Thursday, January 19, 2012

Yes, fellow sufferers, another one. But oooh, though the ingredients are unappetizing, it’s going to be so juicy!  Will the newly deCornthroned and sinking Mittens soil his French cuffs directly and rub our protesting psyches in Newt Gingrich’s open marriage, or leave it to the Help as usual?  What whipping personality will feel the Speaker’s lash, and how much will those charmers in the audience eat it up this time?

Starting at 8, carried on CNN, streaming, CNN willing and the intertube don’t break, here. Pass the Pepto, it’s going to be a lumpy night.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/19/12 at 08:21 PM
Permalink

Monday, January 16, 2012

Yes, what better capper to this year’s Martin Luther King commemorations than for a liveshow of all that endears the GOP to civil rights activists everywhere—Martin Luther King was Ron Paul’s hero! Except for that Civil Rights Act Birthday Holiday thing—in the state that gave us Fort Sumter?

Fox News, 9PM. Streaming here.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/16/12 at 09:45 PM
Permalink

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

If the well-disliked main mannequin can remark, “I like to fire people” just before the New Hampshire primary and still come in with a solid lead over more Granite-friendly independents like the spottily absurd little doctor and the elegantly unelectable ambassador, should we just not bother putting popcorn in the microwave for South Carolina?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/11/12 at 01:37 AM
Permalink

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Though the headline at The Hill was “Cantor Reveals Kindred Tweeters,” in the course of my initial sideways glance, my brain unveiled what it deemed to be a far more likely scenario. But indeed, the socially media-savvy congressman, following Twitter’s “Here are some horse’s necks just like you” feature, has discovered bosom Tweetbuddies John Thune, Chris Christie, Jim Jordan, and Bobby “Gilligan” Jindal.  I’in’t that sweet?

You know what’s sweeter? Cantor’s gloriously embarrassing 60 minutes interview, just after the jump.

read the whole post »

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/07/12 at 09:52 PM
Permalink

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Where we’re going, you can’t follow. What we’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Michele, we’re no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that our love for manifestly insane, paranoiac God-bothering wingnuts and their deliciously fey, hysterically oblivious, Medicare-defrauding de-gaying spouses don’t amount to a mound of corn in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that.

Michele has cancelled her South Carolina appearances, and has an 11AM news conference, which C-Span is carrying.  Oh Marcus, how will I get through the rest of this election cycle without you?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/04/12 at 11:57 AM
Permalink

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Blechhh, what a crop! Yes, a certain unGoogleable blighter was left out of the, um, mix. But there it is, your GOP field: a crank, a crook, a kook, a mook, and a life-size plastic schnook. What a time for the Pollyvision to be on the fritz! Luckily, there’s C-Span, which, starting at 7:45, will run the Urbandale (just outside Des Moines) caucus on its main channel, and the Council Bluffs caucus on C-Span 2.  Will Santorummians kick the chairs from under Newtonians and Paulites? Will Perrytista Precinct Captains continue to outnumber actual precincts?

And most important, has Obamawannabee Mittens the Mormon Thug studied the ways of caucus fraud well enough to run away with the thing the way we all know certain interlopers did, once upon a time?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/03/12 at 07:10 PM
Permalink

Monday, January 02, 2012

Hate-spewing Coelecanth and Anders Behring Breivik muse, Pamela “Aynist” Geller, is simply beside herself since WordPress shut down the vile anti-Muslim hate site Bare Naked Islam. Pam is ready to sue for the freedom of BNI commenters to urge , as quoted by CAIR via TPM, ““What’s all this pussy-footing??? Throw 10 Molotov cocktails into these mosques and burn them down even with a**-lifters in them, especially with a**-lifters in them.”

By curious happenstance, 2012 began with a series of four terrorist firebombings in Queens last night. Molotov cocktails, at least three of which utilized Starbucks frappucino bottles, were thrown at mostly Muslim targets: a bodega, a prominant mosque and Islamic Center, a private home, and a house which was known to host Hindu services, which of course we all know are just Islam in paisley camo. 

Would I dare to suggest that last night’s anti-Muslim terrorist firebombings were in any way connected with Pam Geller’s incessant anti-Muslim agitation? Oh heavens, no! Any more than she would suggest that Anders Breivik’s victims were too brown to be considered real Norwe——oh, oops! Inapt simile. Any more than Free Republic would assume that Los Angeles Firebomber Samuel Arrington was Mus——

——Well, Hell’s Bells. Only 363 or so days until New Year’s! New beginnings, and all that. I can hardly wait.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/02/12 at 05:48 PM
Permalink

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Goodbye to the year that gave us Newt ReNewed, Occupations Removed, and Bachmann Corndog Lovin’. The year to come promises to be target-rich, and though the Roast has taken a hit, we will be up and snarking with every bit of childish, unrepentant glee we can muster. Thank you to our Roasty readers for your support through the years of our existence, and health to all, especially our Strange.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 01/01/12 at 12:09 AM
Permalink

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

How are you celebrating National Cocoa Day?

I’m gonna have some hot chocolate and act like a huge ass.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/13/11 at 09:55 AM
Permalink

Saturday, November 26, 2011

As I mentioned earlier, my family and I attempted to walk off our annual Thanksgiving Day feast yesterday with a hike through a primeval swamp located at the northwestern end of the Everglades. You won’t find this sort of scene on a postcard. But I think Florida’s marshlands and swamps have an austere beauty that could rival anything a Brontë sister could conjure:

This particular swamp features a cypress dome containing many ancient bald cypress specimens, so called because they shed most of their leaves in the winter:

read the whole post »

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/26/11 at 08:11 AM
Permalink

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I’m feeling somewhat churlish toward the human race these days, but the fact that people have Photoshopped Lt. John “Pepper-Spray” Pike into numerous works of art restores my faith in humanity a bit.

Posted by Betty Cracker on 11/23/11 at 08:23 AM
Permalink

Monday, October 31, 2011

Some anti-seagoing mammalist has stickered most of lower Manhattan with these. Just one of the many things you didn’t think you had to worry about, but if you like paddling about with large gray rubbery bottlenosed mammals, don’t say you weren’t warned!

Either that or it’s just another NYC company trying to sell you T-shirts suitable for that upcoming Thrash concert. They may be unwittingly doing dolphins a favor, even while slandering them: wild dolphins are beginning to turn tail and flee after the umpteen bazillionth encounter with starry-eyed Flipper fanatics.

In any case, I ain’t swimmin’ with ‘em again. Not after that time in ‘96. But I can’t say any more; I accepted a lot of herring to keep my mouth shut.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/31/11 at 09:22 AM
Permalink

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Well, Libya’s interim government says he’s dead, but they would, wouldn’t they? **UPDATE** Or, they didn’t. ( Ten minutes ago, they did, but that’s the fog of war! Sorry!—ed.) **UPDATEUPDATE** AS OF 1:25: He’s mostly looking still dead, and the President will speak from the Rose Garden at 2.

His convoy was attacked by NATO aircraft in his hometown of Sirte, the last Khadaffi, or Qadafy, or what you will, stronghold. The WaPo is hanging back slightly, going with “Conflicting reports” say he’s dead. Or he was wounded in both legs, captured, and subsequently may or may not have become dead.

In any case, the crafty old thing is captured, and reports of his death are probably not exaggerated. **UPDATE** Libyan officials are confirming that the graphic photo Strange has linked to in comments is Gaddafi. (via TPM Livewire) And the body is being taken to “a secure location,” because Dick Cheney hasn’t had a feed in a while.

(OT note: no, your Flash hasn’t crashed: the Blingee isn’t blinking. It’s just a jpg. Apparently I may have burnt a hole in Rumproast with too many Blingees too close together, so this is just a screencap. To see the thing blink, go here. I’ll have to go on a low-Blingee diet!)

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/20/11 at 08:46 AM
Permalink

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Huzzah! Thers at Whiskey Fire has discovered the Internet’s dumbest post, and it goes right along with the oh-so-fashionable Occupy Wall Street = NAZIS meme making the rounds in Wingnuttry Today: What is this threatening, bizarre “#” symbol OWS protesters are wearing? It’s like a SWASTIKA, but with twice as many lines and they’re not bent or anything, but it’s at THE WELL KNOWN 45-degree NAZI ANGLE!

The post is by” Zombie” of Pajamas Media, of course (H/T Dan Coyle at Thers’ place). It must never have rained on the Teahadists there; they’d drown like turkeys.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/19/11 at 12:24 PM
Permalink

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Brace yourself, Pizza-Man. You were a pretty good lounge act, but you’re on the main stage now. Watch it live at CNN.com. More as your frazzled hostess can provide.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 10/18/11 at 07:48 PM
Permalink