Friends of Humus

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Not the Least, and Not the Last

Yesterday marked some new changes in the battle of LGBT equality, with AZ Gov.Jan Brewer vetoing Senate bill 1062, finding that there was no evidence that people of faith were being unduly burdened and that allowing this bill to become law would have unintended consequences, and with a federal judge ruling the Texas gay marriage ban unconstitutional.

It’s not unalloyed good news, because although I am optimistic (just see my last blog entry) I was not found in a cabbage patch nor was I raised on sunshine and good vibes. The response of some social conservatives definitely reminds me that nothing is over—if anything, the desire of a handful of retrograde culture warriors to wrap themselves in the mantle of faith and claim special privilege as a marginalized group seems to have grown. It’s what you might call a smaller, but more motivated group. Look at it this way, if it’s right that the SCOTUS Windsor ruling has literally made all further argument on gay marriage moot, what the hell is Brian Brown gonna do now? Get a real job? Even Fox News might stop inviting Tony Perkins on, and everyone knows Bryan Fischer is worried that if folks are freely getting gay-married…well, he’s on his own thing and I think he’s more scared of turning into a vulva than turning gay, but my point is, that rear-guard money is catch as catch can and they gotta hustle now. So they will hustle.

The thing with prejudice is, the people with it like to feel justified. Of course they are fine upstanding better people. They wouldn’t even have the prejudices they do if they weren’t! This “religious freedom” gambit seemed like a nice way to co-opt the language of the persecuted to sound like maybe they were the ones all victimized and wronged by liberal fascism. Which is the very worst kind of fascism because of the PBS programming and organic produce, not to mention the whole meaningful chats about “tone”. But the problem is political correctness, don’t you know.

Conservatism won at least one argument with me. I hate political correctness. I will call these professional victims and family values pimps what they are. And for what it’s worth, if they want to talk about respecting religion, I have some reservations about your garden-variety haters deciding it’s totally okay to rip out pages of Leviticus and use them as a fig leaf to cover up their rage-boners over any class of people…being treated totally the same as anyone else.

But here is something to ponder that I don’t think conservatives are taking into account:

This kissing of theocratic ass is costing them—let’s talk about CPAC.

I love CPAC. I pretend I’m appalled because I’m a proper liberal with all the right credentials but as theater? I was a choir geek in high school—I love theater! And who doesn’t like to watch a hot mess of theater sometimes? But anyway, CPAC has engendered drama because they could never let GOProud in the fold. They were out, and never in. The sucking up around the edges to try and pacify the theocrat powers that be apparently cheesed Chris Barron off enough to quit them, hard enough. Is he not a conservative and a brother?

Nope. Moving on, CPAC isn’t having any with atheists either.  Wow. If “none of the above” is a big religious choice of the millennial generation, aren’t they making a big mistake right here? Especially given that 1/3 of millennials left religion specifically over how gay people are treated by their faith?


This wedge issue that used to be good for the GOP circa 2004, is not a great issue about now.  But if they think they look spiffy in albatross, who am I to try and stop them? You go, GOP-ers! Wrap yourself in the flag and the Bible and take all of your guns at once and….

I dunno. Write a very serious letter to editor of the Washington Times. If they have one. I guess.

(X-Posted at Strangely Blogged)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 02/27/14 at 11:51 PM
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Sunday, February 16, 2014

Send in the Clowns: Breitbart Plans World Domination

Ambling around the Web this evening, I stumbled upon this headline:

Delingpole quits Telegraph ahead of UK launch of Breitbart.com

Two things immediately jumped out at me.

Delingpole—who, if you’ve never had the pleasure, is one James “I’m right about everything” Delingpole, in his own words “a member of probably the most discriminated-against subsection in the whole of British society—the white, middle-aged, public-school-and-Oxbridge educated middle-class male” who a few years ago earned this very blog’s coveted accolade of Dickhead of the Day, along with the timeless lede “Cretinous British twit,” which is far from the unkindest thing that’s ever been said about him (and I’d like a few props for resisting the obvious Photoshop here ... gnnnn).

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Why, he’s even described himself as “James Delingpole — the man so barking even Ukip [the UK Independence Party] wouldn’t have him.”

How to sum up Sucky Jim otherwise? Google is, as ever, your helpful friend:

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He’s a self-described rightwing libertarian, an ideologue who in 2010 called for a British Tea Party movement, kind of missing the point of the original Tea Party.

He also fancies himself a satirist, a poor man’s Jeremy Clarkson if you will, failing to see why some might take exception to a passage like this:

... Barack Seamus O’Toole Flaherty Joyce O’Bama is the most Irish US president that ever set foot on the Emerald Oisle, so he is, so he is.

Except, when he’s in Africa, of course, when he disappears into the dry ice and re-emerges with a grass skirt and a bone through his nose and declares himself to be Mandingo, Prince of the Bloodline of the Bonga People, Drinker of Cattle Urine, Father of A Thousand Warrior Sons, Keeper of King Solomon’s Mines, Barehanded Slayer of Lions, Undaunted Victim of the Evil Colonial British Empire.

You could also with some justification call him a minor toff (daddy owned a factory, so he’d never make the major leagues short of marrying a Royal filly, which he hasn’t so far), the minorness no doubt being the impetus for his incessant clamor for attention and Pooteresque trumpeting of his mediocrity.

A polemical left-baiting anthropomorphic climate change denier, his Daily Telegraph blurb reads:

James Delingpole is a writer, journalist and broadcaster who is right about everything. He is the author of numerous fantastically entertaining books, including his most recent work Watermelons: How the Environmentalists are Killing the Planet, Destroying the Economy and Stealing Your Children’s Future, also available in the US, and in Australia as Killing the Earth to Save It. His website is www.jamesdelingpole.com.

His acumen can be gauged if you click on that link to “his” eponymous website.*

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Posted by YAFB on 02/16/14 at 11:42 PM
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Sunday, November 10, 2013

So Let Me Get This Straight, 60 Minutes…

The respected tv news show runs a story about Benghazi, which Lara Logan says she worked on for a year, which basically melted like a snowball in a saucepan in something like 48 hours, and the correction and apology takes up just a couple minutes at the end of the show, and that is that?

Okay. We have a story that seems to have consisted of one flawed source with no corroborating eyewitness, whose book has been recalled and will be pulped, I guess. And there must be some indignity, no doubt, in 60 Minutes now being fact-checked by WND. They point out that Dylan Davies, who went by a pseudonym “for his protection” in the piece and as a nom de plume, was mentioned as having left town in a Telegraph story a year ago. This is really rather embarrassing for them, you’d think?

Or maybe they’d simply prefer not to dwell on how they got this one wrong. I do not know that it’s true, as fired former 60 Minutes exec Mary Mapes speculates, that they did this story specifically to appeal to a right wing audience, but I agree with the lesson that this is “instructive”, in the sense that just because there are people pointing to something, doesn’t mean that something is really there. I also don’t know whether a former Fox News honcho now with CBS had much to do with green-lighting the piece, except to agree that it is fascinating how stories can seem to serve certain biases, hm?

The mea culpa here seems a bit insufficient in this case particularly, though, in that the ongoing appearance of a bigger story has been the basis for a certain senator holding up Obama administration nominees--not that the spoiling of this particular line of inquiry has any effect. But all the same—if the organization is interested in getting it right, and fails, maybe they should try caring about making it right?

(And as an aside, regarding Sen. Graham’s continued quest to appear relevant in the face of his primary challenges, would it be entirely possible for him to appear actively obstructive if not foolhardy if his stand continued to turn up nothing of note? After all, if the Administration’s position as of 9/12/12 was no different than what anyone else knew at the time, you’ve not really got evidence of a cover-up at all, so much as the Administration’s failure to be omniscient—a standard that most people would agree is mighty high to expect of mere humans. I dunno. Maybe Graham is a romantic at heart and has always been prone to the menacing of aerial turbines. But this is shall we say, a Quixotic act—not realpolitik.)

(X-posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 11/10/13 at 11:24 PM
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Monday, September 09, 2013

Gohmert, Bachmann and King Walk Like An Egyptian

In their never-ending quest for a heart, a brain and courage, America’s zaniest Congresspersons took their act on the road to school the Egyptian people in a little homespun 9/11 revisionist history.  Michelle “Ma Belle” Bachmann, Louie Gohmert and Steve King clicked their heels three times and woke up in Cairo where they met with Egyptian coup-leader General Abdel Fatah el-Sissi in whom they see a latent George Washington.

Rep. Gohmert explains:

We met with (sic) for a long meeting General el-Sissi and many of the military leaders, and my friend Steve King mentioned again about our heritage in America.  George Washington, doing what no one had ever done before him, led a military in revolution, won the revolution, and then resigned and went home.

And we met, in General el-Sissi, a man who is leader of the military, who might have a shot at being elected president, but is more concerned about giving his life to help his country, Egypt.

[First military-led revolution EVER? Seriously, Louie?  Oh, that’s right . . . Texas textbooks]

Meanwhile, Bachmann, referring to her own private 9/11 theory [that the Muslim Brotherhood, rather than Osama bin Laden, mounted the attack] explained to the General that we Americans have had our own problems with the Muslim Brotherhood, yessirree—and that she’ll personally make sure that the F-16s and Apache missiles keep coming to help el-Sissi fight the good fight [at least until her term is up and she retires to her gay conversion clinic].

These are your tax dollars at work, people . . . and also, too, the reason we’ll never, ever be able to have nice things again.

Posted by Bette Noir on 09/09/13 at 06:48 AM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersFriends of HumusTeabaggery

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Liz Cheney’s Own Private Wyoming

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Liz Cheney, 2012 poster child for Obama Derangement Syndrome, has poked her head up out of Jackson Hole to announce that, while unpacking her carpet bag, she discovered a vocation to represent the good people of her new home, Wyoming, in the US Senate.

It isn’t that La Liz thinks that three-term incumbent Republican senator Mike Enzi has done a particularly “bad” job, per se, it’s just that she knows that, as Liz Cheney, recipient of the Cheney Political Genome, she could do ever so much better in every way.  Plus, she’d be able to spend most of her time in her real-life home, Virginia.

Besides, Enzi should understand, she’s not really running against him, at least “in her own private Wyoming,” Cheney is running against Obama - a losing battle if ever there was one but, here’s the proof:

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Posted by Bette Noir on 07/17/13 at 01:12 PM
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Categories: CrittersPoliticsElection '14NuttersFriends of Humus

Saturday, June 01, 2013

Mr Norquist’s Excellent Jihad

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I have to admit that I didn’t see this coming but, thanks to Texan politico Cathie Adams, all of the frightening pieces are suddenly falling into place.  Speaking at a recent event hosted by the Far North Dallas Tea Party, Adams shared her concern that America is currently in thrall to secret Muslim infiltrators carrying out a stealth jihad.  Some of the high-profile jihadis that Ms Adams has exposed are: Grover Norquist, Karl Rove and possibly the current head of the CIA, John Brennan.

The evidence? Mr Norquist has a beard and is married to a Muslim woman.  Karl Rove is his BFF.  The investigation of Brennan is ongoing so Ms Adams couldn’t share much about him but one sinister thing that we do know is that Brennan speaks Arabic fluently.  But then he’s CIA so he would be too smart for facial hair or a Muslim wife.  And, of course, the Muslim-in-Chief needs no introduction—case closed.  That’s why we find ourselves, today, crawling with stealth jihadis and Ms Adams wants to know: “Where is the outcry!!?!”  The one American that Ms Adams is sure is not a stealth jihadi is Sen. Ted Cruz for whom she gave thanks to God, on this particular occasion. 

Now, you may remember that it was Cruz who warned us about the 70% - 80% infiltration of Communists in Congress, which would only leave about 20% left for stealth jihadis, but maybe he was confused.  Cruz was a newbie to the Senate, at that time, and perhaps he mistaked Communists for Muslims?  maybe they were the Baltic-Chechen-crossover-type Muslims easily mistaken for Communists? At any rate, I’m sure Cathie Adams will be briefing him on that.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 06/01/13 at 09:23 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrNuttersFriends of HumusTeabaggery

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Chechen Little

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As more information comes to light about the Beantown Bombers, it becomes increasingly clear that Uncle Ruslan was right all along: The brothers were / are a pair of not-too-bright losers. Mother Jones offers a list of odd and stupid things the Boom-Boom Bros did that directly resulted in their death and/or capture. These items include leaving their carjacked hostage alone in the vehicle while they went into a convenience store for Red Bull and then failing to toss their escaped victim’s mobile phone, enabling the cops to track their every move.

They’re murderers, sure, but sophisticated terror kingpins? Please. And yet the very lawmakers who most frequently have to pause to wring the accumulated ball-sweat out of their much-humped personal copies of the US Constitution are now ready to torch that document because of the supposed existential threat posed by clowns like the Boom-Boom Bros.

Senator Lindsey Graham, perpetually trying to butch up sufficiently to head off a possible tea party primary challenge, took to the Senate floor yesterday to baldly declare a thought-crime and ethnic-caste standard that would eliminate due process for certain American citizens:

“Here’s what we’re suggesting, that the surviving suspect—due to the ties that these two have to radical Islamic thought and the ties to Chechnya, one of most radical countries in the world—that the president declare preliminarily that the evidence suggests that this man should be treated as an enemy combatant.”

The “we” in that first clause includes Senator John McCain, the Hanoi Hilton survivor who is apparently transformed into a squealing candy ass at the sight of a teenage jihadi-wannabe’s wispy moustache. Senator Kelly Ayotte rounds out the new neocon triumvirate in lieu of the departed Joe Lieberman. She’s an improvement over her predecessor only in that her mouth isn’t bracketed by alarming skin-pleats and she doesn’t have a mewling voice that tempts listeners to drive chopsticks through their own eardrums to escape its range. But on foreign policy, she’s pretty much Joe in a dress.

In the interest of civility, let’s assume that these three and their fellow Republicans aren’t corrupt, cynical hucksters who are attempting to transform the blood of innocent people into political gain. So they must be cowards instead, sniveling, bed-wetting chicken-shits who are ready to toss our national experiment with free speech and equality before the law into the toilet and hide under the nearest rock—and not before the very real and powerful threats arrayed against it from within and without, but before a pair of moronic clowns like the Boom-Booms. Some “Daddy Party.”

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 04/24/13 at 11:55 AM
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Saturday, March 16, 2013

CPAC Day 2: Slurps, Slaps, and Slingbacks [Updated]

We’re not here to re-brand a party, we’re here to rebuild a country. We’re here to restore America and the rest is just theatrics. The rest is sound and fury. It’s just making noise.

The next 37 long minutes were indeed taken up with sound and fury—the familiar gurns, squawks, shrieks, and dribbling, punctuated by the novel sound of slurping, to rapturous applause. It’s 2013. It’s CPAC. And it’s Sarah Palin.

Yep, the Grifta from Wasilla, having added Fox News pundit (failed) to her résumé, is BACK. And she’s still totally bonkers. And not in a good way.

Lord knows, when the éminences grises behind CPAC booked her, they knew what to expect. It’s an easy call, because whatever else she’s been doing in her copious spare time since bombing out of the ‘08 election in tears, in between lush speaking gigs and boring the pants off Greta van Susteren she hasn’t come up with much new material.

I’m very grateful to Jim Newell, now liveblogging in the unlikely environment of The Guardian, for keeping tabs on the parade of fail at this year’s Gathering of the Indescribables as I really wasn’t feeling up to it. Also to my co-bloggers marindenver and Vixen Strangely, who’ve been taking up the slack. However, when somebody as absolutely desperate for attention as Sarah Palin bobbles along, it would be downright cruel of me not to indulge her at least a little, so here goes.

Her turn wasn’t totally lacking in some semblance of political gravitas, as she insisted that enough with the navel-gazing already, Republicans just need to hit the streets and get persuadin’:

They’re not our enemies. They’re our sisters and our brothers. They’re our neighbors, they’re our friends. It’s imperative to reach out and to share that conservative message of liberty and less government and lower taxes.

So double-bolt your doors and bar your windows before you turn in tonight, just in case.

Boob jokes. They featured, as Jim notes:

Palin sets up a quite extraordinary breasts-and-ammo joke by telling the crowd that for Christmas, her husband had bought her a rack to hold guns on the back of her truck. Then comes the sexy punchline:

He’s got the rifle, I’ve got the rack!

As attendants carried the coronary casualties in the audience out to the waiting fleet of ambulances, as an example of “less government” Palin chose Mayor Bloomberg’s War on Soda (this is where the slurping comes in), ostentatiously sucking on a mammoth serving through a straw in a manner which suggested that if there was a baseball in there, goshdarn she was havin’ it. If she followed it up with a burp, the networks cut it and the written record is silent. But it did lead to a new party game:

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Strabismus or Sloshed?

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Posted by YAFB on 03/16/13 at 06:24 PM
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Friday, March 15, 2013

DIY Blog Post

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Help me out here.

If, as Mitch McConnell claimed at CPAC today, the Democrats’ 2016 “presidential ticket looks like a rerun of the Golden Girls,” given that the all-star lineup at CPAC 2013 includes in its cast Jeb Bush, Eric Cantor, Steven Crowder, Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, Newt Gingrich, Bobby Jindal, Michele Bachmann, Steve King, Ron Johnson, Wayne LaPierre, Dana Loesch, Reince Preibus, Sarah Palin, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Mitt Romney, Wayne Allyn Root, Marco Rubio, Paul Ryan, Rick Santorum, Donald Trump, Scott Walker, Ben Shapiro, Allen West, the ghost of Andrew Breitbart, and Mitch himself, what rerun shows would best encapsulate:

(a) CPAC 2013?
(b) the Republicans’ prospective 2016 presidential ticket?

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Posted by YAFB on 03/15/13 at 11:30 AM
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Thursday, February 21, 2013

Breitbart Memorial Disinformation Site to Change Name to “Friends of Humus”

During last year’s election, we and many others remarked on the possibly disastrous consequences of politicians believing the BS that the rightwing blogosphere and other online media peddle and parroting it in public, where occasionally more stringent evidential standards apply. It cost Mittens dear during the second Presidential Debate when his attempt to bully President Obama about when precisely he characterized the Benghazi attack as an act of terrorism backfired catastrophically and left him scraping egg off his coif.

The latest episode illustrating this syndrome involves our old pals the Breitbartlets, in particular Ben Shapiro. Simon Moloy at Media Matters summarizes:

On February 7, Breitbart.com’s Ben Shapiro reported that Defense Secretary nominee Chuck Hagel (according to “Senate sources”) received money from a group called “Friends of Hamas.” The report spread quickly through the conservative media as damning of Hagel, until Dave Weigel at Slate.com pointed out a salient fact—there’s no evidence that “Friends of Hamas” exists. Now, New York Daily News reporter Dan Friedman is claiming that a joke he shared with a GOP source is the provenance of “Friends of Hamas.” In response to their story falling apart, Shapiro and Breitbart.com—who angrily and self-righteously demand accountability from the rest of the media for every slip-up, real or imagined—are lashing out and refusing to accept responsibility for publishing a report based on a falsehood.

If Shapiro deserves credit for anything, it’s introducing us to a new meme about his oeuvre—”accurate and clearly caveated,” which translates as, “I pulled this out of somebody else’s ass, and I warned you it was probably bullshit at the time.” (It’s also led to much Twitter punnery on the lines of “Friends of Hummus” etc., to which the title of this post is a humble contribution.)

Meanwhile, the unspeakable John Nolte has been wearing out his iPhone in a desperate CYA campaign on Twitter. You can always tell when they’ve screwed up particularly badly because he goes postal.

Malkin’s Twitchyite horde have also been trying to comfort each other, distracting and covering their embarrassment by picking up on a brief minor omission by BuzzFeed’s Cat Correspondent Andrew Kaczynski.

There’s a conspicuous silence and lack of support for Shapiro on this issue from the rest of the RW blogs, some of whom, like Hugh Hewett, were also caught out, the buffoonery also ensnaring Rand Paul. Others are crediting the ‘bartlets et al. for fouling the pitch for their conspiracymongering and virtually ensuring Hagel’s appointment next Monday.

I may be premature and overly optimistic here, but the era of knitting your own reality seems to be drawing to a close. Will Republicans ever learn to factcheck before shooting their mouths off on the basis of the nonsense their online organs churn out? I hope not.

Posted by YAFB on 02/21/13 at 06:51 AM
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