Jeebus, the pre-debt ceiling deal freak-out is in full swing. My email box is crammed with urgent messages from lefty organizations like Bold Progressives.
Though the punctuation is marginally better and the writers are less reliant on the CAPS key, the breathless outrage and sketchy sourcing remind me of the wingnut chain emails my old granny forwards about Sharia law and SOCIALISM!11!! and how Obama turns his back on the flag during the pledge of allegiance.
I’ll be pissed if any debt deal results in widening the already unacceptable chasm between the haves and have-nots. But I recognize that Obama, Pelosi, et al, are dealing with the most florid pack of sociopaths to infest Congress since before the Civil War. Therefore, I think I’ll continue to give the benefit of the doubt to the sane. Which seems to include fewer on “our” side every damn day.
Rich politicelebrity Mike Huckabee, whose official residence is a multimillion-dollar Florida beach house, simply cannot understand why Governor Rick Scott is less popular than butt acne:
“You’re doing a lot of things people had hoped you would do, and yet (your) approval rating recently has not been steller [sic],” Huckabee said. “And I’m stunned as to why.”
And Scott is doing a lot of things Florida residents such as Rush Limbaugh, Matt Drudge and Ann Coulter hoped he would do, like attempting to auction off disabled orphans’ crutches and wheelchairs to zero out one of the nation’s lowest corporate tax rates and completing the pauperization of the state’s already impoverished public school system.
He’s only been in office for about six months, but Governor (P)Rick Scott of Florida has hit rock bottom, besting near-universally loathed assholes like Wisconsin’s Scott Walker, Ohio’s John Kasich and Illinois’ Pat Quinn to grab the nation’s most unpopular governor title. How pathetic is Scott? He’s down to 29% approval, which is well within the Crazification Factor margin of error.
Like I said, he’s only been governor for six months! The Scott Administration may offer an important test for the Crazification Factor, which holds that approximately 27% to 29% of Americans (and perhaps people worldwide, I dunno) are either batshit crazy or so irrational and indifferent to their own interests that they might as well be. Think Bush dead-enders, hardcore Palinites, Alan Keyes voters. That crazy.
Since we’ve got three and a half years left under Scott and he’s probably not going to suddenly stop acting like an imperious, greedy, compassion-free asshole, we’ll get to see how the Crazification Factor theory holds up. If Scott’s approval ratings sink even lower, it could have far-reaching implications for brain-injury regeneration and psychosis recovery research.
Gov. Rick Scott undermines Florida’s water policy
In Print: Wednesday, June 8, 2011
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Piece by piece, Florida’s water policy is being dismantled. First, Gov. Rick Scott and the Legislature forced the state’s water management districts to slash property tax collections. Then the Scott administration pressured the Southwest Florida Water Management District to eliminate its local basin boards, and its executive director to resign. Now the administration is overturning decisions by water management districts to buy property to protect water supplies. Such political interference by a governor is unprecedented, and it undermines the professional management of the state’s water resources.
On the upside, maybe my future granddaughter will be cool like Tank Girl.
Now we denizens of Rumproast have had a little fun with some of the Pubbie’s prior plans. There was the momentous, widely heralded “Road to Recovery” which seemed to largely follow the dynamics of the underwear gnomes’ road to profits!! Mostly through unspecified roads to cutting taxes, cutting spending and drill, baby, drilling!
And after that came the “Pledge to America”. Which pledged to cut taxes, cut spending and drill baby, drill! Oh, and missiles. Missiles were in there too.
But the Repubs have learned to listen to wee the peepuls and they know that what peepuls are worried about right now is jobs! And mainly LACK THEREOF! So, as a party of responsive politicians who are responsive to the concerns of their constituents (well unless you’re talking about Medicare but never-mind-about-that-now) the responsible party of responsive leaders has issued The House Republican Plan for America’s Job Creators”.* Only I can’t give true justice to that title because I don’t know how to ramp the font on this thing up to ginormous. Which is how the Republican Plan for America’s Job Creators was able to be stretched out to a whopping 10 pages. Pictures, too. Lots of pictures inserted. In fact page 4 is just one giant picture.
And arguably the use of huge fonts and lots of pictures is not a bad strategy for this document as it semi-disguises the fact that, guess what? This latest Republican Plan has nothing to say except cut taxes, cut spending and drill baby, drill. Because that will create sooooooooo many new jobs. Just like it did all through the Bush administration.
Here is your very own opportunity to tell truth from fiction as we recount three stories of bastardly wingnut mind blowing hard heartedness and just plain meanness. Your job is to guess which story is actually true, astonishing though it may seem. (For that reason, of course, actual links are not being provided until we reveal the winning story.) Ready? Here we go.
Story Number 1: Everyone must certainly be aware of the devastating tornado that demolished a hospital and several other buildings in Joplin, Missouri over the weekend. The scenes of devastation and misery that have come out of the tragedy are horrific and heart rending. The area has been given federal disaster designation and the government is rushing to provide funds to help the victims as much as possible. Except, hold on, not so fast there. House Majority Leader Eric Cantor wants to put on the brakes. Spending on the Joplin disaster should be allowed only if it is paid for by cutting spending elsewhere. Otherwise let’s just hope all the victims have rilly, rilly good insurance.
Story Number 2: Kansas state Rep Pete DeGraaf, commenting on a state bill to outlaw abortion coverage (except to save the woman’s life) in any general health insurance policy issued in that state compared women who become pregnant as a result of rape to motorists who fail to carry spare tires in their trunk. You see the law would allow women in Kansas to purchase special insurance just to cover abortions. Any right thinking women, opines Rep. DeGraaf, R-Hell, would think ahead, expect to possibly be raped and purchase the insurance as a safety precaution. After all, he argued, “I also have life insurance. I have a lot of things that I plan ahead for.”
Story Number 3: At a town hall in Georgia Repub Rep Rob Woodall made an outright case for terminating Medicare. When one of his constituents objected to the Republican proposals by pointing out that her employer did not provide retiree insurance and she did not otherwise know where she would find it (you know, pre-existing conditions and all) Woodall replied “Hear yourself, ma’am. Hear yourself. You want the government to take care of you, because your employer decided not to take care of you. My question is, ‘When do I decide I’m going to take care of me?’” Not, of course, that the honorable Congressman has such a concern. No, his years as a house staffer and now a member of the House of Representatives will guarantee nice retirement benefits and full insurance coverage.
OK, have we all made our guesses? Well, just slip under the fold and we’ll reveal the answer.
It’s hard to know what to make of the Republicans’ big pile-on of Newt Gingrich when he just told the straight truth about Paul Ryan’s plan to destroy Medicare so we can save Medicare. Especially in light of the fact that the general public absolutely hates the plan. In fact a few days ago the Republican leadership, despite the fact that the House Repubs voted overwhelmingly in favor of it, were kinda, sorta trying to walk things back.
Then came Newt on the scene calling Ryan’s idea “social engineering from the right” and justlikethat politicians, pundits and radio talk spew hosts were all over him like flies on a picnic table. I first thought of illustrating the post with this picture:
But after I heard the phrase “cut [Ryan] off at the knees” being blurted out by Limbaugh and parroted by Nicki Haley I wondered if this wasn’t more apropos:
I’ll let you guys decide. And if anyone has any insights on why the Rethugs are so determined to cling to and defend a proposal that has about a snowflake’s chance in hell of passing AND antagonizes their constituents at the same time, feel free to share those here too. I’m just gaping at them with wonder.
While the radical nutjobs that pass for mainstream Republicans these days are still arguing that we have to kill Medicare in order to save it, the denizens of The American Spittoon have bigger fish to fry. Yes, America, the godless commies of ACORN have risen again just in time to steal yet another election for our evil black (did we mention he’s black?) overlord, Obamra!
Arguably the agenda could be as much about selling the author’s new book as warning us of the evil organization’s dangers as he manages to plug the book twice and gets in a video for best effect. But don’t be distracted by these things! It’s important to remember that ACORN is spreading “the gospel of Marxist social justice around the world”, manufacturing housing bubbles (STILL) (!!11!1) AND churning out manufactured votes like a Monopoly money still! All while setting up pedophily type brothels with their other hand. Truth, justice and the American way are taking a huge hit again. What, oh, what can we do to stop them?
Maybe mixing copious amounts of sun-block and mosquito repellant causes a brain cell-destroying chemical reaction. This could explain why Floridians voted in the most stupid and corrupt state government in decades. How dumb is the current batch of troglodytes in Tallahassee? This dumb:
Florida Gov. Rick Scott is expected to sign a bill that will make the state the first in the nation to prohibit doctors from asking patients if they own guns. The bill is aimed particularly at pediatricians, who routinely ask new parents if they have guns at home and if they’re stored safely.
This harmless-looking cat lady, Marion Hammer, led the charge, supporting a bill that originally proposed jail time and millions in fines for doctors who tell parents it’s a good idea to lock up their guns:
Hammer’s cats, lacking thumbs and trigger fingers, are unlikely to accidentally shoot her or each other. But thanks to Hammer’s efforts, doctors who provide safety tips to heavily armed new parents will now be guilty of a non-criminal offense and subject to a $500 fine.
So how did it come to this? Well, the NRA has deep pockets, which allows them to directly pay off politicians to advance their pro-gun hysteria via legislation.
Maybe swimming pool makers will get in on the act next and pony up the funds necessary to forbid doctors from mentioning that it’s a good idea to put a lock between toddlers and a pool.
Because that is just the world the Kochs and their Tea Party cohorts want to return us to. From wars on unions to the destruction of Medicare and Medicaid, massive tax cuts for corporations and the wealthy combined with tax increases on middle and lower income Americans, dismantling of social security and now the latest. Getting rid ofchild labor laws!
Getcher roasted chestnuts right here! Sorry, the roast goose is for the deserving class.
Following their Supreme Court victory in the Citizens United case, which allows corporate interests to dominate political discourse, the GOP has turned its attention to neutralizing the last remaining speed bumps on their roadmap to 100% corporate dominion over US politics: working stiffs and those pesky voters, especially young folks, the poor, women and minorities.
The GOP’s post-2010 election union-busting spree has been covered widely (though the obvious motivation behind it is too seldom identified). The party is fully prepared to let their state-level apparatchiks go down in the fight to further the cause. As we’ve discussed in this space, Wisconsin’s Walker and Florida’s Scott are single-serving wingnut governors by design. No doubt they will profit handsomely once they’re turned out of office. It’s a feature, not a bug.
If the GOP can get unions—the only counterbalance to corporate money in US politics—out of the way, the last speed bump is the US voter. But we pride ourselves on being a very exceptional democracy, so voter disenfranchisement has to be handled delicately as we make the transition to Banana Republicanism.
It’s hard to find examples of GOP overreach more disastrous than those occurring at the state level in Wisconsin and Florida, where the newly elected Tea Party-backed governors are somewhat less popular than syphilis and chlamydia, respectively. So what better places to begin Campaign 2012—The Restoration?
Former half-term Governor Quittin’ Bull excoriated the sitting GOP US House majority for getting rolled by Obama, exhorting them to “fight like a girl” and praising (politically) Dead Governor Walk(er)ing’s union-busting, Koch-sucking approach to politics.
Donald Trump addressed a disappointingly small Tea Party crowd in Boca Raton, waxing expansive on his favorite topic: Donald Trump and his unparalleled awesomeness. He also advised the GOP to embrace birtherism because “I’ll tell you, people love this issue, especially in the Republican Party.”
Good Christ, Kentucky, how could you? Don’t we have enough problems in this giant clusterfuck of a country without having to listen to this pompous shit drone on about the alleged profundity of an insipid master race bodice-ripper in the US Congress?
Gyad, I didn’t think Kentucky could come up with someone exponentially more annoying than that crotchety old fart they were replacing, Jim Bunning. But by god, they’ve outdone themselves by electing this monumental asshole. Well done, Blue Grass State! (Fuckers!*)
*Kentuckians who voted against Paul are excluded from this epithet.
