Pardon me, ladies, but I was wondering if you could help me out—in terms of “fair use,” what am I supposed to do with the envelope, exactly? Strain against it? Rage at it? Please advise.
In honor of this past week’s rare (and probably temporary, but aren’t they all?) victory for the good relatively-speaking guys, I’m celebrating by stealing intellectual property from Balloon Juice. Ripped a really cool image, wanna see it? C’mon, check it out, that way you’re complici—uh, in on a secret!
So I was trying to find a way to rescue that dumb thing I just posted, and when I Google-Imaged “Dick Van Patten” (sounds weird, but you’ll see, or better yet, won’t), this came up with the first set of results.
You don’t understand, I’ve been seeking out this issue my whole entire life. All I remembered was that there was a green rabbit-guy who kicked some other guy in the face—this really stuck with me for some reason—but now that it’s in front of me, every single panel is achingly familiar. I just Butterfly Affected into me when I was, like, six or seven. My prostate feels fantastic!
Thanks, Rumproast. Next time I’ll try to post something we can all derive enjoyment from.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/17/12 at 10:29 PM
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In which America’s favorite unkillable psychotic backwoods mongoloid sets aside his standard arsenal and adopts your weapon of choice, the ukulele.
I guess they went over-budget with the (rather impressive) Jason makeup, otherwise the costuming department surely would’ve outfitted the psychiatrist with some shoes.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/13/12 at 10:07 PM
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Fight back against the War on Friday the 13th by keeping the Jason in Jason Lives! Report to Drill Sergeant Final Girl for your training. C’mon, she worked so hard putting together the kyllabus.
SCHEDULING NOTE: I’m not sure how many (if any) people who know me IRL read this blog, but if you’re out there, I will be watching Friday the 13th 3D tonight from approximately 9pm to 10:35pm. Any non-emergency phone calls made during that time will result in some sort of weapon or garden implement coming RIGHT AT YOU. You wouldn’t want to know me IRD, would you? Hell, you’re getting the short end of the stick as it is. The stick that will be coming RIGHT AT YOU.
All you poli-sci dorks who don’t overlap Vennwise with horror geeks, feel free to assume the post title refers to this.
Can’t say I’ve improved upon his work any, but what couldn’t use a dose of 80s nostalgia, that’s my motto.
Template after the jump. Author of the best submission gets whisked away under cover of night to a vault hundreds of feet underground and allowed to gaze for a full thirty seconds upon the only New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest winner that’s funny even if you don’t account for its creation. Then the bag goes back over your head, and after what feels like a forty-five minute drive you get tossed into a ditch and have to find your way home.
Remember the 80s? Legwarmers, Shrinky Dinks, the ABC Friday Night Movie, Twitter not existing…
Commenters, come out to play-ee-yay!
Actually, going out to play-ee-yay would be preferable, but us destined-to-look-back-on-our-lives-with-regret types gotta have our voices heard too, am I right?
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/06/12 at 08:56 PM
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In this book, you’ll find out who stuck the cactus up Dr. Paul’s ass. He dispenses some tough love to the lazy people mucking it up for the rest of us. Dr. Paul explains the difference between “makers” and ”takers” and how being a maker is preferable unless you’re taking business risks or making babies. Tony Robbins credits this book with changing his life and writes a moving foreword. (Ha! “Moving foreword” cracks me up every time I read it.)
I realize most people would rather let 2011 quietly slip into the mists of memory and get on with life, but you’ll pardon me for taking a hangin’s-too-good-for-it stance; it really was a bastard of a year. In the spirit of very much letting the door hit the old sash-wearing cretin in the ass on his way out, I humbly submit my choice for Worst Of the 2011 Best Ofs. I haven’t actually read any other 2011 Best Ofs, but I can’t imagine I’d find a worthy challenger if I did.
Do you have the logo of a band nobody’s ever heard of tattooed on your arm? I do! HIPSTER VICTORY ASSURED. Remind me to tell you sometime how this factoid relates to Mary Tyler Moore ripping me a new asshole.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/29/11 at 09:46 PM
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