I barely pay attention to Flowbee‘s Fortress of Fucknuttery anymore because it’s plunged deep into the level of relentless loathsome douchebaggery and consequential irrelevancy reserved for the likes of Emperor Misha (I swear, he calls himself Emperor) from Anti-Iditarod Rottwanker and that midget thing from South Africa, but Sadly, No! is still on the case and found (surprise!) an “amazing mix or racism and stupidity.” When I checked out SusanSubHUMAN’s (surprise!) offensive and inaccurate post I was delighted to see my favorite PUMA poet Patrick Henry (previous examples here and here) was still unspooling his literary genius in the comment threads at Flowbee‘s place o’ disgrace. Please enjoy his latest:
“CHICKEN OPPORTUNITY” by Patrick Henry
Well…
That just really Proves that YOBAMA is an OPPORTUNIST…
like they been saying he is…
He Saw the
CHICKEN OPPORTUNITY…
and
He TOOK it..
He possibly sent JOE BIDEN
in first
to create
a Distraction…
Proving
that He
can be
a POLICY maker..
His POLICY…
Turn Your Back and
Your CHICKEN is Mine..
Guess
we know
we better
be lockin up the HEN house..
1) Cleaned my apartment, including dusting my Marty Markowitz bobblehead and my skull mug that holds approximately seventeen writing implements I will never ever use.
2) Bicycled with my lovely wife Chris out to the last day of the Murakami show at Brooklyn Museum. It was crowded and lots of people were posing for pictures with his art like his paintings were long-lost relatives. That annoyed me. I also had no idea what was going on with this “sculpture” (below). It had a vagina and nice boobs, but in the wrong places. That made me uncomfortable.
3) We came back home and drank a couple of Tito’s vodka & tonics in our garden while Chris kicked my ass in spite & malice (these rules are all wrong!) and backgammon. We listened to the Kinks’ Arthur and Men & Volts’ Cheer Up. We talked about how much we liked our garden, what a great day it was and how much we wish Murakami knew where vaginas belonged.
4) I cooked marinated shark on the grill while Chris prepared fresh green beans I got at the farmers market on Saturday. There’s a vendor who sells bread at the farmers market who really creeps me out because he wears teeny tiny 70’s shorts and little icky tanktops and he looks like he stores yeast in his basement next to cribs with handcuffs attached to them. Aside from that, I really like the farmers market. Oh, yeah, the dinner fucking rocked.
This is pretty amazing. It was done in Buenos Aires and Baden (Germany?) by a graffiti artist named Blu. You can read more about him and see more of his work here.
We all know that artists see things differently from the rest of us, but how many folks watch a grainy video of hooded captors shouting demands over a shuddering abductee and think, Ah! Romance! It turns out there are at least two: Clay McLeod Chapman and Kyle Jarrow. In their first collaboration, the rock musical Hostage Song, the playwright and lyricist-composer imagine a man and a woman—bound and blindfolded by an unnamed militia—who somehow manage to fall a little bit in love. At first blush, it may sound like an Eli Roth flick with jazz hands, but the result is a devastatingly poignant, strangely philosophical meditation on salvation that just happens to sport a sick downbeat.
The Brooklyn Museum is having an open call until 3/31 for a photography exhibition called “Click,” about the changing face of Brooklyn. Initial submissions are online, and there will be an exhibition at the Museum after the works have been selected. If you know someone who would be interested in participating, please forward this along to them.
“Brooklyn, like most of New York City, is in a constant state of change. Population growth and environmental causes have altered the borough’s terrain, transforming commercial and residential areas and impacting the borough’s residents and activity. Considering Brooklyn’s transformation over the years, its past and its present, please submit a photograph that captures the ‘changing face(s) of Brooklyn.’ We welcome a wide variety of visual interpretations of this topic.”
Mick Jagger—“Memo from Turner” (from the film Performance)
BOBBY CHARLES: I got turned on to Bobby Charles while listening to Devendra Banhart guest DJing on WNYC’s “Spinning on Air.” It was a warm spring night, I had the radio on out in the garden, and Charles’ song “I Must Be in a Good Place Now” wrapped snuggly around my head like the most comforting cloth ever created. An absolutely gorgeous moment. Charles’ phenomenal debut album, recorded with most of the members of The Band and Dr. John, inexplicably swings in and out of print and The Heat Warps was kind enough to upload it recently for your listening pleasure. Believe me, you need this.
BOOT CAMP—THE END OF THE LINE: Robin completed her initial six-weeks of hell in boot camp and the whole series has been an entertaining, ahem, “reed.” Click and scroll around her blog (pretty much the closest thing I get to exercise these days) to see what she went through.
TO MY GREAT CHAGRIN: The eagerly-awaited (in my house, at least) world premiere of the documentary To My Great Chagrin: The Unbelievable Story of Brother Theodore comes to MOMA this Wednesday, February 13th (also playing on March 1st). He was a complex, brilliant and vastly underrated performance artist and you can view some of his pitch-perfect and hysterical ravings in a video compilation we posted here back in September.
FUERZABRUTA: Friday I took my lovely wife Chris to see Fuerzabruta, the new spectacle from the creators of De La Guarda, for her birthday at the Daryl Roth Theatre and was totally blown away by it. I enjoyed De La Guarda, but thought it was a little over-hyped and found myself wishing it would come to an end about 45-minutes into it. Fuerzabruta, on the other hand, I never wanted to end, noticing at several points during the performance that my face was smeared with a thoroughly ridiculous shit-eating grin that only a child can accommodate without feeling like a complete tool. As an added bonus, I was selected by one of the Fuerzabruta “dancers” to join her on a metal platform and dance in front of hundreds of people before having an oversized, exploding paper cinderblock dropped on our heads. According to Chris the crowd was cheering me on (I inserted several of my death-defying robot maneuvers into my routine) and afterwards the dancer came over and gave me a big thumbs up when she found me back in the crowd. If you’re a New Yorker, I highly recommend checking this show out. If the $72 price tag is too steep for you, they sell $25 rush tix at the box office two hours before each performance.
Here’s a sneak peek at Olafur Eliasson’s “New York City Waterfalls,” which will send water cascading from under the Brooklyn Bridge and from three free-standing scaffolds in New York Harbor — including this view of Governors Island off Red Hook — from July through October.
In the spirit of Christo and Jeanne-Claude’s “The Gates” project, Eliasson’s $15 million art project will consist of four waterfalls, towering between 90 and 120 feet, that will gush between 7 am and 10 pm every day.
You can view all of the waterfall images here. You can check out more of Eliasson’s work here.
Jeffrey Lewis—“Anxiety Attack” (unauthorized fan video)
The Hyena and Other Men: If you’re a New Yorker you’ve only got a few days left to immerse yourself in Pieter Hugo’s stunning exhibit at the Yossi Milo Gallery. It’s comprised of large-scale photographs of a band of Nigerian men who roam the country with a menagerie of animals and a six-year-old girl named Mummy. You can view most of the photos at the gallery (and many, many more) here (hint: view images separately—right-click), but the small JPGs are nowhere near as impactful as witnessing them blown up and surrounding you.
Butter 08: Egg City Radio is giving away Butter 08’s way-fun and punk-funky (and out-of-print) selt-titled ‘96 release featuring Miho from Cibo Matto and Russell from the Blues Explosion. From Miho saying, “Thank you, daddy” to the last throbbing yelps of “Butterfucker,” this delivers great gifts to your needy assbone.
Why I Believe Bush Must Go: George McGovern writes an editorial in The Washington Post calling for the impeachment of Bush and Cheney. Yes, that sound you hear off in the distance is the howler monkeys of the right going batshit.
