Election '10

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Yes We Can-Can


Charles Krauthammer is mad enough to stomp bunnies, a man consumed with the type of bitterness that can only come from being thwarted by putative allies when a cherished goal is in sight. Things were going so well. With an assist from elderly social conservatives in patriot drag,* the GOP had successfully rebranded the economic free fall and debt juggernaut Bush bequeathed to the American people as the consequence of Obama’s “reckless spending, new entitlements and oppressive regulation with higher taxes.”

The GOP’s electoral victories in 2010 put conservative fantasies about tossing old ladies and elderly gents into the maw of the private insurance industry and slashing social programs that serve the poor like Freddy Krueger on a meth binge tantalizingly within reach. And then Gingrich and Perry had to go and fuck everything up.

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Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/21/12 at 09:55 AM

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

What to tell the children…


Via Balloon Juice by way of Gawker, a story of parental angst in The Heartland occasioned by a Wisconsin motel owner’s cheeky support of the effort to recall Governor Scott Walker:

You know, people with kids are driving by. And you know there are little kids who are 8, 9, 10 years old who are old enough to be able to read that and might say, ‘Mommy, what does that mean?’” said Andrea Lombard, a Sauk County supervisor and first vice chairwoman of the Republican Party of Sauk County. “Well, how does Mommy explain that? I’m not sure.”

Well, Andrea, since I’ve had to explain both TruckNutz and “erectile dysfunction” to preschoolers thanks to yahoo neighbors and Viagra (respectively), perhaps I can help. The trick is to explain this delicate subject in age-appropriate, non-judgmental language:

Union-busting Republican politicians and billionaire bosses of multinational super-polluters like each other very, very much, and sometimes the Republican politician, like Governor Walker, wants to express his friendship in a very special way, so he pretends that a billionaire super-polluter, like Mr. Koch, is something super-tasty. Sort of like a popsicle. Yum!

Something like that would probably work. You’re welcome.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 12/21/11 at 12:13 PM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Saturday, December 17, 2011

He’s also bilingual in English and Jive


Nice try, Wisconsin and Ohio, but I’m afraid you’re just not going to walk away with the prize on “America’s Biggest Bastard Governor” this season. Florida’s Rick Scott is just as wingnutty and union-busty as your chief execs, but he brings a level of personal awkwardness and presumptuousness to the role that your governors simply can’t match:

Confronted by a group of angry Florida A&M students outside his home on Thursday night, Florida Governor Rick Scott (R) attempted to generate some empathy by telling the mostly black crowd that he grew up in public housing.


“The white guv bizarrely attempted to quell the mostly black crowd by beginning his speech with some version of: ‘Hey, I grew up in public housing,’” the Miami New Times explained. “To which students protested, ‘We’re not poor!’” ... It might not have been called out as sounding racist if Scott hadn’t tried that very same approach with a group of black lawmakers in February.

“I grew up probably in the same situation as you guys,” he said to a collection of black Democrats. “I started school in public housing. My dad had a sixth-grade education.”

The comments led to Scott being booted from the luncheon.

Bring it, Governors Walker and Kasich. You’ll never out-asshole our Governor Scott.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 12/17/11 at 08:47 AM

Categories: NewsPoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Pee Party

Daily Show correspondent asks Voldemort Rick Scott to pee in a cup to prove that the country’s most despised governor is not squandering Florida taxpayer dollars on drugs:

Just how despised is Bat Boy Rick Scott? Let’s just say he’s about as popular as a shot of urine in a latte: Scott’s approval rating is now at the low end of the Crazification Factor range.

This means that only survey participants who would choose “lead paint flakes” over “corn flakes” as their favorite breakfast cereal are still on the Scott bandwagon. Oh, and tea partiers, of course. Pardon the redundancy.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 12/08/11 at 09:22 AM

Categories: NewsPoliticsBedwettersElection '10NuttersTeabaggeryPolisnark

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Teabag Rep serves a mug of STFU to constituents at “Cup of Joe with Joe” event

I know y’all will find this shocking, but deadbeat-dad IL (R) Congressman Joe Walsh is a total dick:

Shorter Walsh for those who won’t leave the boat: “The financial crisis happened because the government encouraged home ownership, so leave the banks aloooooonnnnneee! Because shut up, that’s why!”

Gyad, what a braying jackass. God knows the competition for Most Clueless Asshole in US Politics is mighty fierce, but Walsh certainly makes a strong case for his candidacy by shrieking at and threatening to remove perfectly civil constituents at his sparsely attended event. I hope his district has the good sense to toss him out on his ass at the very next opportunity.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/09/11 at 02:28 PM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '10Election '12NuttersTeabaggery

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Still mostly 50+, white Republicans.

An MSNBC reporter follows up on yesterday’s news, looking in on several tea partiers they profiled last year to witness the political evolution of the members of this totally spontaneous, diverse, non-Astroturfed group of heartland patriots. Surprisingly, they’re all still older, white Republicans!


Another startling development: They still don’t like President Obama. And they’re not too keen on those smelly Occupy hippies stealing their limelight either. I’m so glad MSNBC saw fit to run this item above the fold. You just can’t find that kind of hard-hitting feature anywhere else.

PS: Erick Son of Erick says that Mitt Romney will be the nominee, which means “conservatism dies and Barack Obama wins.” From your lips to God’s ears, Son of Erick!

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/08/11 at 10:22 AM

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Chicago group tells Walker to take a hike

Union-busting Koch-sucker gets creatively interrupted:


Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/05/11 at 05:09 PM

Categories: NewsPoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggeryYouTubidity

Thursday, November 03, 2011

1% consumer fails to check product specs before making $73 million purchase

Florida Governor Rick Scott: “Tampa Bay? Is that, like, some body of water or something?”

Note to Scott voters: If you haven’t commenced punching yourselves in the face for your monumental stupidity in electing this clueless swindler, now would be a fine time to start. Thanks!

[H/T: Wonkette]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/03/11 at 11:03 AM

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

They’re already here


One of the most gratifying / terrifying aspects of child-rearing is to see one’s own expressions, mannerisms and proclivities mirrored back by a brand-new human being. I experience this regularly as the mother of a girl who is possibly the world’s most sarcastic middle-schooler.

The cockles of TX Representative Ron Paul’s heart must be frequently warmed by observing how near his son, KY Senator Rand Paul, fell to the filial tree, what with their shared interest in Ayn Rand, medicine, fringey conservative politics and goldbuggery. But despite these similarities, Paul the father and Paul the son strike me as two very different types of men.

The elder Paul is definitely a crackpot with many unsavory associates, but on a personal level, he doesn’t come across as an arrogant prick. This is not the case with Paul the younger, who seems smarmy, egotistical, priggish and utterly humorless.

However, as it turns out, Rand Paul’s prickly, giggle-repellent exterior contains an absolute laff riot, only we’re not allowed to experience Funny Rand because of overly sensitive females. Commenting on the Herman Cain sexual harassment story yesterday, Rand Paul said this:

“There are people [i.e., men—ed.] now who hesitate to tell a joke to a woman in the workplace, any kind of joke, because it could be interpreted incorrectly. I don’t. I’m very cautious.”

So there you have it, ladies: Rand Paul could have us rolling in the aisles with a vast assortment of knock-knock jokes, limericks featuring men from Nantucket, jibes about 9-inch pianists, jests about priests and rabbis walking into a bar, etc.

But thanks to your silly aversion to a “hostile work environment” (whatever the hell that means) and unreasonable insistence on not being treated like a cocktail waitress at a frat rush, Rand Paul is forced to stifle the hilarity he would otherwise share and assume the persona of a hectoring, smug, mirthless asshole. I hope you’re happy now.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/02/11 at 06:56 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Huddled Marco

Thanks to those kooky birthers, new details about the family history of wingnut pin-up squish Marco Rubio came to light that discredit the “son of exiles” shtick the junior senator from Florida rode to national prominence. I’m not sure how it plays outside Florida, but down here, a family connection to anti-Castro Cuban exiles is a very big deal politically and socially, which is why Rubio never fails to allude to it in a speech and flashed that cred so prominently on his senate bio page:


Well, that was last week. After it came out that Rubio’s parents left Cuba for Florida in 1956—while Castro was in Mexico plotting the revolution that would take place in 1959—Rubio’s minions updated the page:


Rubio calls the suggestion that he embellished the family story for political gain “outrageous” and renewed his claim to “son of exiles” status by asserting that his parents would have eventually returned to Cuba if Castro hadn’t taken it over after they left. That’s weak sauce, and it smacks of desperation because Rubio knows this is a big deal, even if others, including Andrew Sullivan, don’t:

His official bio is wrong, and it’s worth pointing that out. And the issue is not trivial: there is a difference between assessing one’s options and leaving Cuba before Castro came to power and fleeing his persecution afterward. But the get is underwhelming.

It’s not underwhelming at all, and I’ll tell you why: These revelations transform the Rubio family’s immigration story from a conservative to a progressive morality tale. His parents weren’t fleeing a commie dictator in search of freedom; they were escaping a right-wing oligarch seeking economic opportunity, not unlike the landscaper Mitt Romney fired because Mitt is “running for office, for Pete’s sake.”

I doubt this will knock Rubio off the wingnut Bieber circuit—the GOP brain is remarkably impervious to the intrusion of facts. But Rubio’s carefully constructed political persona may be beginning to unravel. It’s as if “son of a mill-worker” John Edwards’ father were found to be the mill owner.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/22/11 at 08:26 AM

Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Florida Repubs seek to overturn job-killing ban on dwarf tossing


I swear I’m not making this up.

In other news, Sarah Palin is STILL not running for president! The shell-shocked Palin Cult is trying to come to grips with this unthinkable development. I haven’t heard such wailing and gnashing of teeth since Hillary Clinton conceded the Democratic primary in 2008, in many cases from the very same people. What can one say besides this? And this?

Posted by Betty Cracker on 10/06/11 at 06:21 AM

Categories: NewsPoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggeryPUMAsSports

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Class War Redux:  Top Congressonal Repubs Urge Bernanke to Do Nothing to Help Economy


What’s that old saying about when you point your finger at somebody there are four fingers pointing back at you?  Despite Republican claims that Obama is fomenting class warfare by having the nerve to ask the wealthy to pay the same proportionate share of their income in taxes as middle class taxpayers, it’s becoming crystal clear that the real class warfare is being waged by Republicans on lower and middle income Americans.

In addition to resurrecting the meme that people who don’t make enough money to have a federal tax liability are somehow “lucky” and therefore need to get more “skin in the game” (like, maybe, a pound of skin?) they are today asking Fed Chair Ben Bernanke not to do anything that could conceivably improve the economy.

Monday the top four Congressional Republicans (John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Jon Kyl and Eric Cantor) signed a letter  to the Chairman saying in part:

It is not clear that the recent round of quantitative easing undertaken by the Federal Reserve has facilitated economic growth or reduced the unemployment rate. To the contrary, there has been significant concern expressed by Federal Reserve Board Members, academics, business leaders, Members of Congress and the public. Although the goal of quantitative easing was, in part, to stabilize the price level against deflationary fears, the Federal Reserve’s actions have likely led to more fluctuations and uncertainty in our already weak economy.

We have serious concerns that further intervention by the Federal Reserve could exacerbate current problems or further harm the U.S. economy. Such steps may erode the already weakened U.S. dollar or promote more borrowing by overleveraged consumers. To date, we have seen no evidence that further monetary stimulus will create jobs or provide a sustainable path towards economic recovery.

Not only is this political meddling  in the decisions of the independent Federal Reserve Board unprecedented, it is just further proof that the Republican leadership does not want the economy to improve.  Full stop period.

Combine this with the upcoming threat to shut down the government again over the issue of whether disaster relief spending should be offset by cuts elsewhere and it doesn’t require a whole lot of deduction to conclude that the Rethugs are truly waging a class war and won’t stop until we’ve become a feudal society.  Because, apparently, this is what the Founders had in mind, or something.

Posted by marindenver on 09/21/11 at 01:25 PM

Categories: PoliticsBarack ObamaElection '10Election '12NuttersTeabaggery

Monday, August 29, 2011

Shocking news about Florida’s crooked governor


The crook who was ousted from his crooked healthcare corporation for perpetrating massive fraud and then purchased the governorship of Florida for $73 million is now acting like a…wait for it…CROOK! Hoocoodanode?

Kindly feel free to rip Governor Voldemort a new one in comments or treat this as an open thread…

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/29/11 at 10:13 AM

Categories: PoliticsElection '10NuttersTeabaggery

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Man Who Will Be King

Now the Republicans simply must convince Senator Marco Rubio of Florida to run for president or force him to run as second banana to Perry or Bachmann or whichever horrid teatard bags the nomination: Not only does he have 50% more vowels in his name than the average GOPer, Rubio saved Nancy Reagan!

VIDEO: Nancy Reagan falls : MyFoxORLANDO.com

I wonder what Mrs. Reagan was whispering to Rubio before she almost face-planted? Probably something like, “Can you fetch me a mojito, ‘Lonzo?”

Fox reported that Mrs. Reagan appeared uninjured, took her seat and remained in it for the entire night’s speechifying. Well, it’s not like she had much of a choice, did she? Poor old thing.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/24/11 at 01:12 PM

Categories: NewsPoliticsElection '10Election '12NuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid Media

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry (Part 2)


As they did during another crisis incident faced by the Obama administration (the BP spill), media types and emogressives are urging the president to get riled up over the shitty economy. Obama is too damn squishy and effete, they complain. So professorial. He lacks “fire in the belly.”

Perhaps they’re forgetting another reality as this beleaguered president tries to manage and mitigate America’s ongoing nervous breakdown: Where they see a too-cool customer who needs to get fired up and start swinging at the opposition, the other half of this bipolar nation sees a scary black man who wants to get whitey.

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Posted by Betty Cracker on 08/10/11 at 06:37 AM

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