Thursday, June 13, 2013

Heh, The Obrewercare Edition

Because He Was Too Busy Threatening You?

Ever since Battlin’ Jan Brewer refused to sign any more legislation until Arizona passed the Obamacare Medicaid Expansion, Arizona Teapublicans feel like they’ve been punched in the gut!  More like jabbed in the ribs by a governor who knows how to read financial reports, which, like reality, tend to have an anti-Tea bias.  Welcome to the RINOdome, Governor! It’s beginning to look like at at least some Red State executive branches aren’t entirely drowning in tea.

Or tasty, full-bodied ambition.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/13/13 at 02:11 PM

Categories: ImagesPoliticsHealth CareNuttersTeabaggery

Big Dawg Barks At Cloud—ETA: Of Sarin Gas

“In this audio obtained by XXX media outlet at this private event” is a phrase heard often enough that you’d think politicians would have wised up by now, but “wised up” is not a phrase often associated with the breed. And so it was that Bill Clinton appeared at famed diplomatic scholar John McCain’s Institute For International Shit-Stirring and opined that Obama risked “looking like a wuss” on Syria, which country is a hot mess to the naked eye, but these men of celebrated discretion can descry that Syria is begging for a little intervention! To blazes with Barack’s cautious approach, which must be poll-driven! Onward, ever onward, arm those rebels and ignore those polls, the two old mavericks agreed. Because there’s nothing worse than being shown up by history as a fool.

Former Secretary Of State Hillary Clinton had no comment on the matter, just a long sigh.
Update: Uh-oh.

As usual, whether it’s warmongering or attention whoring, McCain’s always the first out of the box! Obama may as well stay home: President McCain has already told the American People. Make with the weaponry, and full speed ahead!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/13/13 at 05:48 AM

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Yelling Theater In A Crowded Fire

Screaming Mimis
Self-criticism: any Blingee about hot air and hysteria needs moar Tom “Not Just Bloviating” Friedman:

Imagine how many real restrictions to our beautiful open society we would tolerate if there were another attack on the scale of 9/11.

To be fair, Friedman was without an Iranian cab-driver to help him find his way through his own tightened sphincter at the time.

And from the “Should Know Better” wing of the Department Of Garbage Analysis Department: This country makes the Stasi look like a bunch of Boy Scouts! That comes at 55.23 of this Democracy Now clip, in which Hedges, author of the compelling and possibly all-too-self-descriptive “War Is A Force Which Gives Us Meaning,” also avers that “this is far beyond a reasonable debate,” which Mr. Hedges’ co-guest, reasonable debater, Administration opacity critic and former Obama boss-o-him Professor Geoffrey Stone, might have guessed already, if his comment section at Huffpo is any indication

TRAITORHEROGOATWORSHIP! The contents of Amy Goodman’s vacuum bag to anyone who can’t guess the civil libertastic subject of this encomium at the charnel house formerly known as the comments section of Talking Points Memo: 

It IS what it is; but clearly, most of the posters on this site are more invested in defending their team than being moved by Truth. So they shoot the messenger… it’s like crucifying The Christ, all over again.

(I admit to loving how obnoxious this woman is: to another woman who suggested not letting this scandal keep us home in November: “You’d be more amusing as a cheerleader if you wore pom poms on your breasts and bounced around.” Superciliousness, implacable belief in her own infallibility, allegiance to No Mere Human, reminds me of something..P….PU….what could it be? It’s so familiar…sounds like PURE? PURE something? PURE-MA!)

read the whole post »

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/12/13 at 04:18 PM

Sunday, June 09, 2013

NSA Superhero Flees to His Fortress Of Pillowtude

Did you hear the one about the technical assistant for the CIA who leaked government documents to his favorite libertarian before holing up in a luxury hotel in Hong Kong, and stuffs pillows under his door because he thinks that will foil eavesdropping?

Meet Ed Snowden, a 29-year-old making 200 grand a year to work for Booz-Allen, who had a pretty cushy life in Hawaii before blowing the whistle on practices he thought needed airing, and flying to a city he deemed up to his standards for freedom, within that two-systems-one-country-that-country-being-China sort of thing.

I was at work on a post about the extreme ugliness being displayed all over the internet the past few days, which may yet appear with its attendant Blingee, but of course Mr. Snowden and Glennzilla had to step on my Blingee with their big scoop. Thanks, fellas!  Really, reopening and examining the Patriot Act seems like an excellent idea to me, even if the messenger(s) come with shipping containers full of baggage, but Glenn, as an expat and a lawyer, don’t you think you should have informed your idealistic young source that Hong Kong and the U.S. have an extradition treaty? Whoops. What, weren’t the hotels in Taiwan good enough?

**Update: Of course he’s a Ron Paul supporter! What else would he be?
(Title edited to reflect author’s slow realization that maybe she WANTS search engines to find this post. Doh!)

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/09/13 at 03:03 PM

Thursday, June 06, 2013

It Takes 7 Years For Glenn To Get His USA Today?

So you may have heard that the politisphere is a little angsty today. My television isn’t even on and I can hear Chris Matthews yelling, all because of GIUARDIAN GLENN GREENWALD’S BIG GIANT SCOOP, which is is not materially different from LESLIE CAULEY’S BIG GIANT SCOOP OF AUGHT SIX, except that now it’s Obama doing it! With secret FISA courts, which I have a vague memory of Obama voting for way back when, which is why I have GIANT SCOOP letdown right now. It wasn’t my favorite of Obama’s moves then, but I decided I’d take the good with the iffy and move on. And then the blogoverse trumpets GLENZILLA’S VERY HUGE NEWS and it turns out to be sort-of-not-warrantless-not-wiretapping. You know how you may have always intended to catch a hot show after catching one good episode, and when you finally tune in, it’s a rerun of that same damn episode?

I’m curious: am I the only person who assumed the Bush-era program never stopped? Since the snooping doesn’t involve identity or conversations, but exclusively “Meta-data” of my “telephony” being stored by the NSA— but not accessed without a FISA warrant— I really am having a problem getting my outrage on. If only I could pretend to be outraged, the way the Republicans do!

(Big ole hat tip to TPM commenter Doremus Jessup20 ; perhaps GG should think about tipping his lid—currently up on the Guardian page, collecting coins, to help keep Glenn HONEST—to Ms. Cauley.)

**Update** Well! isn’t it nice to know we’re never alone? Oh Hell’s Bells. The discouraging thing is that I’m not surprised at all. I’m just surprised that the NSA didn’t buy my behavior from Google the way Hungry Girl did. Nothing I do is a secret to her!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/06/13 at 06:37 PM

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Whatever Happened To The Noble Art Of Heckling

The Glutteratti

Own your heckling, Powerhecklers of America! What, are you too noble to enunciate your vowels? Is it more authentic to make people look at you with amazement as they wonder, “What is that nutcase talking about?”

While Medea Benjamin insisted that she’s no mere heckler, she’s a protester, newest delicate media flower,GetEqual’s Ellen Sturtz, was “taken aback” when she shouted at Michelle Obama, only to have the First Lady get off the podium and right into her face. “One of the things I don’t do well is this, understand?” said Mrs. Obama, and offered to leave while Sturtz took the mike: crowd’s choice. Astonishingly to Sturtz, the crowd chose Mrs. Obama, instead of joining Sturtz in demanding that Michelle use the Power Of Pillowtalk to persuade her husband to sign an Executive Order offering protections to gays working for military contractors, rather than achieving that goal through legislation.

Talking to the Washington Blade, Sturtz described the encounter thusly:

She cut me off immediately and leaned over podium, sort of her put her big hand towards me and said something to the effect of ‘You don’t do that to me’ or ‘I don’t do that.

Strutz also was somewhat vague on whether she had planned to talk to the First Lady’s Big Hand: GetEqual’s site includes a press release which seems to imply that the interruption was planned..

Most media outlets are omitting the fact that the crowd which had forked over a minimum of half a grand to hear Obama, was gathered at the home of “Power Couple” Dr. Nan Schaffer and Karen Dixon. (ActEqual had ponied up for Sturtz’s entry, too). So it may be presumed that Sturtz was not the only one there who’d known the pain of living a closeted life; she was just the only one shouting at Michelle Obama about it. And the only one to be surprised when the First Lady had the temerity to answer her back.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/05/13 at 04:29 PM

Categories: ImagesLGBTMessylaneousPoliticsManic ProgressivesSkull Hampers

Yakkity Sax Goes To The Republican Unhappy Place

Rape. It’s Mother Nature’s way! Even with background checks and all, the military has a hard time screening out sex offenders, because golly! It has to train its soldiers to fight their very own Mother Nature-installed hormones, what keep knocking up all those female soldiers, especially on aircraft carriers, where it is well known that women should be kept away from the manimals who serve our country. Thank heavens Big Daddy was never one of them, as the late, great Senator from New Jersey once pointed out.

Watching Chambliss (R [U Really Asking Which Party?]—PreCambria) apparently doing some equivalent of thinking aloud is instructive, if agita-inducing for Republican consultants:

Didn’t we tell’em wimmen soldiers was a bad idea? Who knows how many of them high-spirited young boys got a little too frisky? I have an idea—let’s investigate the baby-mamas! Honey, who did this to you? You can tell me—I’m your C.O.

On the one hand, at least Chambliss isn’t taking the Akin line. On the other, he’s just managed to further torpedo the rotting Republican vessel, in a week where College Republicans had already deemed it unseaworthy and Representative Marsha Blackburn ran it aground.

One thing Chambliss has managed to accomplish, though: he’s helped to show why no rising tide’s going to lift the GOP boat: no matter how many rats desert, it’s still full of Republicans.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 06/05/13 at 12:01 PM

Categories: ImagesNewsPoliticsWar On WomenSkull Hampers

Sunday, May 26, 2013

I’m Dreaming Of A May White Sale

      Alasklown Memorial Flake

Don’t forget that as of this weekend, it’s perfectly comme il faut to wear white shoes—or in these people’s case, white snow shoes.

Everybody out to make snow-wingnuts! We at Chez Polly are welcoming Mama-San, her baggies of discouraged tomatoes and bananas, and her relentless pursuit of bad grammar, for the holiday, by making almost hourly wine runs. Our boy Strange is resting up from his first week going to Adaptive Living School at last, at last, about which more later, depending on how he feels, but suffice it to say it has been the first really good week for him in a very long time.

How is every little thing, Roasters?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/26/13 at 03:30 PM

Categories: BoozeImagesMessylaneousPoliticsNuttersRumproast RelatedStrangeAppar8us

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Just LIke Bush Except For The Closing Gitmo Thing And The Listening Thing And That Other Thing

Code Crank

MEDEAMEDEAMEDEA! You are so vocal and full-throated, that even the guy at the podium has to admire you, even though you want him to close Gitmo and he—uh, wants to close Gitmo. And now he says it’s important to pay attention to you, so congratulations, conveniently formerly Susan B, inconveniently non-all-powerful Barry O has just endorsed you! You are now tainted, co-opted meat. I’m sure it was his diabolical plan all along.

In other news besides Medea Benjamin, the Guardian live blog, as usual, has a wonderfully succinct rundown of the President’s speech today. Perfect for Dana Perino-length attention spans!

Oh yes, nearly forgot: the President announced that he’d work with Congress to repeal the AUMF and end the perpetual War On Terror. Whew! Almost missed it!

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/23/13 at 08:32 PM

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Hack Ack-Ack

Modo Mundo

May Robert Gibbs find solace someday, after the savaging he received at the wit of Bill Clinton’s ex-wife Maureen Dowd.

“I don’t normally read Maureen,” Gibbs, now an MSNBC contributor, said during an appearance on the network. “I don’t largely because it’s sort of largely the same column for the last, like, eight years.”

Oh Robert, why tempt Fate? Why?

After an uneasy interregnum, during which dogs were silenced with juicy bones and straw spread in the streets outside MSNBC studios, came to Politico the crushing reply:

I don’t normally listen to Robert,” she wrote in an e-mail to POLITICO. “I don’t largely because it’s sort of largely the same tired defense of President Obama for the last, like, six years.”

Now that’s some Pulitzer-grade devastation right there.

Makes us wonder with what weaponized snark the Dowdinator crushed the authors of this hilarious and still, like, apropos 2009 Huffpo Maureen Dowd Column-Writing Flow Chart?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/21/13 at 07:09 PM

Categories: BoozeImagesKnee SlappersPoliticsOur Stupid Media

Coburn & Co. Continued: Can It With The Compassion Crap, You Crass Creeps

Anybody remember to set a stopwatch or start a pool on how long it took Senator Tom Coburn to accuse critics of his hypocritical disaster-aid political posturing “crass?”

For pity’s sake, all Coburn wants to do is make sure his constituents
receive help

the most compassionate, effective and efficient way possible.”

Presumably, Sen. Coburn’s attempts to starve the agency that would provide that help won’t affect all that effectiveness. As Betty Cracker observes,

what does seem somewhat novel—to me, at least—is the brazen callousness in today’s breed of Republicans

Meanwhile in the annals of brazen callousness, Sen. Coburn’s fellow coprolite OK Sen. James Inhofe has tried to get around their stonewalling aid for Eastern states by calling the Sandy aid bill a “slush fund:”

“they were getting things … in the Virgin Islands, fixing roads there, and putting roofs on houses in Washington, D.C.”

Evidently the good senators are unaware that both Washington and the Virgin Islands are U.S. territories. But what does that matter? It’s not like they have senators to deny aid to anybody.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/21/13 at 03:25 PM

Categories: ImagesNewsPoliticsNuttersTeabaggerySkull Hampers

Friday, May 17, 2013

Woodward: WATERGHAZI!!

Apparently primordial Villager Bob Woodward’s information stream is less than a trickle these days, or else how to explain his ignorance of the news that Benghazi emails purportedly doctored by the White House were actually doctored by interested, and likely Republican, parties instead?

Perhaps Woodward is still a little traumatized after having been threatened with a good dinner and flattery by a thuggish member of the Obama administration.

Or, perhaps, somewhere deep within the man (if that’s possible at all at all), he needs to discredit himself by daring more careful reporters to throw facts at him like a carnival dunk-me clown. Predictably, though, at the Village carnival, the game is evidently rigged, and Woodward stays dry as a bone.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/17/13 at 01:58 PM

Categories: ImagesPoliticsOur Stupid MediaSkull Hampers

Never Fear, FOX Fans, The New Dingbat’s Here

Just because they bounced the Alasklown, you didn’t think FOX was giving up on their mission to give the maximum possible juice to the dimmest possible bulbs in these divided States, did you? 

Rest assured that while there’s an unemployed photogenic psychotic willing to preen in front of bright lights and pocket Wingnut Welfare, FOX will be assiduous in helping malevolent loons fail their way to the top, if by “top” we mean the bottom of a barrel similar to the one West likes to torture Iraqi policemen in.


Posted by Mrs. Polly on 05/17/13 at 12:57 PM

Categories: ImagesMessylaneousPoliticsNuttersTeabaggeryOur Stupid MediaTelevision

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Heedless Booby Wound In Tabloid War

Oh. So it was the FBI’s fault that Rupe’s failing fish-wrapper condemned two innocent men to everlasting Google-image infamy. Front-paging the FBI’s internally-distributed email depicting possible persons of interest is just the sort of sound journalistic judgement the Post is famous for
It’s not surprising, though, that Rupert might already be feeling some resentment for the FBI. .The way they intrude into his business is simply appalling! Who do they think they are, Rupert Murdoch?

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 04/20/13 at 05:28 PM

Categories: ImagesNewsPoliticsOur Stupid MediaSkull Hampers

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Dumber, Strike That, Crazier MFer Than Hank Williams Jr. Discovered, Updated With Moar F’d Uppedness

Bocephus may think the Kenyan Usurper is 50 shades of Hitler, but at least he never sent him Ricin, unlike, allegedly, “Master Of Impressions” Kevin Paul Curtis. Yes, the “Master Of Impressions,” a particularly disgruntled Elvis impersonator, is believed to have posted the castor bean-flecked envelopes that might have tainted the inboxes of a more than a few targets of his ire.

The more I checked out the versatile performer’s YouTube channel, the less I wanted to believe it myself. Really, who would want even fake Johnny Cash (below the jump) really languishing behind bars?

**UPDATE: Can this girl pick’em? via TPM:

read the whole post »

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 04/18/13 at 04:46 PM

Categories: ImagesMessylaneousMusicMusic NewsPoliticsNuttersSkull Hampers

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