Giuliani is a Jerk

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

All-Rudy Giuliani Day at Rumproast!!! #6:  *poof*

Well, it looks like a lot of people in Florida took their broke votes home. The 50-state strategy that became the one-state strategy is now officially THE DUMBEST FUCKING STRATEGY IN THE WORLD:

Sen. John McCain won Florida’s Republican primary on Tuesday, driving Rudy Giuliani from the race and taking a critical victory over Mitt Romney in the battle for momentum before the race for the GOP presidential nomination turns to Super Tuesday.

Giuliani will end his campaign and endorse McCain on Wednesday at the Reagan library in Simi Valley, Calif., a senior member of his campaign told NBC News late Tuesday.

The terrorists’ was against us, as Rudy likes to call it, just took its latest victim.  Never forget ... the laughter.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/29/08 at 10:10 PM
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All-Rudy Giuliani Day at Rumproast!!! #5: Refuse to lose

You can’t spell REFUSE without R-U-D-Y!!!

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/29/08 at 07:43 PM
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All-Rudy Giuliani Day at Rumproast!!! #4:  Nobody looks sexier in a yarmulke than Rudy!

Nobody! They should rename them Giulianis!!!


(click hotness for more boner-making!!!)

It increases his handsomeness. Manly and homo-making!! Resuscitate Podhoretz! He faints from the sexy!!!

 

 

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/29/08 at 01:15 PM
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All-Rudy Giuliani Day at Rumproast!!! #3:  Rudy is money!!!

He’s money! He’s like cash, cold and hard. If you ain’t down with Rudy, take yo’broke vote home!!! 9/!!

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/29/08 at 11:29 AM
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All-Rudy Giuliani Day at Rumproast!!! #2:  Rudy (hearts) people and people (heart) Rudy!

You know cops and firemen fucking love love LOVE Rudy to death, but did you know that bus drivers love love LOVE the fucking shit out of him, too?  They do!!! And he loves them, too!!!

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/29/08 at 09:59 AM
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All-Rudy Giuliani Day at Rumproast!!! #1:  “If you ain’t down with Rudy take yo’broke vote home!”

Since today probably spells the end to one of the worst.political.campaigns.ever., we’re going to commit the whole day to whumping that vicious prick Rudy Giuliani over the head while we still can.  So let’s start with that rousing and snicker-worthy pro-Rudy anthem “President” ... everybody ... sing it:

Global Warming, it won’t matter
if we get bombed and all get splattered.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/29/08 at 08:31 AM
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Saturday, January 26, 2008

Weirdo

In the previous post I said I was going to avoid politics for the next few days.  I forgot I only had a few more days to kick Rudy in ground zero:

“He strikes me as weird,” said Donald Croll, a retired engineer who attended a Giuliani rally in Sun City. He frowned at the memory of Mr. Giuliani appearing in drag at a New York event and divorcing his second wife while having an affair with the woman who became his third. Said Mr. Croll: “I’ve had two wives, but my first one died of cancer.”

Ouch. Read the whole thing.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/26/08 at 10:34 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '08Giuliani is a Jerk

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

“The eyes of Rudolph W. Giuliani pop wide.”

Rudy Popeye Giuliani

Pretty soon I won’t have Rudy Giuliani to kick around anymore, so let me enjoy punting his sorry ass for a few more days:

Then he leans in to listen to a question from a television reporter: “Mayor, you’ve had the state to yourself here in Florida for so long, for weeks,” she says. “Why is it that you seem to be losing support, not gaining support?”

The eyes of Rudolph W. Giuliani pop wide. He tosses back his head and cackles in a manner not even vaguely suggestive of humor. What a crazy idea!

“I think the reality is that we are gaining support,” he said. “Our campaign is now in high gear.”

Before another question can be asked, Mr. Giuliani says thank you, waves, pivots, kisses a startled baby and walks out a side door.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/23/08 at 11:23 PM
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Packed to the gills

Atlas Shrieks’ “Rudy Operative” breathlessly reports:

The Associated (With Terrorists) Press filed this story re: today’s event, and included 4 photos. 3 were of the Ron Paulians, 1 was of Rudy (with signs behind him) and 1 was of a DOG. The reporting on this is a scandal. Not 1 pic from inside the place—- PACKED TO THE GILLS with supporters.

The story she’s referring to is this one. As it turns out, the “Associated (With Terrorists) Press” did take a few photos inside of the restaurant.  Want to see what “PACKED TO THE GILLS” looks like?

This is what it looks like:

That’s Molly and Matilda Gills on the left, waiting for their check.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/23/08 at 10:29 AM
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Monday, January 21, 2008

This is what desperation sounds like: “I wanna ride a pace car!”

Man, I’m going to enjoy watching this whiny wanker flame out in Florida:

During a stop at the Daytona International Speedway today, Rudy Giuliani got to take a lap around the track in his campaign bus. But riding around the track in a full size bus wasn’t quite enough for the former mayor. He pleaded with driver Rusty Wallace and multiple NASCAR officials on site to get a ride in one of the racecars but was continually rebuffed.

Watch it:

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/21/08 at 05:38 PM
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Rudy wanted to lose his home state.  It’s part of his most excellentest primary strategy ever!!!

From The New York Observer:

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani trails Senator John McCain by 12 points among Republicans in the upcoming New York presidential primary and Senator Hillary Clinton continues to have a commanding lead over Senator Barack Obama in the Democratic primary, according to a new Siena (College) Research Institute poll of registered voters released today. [...]

“In a stunning turnaround, John McCain has turned a 33-point deficit with Republican voters in December into a 12-point lead over Rudy Giuliani today,” said Steven Greenberg, Siena New York Poll spokesman. “While America’s mayor still has strong support among New York City Republicans, he is getting beat by McCain in the suburbs and trounced upstate. Republican women give Rudy a small edge, however, Republican men are behind McCain nearly three-to-one.”

McCain has the support of 36 percent of Republicans, followed by Giuliani at 24 percent, former Governor Mitt Romney at 10 percent, Governor Mike Huckabee at 7 percent, and former Senator Fred Thompson at 6 percent. Seventeen percent of Republicans remain undecided. Giuliani led McCain 48-15 percent on December 10.

But don’t you worry about Rudy.  This is all part of his excefuckallent super smart 50-state strategy!!  And besides, today he got an endorsement from Johnny Damon,  who many of you may remember as Yitzhak from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Rudy’s got this bitch all sewed up!

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/21/08 at 12:41 PM
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Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Sunday Selector: January 20th, 2008

John Prine & Iris DeMent - “In Spite of Ourselves”

Saturday, January 12, 2008

New Yorkers really like Hillary.  Rudy, not so much.

Since this is a New York blog, here are the latest state primary poll results for you:

Dems:
56% Hillary Clinton
29% Barack Obama
 8% John Edwards

Repubs:
32% Rudy Giuliani
29% John McCain
12% Mike Huckabee
 7% Mitt Romney
 6% Fred Thompson
 3% Ron Paul

Quick thoughts: Unless Hillary stumbles horribly, she is unstoppable here (but I guess we all knew that).  Obama’s only real play is to go for picking up as many delegates as he can.  McCain probably got a good bounce out of New Hampshire in this poll, but if Giuliani doesn’t perform well in Florida, don’t be surprised if McCain pulls off an upset in New York.  I’m kind of surprised Huckabee polled as well as he did and somewhat less surprised at how poorly Romney polled.  And, hey, we don’t have enough nutjobs in NY to boost Ron Paul’s numbers?  I figured he would have finished above Thompson at the very least.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/12/08 at 10:27 AM
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Friday, January 11, 2008

Rudy Don’t Lose That Number

9-11 Luftkabooms
Judith Nathan and Rudy Giuliani perform “9-11 Luftkabooms” at a karaoke fundraiser in Hialeah, Florida on January 10, 2008.

RELATED: Several people seem convinced that Giuliani’s campaign is doomed, but I’ve been hesitant to write him off yet.  Until now.

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/11/08 at 12:11 AM
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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

And what happened next was very interesting…

January 9th, 2008. Never forget:

Republican Rudy Giuliani’s speech on taxes got sidetracked Wednesday after a bomb threat forced organizers to move to another location.

The former New York mayor planned to address a town hall meeting with 200 Harris Corp., employees and Giuliani supporters. The event was scuttled when six of the company’s buildings were evacuated. Instead, Giuliani began his speech an hour later in a nearby airport hanger, where campaign workers handed out water to supporters waiting in the sun as bomb sniffing dogs checked reporters’ equipment and airport security workers screened attendees.

Some 50 supporters heard the speech and there was no time for questions.

[...]

Despite the turn of events Wednesday, Giuliani said the tax speech was a success.

“We got a lot of attention for it. We showed that we can go with the punches,” he said afterward, noting that at least one national television network covered it live. “Maybe if there wasn’t the threat, we wouldn’t have gotten the live coverage.”

Hmmmm, maybe they wouldn’t have. (Kevin rubs chin.)

How convenient to have this happen to the “war on terror” candidate after he bombed (excuse the pun) in the New Hampshire primaries and is dropping like a rock in the Florida polls.

MORE: This local news report from Florida is pretty funny.  Check out the video (IE works better than Firefox). Here’s an excerpt of the transcript:

And what happened next was very interesting and we have video tape of that as well.  Instead, very interestingly enough, the mood changed.  We got law enforcement officers galore.  We got bomb-sniffing dogs. We had the media going through security checks, which is highly unusual at this stage of the game.

Welcome to Rudy Giuliani’s America.

read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 01/09/08 at 08:12 PM
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