this week urged the president to respond to the daunting political challenges he faces by panicking. And firing people. An indicting others.
Recommending the freak-out strategy is something of a pattern with Carville. Hey, maybe it works for him. And it is nice to imagine that his neo-con shill wife is reaping her earthly reward via wedlock with an explosive anger-fetus.
But is Carville’s advice really sound, even when you analyze the more substantive points? Jason Linkins has a good rundown of why it’s really not here. Among his points is that if President Obama fires his appointed staff, he’ll transform the West Wing into a howling, tumbleweed-infested void since the Republicans have adopted the policy of refusing to approve any Obama administration appointment on general principles.
Carville advises the president to indict the Wall Street greedheads who brought our economy to its knees. And certainly the prospect of seeing those bastards frog-marched warms the cockles of my little socialist heart.
But there’s one leeetle problem with that: Thanks to the repeal of the Glass Steagall Act (signed by Carville’s former boss), the financial shenanigans that torpedoed our economy—while wildly imprudent scams—were for the most part legal.
Anyhoo, I’m confident Mr. Obama will continue to ignore Carville’s concern-trolling. As well he should.
Yesterday, Steve M at the excellent No More Mr. Nice Blog said that the only way Romney can catch up with Perry is to go full-metal wingnut and paint Perry as a bleeding heart. Steve is right. He cited Perry’s insufficient hatred of Mexicans as an opening for Romney or another candidate to snatch Perry’s Tea Party King crown.
This morning, Perry exposed his soft liberal underbelly even more. A reporter asked Perry about the tea party crowd at last night’s debate cheering the idea that comatose accident victims whose wallets don’t contain insurance cards should be allowed to die untreated and booing Perry’s support for a Texas version of the Dream Act. Here’s Perry’s response:
It was a neat trick to pair the “party of life” label with the dispensin’ Texas justice shtick right there in the same sentence and all, but the takeaway is that Perry was appalled at the tea party ghouls’ desire to let the hypothetical medical treatment-freeloader die. Moreover, Perry intimated that a lack of education on the issues is at the root of it.
Perry also invoked the specter of xenophobia when justifying a policy that was not designed to deport or ghettoize the children of undocumented immigrants. In the eyes of We the Pipple, all of this makes Perry an elitist, PC, collectivist squish. If Romney can’t use his fabled shape-shifting prowess to capitalize on this opportunity, he doesn’t deserve to win the nomination.
I don’t know what to say about the tenth anniversary of 9/11. So here’s a picture of a contemplative boxer dog:
Despite my unaccustomed lack of a firm opinion on the meaning of this day, thanks to Mr. Mark Steyn of the National Review, I have a pretty good idea of what an inappropriate reaction looks like. In paragraph after paragraph, Steyn waxes contemptuous about any 9/11 observance that includes public service, expresses a desire for peace or acknowledges the existence of non-terrorist Muslims.
After delivering a thorough scolding to limp-wristed, candy-arsed, diversity-worshiping hippies with their dumb peace quilts, world peace-promoting wish trees, inappropriately curvacious memorial designs, etc., Steyn shares his thoughts on why the 9/11 terrorists hated America:
And so we commemorate an act of war as a “tragic event,” and we retreat to equivocation, cultural self-loathing, and utterly fraudulent misrepresentation about the events of the day. In the weeks after 9/11, Americans were enjoined to ask, “Why do they hate us?” A better question is: “Why do they despise us?” And the quickest way to figure out the answer is to visit the Peace Quilt and the Wish Tree, the Crescent of Embrace and the Hole of Bureaucratic Inertia.
That’s as fine an illustration of the global distribution of hate-based politics as you’re likely to encounter. And yet we endure.
What’s the takeaway from the speech schedule showdown and its resolution? Two narratives are emerging:
1) The president and/or his team got rolled, pathetically attempting a tough-guy maneuver and getting shown up as smarmy little sissies when forced to cave by a determined and/or crazy GOP.
2) The GOP proved once again that it is made up of bullies and psychopaths who engage in childish obstruction while America is a’swirl in the porcelain.
I’m not sure how to interpret it. The conventional wisdom is that the administration was obviously making a statement and shouldn’t have done so knowing that the House had ultimate control of the schedule. Maybe.
But it is a fact that something like this has never before happened in the history of the United States. For that reason, I’m a little reluctant to join the “he should have known” chorus.
