Critters

Friday, November 06, 2009

Gator attack: Hemingway vs Faulkner

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Last week, a large alligator damaged a city-owned car driven by Tampa, FL cop Terry Ashe. Two reports were filed:

THE OFFICIAL REPORT

Officer Ashe was driving home in Pasco County when he observed an alligator blocking the roadway. He attempted to use his vehicle to scare it out of the road. The alligator became agitated and bit his bumper causing approximately $500 worth of damage. Report will be routed to City Claims/Risk Management.

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/06/09 at 06:26 AM
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Categories: CrittersNews

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Keep it in your heart all year ‘round (updated)

I always get a little sad when Halloween’s over. Y’know what helps me chase the blues away, though?

Halloween merchandise liquidation sales.

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Any troll-ass motherfuckers wanna test me by saying Parker looks great in his “Jango Fett” helmet? Go on, hotshot, do it, I dare you.

Oh, don’t worry, you won’t get banned. Heck, I won’t even let my pit bull bite you!

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I’ll just have him kill you in your sleep.

UPDATE: It has come to light that the fourth sentence in this post is easily misinterpreted. What I’m saying is, I would consider it trolling to act like the prequels are real Star Wars movies. Like if you put on your favorite jazz CD and I was all “turn it up, I love Kenny G!”

Maybe I’m supposed to apologize for my lack of clarity, but whatever, I always thought Eric Burdon made too big a deal out of it.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/03/09 at 04:42 PM
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Categories: CrittersGeek SpeakImages

Friday, October 30, 2009

It was only a matter of time…

This morning Biscuit discovered the toilet paper roll (click for a larger version):

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And as I’m posting this, she’s batting the stripped cardboard roll all around the living room…

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Posted by Kevin K. on 10/30/09 at 09:04 AM
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Categories: CrittersImagesKnee Slappers

Monday, October 26, 2009

Your Evening Biscuit

Getting a lot of complaints about not posting any additional pics of our kitten Biscuit.  Still adorable, still cute, still tons o’ fun (good cripes, I can’t convey how much joy she gave us tonight with a simple prop like a paper bag*)...

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Posted by Kevin K. on 10/26/09 at 07:57 PM
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Categories: CrittersImagesRumproast Related

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Little Bitsy FTW!

Little Bitsy was the winner of week 12 in the Cutest Dog Competition! Woo hoo!  She’s now a semi-finalist and you can vote for her here. [via Balloon Juice]

Posted by Kevin K. on 10/25/09 at 09:48 AM
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Categories: Critters

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Cats have Jerry Springer moments too…

Another embarrassing domestic dispute caught on video:

Via J-TWO-O

Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/22/09 at 08:29 AM
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Categories: CrittersYouTubidity

Let’s Paint, Run & Carve a Pumpkin

Still not finding any new videos worth throwing your way for our Morning Music series, so here’s some Halloween-themed weirdness for you to fill the gap…

MORE: Let’s Paint, Exercise, & Blend Drinks! was the very first post at Rumproast back when I just intended this to be a 27-visitors-a-day personal blog. Oops. Happy 2 Years One Month One Day Anniversary to Rumproast.

REMINDER: Vote for Little Bitsy! (info here)

Posted by Kevin K. on 10/22/09 at 06:52 AM
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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Vote for Little Bitsy

John Cole’s been a good friend to this blog and he’s been busting his ass to score a win for animal rescue darling Little Bitsy in the Cutest Dog Competition, so please go vote for her here. If her utterly adorable cocked head poses don’t reel you in, maybe James Wolcott’s winning endorsement will.

RELATED: Wow, stiff competition.

Posted by Kevin K. on 10/21/09 at 10:32 AM
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Categories: CrittersPoliticsPoliblogsRumproast Related

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Hi Guys, I’m Back!

Not that I actually literally went anywhere, and I’ve been checking in on what’s been going on,  but I have been totally out of energy to write anything or even comment much.  This is due to the fact that I have been struggling not only to recover from a badly broken, or I should actually say, shattered, ankle but, as a CPA, also keep up with the small avalanche of extended tax returns due October 15 that results in a second busy season for those of us professional number crunchers. 

The broken ankle was a direct result of this defective sheltie’s
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insistence that one of these

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was just one of these.

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In my mad scramble down the relatively steep slope in front of our cabin to haul her back, I slipped and fell and bent the ankle under me in a very. bad. way.  Dislocated in addition to broken, as I later found out.  Hey, why do anything half way?

So two surgeries later I have the results for anyone who cares to take a look (squeamish readers alert:  the following picture is graphic but definitely not gory or gross - it’s just an x-ray).

read the whole post »

Posted by marindenver on 10/17/09 at 08:01 PM
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Categories: CrittersRumproast Related

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Post-hoc ergo are you fucking shitting me?

Oh look, AP News has opened a worm hole into the late 1960’s:

A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have. Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

Ha, ha. Weren’t people stupid 40 years ago? Thank goodness Loving v. Virginia cleared up all that nonsense.

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Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 10/15/09 at 07:03 PM
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Categories: CrittersPoliticsNutters

Friday, October 09, 2009

Kübler-Ross among the WATBs

1. Denial. There is no way this thing I don’t like is happening because things I don’t like are not allowed to happen, ever!

2. Anger. OMG!! Despite my warm-up bout of kicking and screaming this thing I don’t like continues to happen!!! Now I’m really mad!!!!

3. Bargaining. Maybe if I kick and scream and stomp and howl and hold my breath until I turn blue, this thing I don’t like will stop happening!!!!!

4. Misdirection. If the thing I don’t like doesn’t stop happening right this minute, communist Muslim liberal terrorists will rape us to death in the streets!!!!!!

5. Distraction. Hey, there’s another thing I don’t like!!!!!!!

[xp 300]

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 10/09/09 at 08:00 PM
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Categories: CrittersPoliticsBedwetters

Friday, October 02, 2009

Drown me! Roast me! Hang me! Do whatever you please!*

It’s time we face up to the truth. We’re deathly afraid of Sarah Palin.

No, look. Look, I don’t like it either, but it’s too late to deny it. The RealAmerican Palindrones are on to us. They’ve flocked to Amazon’s and Barnes & Noble’s websites in order to gaze in adoration at the picture of the cover of Going Rouge: An American Story, and sing the praises of America’s Savior. And her book. You betcha. Even though they haven’t read it. Also. And they’ve let the world know our shameful secret, damn them:

After reading lots of negative comments about Sarah Palin posted mostly by closed minded liberals I have come to the conclusion that they are really frightened by a strong, decisive woman who has proven herself to be a true conservative.

I’m so ashamed!

In addition, what the lefty-lefts fear is that she appeals to “real” people, unlike Obama and his cronies who are definitely from the “elitist” crowd.

Please, please stop tormenting us!

As much hipe [sic] as the liberals would like to stir up about Sarah, and believe me they won’t stop until after 2012, they can’t admit that she scares them to DEATH.

Oh God, not ALL CAPS! How can we deny anything written in ALL CAPS?

I just can’t figure out how they know. Did they sense our laughter was a ruse to hide the shrieks of fear? Did they detect the quaver in our voices as we mocked that accent or dialect or speech impediment or whatever the Hell that is? And what will happen if they realize that should Sarah Palin win the GOP nomination for PotUS, all the dirty Islahomocommies will run screaming for the Canadian border?

Gosh. I sure hope they don’t find out!

While I’m thinking of it, do NOT check out this horrifying post at Wonkette. You won’t sleep for a week.

read the whole post »

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 10/02/09 at 07:24 PM
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Friday doggy bloggy

LOLDOGS edition:

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Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/02/09 at 07:16 AM
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Categories: Critters

Thursday, October 01, 2009

I have no alternative ...

... but to call a caption competition.


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Cheat sheet here. Learnèd linguistic analysis here.

[Via]

Minor Update: For inspiration, views of the oeuvre from different perspectives here.

Posted by YAFB on 10/01/09 at 03:01 PM
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Creepy crawlies

Sweet weepin’ Jeebus with a flyswatter, check out this spider crawling up and down the Pope:

I think it crawled over his actual head at one point (damn the AP camera for cutting away). Did he know it was there and thus display a preternatural ability to ignore pests like spiders, roaches, ants and pedophiles? Or would he have shrieked comically, ripped off his silken white beanie and trampled it beneath his red Prada pumps if he had realized an actual spider was on him? I guess we’ll never know.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 09/29/09 at 02:34 PM
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Categories: CrittersNewsYouTubidity

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