“Anyone ever hear of pocket tweet, pocket dial? I mean it was pretty simple, you know. I have an iPhone 5. If anyone has an iPhone 5, the keys are small,” Brown told Boston’s FOX 25. “It’s very, very sensitive.”
He said his daughter had been teaching him how to use Facebook and Twitter, but “there are some areas that I didn’t really understand.”
“It was after her concert, we were here right in the living room and I responded to a couple of people. And then I put it in my pocket,” he said.
One of the tweets — “bqhatevwr” — quickly became a meme and was widely mocked.
“The next thing, I wake up and I said — it trended worldwide. Worldwide trending on a pocket tweet,” he said.
FOX 25’s Maria Stephanos then asked whether the tweets were just a mistake. “What else would it be?” he replied.
Okay, player—what else could they be? Let’s stipulate you were sober, because, really, I don’t care who drinks and who doesn’t, because I get ‘faced now and again, my ownself. Maybe you just had a case of the fumblefingers, typo’d, and then made Tweets you didn’t have to explain because, duh, just Tweets.
Instead, we get an explanation about asspocket-dialing. On an iPhone 5. Now, I have an Android phone myself, but it does have one of those touchpad deals. It doesn’t even recognize my dry-skinned fingers unless I’ve used a little lotion. They aren’t so weirdly receptive that you can post nonsense handsfree—and even if you could—it would be nonsense. Although there was this one time I nearly texted pi to the tenth decimal place with my butt. It was all like:
And I’m like “That’s random—except if that was pi, it would be ‘3.1415926535’—I thought my ass knew math!” and it was when I had a phone with an actual, not virtual keyboard, and I might have been tipsy like erryone else in the club, oh yeah, and I made that up because you can’t ass-dial a nearly statistically improbable series of numbers anymore than you could a nearly-English language Tweet. So, like, why front, Brown?
Unless, as is the contention of, I believe, most of us here at Rumproast, this Scott Brown guy just ain’t bright. Thus, “Bqhatevwr” has become one of our tags to symbolize not-bright things conservatives say. And I thought I would throw this down about the legend of Brown because he may resurface as a gubernatorial candidate in MA or something. And our auld acquaintance with this knob shouldn’t be forgot. So bqhatevwer for auld lang syne, my dears. His ridicule is just and deserved.
Enterprise Florida, a public-private partnership that funds official state economic development initiatives, paid $380,000 for this logo:
Many lady Floridians are peeved about it since, aside from the period immediately following the release of the film Annie Hall in 1977, men’s neckties haven’t served as an inclusive symbol that encompasses both sexes.
The article linked above is all about the tie in the logo, but it also features this video publicized by the same outfit:
All the hands in the video appear to be attached to men, with the possible exception of the gloved hands, which look decidedly masculine, but who knows?
I can see how maybe one all-male piece of advertising collateral slipped under the radar (though a competent creative director should have caught it). But the all-male video too? Now it’s harder to see this as an honest mistake.
We Florida business ladies are being dissed! And did Enterprise Florida really pay $380,000 US dollars for that logo? (If so, I’d like to speak to them about some land I’m putting on the market, teeming with biodiversity and mere centimeters from the surface!)
This branding initiative was unveiled by Governor Voldemort, who slashed funding for the disabled and schools so he could attempt to zero out the corporate tax rate. Those tea-people really get financial stewardship.
Not the dementia-addled former president who deinstitutionalized the mentally ill so they could start new lives under crumbling overpasses and reconstituted Congress as a hub of sociopathy – we know where HE is. I mean Florida Governor Rick Scott’s “rescue dog” / campaign prop, which shared a name with the president who popularized the notion of government-hating government officials in the modern era.
TALLAHASSEE — Shortly after winning the GOP nomination in 2010, Rick Scott announced to the world through Facebook that his family had rescued a Labrador retriever. And, with help from his Facebook friends, Scott gave it a name: Reagan.
Asked last week what had happened to the dog, Scott’s current and former communications directors refused to answer.
After reporters, uh, dogged the Scott administration about the whereabouts of Reagan and got an increasingly bizarre runaround, the paper went directly to the governor:
“He was a rescue dog,’’ Scott said, “and he couldn’t be around anybody that was carrying anything, and so he wouldn’t get better.”
Scott said Reagan never bit anyone but “scared the living daylights’’ out of people at the mansion. He said one kitchen employee threatened to quit and photographer Eric Tournay was frightened when the dog “barked like crazy’’ every time he saw him with a camera.
So the Scotts gave the dog back to his prior owner, Scott said, about a month after the family moved to Tallahassee.
After learning that Times reporters had talked to the governor, a spokeswoman called to say Reagan had been returned about a year ago to All Pets Grooming and Boarding, a business in Naples.
Okay, this sounds fishy. For one thing, is this Naples grooming service actually a dog rescue operation? Doesn’t look like it from the organization’s minimal web presence. Maybe that part is legit.
Still, Scott made enough money bilking Medicare that he was able to purchase the state governorship for $72 million. He couldn’t hire Cesar Millan or Victoria Stilwell to train his dog? Or, failing that, he couldn’t let the dog live with the staff in one of his numerous residences so it wouldn’t scare people in the Governor’s Mansion?
A spokesman for the governor’s wife also declined to respond to questions about Reagan, saying only that they have one dog.
“Her name is Tallee and she is a 7-year-old rescue Lab,’’ said Jackie Schutz, a spokeswoman for Mrs. Scott.
Where Tallee came from and where Reagan went were still unknown.
I’m guessing poor Tallee is another political prop, perhaps on loan from a GOP donor. Obviously, Scott doesn’t know the beast well:
“This dog is the neediest dog. When I worked out this morning, he wants to be right next to you the whole time. If you do a push-up, he wants to be underneath you as you do a push-up. He’s a sweet dog,’’ Scott said.
Um, Tallee is a girl, Governor Scott. At least, that’s what Mrs. Scott’s spokeswoman said. WTF? Seamus wept.
Via MaddowBlog: FL Senator Marco Rubio told a huge whopper on Twitter:
Rubio is marginally more intelligent than the average tea party loon, which is why, although he was happy to ride their Cap’n Crunch coattails to the US Senate, he is careful to keep them at arm’s length. That may come in handy for him.
Rubio’s party doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the deficit the tea party idiots are howling about; Rubio’s party wants to continue looting the US Treasury on behalf of Mitt Romney’s class. To do so, Rubio’s party needs to destroy Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and any other social program that implies by its existence that corporations and the plutocrats who run them have an obligation to the country.
Rubio doesn’t have a problem with his party’s objectives, but he does have an optics issue, in that he represents a state with a significant number of senior citizens who will be cheesed off if Rubio’s party—led by the tea party nuts—continues to champion cuts in social programs to ensure that Mitt Romney pays less than 14% a year in taxes on his investment income.
There’s no rational case Rubio can make to his constituents on why they should favor screwing themselves to shovel largess to multimillionaire dancing horse hobbyists. So Rubio will just try to bluff his way through this conundrum with big fat lies and hope it blows over before he’s up for reelection.
Will people be dumb enough to fall for that? Could be! This is Florida, after all. But there’s some evidence to suggest that there’s a limit to the stupid.
Comically obvious arch-villain Florida Governor Rick Scott doesn’t understand why you people are so upset about waiting until one o’clock in the morning to cast a ballot and STILL having no official outcome five days later:
“Look, it was a close race. We want to make sure every vote gets counted. Every vote’s important, so I think the secretary did the right thing,” Scott said. “Here’s what people should feel good about: We have a diligent and thorough process, and every vote’s getting counted.”
Here’s what people should feel good about: Even if the Dems tap an Everglades python that has just swallowed a litter of puppies on live TV to run against Scott in 2014, Scott will lose. Here’s what people should feel queasy about: The Florida Democratic Party is dumb enough to blow this opportunity.
Right now, the name being bandied about the most is former GOP Governor Charlie Crist, who got booted out of the Republican primary in favor of Marco Rubio when he ran for US Senate, then switched to independent to take Rubio on and got his ass kicked.
Crist wasn’t an awful governor, and he’s been a stand-up guy for President Obama—ever since Crist realized his former party had turned into a freak show, which just happened to coincide with its rejection of himself. I’m sure he’d be perfectly willing to morph into a Democrat to run against Scott. But in a state where disgust with Republicans is at its highest level in years, maybe we don’t have to settle for a Blue Dog. This ain’t Missouri.
Former Tampa Mayor Pam Iorio, who knows how to handle the clowns at Fox News, was one of the few Supervisors of Elections who didn’t embarrass the state back in 2000. She was an excellent and popular mayor of a key Florida city.
Now she’s speaking out on the still-unfolding 2012 voting debacle. Unlike Crist, Iorio actually is a Democrat. I know it’s crazy, but I’m hoping the Florida Democratic Party will nominate a Democrat to take on Scott.
The big problem for the Romney campaign—aside from the fact that the nominee comes across as a less sensitive, more entitled Thurston Howell III—is that Willard had to take extreme positions throughout the primary to secure the nomination, and he daren’t pivot to the center now for fear the rabid wingnut base will eat him alive.
I guess that makes Dana Loesch the new Peggy Noonan, with golden showers for the dead fantasies replacing magical Jesus dolphins. Personally, I think it’s an improvement: All wingnut pundits have the same goal; the cruder set is commendably transparent, at least.
Speaking of transparent extremists, Governor He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named has declared that, Supreme Court rulings be damned, there are no laws from a Democratic administration that a Republican is bound to respect:
“We’re not going to implement Obamacare in Florida,” Scott told Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren late Friday night. “We’re not going to expand Medicaid because we’re going to do the right thing. We’re not going to do the exchange.”
Three million-plus uninsured Floridians? Fuck them. Free market, bitches!
Scott amassed the fortune necessary to buy the governorship with the $72 million that had fallen into his sofa cushions after his company defrauded Medicare to the tune of $1.7 billion dollars. Segregated access to healthcare works just fine for Scott, so if he has to stand in front of the healthcare edifice door to deny entry to a poor person, so be it.
“In the name of the greatest for-profit healthcare corporations that have ever trod this earth, I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of ObamaCare, and I say segregated access to healthcare now, segregated access to healthcare tomorrow, segregated access to healthcare forever.”
I need a drink. Anyone got a cocktail recipe to share?
When Romney campaigns in Florida, there is one person who is notably absent: hard-right Republican Governor Rick Scott. It’s not hard to understand why; Scott’s approval rating in the state slightly trails that of the clap.
Still, the explanations of why the governor and the GOP nominee keeping coincidentally “missing” each other on the campaign trail are getting kind of strained. And Scott has apparently been told to make like a prairie dog and disappear down a hidey-hole during the GOP convention: Where he once bragged about a prime-time speaking slot at the event, now he says this:
“I’ve never done a convention before,” Scott said. “My goal is just to be helpful in whatever they ask me to do.”
The Republicans think it might be helpful for Scott to schedule a trade mission to Australia in late August. Or maybe visit a leper colony.
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named told a Florida radio station that he was mistakenly dropped from the voter rolls in 2006 on account of being dead. This forced the future purchaser of the Florida governorship to cast a provisional ballot. Luckily, Voldemort future Governor Scott was later able to produce an intact Horcrux driver’s license as proof of life, so his votes counted.
The Dark Lord Governor Scott contends that if he could produce a Magickal Object ID to secure his right to vote, then by god, so can all those US citizens who are being jettisoned from the rolls in the Great Voter Purge of 2012. So shut up.
If you’re not too busy, perhaps you could look into this:
Kay covered Florida Governor Rick Scott’s brazen attempt to steal the upcoming election here yesterday. The issue is getting some local press, and it was heavily covered on the MSNBC line-up last night. But aside from that, the story isn’t getting a lot of play in the national press.
Maddow pointed out that whites make up only 13% of the names on the purge list (and are more than 60% of the state population as a whole). The whole thing stinks to high heaven, and unless the DOJ steps in, it looks like Scott might get away with it.
But it’s only a fundamental right being stripped away from legitimate citizens. I’m glad the media decided to focus instead on what the guy who wears a hair clump from the shower drain on his head says and how it might affect the fortunes of the guy who strapped a dog to the roof of his car.
The GOP power acquisition and propaganda machine is a fearsome opponent. It owns a worldwide media empire. It has enjoyed remarkable electoral success by pumping out race-baiting bilge and generating pseudo-science and artfully worded lies to convince low-info voters to vote against their own interests and preserve and expand already lavish advantages for plutocrats.
It’s underwritten by fat cats who are capable of pooping out billion-dollar bales of cash to support the cause without experiencing the tiniest impact on their unimaginably privileged, Sun King-like lifestyles. So it’s tempting to view that operation as infallible and to imagine that its strategy is crafted by evil geniuses against whom it may be impossible to prevail. And then you see something like this:
Hahaha! The Koch brothers flew the blogger formerly known as “Hindrocket” in to their confab to provide intellectual fodder! The blogger perhaps most famous for his tremulous reverence for the unappreciated genius of George W. Bush!
It must be very strange to be President Bush. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.
It’s like riding out onto the plain of Minas Tirith to face the Nazgûl and confronting a cranky, mange-ridden ferret instead. They got nothing. Well, they got the aforementioned bales of cash and global media empire. But aside from that, they got nothing.
This is Daisy, who is, as you can see, blessed with great physical beauty. She’s even got matching beauty moles. She is somewhat vain in consequence. I tell both my dogs that they’re smart girls, good girls, beautiful girls. But with Daisy, it is definitely the latter that resonates. She takes in the sun like a glamorous 50s-era movie star in San Tropez, even though she is only a dog in Florida.
The sun is one thing we’ve still got going for us in Florida. Otherwise, things are pretty shitty. We’ve got double-digit unemployment. Nearly half of our houses are underwater in the mortgage sense and will be among the first literally underwater if nothing is done about climate change. And nothing will be done because Republicans and Fox News have successfully demagogued that issue to their mouth-breathing audience, some of whom will eventually require snorkels to continue their mouth-breathing.
Brian Beutler at TPM wonders if the GOP plans to follow Paul Ryan down the kill-Medicare rabbit hole again in an election year and concludes that yes, they do:
Why on earth would Republicans put the whole party back on the line? Particularly after a year of serial brinkmanship and overreach that has dragged their popularity down to record lows?
The answers speak as much to the hubris of this GOP majority as it does to the fact that the party’s in thrall to a movement that demands unyielding commitment to a platform of reducing taxes on high-income earners and rolling back popular, though expensive, federal support programs.
Ryan & Co. plan to coat the poison pill with saccharine-flavored provisions (inexplicably) contributed by Democratic Senator Ron Wyden, which were soundly rejected by Wyden’s fellow Democrats when the “bipartisan” agreement was announced a couple of months ago.
However, the sham “compromise” backed by Wyden puts the GOP in the unenviable position of having to explain subtleties to two different audiences with opposing agendas: It doesn’t accomplish the utter annihilation of Medicare the tea party extremists want since it contains a “public option” (no, really) that purports to preserve the program in its original form rather than leaving seniors entirely to the tender mercies of the private insurance industry.
But it does tie the cost of the “public option” version of Medicare to market permutations, which would almost certainly drive costs up for seniors, many of whom are Republicans. The devil is in the details, but it’s hard to see how this could actually save money without reducing benefits or raising costs.
As Beutler notes, Democrats are happy to have this debate again, especially in an election year. But should they be? Does Wyden’s participation provide a sufficient fig leaf for the “zombie-eyed granny starver”? I’m thinking not, though surely outfits like PolitiHack will do their utmost to muddy the waters.
U.S. Rep. Allen West of Florida rivals even Rep. Joe Walsh, R-Deadbeat Dad, in personal and political assholery. Having been booted out of the Army for a harsh interrogation incident in Iraq, West went on to win a House seat during the 2010 election.
Since then, he has consistently hit every wingnut pleasure center, comparing Democrats to Joseph Goebbels, styling himself a modern-day Harriet Tubman sent to lead African Americans off the liberal plantation and accusing President Obama of playing the race card while speculating that a prospective Democratic opponent “likes running against black guys.” Here’s Rep. West, R-Plantation (honest to god!), last night telling President Obama, Nancy Smash, et al, to “get the hell out of the United States of America.”
The teahadists eat that sort of thing up with a spoon, naturally. But the Florida GOP, which has a supermajority in the state legislature and is headed up by GOP Governor Rick “Voldemort” Scott, has undertaken a project to redraw the state’s districts—after being compelled to do so by votes on a ballot initiative in 2010. And it looks like Mr. West might be headed south.
Who would rob the nation of such a fiery demagogue? Wingnuts can’t pin this one on the Dems, who are pretty much powerless in Florida. But Colonel Mustard has a clue:
One of the rising stars of the Tea Party is about to be sacrificed by the Republican establishment in Florida, led by someone spinning for Mitt Romney.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
It was Will Weatherford in the Conservatory with a wrench! Well, the truth is, West was in some trouble with voters anyway. I don’t live in his district, but from what I understand, voting in a certified loon like West was something of an aberration for that area, and it’s possible they find West’s constant grandstanding a bit embarrassing.
Also, the state GOP had to be prepared to shed a few seats while still stacking the deck in their own favor. So, tough luck, West. The extent to which this develops into a Tea Party-Establishment flap is just warm, rich, savory gravy.
Charles Krauthammer is mad enough to stomp bunnies, a man consumed with the type of bitterness that can only come from being thwarted by putative allies when a cherished goal is in sight. Things were going so well. With an assist from elderly social conservatives in patriot drag,* the GOP had successfully rebranded the economic free fall and debt juggernaut Bush bequeathed to the American people as the consequence of Obama’s “reckless spending, new entitlements and oppressive regulation with higher taxes.”
The GOP’s electoral victories in 2010 put conservative fantasies about tossing old ladies and elderly gents into the maw of the private insurance industry and slashing social programs that serve the poor like Freddy Krueger on a meth binge tantalizingly within reach. And then Gingrich and Perry had to go and fuck everything up.
Via Balloon Juice by way of Gawker, a story of parental angst in The Heartland occasioned by a Wisconsin motel owner’s cheeky support of the effort to recall Governor Scott Walker:
You know, people with kids are driving by. And you know there are little kids who are 8, 9, 10 years old who are old enough to be able to read that and might say, ‘Mommy, what does that mean?’” said Andrea Lombard, a Sauk County supervisor and first vice chairwoman of the Republican Party of Sauk County. “Well, how does Mommy explain that? I’m not sure.”
Well, Andrea, since I’ve had to explain both TruckNutz and “erectile dysfunction” to preschoolers thanks to yahoo neighbors and Viagra (respectively), perhaps I can help. The trick is to explain this delicate subject in age-appropriate, non-judgmental language:
Union-busting Republican politicians and billionaire bosses of multinational super-polluters like each other very, very much, and sometimes the Republican politician, like Governor Walker, wants to express his friendship in a very special way, so he pretends that a billionaire super-polluter, like Mr. Koch, is something super-tasty. Sort of like a popsicle. Yum!
Something like that would probably work. You’re welcome.