Thursday, February 02, 2012

No, this is not a flight of fancy. As I buried in another post, you really can buy a Susan B. Komen gun. What you choose to bury is entirely your business. I’m not saying a thing.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 02/02/12 at 11:49 PM
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Yes, the Ambassador would like us to know she means to preserve as many of us as she can~~but the sacred bio-essence passing through these portals must be preserved! A number of us may have to be sacrificed, but the bio-essence must be maintained! Come to Pink, children. Want Pink. Don’t turn from Pink. You… need…Pink.

Or, not. So glad I never went for the Pink Kitchen-Aid Mixer. Bundling that thing up and shipping it off to almost-Governor Handel wouldn’t have been a satisfying protest, but not buying it sure is!

Update: did I say Kitchen-Aid Mixer? Pah! Komen be Barnhardtin’! *

*Barnhardtin’

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 02/02/12 at 08:50 PM
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“There are some things that you just can’t imagine happening in your life. This is one of them.”—Willard Mitt Romney

Here’s something Mitt may wish he left in Vegas: the clammy handshake and smoked-brass endorsement of a Quality Birtherloon Fiberglass Fun Figure who’s famous for the phrase “YOU’RE FIRED.” 

The S.S. Grandiose, having sprung a leak too soon this morning, had little to say about the desertion of this particular rat.

UPDATE: The DNC press release about the Trump endorsement was simply the original Romney email, which, the DNC felt, spoke volumes just by itself.

But I thought it needed just one little detail adjusted:

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 02/02/12 at 05:21 PM
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Hard are the privations suffered by those in the fight to stem the Brown Tide threatening to overflow this great land of ours. Here we see Governor Jan “Bulwark” Brewer, putting the funds she raised to fight illegal immigration to good use, investigating appalling rumors of theivery and beheadings at the Waldorf-Astoria in Orlando, Florida.

Before her recent triumphal tour as an advocate for chutzpah-awareness, Governor Brewer’s JAN-PAC had amassed a grand 22K, three quarters of which is still safely banked. The rest went for the above fact-finding, um, night—$625, and the remainder, (pardon the expression, Governor) to buying the Governor’s own book, Breakfast For Scorpions, sorry, Scorpions For Breakfast.

read the whole post »

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 02/02/12 at 02:59 PM
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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Well, it wasn’t failure to launch, because Newt’s launched everything he can. Watch and wait with us, if you can bear the suspense. As usual, TPM has the goods, with their delightful interactive map.

Ooooh, I’m just on tenterhooks, aren’t you?

Update: Know what’s fun? Comparing the results with Betty’s map. So far, two might-as-well-be-Alabama counties are going for Newt, as per her prediction.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/31/12 at 06:50 PM
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Monday, January 30, 2012

Via the Atlantic, What Half-Been is running into a Wall of Opposition from unhappy Teahadist supporters seemingly unmoved by her ghosted scrivelings, right on her own own FB page? The disrespect! And look how she was treated on upstart FOX pundint Jeanine Pirro’s show:

read the whole post »

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/30/12 at 07:04 PM
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Now no fingerpointing! It’s not as if the Governor is the first Arizona Tealoon to turn a tidy profit on her untidy relationship with the truth. So the Governor has managed to massage her encounter with the President into sales: “Scorpions for Breakfast,” her hilarious political fabulation-a-clef,  has zoomed on Amazon from 343,222 to 7. (Thanks TPM) Shall we deny an author the fruits of the sweat of her tongue?

But now to the news I know Roastafarians have been on tenterhooks waiting for: the winner of the Kaption This Kaptious Kook Contest and the valuable, one-of-a-kind Jan Brewer Souvenir Hospitality Bottle Cap:

read the whole post »

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/30/12 at 01:24 PM
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Sunday, January 29, 2012

Oh anti-gay activists, is there anything you can’t make intensely homoerotic? From Raw Story, which sounds super-gay all of a sudden, comes (ha) this far-out (hee hee) claim from the head (oh ho ho) of conservative Christian organization the Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy the Family Research Council, which takes the official position that the hate better be the only thing swelling in you now:

Tony Perkins: Star Wars ‘surrenders to gay empire’

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Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/29/12 at 05:55 PM
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Saturday, January 28, 2012

   
You know it. I know it. And Rick Santorum knows it: the ivy-covered walls of academe are lousy with Obama’s minions, all busily installing Saulinsky chips in the soft malleable brains of the Young. The propensity of these institutions to publish scholarship clearly controverting the received wisdom of the Only Textbook That Counts.  This Liberal-tainted “scholarship” only proves their allegiance to Obama and Lucifer the Lightbringer, which is why we must dismiss it and stick to the wisdom of the bravely Judeo-Christian experts who have set up a parallel world of unaccredited universities and peerless (as in non-peer-reviewed) research.
       

Hail Hail Jeebus U.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/28/12 at 06:29 PM
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Friday, January 27, 2012

Threatened. She says she felt threatened. Well! Having one of them gently touch her elbow while she was wagging her finger in his face would naturally elicit a visceral reaction like that. She was surrounded by them, after all. And of course they all defend each other; what do you expect?

Oh! Surrounded by politicians. What did you think she meant?

Caption Contest Update: I’ll keep it open until Sunday morning. That gives you two weekend nights to drunk-compete for that Jan Brewer Souvenir Hospitality Bottlecap, lovingly, or hastily and lovingly, crafted by me. Bueno suerte!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/27/12 at 12:47 PM
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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Now who would ever believe Jan Brewer could treat the President uncordially?  The Governor wanted a meeting with the President.  He told her that her fabulous description (“fabulous” as in “confabulated”) of the last one they had, as portrayed in her searing expose of why Jan Brewer is as awesome as Jan Brewer, Scorpions For Breakfast: My Fight Against Special Interests, Liberal Media, and Cynical Politicos to Secure America’s Border,  was, well, not very cordial, and then this thing up here happened.  Afterwards, she added to her luster as a wordsmith by calling the President “thin-skinned,” and explained wagging her finger in the President’s face thusly: “I will say that a picture is what it is.”  Thankee, Governor!

The RightOSphere is naturally outraged that the President apparently walked away from the Governor while she was in mid-sentence. I say she’s lucky she can still reach the middle letters on her laptop. Any old hoo, it’s a caption contest waiting to happen. Winner gets a souvenir Jan Brewer Hospitality Bottle Cap.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/26/12 at 10:53 AM
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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Another day, another unexpected point of agreement with otherwise reprehensible Republican carbuncle Newt Gingrich, now cheerfully bloodying the putative GOP nominee at a Univision-sponsored round table:  what a weird, relaxing world Willard Romney inhabits. An Obama-level fantastical world, according to “Moon Miner” Newt (President Obama’s “fantasy” is evidently one Latino voters prefer, incidentally).

Did you hop the roof of a freight train, place your life in the hands of brutal coyotes, or otherwise risk your all and everything to cross the border illegally, only to find you can’t get employment and provide for your family? Just self-deport (which I imagine would go something like this) and reverse the process! You can take a job back home to while away the time while you wait your turn to enter this most greatest nation of all with our collective blessing. Still unsure about whether or how to do it? Here’s a site (H/T Dave Weigel) that can help you take that giant backward step proudly!

Meanwhile, a portion of Mittens’ money somehow has deported itself to pleasant havens like Switzerland and the Cayman Islands, though it was all duly declared——-in the years he let us see, anyway. ; - >

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/25/12 at 02:09 PM
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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

President Obama will address income inequality (ouch, Mitt!), outsourcing (ouch, Mitt) and Congressional obstructionism, and outline an economic blueprint to which Mitch Daniels will then respond using his new, GOP-issued oligarch-friendly talking points.

Streaming.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Drinking games are just not as much fun since excerpts of both the speech and response are in pre-release, but here’s one anyway.

May be semi-live-blogged by yr. semi-live Mrs. Polly, but feel free to take the reins from my bloodless fingers.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/24/12 at 07:56 PM
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Monday, January 23, 2012

Watch the whole spectacle streaming here. The little lumpy avaricious “historian” against the hiccuping Animatronic, dogwhistles at fifteen paces, plus extra-Birther-friendly Ricky Santorum and the little doctor as Inspector Javert.

May Dog have mercy on us all.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/23/12 at 08:57 PM
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Sunday, January 22, 2012

Pardon me, ladies, but I was wondering if you could help me out—in terms of “fair use,” what am I supposed to do with the envelope, exactly? Strain against it? Rage at it? Please advise.

In honor of this past week’s rare (and probably temporary, but aren’t they all?) victory for the good relatively-speaking guys, I’m celebrating by stealing intellectual property from Balloon Juice. Ripped a really cool image, wanna see it? C’mon, check it out, that way you’re complici—uh, in on a secret!

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Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/22/12 at 11:08 PM
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