Hillary Clinton

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Nope-Got No Sole

Okay—that title is lifted from a tweet from Jonathan Capehart, who documents the silliness of the “Shoe Truthers” with a trace of the exasperation any sane person might feel when examining the actual serious thought processes of people who might be a wee bit paranoid a lot.

I’m kind of an uptight thinker who seldom strays into the fanciful except to atomize a yet-more out-there notion—so let me boringly put a damper on this thing: there is obviously no way for any person to aim a shoe that they were wearing at a public figure and then hobble off scot-free. They are certain to be apprehended—any fancy of flight would prove, well, bootless.  Any collusion to plant a person in an audience to launch a shoe would involve some connecting factor, because once charged with a federal offense (and a savvy lawyer like Hillary Clinton would have known this much) any stooge paid off to, for some kind of reason, launch a shoe at her, would roll like the mighty Mississippi. Who would bargain away their freedom for X-untraceable amount of funds for a PR scheme? The sane folks who’d go for that are few and far between, and there are many limiting factors involved in employing someone who would not be classified as mentally fit.

And let’s consider the PR downsides, which are numerous. Getting smacked upside the old bean with a sneaker would be ungraceful, so one might study to avoid head to tennie contact. Ducking is, itself, a kind of submissive posture. The actual fact of anyone launching an athletic shoe at one implies unpopularity—there is no good reason anyone would want to portray that level of unpopularity. A “lone shoe-er” is a poor representative of anything like a “vast, right-wing conspiracy”, so activating sympathetic historical memes is out…leaving what exactly? A footwear fetish?

So fine, you are left with the spectacle of a former First Lady, US Senator, and Secretary of State ducking and covering from a podalic projectile because that’s the way she likes it. Uh huh? Uh huh. That is some serious stupid.  I do not know what to make of anyone who would stupid that hard.

(X-posted at Strangely Blogged.)

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 04/15/14 at 11:37 PM
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Sunday, March 16, 2014

Lose, Reince, Repeat

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I have to hand it to Reince Priebus, the guy is no quitter. 

Despite the fact that his party’s candidates turned the 2012 presidential campaign into an internationally acclaimed political farce and handily lost an election that they believed they had in the bag, Reince was undaunted.  The RNC chairman spent his entire post-election Christmas vacation pounding out 100 pages of extreme makeover ideas for the GOP, some of which were pretty good ones.  Ultimately, all of them were cavalierly dismissed or completely ignored by the rank and file.

So that was one year down the tubes.  Now we’re heading into mid-term elections which, if current GOP trends prevail, will surely prove to be a farcical free-for-all in search of America’s Biggest Extremist.  Karoli over at Crooks and Liars has astutely observed the usual Republican establishment’s pre-election jitters surfacing already:

It must be an election year, because there’s no other reason for wingers who never do anything about their crazies to react to the backlash over Austin Ruse’s statement that “liberal professors should just be taken out and shot.

We’re bound to see more such organizational hand-wringing before November but, let’s face it, Reince doesn’t really have a prayer of keeping that many congressional races sane, so that’ll be another year shot.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 03/16/14 at 12:14 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '14Election '16Hillary ClintonNutters

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Sister Boogie Woman Rising

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Republicans are quite vexed, in this pre-election period, that they have been smeared with the dastardly War on Women rep.  And who could blame them?  Without getting into the nits and gnats of the history of misogyny and sexism, they certainly didn’t invent such a thing [although they did invite the Church People into their tent and, I think it’s fair to say, the Church People did have a hand in inventing it].

Be that as it may, Republicans certainly never have gone out of their way to actually help or encourage or empower women, either.  And now, before the GOP has had a couple of decades to recover from the first Black president, they are being forced to mobilize against the spectral notion of a first female president.

The Republican Party is scared to death of Hillary Clinton because Hillary Clinton has “Boogie.”

Let’s let Lily Tomlin, her own self, remind us why that’s so frightening . . .

So.  Let the hilarity ensue because it’s awfully hard to fight against something you can’t fathom.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 02/12/14 at 10:44 AM
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Thursday, January 23, 2014

Looks Like Hillary Clinton Is Going to Run After All

I was one of maybe five people who didn’t think Hillary Clinton was going to run for president in 2016. Looks like I was wrong (via the NYT):

The largest liberal “super PAC” in the country has begun raising money to elect Hillary Rodham Clinton president, formally aligning itself with Mrs. Clinton’s undeclared presidential ambitions more than two years away from the election.

The group, Priorities USA Action, which played a pivotal role in helping re-elect President Obama, also named new directors to steer the organization, appointments that will both cement the group’s pro-Clinton tilt and thrust veterans of Mr. Obama’s political and fund-raising operation into the center of the post-Obama Democratic Party.

Derp. There’s no way dialed-in folks like Jim Messina, et al, are out there shaking high-dollar donors down on behalf of HRC if she’s not running. So she’s running.

I’m not sure how to feel about that. I’ll definitely vote for her if she wins the nomination, and considering that the Republicans will hork up some psycho who will pledge to slash the social safety net and roll back rights for women, gays and minorities to disguise the party’s machinations on behalf of the plutocrat class, I’ll not only vote for her, I’ll donate to her campaign and work my ass off locally to get her elected. 

But I’m far from convinced she’s the right candidate for all sorts of reasons. What do you guys think?

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/23/14 at 11:16 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '16Hillary Clinton

Friday, September 20, 2013

The Real “L” Word: Hillary Clinton Episode

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Forging ever onward on his earthly mission, Bryan Fischer, Dude-of-all-Trades for the American Family Association, has outed Hillary Clinton lest she try to get her hands on the the helm of our rickety ship of state sometime in the near future.

Fischer, who has his very own sheltered workshop on talk radio, made his blockbuster announcement thusly:

“. . . the bottom line is that if Hillary Clinton becomes president in 2016 she will not only be our first female president she could be our first lesbian president.”

The authoritative source for Fischer’s scoop is none other than Gennifer Flowers, award-winning expert on the sex lives of the Clintons, who told a Daily Mail interviewer, [the UK’s National Enquirer wannabe], that the Secretary of Explaining Things told her, his own self, that Hill is bisexual.

[Obviously, Fischer believes that “lesbian” = “bisexual.”  It’s all just one big disgusting orgy.]

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Posted by Bette Noir on 09/20/13 at 09:18 AM
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Categories: LGBTPoliticsHillary ClintonNutters

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Widespread Outbreak of Impeachment Fever Plagues Red States

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(h/t image)

Well.  It’s now almost a year since the GOP continued its losing streak of four out of the last six presidential elections, not including the Supreme Court intervention in 2000 that accounted for one of the two wins. 

Despite the brief euphoria of the 2010 House invasion, the Republican party is bitterly staggering its way through the Five Stages of Grief only to arrive at the looming death star called Hillary. Having spent quite a lot of time in the Denial Stage and then basking in the energizing glow of the Anger Stage, punch-drunk Republicans arrived at the Bargaining Stage just in time for the long Dog Days Recess. 

Unfortunately, this “stage” is not following the script, and feckless legislators are not even safe in their own Town Hall meetings which are being disrupted by hecklers from the Left and the Right.  Several Republicans have been caught flat-footed by constituents who want to know “what’s so bad about Obamacare?” on one side alongside rabble-rousers who want their representatives to “shut down the government like a man!”

It’s a minefield out there . . . of their own making.

So it is that recently some creative party geniuses have revived that old crowd-pleasing favorite “Impeachment” from the GOP playbook.  I guess because it’s always worked so well for them . . . ?

Since Obamacare has gotten to be pretty moldy “red meat,” impeachment serves as a tasty, home-cooked comfort food for the disgruntled base.  Plus, it covers a multitude of grievances: hate Obama’s policies—foreign and domestic—impeach him! hate that Obama is an uppity foreign, socialist, gay-loving, culture war-instigating oligarch? impeach him! hate Obama for having the temerity to be a black man in the White House? impeach him! hate Obama’s wife, his kids, his vacation plans? impeach his ass!!1!!

See how that works?  Don’t tamp down the anger and hate—redirect it.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 08/24/13 at 08:10 AM
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Friday, August 16, 2013

RNC Votes Unanimously To Cut Off Nose; Spite Face

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(illustration h/t the very talented Mario Piperni)

Well, it’s official, the Republican National committee is carrying out its threatened punishment of CNN and NBC over the networks’ plans to air a movie on imaginary 2016 Democratic presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton.  After getting wind of the film project, the RNC’s Prince Rebus sent protest letters to the heads of both networks, followed up by a protracted media-blitz pout.

Here’s a taste of the letters:

[A]s American citizens, certainly you recognize why many are astounded at your actions, which appear to be a major network’s thinly-veiled attempt at putting a thumb on the scales of the 2016 presidential election.

And the “unkindest cut of all”:

If you have not agreed to pull this programming prior to the start of the RNC’s Summer Meeting on August 14[, 2013], I will seek a binding vote of the RNC stating that the committee will neither partner with you in 2016 primary debates nor sanction primary debates which you sponsor.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 08/16/13 at 11:39 AM
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Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Gohmert Speaks: Real Men Don’t Close Embassies . . . HOO-rah!

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Well, as I mentioned yesterday, it’s Silly Season which means lots of open-mic time for politicians aiming to make an impression on the American electorate.  So it is that Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Planet Xanax) subbed for Sean Hannity on his newly-divorced-from-Cumulus radio program, yesterday.

Gohmert opened with a shout out to the blogging community:

All of you on the left coast, the left bloggers that … you couldn’t find your rear-end with both hands, well listen: I know you monitor every word I say,” he said. “Well, grab some popcorn, we’re going to have a fun three hours.

And things deteriorated from there . . .

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Posted by Bette Noir on 08/06/13 at 09:06 AM
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Categories: PoliticsBqhatevwrHillary ClintonNuttersTeabaggery

Monday, August 05, 2013

RNC Forfeits 2016 Presidential Election Because UNFAIR LIBERALS!!!

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Prince Rebus of the Republican National Committee officially kicked off the 2013 “silly season” with a theatrical tantrum and ultra-silly threat to TV broadcasters CNN and NBC.  NBC recently announced signing actress Diane Lane to portray Hillary Clinton in a 4-part mini-series covering Hillary’s life and times since 1998 [which she, and we, might remember as a low point in the Clinton saga] all the way up to the fabulous here-and-now.

Upon hearing that news, multitudes of Republican strategist’s, already working boiler room hours to destroy an undeclared candidate, spontaneously combusted, culminating in Priebus’ coup de grace—a Republican boycott of the 2016 presidential debates broadcasts on NBC and CNN [OUCH!].

Now, I know it’s an utterly “lib-tard” thing to do, but let’s go over a few facts here:

1) Hillary Clinton is not running for president.  IF she decides to do that, then might be the time to rekindle one’s hair and scream foul, equal time, etc (if it even applies, in such a case??);

2) Clinton, herself, has not given her blessing to the project and is probably hoping for it to go away almost as much as Prince Rebus.  The period, 1998 - 2013 covers a lot of material that Clinton might be happy to leave behind, like a brutal primary and losing the Democratic nomination, Clinton’s defense of Huma Abedin, who has only become a greater liability, of late, and, of course, Benghazi-gate.  Why would anyone assume that a mini-series will be a laudatory piece of hero-worship?

3) IF Clinton runs, as we, the GOP and Reince Priebus know, she doesn’t need a mini-series (or an Academy Award-winning feature film) to clean their clock.

So.  To review . . .  it is in no way shocking, or appalling, un-American, or unfair or any of the other words Priebus used, to express his overheated faux outrage at the thought of a ratings-challenged broadcaster trying to attract some viewers with a mini-series on a wildly popular, recently retired Washington insider.  If Hillary does run, no 3-year-old mini-series, no presidential debate coverage, no nothing is going to alter the GOP’s abysmal losing streak in national elections.  Republicans know how to beat the odds and lose, when they’re favored to win.

But, the important thing here, from a Republican perspective, is that the base will just gobble this up and whip themselves into an anti-Democratic frenzy.  FOX, the Breitbartlets, Drudge and the TEA Party howlers will flog this story for all it’s worth for at least two weeks of the recess, handily diverting attention from Congress’ abysmal performance and the delusional “defund Obamacare” campaign that seems to be all they’ve got.

Exhibit A: the Twittersphere is already lighting up faster than Michelle Malkin can twitch.  What fun!

Even better, when Republicans lose the 2016 presidential election they’ll be able to blame that danged Hillary mini-series.  And the FIRST AMENDMENT!!1!

Posted by Bette Noir on 08/05/13 at 02:14 PM
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Categories: PoliticsBedwettersElection '16Hillary Clinton

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Big Dawg Barks At Cloud—ETA: Of Sarin Gas

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“In this audio obtained by XXX media outlet at this private event” is a phrase heard often enough that you’d think politicians would have wised up by now, but “wised up” is not a phrase often associated with the breed. And so it was that Bill Clinton appeared at famed diplomatic scholar John McCain’s Institute For International Shit-Stirring and opined that Obama risked “looking like a wuss” on Syria, which country is a hot mess to the naked eye, but these men of celebrated discretion can descry that Syria is begging for a little intervention! To blazes with Barack’s cautious approach, which must be poll-driven! Onward, ever onward, arm those rebels and ignore those polls, the two old mavericks agreed. Because there’s nothing worse than being shown up by history as a fool.

Former Secretary Of State Hillary Clinton had no comment on the matter, just a long sigh.
Update: Uh-oh.

As usual, whether it’s warmongering or attention whoring, McCain’s always the first out of the box! Obama may as well stay home: President McCain has already told the American People. Make with the weaponry, and full speed ahead!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/13/13 at 05:48 AM
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Sunday, May 19, 2013

SHOCKED! Shocked, I Tell You!

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[Updated below the fold]

What a week!  And, I have to agree with Jay Carney, it’s actually been a good week, if for no other reason than its entertainment value.  Scandalpalooza has downtrodden Republicans floating in a purple haze of political fairy dust and, history teaches us that when the GOP has magic on its mind it becomes rather spectacularly self-destructive.

By the end of a week of Republican non-stop merrymaking, Prince Rebus and “You’re a Mean One, Mr Gingrich” are the sole, sober voices of reason. Say what you will about Newt, but he does have decades worth of first-hand knowledge of the inner workings, serial miscalculations, over-reach and bumbling blunders that have carried the GOP to its present-day level of uselessness. 

So it is that Prince and Newt are the grownups desperately calling cabs for the less inhibited partygoers before they start spewing a skinful of Impeachment Punch all over the rotunda.

In one of those cabs, we find Peggy Noonan belting out “those were the days, my friend” spliced with “we are in the middle of the worst Washington scandal since Watergate” and “the South shall rise again.”  [I added that last part; it seemed to fit]
 
Admittedly, it’s been a while since Peggy Noonan made any sense to me.  At first, I thought she was cleverly speaking in tongues.  But Peggy’s Catholic and they generally frown on that kind of melodrama. 

Nowadays, I tend to agree with Charlie Pierce:

God put her [Noonan] on this earth to make Maureen Dowd look sane.

That makes more sense to me.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/19/13 at 06:09 AM
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Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

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If you’re rooting for the Republican Party to survive until 2016, you probably believe that Benghazi-Gate is a game-changing strategy of diabolical brilliance.  In fact, it’s really pathetic and graphically demonstrates how utterly out of juice the GOP has become. 

For the first few months after the Reality of 2012 set in, some Republicans actually toyed with the idea of substantive changes to their antiquated policy platform by convincing themselves that Latinos were natural-born, big-C conservatives.  The RNC did it’s little soul-search and discovered that some “serious Republicans” could stomach reaching out to black, Hispanic and Asian voters because they just knew that, if only they could articulate what’s in their little conservative hearts, minorities would drop everything and register Republican.

The GOP beat the bushes and found themselves some folks of the “right persuasion” to head up their outreach programs in the states and to sign up “more of their own kind.”  Slight miscalculation.  Yesterday, in Florida, one of the most important outreach outposts, the newly appointed RNC State Director Of Outreach, Pablo Pantoja, had to regretfully resign his post and switch his political affiliation from Republican to Democrat. 

Here’s how he put it:

It doesn’t take much to see the culture of intolerance surrounding the Republican Party today.  I have wondered before about the seemingly harsh undertones about immigrants and others. Look no further; a well-known organization recently confirms the intolerance of that which seems different or strange to them.

Who could’ve seen that coming?  Meanwhile, while one faction of the GOP is strategizing about how to come up with enough voters to win a national election, again, ever . . . Hillary Clinton emerges as the Democrats secret weapon for 2016 already raining on the parades of the GOP’s Earnest Young Men potential candidates.  Hillary could beat any, or all, of them tomorrow, if necessary.

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Posted by Bette Noir on 05/14/13 at 10:43 AM
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Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Hillary Clinton Comes Out…

...in favor of marriage equality:

Good for her.

Andrew Stiles at NRO implies that Secretary Clinton is dancing for donations from gay puppet-masters:

Big Money Backs Clinton on Gay Marriage
 
Former secretary of state and potential 2016 presidential contender Hillary Clinton announced her support for gay marriage on Monday in a video posted online by the Human Rights Campaign, one of the Democratic party’s most prolific campaign donors over the years.

The Human Rights Campaign has contributed more than $10 million to Democrats since 1990, and has spent more than $21 million on lobbying since 1998, according to the Center for Responsive Politics, which describes the group as a “heavy hitter” in federal elections.

On what planet does $10 million in campaign contributions over 23 years qualify as “big money?” Hell, Sheldon Adelson shook $20 mill out of his sofa cushions for Gingrich’s Quixotic primary run before going on to spend serious cash on the actual nominee. And he’s just one dude in one election cycle.

The consensus for marriage equality is accelerating, thanks to the Democrats, notably President Obama. Conservatives like the nitwits at NRO still can’t quite believe this is happening, so they’re casting about for alternate explanations.

Republicans who have the most well-developed sense of political self-preservation will climb off the bigot bus toot sweet, leaving sad busybodies like NOM’s Brian Brown holding a pile of white sheets and “God Hates Fags” signs.

It’s a joy to behold.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 03/19/13 at 07:24 AM
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Categories: LGBTPoliticsHillary ClintonNuttersYouTubidity

Friday, February 15, 2013

A Den of Furry Iniquity

You know, I’ve been percolating over a long-form thing about FreedomWorks, and the revelation that the whole Tea Party notion is a decade-long bit of Astroturf cooked up between the cancer-denialists of Big Tobacco and the Koch brothers, which is all of a piece with the unifying theory of modern conservatism (“Grifters gotta grift”), but you know what? Forget it. That could be a book, someday. In the meanwhile, I think this is as insightful a glimpse into the mentality of these Kochtopi as anything you could find:

Some FreedomWorks staffers worried last year about a promotional video created ahead of FreePAC, a FreedomWorks conference held on July 26, 2012, where thousands of conservative grassroots activists nearly filled the American Airlines Center in Dallas to hear from tea party favorites, including Glenn Beck and Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah). The short film hailing FreedomWorks was intended to play on the large video screens inside the arena.

In one segment of the film, according to a former official who saw it, Brandon is seen waking from a nap at his desk. In what appears to be a dream or a nightmare, he wanders down a hallway and spots a giant panda on its knees with its head in the lap of a seated Hillary Clinton and apparently performing oral sex on the then-secretary of state. Two female interns at FreedomWorks were recruited to play the panda and Clinton. One intern wore a Hillary Clinton mask. The other wore a giant panda suit that FreedomWorks had used at protests to denounce progressives as panderers. (See here, here, and here.) Placing the panda in the video, a former FreedomWorks staffer says, was “an inside joke.”

Another FreedomWorks staffer who worked there at the time confirms that “Yes, this video was created.”

Uh. Huh.  A very serious conservative advocacy group, indeed.

Posted by Vixen Strangely on 02/15/13 at 07:46 PM
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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Hill Back on The Hill

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Secretary of State Clinton tangled with the preening Republican arseholes in the Senate this morning and is right now confronting the unhinged yahoos in the House. I thought she was terrific this morning, from what I saw.

However, I think Steve M at No More Mr. Nice Blog has it right when he notes that, while we lefties perceived Madam Secretary deftly catching her interrogators’ self-serving slings and arrows and hurling them squarely back at her inquisitors’ junk, the right isn’t watching the same show. In response to Senator Johnson’s obsession with Ambassador Rice’s Sunday morning talk show talking points, Secretary Clinton said:

“With all due respect, the fact is we had four dead Americans,” she said. “Was it because of a protest, or was it because of guys out for a walk one night who decided they’d go kill some Americans? What difference, at this point, does it make? It our job to figure out what happened and do everything we can to prevent it from ever happening again, senator. Now, honestly, I will do my best to answer your questions about this. The fact is that people were trying, in real time, to get to the best information.”

Steve observes that the wingnuts have already pounced on the quote: “What difference does it make?” and notes:

They have what they want: a soundbite they can rip from context and use as a cudgel to beat the administration and Secretary Clinton with. I’m not sure if they really expect their efforts to color mainstream coverage of this story, but it’s clear that that’s what they’re hoping. They have a new “you didn’t build that,” a new “spread the wealth around,” and they’re going to wring everything they can out of it.

He’s right, I’m sure. But I’m betting they’ll meet with similar levels of success with their latest chew-toy. Which is to say, zero outside the wingnut echo chamber. Please proceed, Governor.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 01/23/13 at 02:14 PM
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