Santorum spoke Alice Stewart seeks to “explain” Ricky’s references to President Obama’s religion the other day. It doesn’t go well.
An honest misspeak? Direct line from unconscious to mouth? Undigested talking point burp? We report, you decide, but in view of Ricky’s dogfoghorn-blowing, you have to wonder.
Thank you Friedmanio! But our insight is up another asshole!
New York Times columnist and scourge of anthropomorphic mushrooms Thomas Friedman finally drops the BS about “extremists on both sides” and admits that “centrism” means nothing but the median of whichever two points are being discussed at any given moment (since there’s confusion, a quick primer: “median” is the equidistant point, “mean” is the inevitable tone of any piece that considers Friedman’s prescriptions, and “average” is the level of intelligence you must evince for Charlie Rose to consider you an intellectual giant). Furthermore, he’s convinced the time is ripe for a third party challenger, never mind that we’re having a hell of a time coming up with a second party challenger.
If that candidate is Rick Santorum, I think there is a good chance a Third Party will try to fill the space between the really “severely conservative” Santorum (or even Mitt Romney) and the left-of-center Barack Obama.
Setting aside the notion that random capitalization lends authority to common nouns and their modifiers, Friedman’s found his man: David Walker, former comptroller general (I am assured this position affords some measure of prestige despite its surfeit of lowercase letters), who you will be shocked to learn is a white man in his early 60s who favors sensible suits and says “deficit” a lot. Tom, any details you’d care to toss out, maybe something incredibly telling to anyone who’s spent some time on the internet in the past few years, something that will expose your reasoning as puerile, your solution ill-conceived?
Walker — who came in second to Hillary Clinton in a reader poll that Politico conducted last October for favorite Third Party candidate
Ah yes, a poll of the kind of people who would take a Politico reader poll, i.e. 4chan board regulars without the civic literacy.
Disclosure: I’m actually a fan of Friedman’s book The Lexus and the Olive Tree. It’s a harrowing memoir of his long road to recovery from an accident in which his Pakistani driver was so caught up in formulating a pithy quote that he lost control of the car and careened into a grove, whereupon Friedman was impaled through the head by a low-hanging branch.
There’s been a good deal of attention paid to traumatic brain injury around these parts lately, and I don’t mean to diminish TBI’s effects on its victims and their loved ones, but just because someone bravely fights their way back from the edge of death, that’s not necessarily a reason to give them primo real estate on the country’s most influential op-ed page. Heck, Tom, we’re just impressed that you can type.
dumb dumb dumb, dumb dumb DUMB
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 02/19/12 at 04:02 PM
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Rick Santorum is easily the most likable candidate remaining in the contest for the Republican presidential nomination.
Just dwell on that opinion for a moment.
Leaving aside the ecumenical matter of damning with faint praise, “likability” is obviously in the eye of the beholder. But even James Joyner, who dreamed that sentence up, typed it out, didn’t go “Nah” and hit delete, then decided to broadcast it to the world via Outside the Beltway, feels driven to qualify that “likability” in the face of a speech the New Not-Romney gave in 2008 at Domino Pizza’s “saint factory,” Ave Maria University (“Excellent. Affordable. Catholic.”) in Florida (mercifully audio only).
To summarize the Tanktop Torquemada’s address, unearthed by Right Wing Watch: You’re all—those of you “smart people” who’ve been exposed to academe, you Protestants, heck the whole damned lot of you—Hellbound Godless heathens in thrall to the “Father of Lies,” except Ricky and his ilk in the Catholic Church. And he’s not so sure about his ilk. (Transcript after the fold for the recently breakfasted.)
Let’s be fair. Maybe Ricky’s evolved a little from these extreme views? Ah. Here’s Ed Morrissey, twisting himself into semantic knots to blame President Obama for injecting theology into the public debate:
Normally, I would advise presidential candidates to avoid getting caught in arguments over the relative merits of the faith of their opponents. Americans typically don’t respond well to politicians claiming that they have a superior theology, especially when it comes to translating that into public policy. In this case, though, Rick Santorum didn’t start that fight yesterday in Ohio:
Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum challenged President Barack Obama’s Christian beliefs on Saturday, saying White House policies were motivated by a “different theology.”
A devout Roman Catholic who has risen to the top of Republican polls in recent days, Santorum said the Obama administration had failed to prevent gas prices rising and was using “political science” in the debate about climate change.
Obama’s agenda is “not about you. It’s not about your quality of life. It’s not about your jobs. It’s about some phony ideal. Some phony theology. Oh, not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology,” Santorum told supporters of the conservative Tea Party movement at a Columbus hotel.
Well, Satanism’s a theology, I guess. You wouldn’t want an atheist in the White House, would you?
This really might be the dumbest, most ill-conceived and poorly written Daily Caller opinion piece ever, which, lordamercy, is saying something:
Why, to serve as civilizing hose-bags and poop out babies, of course! Well, at the very least, the column puts paid to any notion that the GOP’s “woman problem” will end when dinosaurs like Foster Friess finally lumber into the tar pit.
Daily Kos is lit up at the moment by a little scheme Markos and Chris Bowers have cooked up, titled Operation Hilarity. Markos proclaimed the initiative on Wednesday:
It’s time for us to take an active role in the GOP nomination process. That’s right, it’s time for those of us who live in open primary and caucus states—Michigan, North Dakota, Vermont and Tennessee in the next three weeks—to head out and cast a vote for Rick Santorum.
...
If you live in one of those states, pledge to participate in Operation Hilarity by voting or caucusing for Rick Santorum. Click here for Michigan, here for North Dakota, here for Tennessee and here for Vermont.
If you live anywhere else, please contribute $5 to our Facebook ad effort to turn Democrats out in those elections. You can see a sample ad at the top right of this post.
Hilarity wasn’t much in evidence in the swift backlash from many Kosites who thought this was a really dumb and quite possibly counterproductive idea, which prompted Chris Bowers to try to re-sell the joke a couple of hours later:
This didn’t go down any better among the courted conspirators, and as of last night there were numerous diaries on the Kos rec list denouncing or criticizing the plan for a variety of reasons.
I’m doing you a favor as I’m giving my endorsement
Kids who grew up on my music looking for three other horsemen
Your polls are creeping up and you feel a sudden surge No, I am not Satan’s servant, that’s the guys in Demiurge
You’re thinking of… guys in Demiurge
Backin’ Rick Santorum, I’ll be ticking off my fans
He’s the perfect frothy mixture of morals and tax plans
My drinking’s in the past now so my head’s clear as a bell
Two thousand twelve election, go Rick go, give ‘em hell
Never was a fan of Mitt, his money gives me pause
Newt’s unpleasant persona is a hindrance to the cause
Paul seems okay at first glance but he comes from outer space
So I spun around three times and threw a dart that hit your face
I threw a dart… and it hit your face
Backin’ Rick Santorum, I’ll be ticking off my fans
He’s the perfect frothy mixture of Taliban and Stan
I’ll be the baddest motherfucking Lincoln Bedroom guest
Two thousand twelve election, I’m with the sweater-vest
Backin’ Rick Santorum, I’ll be ticking off my fans
He’s the perfect frothy mixture of Wallace and hu-man
Rick sells and I am buying, Santorumentum is a go
For the twenty twelve election ‘cause Jesus tells me so
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 02/15/12 at 09:32 PM
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Please excuse Scott from the prolonged distress of being in close proximity to the Soshulist President of the United States of Union Thuggery during the tour of the revitalized Master Lock factory, during which he would be within hailing, or worse, distance of over 400 unionized workers in a factory cited by the President as returning to operating at full capacity. Edited to add: And also please excuse him from meeting his second deadline to challenge all those recall petitions. What with not having gone through even a quarter of the million signatures the Dems provided, he’s a touch run down.
Scott is feeling a bit fluish. UPDATE: He will rouse himself has roused himself from his sickbed long enough to greet the President on the tarmac, though, in typically gracious Republican fashion~~with a gift of goodwill.
The GOP power acquisition and propaganda machine is a fearsome opponent. It owns a worldwide media empire. It has enjoyed remarkable electoral success by pumping out race-baiting bilge and generating pseudo-science and artfully worded lies to convince low-info voters to vote against their own interests and preserve and expand already lavish advantages for plutocrats.
It’s underwritten by fat cats who are capable of pooping out billion-dollar bales of cash to support the cause without experiencing the tiniest impact on their unimaginably privileged, Sun King-like lifestyles. So it’s tempting to view that operation as infallible and to imagine that its strategy is crafted by evil geniuses against whom it may be impossible to prevail. And then you see something like this:
Hahaha! The Koch brothers flew the blogger formerly known as “Hindrocket” in to their confab to provide intellectual fodder! The blogger perhaps most famous for his tremulous reverence for the unappreciated genius of George W. Bush!
It must be very strange to be President Bush. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.
It’s like riding out onto the plain of Minas Tirith to face the Nazgûl and confronting a cranky, mange-ridden ferret instead. They got nothing. Well, they got the aforementioned bales of cash and global media empire. But aside from that, they got nothing.
This is Daisy, who is, as you can see, blessed with great physical beauty. She’s even got matching beauty moles. She is somewhat vain in consequence. I tell both my dogs that they’re smart girls, good girls, beautiful girls. But with Daisy, it is definitely the latter that resonates. She takes in the sun like a glamorous 50s-era movie star in San Tropez, even though she is only a dog in Florida.
The sun is one thing we’ve still got going for us in Florida. Otherwise, things are pretty shitty. We’ve got double-digit unemployment. Nearly half of our houses are underwater in the mortgage sense and will be among the first literally underwater if nothing is done about climate change. And nothing will be done because Republicans and Fox News have successfully demagogued that issue to their mouth-breathing audience, some of whom will eventually require snorkels to continue their mouth-breathing.
Grifterzilla celebrated her birthday by reprising the greatest hits from her limited repertoire to ring down the curtain on CPAC 2012.
CNN/Big Journalism’s Dana “Drop Trou” Loesch is trying desperately to get her minions to cover ass over her and her husband’s antics over the past couple of days
And dazed conference-goers felt the cold chill of the evening air as they emerged from their three-day refuge from reality, having voted in the Washington Times/CPAC straw poll for their preferred presidential candidate—Surprise! Mitt Romney—to be greeted by the results of today’s caucuses.
In the absence of that sweet meteor of death, Romney’s been awarded the win of the unbelievably arcane Maine caucuses with 39% of the vote versus Paul’s 36%, with 17% of the state’s precincts that will caucus later in the month being told that they can vote for whoever they want, it just won’t be counted. Not that the results are binding anyway. I think it would be easier to explain the laws of cricket to an American than make sense of that hot mess.
I’d call that a wrap, though there are plenty of details that we haven’t touched on here—no shortage of ink both real and virtual having been spilt elsewhere, not least by those on our estimable blogroll—and no doubt much more pleasurable and edifying things going on in the world that are more worthy of attention.
If you want to talk about them, here’s a chance, otherwise, enjoy your Saturday night and thank the FSM that you’re not a Republican. Unless you are, in which case tough luck, and how’s that hopey changey thing working out for ya?
Andrew Breitbart was in fine form during his speech at CPAC today. “I’m looking for you, you Occupy freaks with your glitterbombs. BRING IT ON!” he lisped melodramatically early in his address, which preceded this passage below, where he claims to have videos of Obama from his college years *clutchpearls* which he is going to use “to show you why racial division and class warfare are central to what hope and change was sold in 2008.”
He claims they will lay out “a narrative” involving those old RW faves Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn, at whose table Breitbart and Tucker Carlson lushly dined just a few days ago. (No, there’s nothing wrong with your computer, the vid is rotated 90 degrees and whoever posted it hasn’t reorientated it.) I found a better copy via Mediaite. His spiel about the “videos” starts around 5:15.
But that’s not the screwiest Breitbart behavior of the day. This evening, having failed to locate any of the promised Occupy interlopers in the CPAC venue itself, he ventured outside to confront OWS demonstrators. “BEHAVE YOURSELF!” he roared over and over. “YOU ARE FREAKS AND ANIMALS!” “STOP RAPING PEOPLE!” “YOU FILTHY, FILTHY FREEEEAKS!” before a bunch of guys in suits bundled him off to a quiet place, or maybe an emergency appointment with a shrink.
Is this Breitbartocalypse? I’d expected it to last a little longer. I’m probably not the first person Breitbart’s disappointed in that respect.
As promised, here’s another dip into the fringe cultural life on display at CPAC, in the form of whateverthehellthisis.
Sometime Fox News contributer Steve Crowder and Mr. Dana Loesch cavort and yowl for the delectation of a determinedly seated crowd at the Red Carpet Blogger Awards as they perform their new beat platter “Mr. America.”
Stephen Webster at The Raw Story watched the whole thing, and so is able to report that at one point, after a particularly lame bit of business centered on sham prudery over the word “knickers,” “the video shows what appears to be the only black person in the room standing up and walking away,” proving he’s the only one there with a sense of dignity, humor, and/or self-preservation, and provides us with a partial transcript:
With all this money afly you gon’ be needin’ a big freeze
I hate the size of the fed like Jesus hated the fig tree
As spending goes up, you gotta borrow some more
Borrowin’ from the chinese, Oh My lord.
Instead you just tax more, increasin’ the size
Of the federal government yeah to George’s surprise
You’ll be done like Detroit man, no You ain’t comin’ back
Forget it, I’m out, I’m muzzle loading my gat
I was a little at a loss which tags to pick for this one. Skull Hampers barely does it justice, and my soul rebeled at applying any of the music tags. Can we have a Nuke It From Space tag please, Admin?
If you’ve ever wondered how they put together these videos, here’s how (go easy clicking the links embedded in the text over at that site—possible malware warning, though just reading the text is fine).
The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops is upping the tantrum level over the requirement to include birth control coverage in health insurance plans for Catholic hospitals and other institutions to truly epic proportions. And, like any toddler lying on its back and screaming, they are now changing the rules of engagement. They don’t want the requirement removed just for organizations run by religious institutions - they don’t want any employers to be required to cover contraceptive services in their plans.
Sez his royal poobah, General Counsel Anthony Picarello “If I quit this job and opened a Taco Bell, I’d be covered by the mandate”. Um. Yes. You would. You would indeed. Because you, as an employer of people who may not share your particular religious superstitions, would not be allowed to dictate their health care choices to them. Because, well, why should you be, anyway? Perhaps unknown to you, the times of feudal control over one’s serfs appear to be behind us now.
Even more annoying than the irksome background noise level of heel thumping and high pitched wailing is the insistence by certain pundits that Obama owes it to Catholics to allow them to force their restrictive beliefs regarding accessibility to fundamental health care on the backs of their relatively powerless employees. (See: This Person and Dionne, E.J.) After all Catholics helped Obama to get health care reform passed in the first place and here he is underbussening them! No doubt as they always knew he would. Because, of course, health care reform had no other redeeming features that could conceivably make their lives better and make it worthwhile to get it passed.
No, in fact, the whole point of the thing was, apparently, to provide a path to allow Obama to begin routinely decapitating the faithful. OK, OK, that’s Santorum speaking and we all know he’s a fruitcake’s fruitcake when it comes to issues of icky contraception and, you know, sex between married couples, but still!
Obama has apparently said he’s not backing down on this one and I sincerely hope the recent shitstorm over the Komen Foundation’s ill considered decision to decide they were cutting funding from Planned Parenthood will reinforce this idea on his part and the part of his administration. (We were the winners!! It feels good to be the winner!!)
In the meantime I very much hope this silly saber rattling will die down fairly soon. But with the economy improving, Obama’s poll results rising, Osama bin Laden still dead and a clown posse of presidential candidates still roaming the lands, the Rethugs haven’t got much else right now. Boo hoo.
Nancy Smash! shows her gentler side as she twists the knife and entreats Americans to stop her “out of control” ex-friend Steven Colbert’s nefarious use of “secret money from special interests” to attack “my friend Newt Gingrich.”
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