If they’re familiar with Joseph Heller, future historians may one day summarize the 2012 GOP presidential field’s terrible dilemma thusly:
There was only one catch and that was Catch-12, which specified that a tendency to rationally analyze the country’s many real and immediate dangers and propose realistic solutions was the process of a rational mind and thus disqualified the candidate in the eyes of the crazy base but made him or her viable among the general electorate. Cain, Perry, Bachmann, Paul, Gingrich and Santorum were crazy and were thus qualified in the eyes of the base but disqualified by the country at large. They had to be crazy to succeed in the primary race and sane to be taken seriously in the general. If they ran successfully in the primary, they were crazy and weren’t qualified for the general; but if they acknowledged they were babbling nonsense to the base, they were sane and thus disqualified to win the primary. The American people were moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-12 and let out a respectful whistle.
Romney is the only frontrunner who fully grasps this dilemma. His solution is to try to keep one foot in Camp Crazy and the other in Camp Coherent, which is why he cannot crack 25% support even after running for president continuously for five fucking years. It’s a hell of a catch, that Catch-12.
Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild, poster-snob for the cognac-swirling, naval-gazing, canapé-grazing, manor-dwelling, Trans-Atlantic swells, has an Opinion on Something. I was going to excerpt it. But I just don’t have the heart at Wine Thirty. Here’s a shorter instead:
Tea Party and OWS movements should exchange saliva. Capitalism, good! Obama, bad! Clinton restoration!
In case you missed the GOP debate last night, here’s the Rick Perry implosion:
In a flagrant violation of one of the immutable laws of the universe—the one that decrees that there shall be no coherent, funny or sane comments posted on YouTube, ever—commenter bsphenom gets it about right:
This is the inevitable conclusion of the anti-intellectual and anti-government mentality of the modern Republican Party. We are literally down to complete morons who want to cut things they can’t even name, let alone understand. It’s a modern day version of angry cavemen who want to burn everything down. They have the cultural sophistication of ancient Mongol hordes.
Yep. Perry manages to make one nostalgic for the verbal acuity and intellectual rigor of Sarah H. Palin, who in her turn “made George W. Bush sound like Cicero,” as Republican god-botherer Rod Dreher was once honest enough to note. What happened to slow declines? When empires and great institutions crumble, isn’t it supposed to take awhile?
Anyhoo, I expected to find the GOP debate depressing, and it certainly was disheartening to realize that one of the ignorant buffoons, pandering nitwits or crackpots on that stage will be seriously considered for the leadership of a nuclear-armed superpower. But on the other hand, it’s heartening to imagine any of those silly bastards taking on President Obama in a general election debate.
So, can we get an over and under on how fast Cain’s sexual harassment transgressions get brought up? Further discussion: Will everyone pile on or will those for whom the shoe might also fit stay out of the fray *cough* Newt *cough*?
In case anyone didn’t pay much attention last Saturday night (like me) tthere was a debate between Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain which was billed as a Lincoln-Douglas type affair (no comment). The topics of the debate were Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid and how fast can we get rid of them all (OK, I made up the last part but still . . .)
The Newster’s curious comparison of the health care industry to buying a burger at McD’s has already been reported on here.
It appears that one other comment by Newt stuck out a little on the crazy factor scale. He doesn’t like the way the non-partisan CBO scored the health care reform act so he wants to just get rid of the CBO! True. Here is an actual quote:
“If you are serious about real health reform, you must abolish the Congressional Budget Office because it lies,” Gingrich said at a Saturday debate with embattled pizza entrepreneur Herman Cain. “Every hospital will tell you that if you get the family and patient involved, it is better and less expensive. The Congressional Budget Office refuses to see this as a savings. It wants more bureaucracy and less patient involvement.”
Disregarding the fact that most of this comment does not even make sense (every hospital will tell you that?) where the heck is he even going with the idea that if you don’t like what the score keeper says you just off the score keeper?
Cain/Gingrich 2012. Doubly Not Ready for Prime Time.
I know y’all will find this shocking, but deadbeat-dad IL (R) Congressman Joe Walsh is a total dick:
Shorter Walsh for those who won’t leave the boat: “The financial crisis happened because the government encouraged home ownership, so leave the banks aloooooonnnnneee! Because shut up, that’s why!”
Gyad, what a braying jackass. God knows the competition for Most Clueless Asshole in US Politics is mighty fierce, but Walsh certainly makes a strong case for his candidacy by shrieking at and threatening to remove perfectly civil constituents at his sparsely attended event. I hope his district has the good sense to toss him out on his ass at the very next opportunity.
In a political blow to GOP Gov. John Kasich, voters handily rejected the law, which would have limited the bargaining abilities of 350,000 unionized public workers. With more than a quarter of the votes counted late Tuesday, 63 percent of votes were to reject the law.
Kasich congratulated his opponents and said he would spend time contemplating how best to take the state forward.
“I’ve heard their voices, I understand their decision and, frankly, I respect what people have to say in an effort like this,” he said. “And as a result of that, it requires me to take a deep breath, you know, and to spend some time reflecting on what happened here^before I go back to sucking Koch.”
Finally, the people of Mississippi indicated they’re tired of all the ignorant hick jokes by saying No thanks, to a proposed 1 sperm + 1 egg = 1 Human Being law. Ya’ll need to select another sub-Mason/Dixon line state at which to cast your Dumb Sutherner scorn for a while.
In conclusion, the U.S.A. continues to suck a bit less than we are regularly tempted to believe.
“When I made the statement that I’m done talking about this, I’m talking about the firestorm last week,” Mr. Cain told Jimmy Kimmel on his late-night comedy show on ABC. “But no, we are gonna talk about this one and I am gonna talk about it at a press conference.”
And Mr. Cain said on the show that he now plans to address any future accusations that emerge.
“I will talk about any and all future firestorms, because here’s one thing people don’t know about Herman Cain: I’m in it to win it.” he said.
I love it when public figures refer to themselves in the third person. Will post updates of the conference in progress if feasible. In the meantime, please consider this an open thread.
An MSNBC reporter follows up on yesterday’s news, looking in on several tea partiers they profiled last year to witness the political evolution of the members of this totally spontaneous, diverse, non-Astroturfed group of heartland patriots. Surprisingly, they’re all still older, white Republicans!
Another startling development: They still don’t like President Obama. And they’re not too keen on those smelly Occupy hippies stealing their limelight either. I’m so glad MSNBC saw fit to run this item above the fold. You just can’t find that kind of hard-hitting feature anywhere else.
PS: Erick Son of Erick says that Mitt Romney will be the nominee, which means “conservatism dies and Barack Obama wins.” From your lips to God’s ears, Son of Erick!
McAsshole presents his McHealthcare McPlan [via Charles Pierce h/t BJ]:
Onstage Saturday, [Newt] Gingrich seized the opportunity to show off his mastery of policy matters. He spoke with ease about the intricacies of health policy, saying the nation’s health system should be less bureaucratic and more consumer-friendly.
“Think about going to McDonald’s,” Gingrich said.
Yep. That’s a direct quote from this McFucker. No one will blame you if you stop reading right now, watch this very odd little video and go about your business.
Another shoe drops. Luckily for Cain, the GOP has decided that sexual harassment is just a kooky theory, much like evolution and climate change.
UPDATED AND BUMPED: Just saw the conference. Wow. If what the accuser says is true—and she and Allred passed out sworn statements from corroborating witnesses—Cain is guilty of gross sexual harassment, not just an off-color joke. The woman alleges that Cain groped her, and when she objected, he said something to the effect of, “You want a job, don’t you?”
Sheesh. Will post vid when it’s available. One possible lucky break for Cain: a verdict was reached in the trial of Jacko’s quack doctor…
UPDATED X 2: A snippet of video:
Also too, the victim, Sharon Bialek, is a registered Republican and a tea party supporter. Of course, her political affiliation won’t stop Cain’s wingnut defenders from calling her a liberal slut. I hope her granite counters are tidy.
At least, that’s what I thought when I read the above headline at the Raw Story. “Oh no!” I thought: If Wrongy McWrongerson has conceded the race to Obama, surely the Republican nominee—even if it’s someone as dumb as Rick Perry, as crazy as Michele Bachmann, as kooky as Ron Paul, as discredited as Newt Gingrich, as priggish as Rick Santorum, as lecherous as Herman Cain, etc.—will emerge victorious in the general election.
But the Raw Story headline is misleading: If you read the Kristol piece, he doesn’t concede the race at all. Rather, he metaphorically exhumes and humps the corpse of national debt-tripler and serial tax-raiser Ronald Reagan and laments that we shall not see the Gipper’s bonny like again. Then he speculates that a lesser GOP mortal might employ the lessons of Bill Clinton or FDR to achieve a less-than-Reaganesque victory. Ho hum.
Three news items converged late this week to shed some light on what’s up with the struggle for America’s soul. First, a tea party goon hopped up on birtherism and Matriarch of Mayhem videos interrupted Elizabeth Warren at a volunteer meeting to call the candidate a “socialist whore” with a “foreign-born” boss:
Notice how he encounters a locked door when he tries to make a grand exit after hurling insults at a candidate who treated him graciously. Classy guy. Smart too!
FR founder Jim Robinson has declared Romney an “enemy of the Constitution.” This likely means that Mitt will win the nomination, given JimRob’s predilection for slamming the door on electable moderates in favor of Founder-hugging hacks who tank the moment they announce.
He thinks he’s running against John Kennedy, not Barack Obama.
Think about it. He believes most black voters are fairly simple minded folk who have been “brain washed” into supporting Obama but under his tutorship will see the light of the Republican way.
He’s come up with a highly simplistic tax *plan* that should easily replace our fairly uncomplicated tax system. (I mean back in the day our whole code was contained in one thin volume, not the three fat ones that it takes today!)
And Hermie dismisses allegations of sexual harassment as being simple misunderstandings by the little ladies in question (why some of them were no taller than his wife!)
Best of all, now we learn that he’s very, very concerned that China is trying to develop nuclear capability! Which would be terrible - they could be testing bombs any time now!!! Oh, except that, wait. They already did that. Back in 1964.
Which is where I wish we could send you Hermie. Because you are definitely not ready for the prime time of 2012.