My God, what a hellhole—a gutted, trash-strewn Abattoir of Dreams where Socialism’s failed human Petri cultures scrounge for rods of dry, salted cow-flesh and enlist in steel-cage matches with Mexican luchadores, evil ninjas, obese Social Security Disability sponges and scary robots because government-subsidized Liberal education has damned them to a life of Hopeless Parasitism and nihilistic thrill-seeking. Only when these opportunity-deprived zombies are gnawing on processed tube-meat and being kicked shitless by a mechanical man in a diving helmet do they feel truly alive.
Accomplishments: Lopez has worked for the National Review for a third of her life. Her reign as editor of its blog, The Corner, has been marked by very little actual editing (did you know Martin Luther King Jr.’s wife’s name was Loretta?), at least one sentence from May 25, 2004 that should be remembered—“If the radio gig doesn’t work out[,] Al Franken can always run for Senate”—and pom-poms whenever gays suffers a civil rights setback. The Corner perch has given Lopez entrée to the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Times and the cable networks.
Fun Fact: From her Amazon wish list: The Nanny: Complete Season 4, The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries: Season One and an Israeli paratrooper bag.
Antecedent: None. Lopez is a true original. Never in the history of American letters has an editor had so little grasp of basic sentence structure.
nbcnewyork.com serves up this inspired CGI re-enactment of JetBlue Flight Attendant Steven Slater’s post-landing crackup and swashbuckling flounce, following an altercation with a passenger who dropped the door of an overhead luggage bin on Slater’s head after being asked to keep his gear stowed until the plane came to a stop.
Dammit, Keep The Cameras On Me!
Here is mercifully short Part IV of Big Blightblurt’s monologue from yesterday’s grand gathering of peaceful Tea Partiers of every creed and color gaggle of Foxwatching paleopensioners.
There’s a half-hour of this stuff; I brought you the shortest clip, which goes conspiracy/Journolist/smear Mary Frances Berry, Big Gubmint’s newest out-of-contextual experiment in its drive to maintain the brand as go-to site for slandering black women.
Note the lack of interest in much larger crowd across the street, though comparison is difficult since the Bigs are not so much into showing their multicultural audience. At all. Talking Points Memo has a picture which pretty much echoes yesterday’s. Wee The Peepull run the gamut from A to B!
I know what you’re thinking, but bear with me. This video includes shit you’ll never see anywhere else:
1. Mark Blankfield, the greatest physical comedian since Buster Keaton (although you can’t tell from this clip), in an absolutely kitchen-clean print of a hopelessly underrated dumb comedy from 1982 about a kindly surgeon who snorts white powder and turns into a Deranged Disco Freak.
2. George Chakiris. Period.
3. Tim Thomerson (Jack Deth, Dollman) at a time when he still had half a chance of being a slick, romantic lead.
4. The invention of the phrase “Putzpuller Prize.”
5. Possibly the greatest in-your-face, “I Yam What I Yam” male stripping anthem ever written, complete with soul-trio back-up.
6. “Some follow their hearts, I follow my nose. Some put on airs, I TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES.”
Plus, it’s partly dubbed in German, which lends the whole thing an air of disturbing Weimar menace that is absent from the original.
Once again, the Daily Caller is trying to hype its possession of purloined JournoList emails, with its usual blithe disregard for its own promise of “breaking news.” However, while the rest of the nation focuses on Shirley Sherrod, Tucker Carlson is bound and determined to get all the mileage he can out of his compendium of keyhole-listening, and push the story he’d like to be above the fold. Yesterday’s “JournoLister is helping decide where reporters sit in the White House Briefing room!” made hardly a plop, much less a splash, for the love of Heaven! Is anybody there? Does anybody care? Dear God, will the carnage never end?
BONUS FUNNY VIDEO: If you aren’t one of the million plus people who saw it this weekend ... IT’S A DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY!!!! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN????
MORE: Of course, there were the inevitable Double Rainbow remix and parody videos. Fortunately, some of them are really, really funny. We’ll start with something froggy from Rumproast pal James Urbaniak...
