Is NYT columnist Maureen Dowd a real person? As far as I know, she is. But sometimes I suspect the real Ms. Dowd is lounging at a tiki bar in St. Thomas while a dusty old program rearranges the copy, inserts new names and buzzwords and cranks out the same tired old column she originally wrote in 1993.
In the Platonic Ideal of a Dowd column, Democratic men lactate, Democratic women possess testicles and conservatives or nominally Democratic conservative archetypes get to embody their actual genders and be regarded as tough hombres regardless of their activities away from the klieg lights. Actual events the column purports to analyze may occasionally require role switches to make some inane point, but all elements are accounted for in some configuration. Today’s column on the Ron Suskind book that alleges sexism in the White House is no exception:
It’s passing strange that a man who was raised by a strong single mother, who talks affectionately about the influence of the banker grandmother who helped raise him, who married a strong woman, who lives with his mother-in-law and who has two daughters he adores, could ever create an Oval man-cave where some women felt uncomfortable.
Or maybe after all that petting and pecking by women, he just wanted to macho it up at the office, bonding by talking sports, playing sports and watching SportsCenter. This president in particular, though, has to be careful to make sure he includes the feminine perspective, even if it’s from men who have a full complement of it, like Joe Biden and David Axelrod.
Biden and Axelrod are girls. Girly Obama must get his macho on. Only men watch SportsCenter. Given the binary nature of the Dowdian worldview, it’s fairly easy to replace her with a program.
Nothing raises my hackles like a political conversation that starts with “both sides do…” because 999 times out of a thousand, what follows is pure, unadulterated bullshit. But here’s that one in a thousand case of true equivalency: Both sides do contain way more than their fair share of puling infants.
First there’s the right-wing freak-out over the identification of self-proclaimed Christian Anders Behring Breivik as a “Christian” and a fan of anti-Islam hate sites like Atlas Shrugs. Sorry, but that’s what he calls himself. And if you’ve spent the last decade shrieking “GLOBAL JIHAD” every time a Muslim jaywalks, you don’t get to yell “BLOOD LIBEL” when one of your fans takes your eliminationist rhetoric to its logical conclusion.
Yes, the Obama White House has been all into the Social Media from the very start, but perhaps President Obama might be reanalyzing the cost/benefit ratio now that Joe’sjoined.
Gaffetweeting giggles aside, the Twitter Townhall starts at 2PM EST. The focus is the economy and jobs. If you want to twitter questions at the President, the hashtag is #askObama. The conversation will be viewable at that hashtag, until of course the eternal failwhale is hefted onto our screens. But we’ll still be able to watch it livestreamed from the WH, here.
And of course the Republicans are doing their best to obstruct proceedings in what is essentially a denial-of-service attack, because denial-of-service is what they do best.
I love this. Not because I think the president and his team are Super Friends—I just love the thought of how galling this Obama Administration competence is to the Bush dead-enders who spent eight years cheering for Chimpy McHalliburton and crew as they stepped on their own dicks at every turn and only managed to shoot an old lawyer in the face rather than Osama bin Laden. I’m petty that way.
As noted in this space in the past (via Jon Stewart), Fox & Friends’ Gretchen Carlson isn’t really dumber than a bag of frozen okra. It’s just her job to pretend to be an empty-headed dimwit so as to appeal to the network’s target audience—the slack-jawed, vacant-eyed yahoo demographic. And boy did Carlson ever fulfill that contractual obligation splendidly yesterday in a segment on President Obama’s deficit speech.
Instead of focusing on the content of the speech, the Fox crew pounced on a 30-second clip of VP Biden with his eyes closed. Was he in deep concentration? Suppressing a fart? Nodding off? Regardless, this is clearly a more fruitful line of inquiry than trying to parse dumb old budget numbers or evaluate competing visions of America’s future:
Carlson: See, now here’s my take on it: Had the president broken out graphs and charts like Paul Ryan did and maybe even did a little video insert like Paul Ryan did, he would have kept people’s attention.
Jesus H. God, Gretchen Carlson—you are good at your job, O Snark’s Sultry Slayer! Still, we who only sit and mock must soldier on as best we can…
Since tomorrow is probably going to be wall-to-wall blogging about Glenn Beck’s Rubestock Festival in DC, I decided to skip Joe Biden’s convention speech and fast-forward to that fleeting Golden Hour of Wediditude that divided the Waning Light of the Bush Era from the Suffocating Nightfall of Palinism…if only for half a news-cycle.
Two years ago tonight, I wasn’t on Rumproast, so I can only conclude I was shaving the cats, out stealing yard signs or teaching my weekly ACORN class in Physical Intimidation & Document Forgery. But had I known Hillary Clinton was about to deliver the most impassioned endorsement of Barack Obama by any respected public figure, ever, I’d have popped a tape in the VCR and set the Signal Decoder to “Orange.”
Nothing sends wingnuts into an ear-splitting snit faster than a perceived slight to Ronald Reagan, whom they place at the right hand of Baby Jeebus for being somewhat less embarrassing in retrospect than either Bush. Jay Nordlinger over at NRO is reduced to insensate babbling by a remark from Vice President Biden:
It’s not often you hear Ronald Reagan bad-mouthed these days, even by people who hated him when he was alive and working. According to the pool reporter, Biden “pledged that if politicians will do what’s in the country’s best interest, America’s best days are ahead.” Biden then said, “That’s not Ronald Reagan sunshine in America. That’s literally, literally true.”
Sunshine in America, morning in America — whatever. (Maybe Biden was thinking of the “shining city on a hill,” too?) Nice to see that the Gipper can still get under their skin a little bit.
It’s pretty clear to me Biden meant “sunshine” in the “don’t pump sunshine up my skirt” sense, or, to employ another idiom, “don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.” But unlike Nordlinger, I don’t labor under an L. Ron Hubbard-sized portrait of Reagan and pine for a fresh round of Gipper golden showers. I guess that makes it easier to grasp the point of the remark.
Nordlinger goes on:
A final thing: Speaking to this insider group, Biden referred to the president as “Barack”: “Barack and I sat in on” this meeting. A tad bit condescending, I think. I wonder what he calls Obama one on one. Cheney, I believe, called George W. Bush “sir.”
I’m going to take a wild guess here and surmise that Biden calls the president “Barack.” And if Cheney did indeed call The Shrub “sir,” the patronization that dripped from the honorific would have been thick and sticky enough to seal a thousand gushing oil wellheads.
Nordlinger’s prissy parsing is another welcome sign that they got nuthin’. Nice to see that Joe can still get under their skin a little bit.
If you’d just care more about us I wouldn’t have to compare you to Nixon!
Srsly, how does this woman rate a syndicated column and a spot at the N.Y. Times? She devotes a full column to whining about how Joe Biden is so nice to the press (and after they were so mean to him in the past) and he even gave them a party (not that that counts for anything because they’re all too professional to tire swing be influenced by that or anything) but cranky Obama barely gives them the time of day JUST LIKE NIXON (oh, except for the numerous one-on-one interviews with EVERYONE BUT HER) but that’s not the point. He will ruin himself, simply ruin himself, in Washington if he doesn’t start pandering to her the Washington press as it is.
I hope, truly hope, that Barack is reading this AS I WRITE and taking it to heart.
I don’t know what’s wrong with kids today. Remember Joe Biden’s “It’s a big fuckin’ deal, man!” during the health care bill signing ceremony? I found it kinda endearing.
But some prissy little bastard in Kentucky (who describes himself as “A Concerned Christian Youth of Today’s America”) took offense and wrote an “open letter” to the veep. Here are a few excerpts:
Today is a sad day for my fellow Americans and me when such a powerful figure, such as yourself, could so loosely use the “F” word on national television. I know you have to understand the powerful influence you hold on children’s lives across the nation. As a junior in a public school in eastern Kentucky, it is hard enough to try to escape or get through the school day without hearing such perverse words from my own peers. However, to hear such a prominent man who helps hold our country in his hands blatantly use such a word makes me worry about my country’s morals and values.
[snip]
Many may say, I am so young what do I know? I know that I have grown up in a wonderful country that has tremendously changed throughout the years. Although I love the changes America has gone through with freedom, it frightens me to think of how weak Her morals and values are beginning to become. Vice-President Biden, you owe your fellow Americans, or at least its youth, an apology for the use of such an inappropriate word. I, for one, refuse to think that this is what has become of the English Language, especially when there are more powerful words and ways to get one’s point across.
Genuine good guy that he is, Biden actually sent a letter of apology to the squeamish little shit, saying, “I should have expressed my excitement in a more appropriate manner.”
The memorial service was very moving, and Obama’s appearance and eulogy were very well received in WV. I thought I heard someone yell “We love you, Obama” shortly after he finished. Yep [link updated with video/audio].
UPDATE: Photo of Obama walking out of the service with Linda Davis, the grandmother of deceased miner Cory Davis…
Scroll to 1:30 and tell me just exactly what the Brown-Haired Guy Who Isn’t Steve Doocy is doing in this clip. I’m not exactly sure what it is, but I’m pretty damn sure it’s illegal.
Crank ‘em up. It’s mushy, but Biden either says “This is a big fucking deal” or “You broke my heart, Fredo” or “Today Marx stands vindicated by History.”
Yes, John Boehner announced today that Republicans intend to “crash the party” that Obama’s putting on this Thursday.
OK cool. But, um. Soooo. Didn’t President Obama very explicitly invite the Repubs to the Health Care Summit? So, I mean, how do you crash a party you’re invited to? Boehner goes on to say that they haven’t actually accepted any invitation yet.
Boehner explained that leaders are waiting for a response from White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel to a letter they sent earlier this month that asked a series of questions on the bipartisan summit.
“It’s our intent to be there on Thursday. We’re waiting on a response and we’re hopeful that we’ll receive one soon,” Boehner explained.
So is not RSVP’ing, then showing up anyway, the new “party crashing”? But there’s no point in trying to decipher what he meant by any of this. It’s just more Republican silliness, joshing and shoving each other and shifting from one foot to the next because, truthfully, they don’t know how to handle this whole summit idea.
Dan Pfeiffer, writing on the White House website, couldn’t resist thumbing his nose a little over the failure of the Repubs to post their comprehensive solutions to the health care crisis. To which they responded “We did! We posted this!” Like, about, last October or something. And it’s the House Republicans *plan*, Senate Repubs not involved. But anyway it’s not as LONG as the stupid Dem/Pelosi Wicked Takeover plan.
Um, what’s that? You say “long” isn’t the issue any more? Oh yeah, that’s right. Now the Democrats plan is too short. Freaking bunch of Goldilocks, I swear.
But the people who brought us this health care plan are complaining that the White House proposal is too short?
* Number one: let families and businesses buy health insurance across state lines.
* Number two: allow individuals, small businesses, and trade associations to pool together and acquire health insurance at lower prices, the same way large corporations and labor unions do.
* Number three: give states the tools to create their own innovative reforms that lower health care costs.
* Number four: end junk lawsuits that contribute to higher health care costs by increasing the number of tests and procedures that physicians sometimes order not because they think it’s good medicine, but because they are afraid of being sued.
That plan’s palm sized, is what it is.
Expect lots more of this before Thursday. Bring popcorn.
